Losing it (Thriller/ Terror VN)

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Tonyar90
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Losing it (Thriller/ Terror VN)

#1 Post by Tonyar90 »

Hello!

Im writing a VN and want to know what do you think, any comments will help

LOSING IT ( a visual novel)

CHARACTERS:
NAME: Richard R.
AGE: 27
ROLE: protagonist / antagonist
DESCRIPTION: Tall, slender man with dark eyes. He wears simple, white shirts and dark pants. Looks very typical and normal.
PERSONALITY (?): Determined, loyal, bitter

NAME: Streetdog.
AGE: 27
ROLE: protagonist / antagonist
DESCRIPTION: He isn’t seen until the end of the visual novel. Is usually covered from head to toe.
PERSONALITY (?): Ruthless, ready to kill. Knows about having split personalities.


NAME: Anna R.
AGE: 23
ROLE: victim (dead)
DESCRIPTION: Shows up as a corpse. The first victim of the ‘streetdog’ (the killer’s ‘nickname). She was beautiful, blonde hair, blue eyes. Was pregnant when murdered.
PERSONALITY (?): -- (was sweet, loving and caring with all)

OTHER VICTIMS: Are all female, same age and looks (similar, at least) to Anna. The only living characters in the VN is Richard. He has no idea about what’s going on – but his surroundings (never drawn, just mentioned, a buzz in the air when he walks anywhere busy, etc) seems to realize that something is not alright with her.

OUTLINE: (the base, unrelated to any choices the player might have to make)

- Richard is seen (cutscene or just on the screen): collapsed on the floor in his bedroom. His wife lies there in a pool of her own blood
He swears to kill whoever that had done this, not noticing the blood in his hands (can be foreshadowing)
There is a scene change where the murderer is shown, dragging another young blonde woman into an alley.
This ends up in the paper
Richard sits in front of his desk, trying to match pictures, recordings, etc. to the man that could have done it.
No one seems to even realize what is going on with him
The killer is seen killing others (and Richard is NEVER seen nearby, even if he has a lot of personal material on the cases (drawings of the victims, etc. etc)
He decided to try and lure the killer out by finding a woman that could match the usual victims.
He finds a woman – and realizes that it will not be very easy to earn her trust (given what has been happening). So as Richard, he starts to woe her. He fights hard for her ‘love’, which he earns – and soon, he had the perfect trap set up for the killer.
He doesn’t quite understand why he knows so well that it will work. Basically, at this stage, he still has no idea that there is ‘someone else’ in his head. The ‘two’ personalities both show up next to each other as the game progresses – one scene from Richard, the other something related to the murderer. Richard is trying to track down the murderer and hence some of this can be seen through security camera footage, etc. (basically just flashing lights, maybe a couple shadows in the corner, and then sounds of women crying in pain, etc.)
Richard starts suspecting something when the beautiful girl he ‘loved’ is murdered – but he is not nearby, and neither is the police. She is caught off guard in her own house, just as she prepared to pack for him.
STREETDOG entered her house without alerting any neighbours, BUT used his real identity to lure her into his arms – where he stabbed her and cut her fingers off one by one. Richard finds out before the police does – the ‘streetdog’ had sent him a little present ( the girl’s fingers). He runs to her house and finds her rotting corpse.
And also, a letter addressed to himself.
Starting there, several other young ladies are murdered, and a letter is left, waiting just for him. He finds it, but the police does not.
Somehow, Richard finally realizes what has been going on from the start. He is frozen in complete shock (but at this point, the reader / player is still left in the dark, as the peak of the game is yet to come. He finds a letter right under his bed – the envelope contains the picture of a dark man sitting on the roof of his building, a knife in hand. However, it’s the letter that scares him, for the ‘streetdog’ announces that he is next.
Little does he know that it’s fairly impossible. However, this causes him to live in constant fear. For the next bit, leading up to the big reveal, Richard becomes paranoid instead of being just curious (and seeking revenge on the side). He starts seeing things (which is actually caused by his schizophrenia) and he seeks the help of the police. He encounters many men, but they are all faceless as his senses blur, barely allowing him to understand what is going on around him. Meanwhile, the killer is still on the lose, waiting to strike him down.
Richard ends up completely crazy, and despite how strange they seem, he keeps running to the police to help him in any way. They have been suspicious about him for a while (which he does not comprehend at that point), and end up placing him in house arrest.
However, being caged never really stopped the Streetdog, and he ends up escaping, killing all the guards that were secretly watching over him.
Richard is snatched from the street (the special forces end up tracking him down). By the time he snaps back into his own mind, he is in the middle of the interrogation, eyes widening. He has no memories of what happened and seems completely clueless, but the police is pushing him into admitting something he cannot recall.
This scene is about realization as he sees himself kill for the first time. His thoughts become a jumbled mess as he lets the Streetdog take over again, hoping that it will make it easier.
The last few lines of the VN are told from Richard’s POV as he escapes, wondering why the blood sticking to his skin feels so great. How he managed to get away and what happens now remain a mystery as the crazed man comes to accept the truth about himself.


Thanks!

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