Bagaturi [GxB][Otome][Fantasy/Adventure/Mystery]

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Gery
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Bagaturi [GxB][Otome][Fantasy/Adventure/Mystery]

#1 Post by Gery » Tue Jul 16, 2019 8:58 am

Hello everyone! I'm working on a visual novel and decided to start posting stuff here to motivate myself to work faster :) Throughout my life I've lived in 4 different countries so I always related to stories about people dealing with culture and language barriers. I wanted to create a story that can touch on the ability of a person to adapt to a new environment, but also explore how the wish of "starting a new life somewhere else" can be just as challenging and emotionally taxing as dealing with our past.

About Me: I am a professional illustrator based in London at the moment. I'll be responsible for the character sprites and the draft version of the story.

Any feedback or comments will be highly appreciated :)

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Image
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LOGO: Bagaturi (Coming soon)
GENRE: Fantasy/Adventure/Mystery/Otome
“Bagatur” is a historical honorific title, in origin a term for "hero" or "valiant warrior", used in certain Asian and Slavic countries. “Bagaturi” is the plural form.



PLOT SYNOPSIS

Abigail Blest is an ex-alchemist - a disgrace to one of the most prestigious schools for Magical Arts and outcast from the Wizarding Society in Britain. Something she “accidentally” forgot to mention to her new employer, the Bagaturs (aka.Heroes) Guild, when they recruited her as their medic.
Not exactly what she had in mind when she picked the opposite end of the continent as her final destination, but teaming up with some reckless, aggression-prone Eastern Europeans was at least going to provide her with plenty of experience if she was to begin her new life as a professional healer.

As Abigail is led into a world of Slavic magic, crime syndicates, creatures from unfamiliar folklore and Balkan food culture, keeping her past a secret and her rampant alchemist abilities in check might prove more difficult and more costly than she imagined.


CHARACTERS:

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Abigail Blest

Age:25
Nationality: English
Occupation/Guild: Healer / Bagatur intern, (ex-Alchemist)
Favourite weapon: itching powder or any weird concoction she can throw at people’s faces. English slang for extra confusion.

Abigail Blest, the primary protagonist of the story, is a mediocre healer in training and the newest member of the Bagaturs Guild. A far cry from her previous position as one of the most talented and promising Alchemists on the British Isle. Nevertheless, she’s determined to prove herself useful and fit in a place where nobody seems to understand the meaning of the word “queuing” …



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Bayan Batilov

Age:28
Nationality: Bulgarian
Occupation/Guild: Bagatur
Favourite weapon: Short Sword

Bayan is a member of the Bagaturs guild and the leader of Abigail’s party. He is highly skilled with the short sword, fond of fast horses and enthusiastic about taking on cases everybody else tries to avoid. Despite his energetic and amiable personality, Bayan harbors an intense resentment towards the city’s mafia syndicates and can be downright sadistic and brutal when dealing with anyone who dares hurt his teammates.


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Iskra Aleksandrova
Age:29
Nationality: Bulgarian
Occupation/Guild: Bagatur
Favourite weapon: Hand to hand combat

As the oldest and most level-headed member of the team, Iskra often takes it upon herself to kick the shit out of any criminal she lands her eyes on. Despite refusing to use any weapons or magic, opting for disarming her targets with her bare hands, she’s still regarded as one of the most dependable, pragmatic and devoted Bagaturs. A perfect façade to hide a dangerous curse in the form of a golden scale.


[VISUAL IN PROGRESS]

Mihail (Misho) Fidanov
Age:19
Nationality: Bulgarian
Occupation/Guild: Bagatur (apprentice)
Favourite weapon: Stick

Misho is an apprentice Bagatur and one of the most controversial members of the guild due to his gypsy origins and criminal past. He seems to have a general dislike towards authority to the annoyance of most of his colleagues. But with his acrobatic abilities, unconventional thinking and dedication to beating bad guys up with a stick, Misho has gained the respect and thrust of his teammates.


[VISUAL IN PROGRESS]

Jacob Smith
Age:28
Nationality: American
Occupation/Guild: Writer
Favourite weapon: Bow, Gun

Jacob is an American tourist who journeys across the “dodgy” parts of Europe in search of adventure and inspiration for his books. He’s an expert in overcoming cultural and language barriers with his infectious positivism, genuine curiosity and master-level skills in elaborate hand-gesturing. Despite his innocent career choice, there’s something that worries Jacob enough to risk smuggling an illegal gun through the old continent’s borders. Is he running from something or is he chasing it?


