Eternity's End (Demo inside!)

[LordIllidan]

Whee, my first visual novel~ I'm very proud of this, I think this is the farthest I've ever gotten in making my own computer game of any sort.

The story:
Kakana is a world apart from ours, where magic is in abundance and things are good.

Mostly good.

Enter Fenrir Flameseeker, a Demon Hunter who was chosen to be the "Legendary Warrior" - A fighter who is bestowed the only weapons with the power to hurt the Demon King - fresh out of training. After an unfortunate accident on his first mission, though, he was nearly killed by the Demon King himself.

He was luckily rescued by the Royal Family, and now runs a mercenary service from the castle.

Of course, Legendary Warrior or not, Fenrir is still a teenager, and has his own pleasures and hobbies - Playing video games, going out on dates with his girlfriend, polishing his gun - And his own problems.

Some of which, as you'd expect, are a bit more complicated than the average teen's.

The Characters:

Fenrir: A simple guy who's been dragged into more than his fair share of not-so-simple things. He enjoys video games, fighting stupidity on the interwebs, and thinking of himself as a hopeless romantic.

Silica: The oldest of the two Princesses. She's a sweet, kind girl who always does her best to make everyone happy. She tends to go on jobs with Fenrir to support him both emotionally and through healing spells, although she has proven herself good with a sword if it is necessary for self-defense. She often helps her parents resolve political issues, so often to the point where the leaders of other countries are used to her showing up to the occasional meeting alone.

Dimona: Silica's younger sister, and one of Kakana's best ninjas. She's famous amongst the other ninjas as being so good at stealth, she can wear a bright pink dress during an infiltration mission and never get caught. She's a very carefree girl who loves pranking people and adding grotesque amounts of sugar to everything she eats.

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Yes, this is a very silly concept that I think I take a little too seriously, so it kind of feels a little scattered to me sometimes. Any feedback on the matter would be really appreciated.

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Thanks to Tivicus, MartianFightingMachine, and FunnyBrunette for the BG's.

[dstarsboy]

Wow, this is a demo? I played for half an hour (all of the free time I had) and I think I'm only half way. How long is this demo?

My thoughts are:
I like the script, it's well written, although, I'm only halfway through. I think the art is basic but cute. The bgs are fitting.

I had trouble getting used to the text changing from the top of the screen to the bottom and the screen dimming and undimming all of the time. I know you were trying to separate dialog from thought and that was a pretty clever way to do it but it was a little too unconventional for me. Also, there was some times when the thought/event text appeared in the middle of the screen for a large about of scenes... were these special thoughts? If so, I guess that would make sense.

All in all, not bad, I'm going to continue to play when I get more free time.

[LordIllidan]

Wow, this is a demo? I played for half an hour (all of the free time I had) and I think I'm only half way. How long is this demo?

It's only about three chapters, two of which I personally thought were waay too short.

Wow, was it really that long? XD

My thoughts are:
I like the script, it's well written, although, I'm only halfway through. I think the art is basic but cute. The bgs are fitting.

I had trouble getting used to the text changing from the top of the screen to the bottom and the screen dimming and undimming all of the time. I know you were trying to separate dialog from thought and that was a pretty clever way to do it but it was a little too unconventional for me. Also, there was some times when the thought/event text appeared in the middle of the screen for a large about of scenes... were these special thoughts? If so, I guess that would make sense.

All in all, not bad, I'm going to continue to play when I get more free time.

Thanks for the input!

I didn't realize switching nvl mode on and off so much would make it that hard to read (Although, now that I've put it that way, I guess it should have been obvious...). I'll have to experiment with this a bit. Perhaps making all of the narration centered like the "Special thoughts" you mentioned?

Anyway, thanks for playing, I'm glad you enjoyed it so far

[dstarsboy]

I'm a slow reader.

[azureXtwilight]

I really love the explaining part XD
It's really nice to have such things, so I won't get lost.
Still no music?

[LordIllidan]

I really love the explaining part XD
It's really nice to have such things, so I won't get lost.
Still no music?

Thanks.

I'm still trying to decide what I'm going to do with the music. I have a brand new pendant ocarina that I'd really like to use for such a thing (Especially since one of the characters owns one, as well XD), but...

a) My song composing skills are a bit... Lacking
b) My ocarina is so high pitched it hurts my poor little microphone's ears. XD

[Alphonse]

A simple guy who's been dragged into more than his fair share of not-so-simple things. He enjoys video games, fighting stupidity on the interwebs, and thinking of himself as a hopeless romantic.

For some reason, I think you were describing yourself here. If I'm wrong, forgive me, but as a lesson to all, don't self-insert! Remember to distance yourself from the main character. That way, reality will be less bent in their favor. That's what I learned.

[LordIllidan]

A simple guy who's been dragged into more than his fair share of not-so-simple things. He enjoys video games, fighting stupidity on the interwebs, and thinking of himself as a hopeless romantic.

For some reason, I think you were describing yourself here. If I'm wrong, forgive me, but as a lesson to all, don't self-insert! Remember to distance yourself from the main character. That way, reality will be less bent in their favor. That's what I learned.

Thanks for the heads up. XD

I don't think he's that similar to me, though. For example, I tend to be too tired to fight THE EVIL ARMY OF INTERWEB TROLLS.

I suppose a bit of me does bleed into him more than the other characters, but I choose to feign ignorance about it and blame it on think it's just because I was trying to pin him as the average teenager (Well, as average as male teens get. XD) personality-wise, which is pretty much what I am? XD

In any case, thanks for the warning, I'll be watching him to make sure he doesn't act too much like me. XD

[Aleema]

lol, with a name like Fenrir Flameseeker, I wasn't expecting him to like "video games" and go on the "internet." xD

Also: Kakana is fun to say