Buy Gones [Very Simple Otome] [GxB + GxG]

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tincrumbs
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Buy Gones [Very Simple Otome] [GxB + GxG]

#1 Post by tincrumbs » Sat Jul 14, 2018 3:51 pm

Buy Gones
Lynne Mickelson momentarily has to cut her college education short and return to her hometown after her father gets in a vicious traffic collision. To help him with his medical bills, she gets a job at a small antique shop called Buy Gones. While the place is definitely odd, she's not going to turn down the work. The oddness of the place certainly increases when she meets the people inside, though. All of them are mysterious and strangely behaved. And it turns out to be for good reason after a man breaks in and tries to murder her boss. Turns out that may be a front for a drug cartel and now she's right in the middle of it. She's suddenly got a lot of questions: Why would they hire her? Is she in danger here? Should she stay for the money she desperately needs? And, most importantly, why does she want to stay?
......
Characters
Lynne Mickelson - (first and last name changeable by player) A very nervous and untrusting young woman who misses college life. She's not very talkative and really struggles to get along with anyone. While she's had jobs in the past, she prefers a stricter structure (and less human interaction) and is petrified of failing at something new. Thankfully though, she'll take whatever she can get. She's pretty wary of her co-workers and feels out of place as they all are already so close. Despite all this, she finds Buy Gones a comforting and cozy place.
......Eyes: brown
......Hair: brown
......Height: average
......Build: slight
......Clothing: professional
......Role: main character (not datable)
Jay Olsen - Lynne's co-worker and likely the one that makes her the most uncomfortable to try an understand. He's very friendly, energetic, and a jokester, which puts him at odds with Lynne's very withdrawn personality. However, it's pretty clear to Lynne that there's something to him that he tries to hide, which only adds to her uneasiness. Jay is incredibly kind and supportive of Lynne, encouraging her to communicate and feel comfortable at Buy Gones.
......Eyes: blue
......Hair: blonde
......Height: short
......Build: thin
......Clothing: casual
......Role: bachelor
......Preferred Traits: trusting + accepting
Clara Charleston - The only regular Buy Gones has and a clearly eccentric character. She comes in at opening every morning, immediately buries her face in a book in the corner, and leaves only at closing. She never acknowledges anyone at the store, which becomes a problem when she seems to be distressed one day. To try and make sure she's not left alone, Lynne chooses to communicate through small letters left in books. They start a shaky, silent friendship. Clara eventually finds someone she can talk to in Lynne and decides to try and repay the favor.
......Eyes: brown
......Hair: red
......Height: petite
......Build: curvy
......Clothing: eccentric
......Role: bachelorette
......Preferred Traits: calm + kind
John Boro - Lynne's boss, a very abrasive and straightforward man. While he usually treats the customers nicely, he doesn't extend the same treatment to Lynne and instead ignores her as much as he can. So Lynne works as hard as she can to be a good employee, but continuously doubts herself. Even if she doesn't voice it aloud, he always swoops in just as it hits it's lowest to give her confidence and leaves just as quickly. The abrupt change in personalities hit a weird balance, though and they somehow seem to fall into step.
......Eyes: blue
......Hair: black
......Height: average
......Build: solid
......Clothing: semi-professional
......Role: bachelor
......Preferred Traits: reliable + attentive
......Other Note: walks with a cane and strong limp.
Caroline Gatz - One of the two body-guards at Buy Gones. She's the only one that makes Lynne feel at ease straight from the start with a charming smile. She treats most everyone she meets like royalty and is exceedingly polite, to the point that Lynne can't help but feel strange talking to her. But, it makes her easy to talk to and Caroline is more than happy to listen. When Lynne starts asking her the questions, it's clear that something is just a little off about Caroline. It makes her starts pushing Lynne away, something Lynne is oddly determined to change.
......Eyes: brown
......Hair: brown
......Height: tall
......Build: muscular
......Clothing: professional
......Role: bachelorette
......Preferred Traits: curious + resilient
Secondary Characters--
Dr. Frank Chase - Micheal's doctor and his close friend.
Micheal Mickelson - Lynne's father, currently hospitalized. Very sweet and although he and Lynne have a rocky past together, they're very close now.
Muriel Charleston - Clara's mother.
Robin - To Lynne, Robin is a strange, faceless villain everyone at Buy Gones is clearly terrified of.
Samuel Gatz - Caroline's brother and fellow Buy Gones bodyguard. He and Caroline do not get along and are constantly at odds, sometimes bordering on violent.
......
Notes
Technical Notes--
  • The game-play (and really everything about this game) would be very basic. No mini-games or anything, just the traditional dialogue options that lead down different routes.
  • The characters purposefully have no assigned ages. It isn't particularly important to most of their relationships and personalities--with the exception of Lynne who is obviously of college age.
  • Hopefully this is obvious, but just in case: the "drug cartel" in this story are highly fictionalized and not terribly logical. It does not represent real cartels in many ways and is really just a miss-mash of different organized crime groups over the years.
  • This is (so far) a one-man effort! I'm too shy to work with others. (/~\) I would have to hire out for art, though, considering I'm not an artist myself.
  • The game would hopefully be free if I could manage it.