[VISUAL IN PROGRESS]

Korbin Muhlenberg
Age:27
Nationality: German
Occupation/Guild: Sheptun
Favourite weapon: Spellcasting

An assistant teacher in Varna Institute of Magical Studies, Korbin is a German immigrant with a tragic past and distrust towards non-magicians. Being a member of the Sheptun Guild, also known as the whispering spell-casters, he rarely raises his voice, but that doesn't make him or his spells any less dangerous. His most treasured and, yet, hated possession is his pure black cloak – a rare artefact that allows him to shape shift into a raven.


SETTING

Alternative history, where magic plays an important role on how the world has developed. The Main setting is Varna – a Bulgarian city on the coast of the Black Sea –far away from mountains and forests or any other major sources of magic. Its citizens have enjoyed a semi-peaceful existence, focusing on fishing, sea trade, tourism during the summer season and avoiding the mafia syndicates who “secretly” run the whole city.
BAGATURS GUILD: One of the Law Enforcement Units, specialising in dealing with hostile magical creatures, spirits, rogue magicians and misuse of magically imbued items and artefacts.


FEATURES:

⦁ Many expressions, poses and CGs
⦁ 3 characters to befriend
⦁ 2 love interests
⦁ One linear path for the plot, but with several branches in terms of relationships and friendships + additional ending scenes based on your decisions and relationship development.

For Instance, there is a scene where you must choose who you want to accompany during a mission, resulting in a different story for the majority of this chapter. Depending on your choice, certain scenes in the middle and end will be affected, as you find out more about some characters and also different aspects about Abigail. Your choice will also affect which character will be more willing to have conversations with you or even rush to your help. In some cases, you can learn a skill through your choice and have it available as an option in future chapters.

PLAYER’S GOALS:
  • It is up to you to decide how well Abigail is able to adapt to her new life and how she deals with culture and language barriers.
  • There are 5 supporting characters (2 romanceable and 3 to befriend), who you want to get closer to and who to thrust is up to you. Each character helps Abigail deal with a different trauma of her past.
  • The first game involves a mystery that you can solve by yourself by gathering clues or you can let your new colleagues figure it out.

That's all for now. The moment I'm able to update more often I'll move this post to "Work in Progress". Thank you for taking your time to read this!
This is my first time posting a new topic on this forum, if I'm doing something wrong please kindly let me know.
Last edited by Gery on Thu Aug 01, 2019 1:09 pm, edited 13 times in total.

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Re: Bagaturi [GxB][Otome][Fantasy/Adventure/Mystery]

#2 Post by Gery » Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:24 am

Hello again! Experimenting with Iskra's look. I'm actually thinking of keeping the first one because it fits the character's personality better, even if most of the guys around me prefer the second one. I think Iskra 2 looks too serious and sexy, not exactly what I'm going for.

Image

UPDATE: 29.07.2019
Here is another work in progress for Iskra :D Plus, some notes for what is left to be done. And yes, don't mind the impossibly thin waist, I'll fix it XD

Image
Last edited by Gery on Mon Jul 29, 2019 4:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Bagaturi [GxB][Otome][Fantasy/Adventure/Mystery]

#3 Post by fleet » Fri Jul 19, 2019 1:21 pm

I like the art. Did you know you can edit your posts to add new content (rather than making a new post)?
All of my VNs are at http://wolflore.net
Some are at http://www.the-new-lagoon.com. NSFW
Poorly done hand-drawn art is still poorly done art. Be a Poser (or better yet, use DAZ Studio 3D) - dare to be different.

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Re: Bagaturi [GxB][Otome][Fantasy/Adventure/Mystery]

#4 Post by caligocactus » Tue Jul 23, 2019 9:51 pm

Okay, your art is stunning! As someone who loves to travel and has foreign family, language barriers have been a huuuge part of my life. I love the idea of a linear path where you still feel like you're affecting the story in a way. The characters sound unique and well rounded, I'm very excited to see them all come to life in your art too.

Can't wait to see more updates!!

p.s. I like the less serious expression better for her too. c:

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Re: Bagaturi [GxB][Otome][Fantasy/Adventure/Mystery]

#5 Post by Scribbles » Wed Jul 24, 2019 10:38 am

I really like the art for this! I can't wait to see it in further development! I usually only post a comment in my posts when I've made a good bit of progress or something big happens (Like it's out on steam or something) and then I just update the OP constantly
Image - Image -Image

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Re: Bagaturi [GxB][Otome][Fantasy/Adventure/Mystery]

#6 Post by papillon » Sun Jul 28, 2019 6:41 pm

Nice art style! Are you the artist?

I'm not sure where you're seeing a rule about updating only every two months. The general rules say only
* Do not double-post (do not post twice in a row in the same thread, unless you have significant new information)
* Do not "bump" threads unless you have something new to contribute
Nobody's going to have a problem with you making a new post if you have big new developments. If you're just making small updates on the art in the first post, that can be done by editing the first post and shouldn't be a whole bunch of posts by you in a row.

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Re: Bagaturi [GxB][Otome][Fantasy/Adventure/Mystery]

#7 Post by Gery » Mon Jul 29, 2019 4:05 pm

First of all, thank you to all who have replied to my question! Your advice was really helpful and your comments made my week and inspired me to work faster :D
fleet wrote:
Fri Jul 19, 2019 1:21 pm
I like the art. Did you know you can edit your posts to add new content (rather than making a new post)?
Thank you so much! Yes, I knew that, yet, I wondered if I just kept editing the existing post whether people would know that thread is still active. I think I would follow papillon's and Scribbles's advice - "edit" for small progress updates, and "new post" for major ones :) But thank you for your suggestion, fleet!
caligocactus wrote:
Tue Jul 23, 2019 9:51 pm
Okay, your art is stunning! As someone who loves to travel and has foreign family, language barriers have been a huuuge part of my life. I love the idea of a linear path where you still feel like you're affecting the story in a way. The characters sound unique and well rounded, I'm very excited to see them all come to life in your art too.

Can't wait to see more updates!!

p.s. I like the less serious expression better for her too. c:
I'm super-duper glad you like it, caligocactus! I hope you'll enjoy it and relate to the main character in a way XD

PS: And welcome to the forum!
Scribbles wrote:
Wed Jul 24, 2019 10:38 am
I really like the art for this! I can't wait to see it in further development! I usually only post a comment in my posts when I've made a good bit of progress or something big happens (Like it's out on steam or something) and then I just update the OP constantly
Thanks a bunch, Scribbles! And thank you for the advice, it's really helpful and something I'll implement right away :)
papillon wrote:
Sun Jul 28, 2019 6:41 pm
Nice art style! Are you the artist?

I'm not sure where you're seeing a rule about updating only every two months. The general rules say only
* Do not double-post (do not post twice in a row in the same thread, unless you have significant new information)
* Do not "bump" threads unless you have something new to contribute
Nobody's going to have a problem with you making a new post if you have big new developments. If you're just making small updates on the art in the first post, that can be done by editing the first post and shouldn't be a whole bunch of posts by you in a row.
You know, the moment you asked me the question, I completely forgot where I read it. But I used to see it almost every time I visited the forum. XD I really love your and Scribble's advice! I like that if I keep editing existing posts, even with small progress reports, it still shows the project is active for anyone who checks on it. But once I have a finished design or other major progress, I'll do a New Post, as you two suggested!

And Yes, I'm the artist X) Thank you for the lovely comments!

_________________________________

And since i've been quite busy with work (and preparing to move to yet another country in September) I wasn't really able to finish Iskra's design, but I'm almost there! :wink: I'll be editing the second post with the new progress update in a minute! Have a wonderful day all of you, and thank you once again for your comments!

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Re: Bagaturi [GxB][Otome][Fantasy/Adventure/Mystery]

#8 Post by Gery » Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:33 am

Image

Hi everyone,

Iskra is finally finished :)

Not sure if anyone would be interested, but here's a bit of info about the costumes of the female characters.
Many of the traditional costumes on the Balkans (Greece, Serbia, Bulgaria, Macedonia, part of Turkey, etc.) are quite colourful, detailed and differ from region to region. Back in the days, every town and even village had its own unique designs and you could tell where a person was from just by looking at their clothes. However, since the main setting of the game is a seaside town called Varna, the uniforms, especially the female ones are kind of inspired by the local costumes (which are far from my favourites, to be honest...oh well):

http://galateabg.net/clients/172/files/ ... VAK-M6.jpg
http://www.fashion-lifestyle.bg/images/ ... broi53.jpg
Favourite:https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/519180663288936510/


I kept some elements and kind of did whatever I wanted with the rest. The civilians' clothes would follow the more traditional look, but I thought that since the Bagaturs/Heroes job tends to be dangerous and messy they probably damage their uniforms quite easily. Therefore, keep them simple (and easy to draw for the CGs). Speaking of CGs, it's very likely I will include costumes from other countries as well, such as the neighbouring Romania, but also Russia, Poland and others, to reflect on the current demographic of the town.