  • Criticism is 110% appreciated, if you happen to have it from such a sparse description. I won't know how to improve otherwise. If I ever made it far enough, I'd also probably want, like, beta readers and such.
Fun Notes--
  • A fun fact for each major character: Lynne is an accounting major and she loves math and numbers. Jay listens to podcasts almost religiously and often gets in trouble during work hours for it. Clara--while kinda portrayed as a reader--actually only reads the exact same book at Buy Gones everyday about 1920's movie stars. Boro and Jay are as close as brothers, in the sense that Jay annoys the heck out of him. Caroline eats the healthiest out of the main cast due to health issues.
  • Each of the datable characters have a song since I think well to those! Jay's | Clara's | Boro's | Caroline's. They don't make any logical sense, so don't go looking for that. cx
  • Since this game has been rolling around in my noggin for a very long time, it's gone through several changes. Some of the ones I'd like to share are: 1) Sam originally would begin dating Jay if you weren't on Jay's specific route. Jay was also briefly named Nick (making him Nick Gatz if they were to get married). 2) Caroline has actually changed the most over the years since she was the hardest to pin down. 3) By contrast, Jay has changed the least. 4) Lynne has changed from a very flat character to a very defined, if timid one (I hope). 5) The cartel was originally just a vague entity I called the mafia and Buy Gones was set in a very small town.
  • Buy Gones is loosely based on two irl locations both from my hometown. One is a now sadly closed antique shop that I self-proclaimed the only antique shop that doesn't feel "haunted". The other is a super shady gas station that I've lived next to for over a decade that's super decrepit and never has a single customer but is, in fact, still in business. cx It's been a running gag with my family for ever that it's a front for the mob.
  • If I could actually motivate myself to finish it, this would be a realization of a very long-term dream! This story has been on and off in the works for almost a decade in my head and I hope I can finally finish and create something for once. So I'm at least partially making this thread for motivation! Keeping tabs on my project might help me realize how focused I actually am on finishing it. 😊
.
Spoilers
  • Clara's real name is Mary and I might accidentally refer to her as that from time to time as I usually call her that in my head. cx She is obsessed with the 1920's movie star Clara Bow, which is why she wants that nickname. Her mother has schizophrenia and Mary has taken care of her for some time, including while she was a child. This is why she identified so much with Clara Bow. Her father helped her care for her mother during her childhood, until he abruptly left Muriel in Mary's care on her 18th birthday. Unfortunately, that means that left her open to being manipulated into becoming a spy for the cartel. She hangs out at Buy Gones to gather information to pass on to them. When she fails to do so, her house is burned down and she's forced to send her mother to a facility. She goes to live with Lynne/the player.
  • All the employees at Buy Gones are still members of the cartel, but they are all working towards ruining it. They plan to turn them into the police, however they all have loved ones still entangled in the cartel they want to take out of the equation before doing so. All four of the datable cast would have to be taken into the witness protection program after doing so.
  • Jay is the son of the head of the cartel. He hates it, but his good relationship with his mother and his sister have kept him from wanting to abandon it completely. He's struggling to overcome perceptions of him to others because of his family, which is why he's such a bubbly character. Whenever Lynne becomes endangered, though, he becomes overly cautious and guilty, which causes quite the rift to form between the two.
  • Boro limps because he was shot as a teenager, attempting to keep his brother from being forced to work for the cartel. In return for keeping his family out of the business, he set up Buy Gones to be a front. His father was a heavy drug user and fell into trouble with the cartel. He chose to hire Lynne because he caused her father's car crash (inadvertently), but couldn't go to the police to report as much for obvious reasons.
  • Caroline is the most spoiler-y and I don't want to ruin her entire route, so this is a bit vague and doesn't go into the actual storyline. Caroline has never been treated like an individual by anyone in the cartel. Her and her brother joined when they were very young and while they used to be close, they are now at odds as Caroline wants to handle this whole situation very differently than him.
  • The store is not actually a front for the organization and is instead a group of people currently working to escape it. While they are all currently successful, all of them still have loved ones tied up in the cartel that they want to remove from the situation before turning the organization into the police.
  • There will likely be a recommended play order, which would be Mary β†’ Jay β†’ Boro β†’ Caroline.
.
Questions!
  • Would you want to play this game?
  • Who would you want to date?
  • For quite some time, this game was planned to have a very short common route and the player would choose a route at the end of day one. However, as I'm writing it, there are quite a few more shared events. Would you prefer a shorter or longer common route? Would you mind choosing a route at the end of day one, but still seeing bits of story you'd see on other routes?
  • How does the idea of the game being free change you're opinion of it?
  • What are your honest thoughts?
  • Some minor spoilers in this question: How do you feel about
    these being unwilling/ex-members of a drug cartel, but escaping any sort of prosecution by the conclusion of the true ending?
.
Progress
╠══════════════════════════════╣
Overall:
planning: 70% | writing: 3% | coding: 2% | art: 0%