Anyways, three more characters left, and a few chapters of the Story draft. Is there a character you would like me to draw first? (out of Mihail the gypsy, Jacob- the American tourist and Korbin- the German magician) If not (or more likely - nobody replies), I'll just pick one.

I've also been going through the "I'm a writer" thread and I feel so happy that this forum exists!

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Re: Bagaturi [GxB][Otome][Fantasy/Adventure/Mystery]

#9 Post by sunny » Thu Aug 01, 2019 8:50 pm

Hey hey!

So first off WOW jeez your art omg, it's so beautiful. <3 Are you self taught? I love the colours and how you use them to express the personality of your characters!

I know you asked for some advice but honestly, I think you're doing everything well! I've lived in 4 different countries myself so the setting is very relatable, with the main character trying to adjust to the environment and new culture. I'm very curious as to how you'll be implementing the changes. :)

A question that kept bothering me as I read was: why is Abigail an outcast? I think it would be best to include some background on that, unless it's something you want the readers to discover as they play. I only mention this so that the reader can get a hint as to what kind of trouble she got into, so they can form an opinion on her character without it being too much of a surprise later on. Like, when I read that, I assumed she broke a rule, but I also wondered if it was something worse like murder. Basically, an indication of how "bad" her actions were would be helpful in making the readers sympathize with her right away or gain sympathy through the story. Just a suggestion tho! I'm sure you have your reasons for omitting info.

I was also wondering why Abigail chose to go from Britain to Bulgaria, as there was nothing to really explain that move. What made her pick Bulgaria out of all the other European countries? Unless this info is also being omitted for a reason, I'd maybe expand upon her decision a bit.

Lastlyyyy you could include some questions at the end to give people an idea as to what kind of feedback you're looking for as well (the opposite of my problem :lol:).

All in all, I really like the world you've built here and it's not often a story revolves around cultural adjustment, so that's refreshing! I hope I was of some help but I really do mean it when I say you're doing everything well, there wasn't much missing and the premise definitely captured my interest! Looking forward to your future updates, and to answer your latest question, I'm interested in seeing Mihail's design! :)

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Re: Bagaturi [GxB][Otome][Fantasy/Adventure/Mystery]

#10 Post by Gery » Fri Aug 02, 2019 8:25 am

Hey back at ya! ;)
The Art
:oops: stop making me blush! XD Yes, I studied Business, but I always drew so I ended up working as a designer and never could imagine myself doing anything else.
I've lived in 4 different countries myself
No way!! That's pretty awesome, I hope I'll be able to do the concept justice.
A question that kept bothering me as I read was: why is Abigail an outcast? I
That's a very good question! Here are 2 points of the answer: XD

1. On one hand, it's a mystery that slowly gets revealed. It's something that has traumatized the MC and she's trying to put it behind her. Therefore, we don't know much at the beginning since she's not thinking about it. That's why when you're playing the "3 friendship routes", you'll be filled in as you go. And depending on the friend, there'll be 3 different aspects of herself Abigail will have to face. Whether it's the anger towards the people that allowed this thing to happen, the feeling of ostracization and abandonment, or the feeling of shame, self-loathing and helplessness. Each of the friends deals with a similar problem in their own life, so by playing their route and pointing out their mistakes, it helps her to accept and deal with her own feelings.

2. One of the reasons is actually going to be revealed in the very first chapter. Her magic has become corrupt. Depending on the magical craft corruption reveals itself in different forms. For mages that use magic to enhance objects and their physical power, the corruption turns them into monsters, it changes their structure to an irreversible point and their greed for power twists their minds. For some spellcaster that use their voice to influence the physics of the world around them, corruption can manifest in turning even their normal sentences into spells. As an Alchemist, Abigail is able to exchange one material for another, which requires a great deal of meditation, visualization and concentration. Her corruption interrupts the process, by stopping midway and turning the material into pure energy(magic) and bursting into fire. The first chapter will also give a glimpse of how damaging her corruption can be, later on, we'll get an idea of what the consequences were for her and her family, but the real tragedy and the biggest reason why she's an outcast and running away is revealed around the end of the Second Act (out of 3). It's the one thing she was avoiding thinking about the whole time.
when I read that, I assumed she broke a rule, but I also wondered if it was something worse like murder. Basically, an indication of how "bad" her actions were would be helpful in making the readers sympathize with her right away or gain sympathy through the story.
I agree with you, I was really uncertain how secretive I should be about this part. As you said, I want people to assume that it's something small, like breaking a rule. After the 1st chapter, I want people to think that the corruption was the reason and leave it at that. But as you go you get hints of what actually happened (not flashbacks, but hints based on how she reacts in certain situations and you can tell that the story is not that simple). Until the moment she's truly challenged from within and her insecurities and past catch up to her.
I was also wondering why Abigail chose to go from Britain to Bulgaria, as there was nothing to really explain that move. What made her pick Bulgaria out of all the other European countries? Unless this info is also being omitted for a reason, I'd maybe expand upon her decision a bit.
Another excellent question, that I'll be honest, will have a harder time answering. Apart from the obvious reason (I'm Bulgarian, wanted to do something set in the Balkans, since we don't see this region explored in the entertainment industry, I'm about to move back to Bulgaria after spending half of my life leaving abroad and I myself feel cultural and language barriers there and find them hilarious, etc.) there are a few minor reasons that are not completely well-thought-out, but I'm glad you're pointing them out to me!

1. Even if the setting is a fantasy one, the economy, politics, demography etc. is based on our current reality. Meaning, Bulgaria is the furthest country away from Britain, but still in the European Union that allows her to study and work without permits or visas. (For now, who knows what will happen after Brexit...) . Why did she pick the country with the most distance is something related to the actual incident that resulted in her expulsion.

2. This is something I'm still exploring, but I want her to have some connection with a Bulgarian person before she decides to move there. A maid for example, or a classmate that she was particularly close to. It will give her a reason to study the language (since alchemists are required to have enviable memory and concentration, learning things is much faster for them). You're right, it does feel a bit random, but I'm hoping to find a good enough justification. If she already knows a bit of the language and is already curious about the country (in addition to wanting to put as much distance as possible between her and London), I want it to feel like a natural, logical choice.
Lastlyyyy you could include some questions at the end to give people an idea as to what kind of feedback you're looking for as well (the opposite of my problem :lol:).
You're absolutely right!! :lol:

You are more helpful than you can imagine! It's great to hear feedback and questions people might have about your story-building, and since this is something I feel personally connected to, it's hard to predict how others will feel about it. I'm still worried the setting is a big unknown for many people, and unlike locations such as Russia, France, Japan, America, etc. a small Eastern European country might seem a very random and niche setting. Oh well, I'm hoping the rest will compensate. :lol:

Mihail it is! :D

Thank you Sunny!

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Re: Bagaturi [GxB][Otome][Fantasy/Adventure/Mystery]

#11 Post by sunny » Wed Aug 21, 2019 12:56 pm

First off I'm very very sorry for the super late response, I'm in the middle of moving to a new place. :(
1. On one hand, it's a mystery that slowly gets revealed. 2. One of the reasons is actually going to be revealed in the very first chapter.
I see! I get it now, it'll be super helpful to have that background info right away in the first chapter. I really love the idea of separating her trauma into three routes, so that people can be motivated to do the other routes for all the details. I think it would be super cool if an extra chapter got unlocked after the reader finishes all the routes, to wrap everything up nicely and reward them with a sense of completion, but that's just an idea!
Another excellent question, that I'll be honest, will have a harder time answering.
The geographical reason makes a lot of sense actually, so as a reader I'd be satisfied with her reason to just get as far away as possible. As for the connection, it could be anything! A maid or a classmate as you mentioned, or even a tourism ad in the midst of her panicking. :lol:
I'm still worried the setting is a big unknown for many people, and unlike locations such as Russia, France, Japan, America, etc. a small Eastern European country might seem a very random and niche setting.
Tbh, I think this could work in your favour! I doubt there are any VN's out there in English that have an Eastern European setting, so you could really get creative with it and pretty much set the standard for any future VN's in that niche. Imo, it's refreshing to see and learn about a new country too, and it'll differentiate you from others in the same genre. Be a trailblazer!!!

No problem! It was my pleasure. <3

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Re: Bagaturi [GxB][Otome][Fantasy/Adventure/Mystery]

#12 Post by sunasrose » Sun Aug 25, 2019 9:41 pm

Wow, I'm so excited for this! I hope you don't mind me saying that the art looks like something from a Disney movie! Stunning! I lived in Eastern Europe for several years so I am very thrilled to see this setting in a VN. This setting is something not typical to VNs and I think that really helps yours stand out better. Good luck, and I look forward to seeing this once it's completed!
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