╠══════════════════════════════╣
Jay's Route:
planning: 80% | writing: 10% | coding: 10% | art: 0%

╠══════════════════════════════╣
Clara's Route:
planning: 80% | writing: 4% | coding: 3% | art: 0%

╠══════════════════════════════╣
Boro's Route:
planning: 80% | writing: 4% | coding: 3% | art: 0%

╠══════════════════════════════╣
Carolines's Route:
planning: 80% | writing: 5% | coding: 3% | art: 0%
I'm super nervous to post this and if you can see this I can't even believe you've bothered to look at it and read it and anything and I don't know what to tell you I think thank you??
Last edited by tincrumbs on Tue Nov 06, 2018 1:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

Zelan
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Re: Buy Gones [Very Simple Otome] [GxB + GxG]

#2 Post by Zelan » Mon Jul 23, 2018 7:43 pm

Would you want to play this game?: I would! The setting is interesting, and organized crime is always a fun theme to play with for antagonists.
Who would you want to date?: Caroline is my favorite so far, but I don't dislike any of the romance options.
For quite some time, this game was planned to have a very short common route and the player would choose a route at the end of day one. However, as I'm writing it, there are quite a few more shared events. Would you prefer a shorter or longer common route? Would you mind choosing a route at the end of day one, but still seeing bits of story you'd see on other routes?: My advice is to stop thinking of your story as divided into "the common route" and "the character routes." Trying to make a perfectly clean split between the two will probably make the story feel rushed or awkwardly paced. Put the scenes where they seem to fit best - and if that means that there are some scenes shared between routes, that's perfectly fine. c:
How does the idea of the game being free change you're opinion of it?: I have higher expectations for paid games, but even still, I prefer my free games to be of decent quality, since I am spending my time on them. Smaller details, though, are more forgivable in free games, as are free games that are a little rough around the edges.
What are your honest thoughts?: I'm not sure how to answer this besides what I've said already - was there anything else you wanted to know?

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