Unrealistic Scenario :: [ WIP ]

Ideas and games that are not yet publicly in production. This forum also contains the pre-2012 archives of the Works in Progress forum.
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xseraphiim
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Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2010 8:21 pm
Projects: Unrealistic Scenario II :: B.R.B.
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Unrealistic Scenario :: [ WIP ]

#1 Post by xseraphiim »

Image

Premise ::
Imagine a world where people judge you just because of how you look and act in society.
Now imagine one where they take the above to the extremes.
Reason? They want a society of ideals. People who do not fit in do not belong.
Those who don't belong is considered an 'Antithesis'.

In a world of magical girls, gun-toting psychos, mecha, zombies, and rampaging kaiju monsters all in one city...

Welcome to Unrealistic Scenario.

Part 2 of what is planned to be in different forms. AKA :: US II :: B.R.B. A Kinetic Novel
The first part is a webcomic [ Character Depth ]that has yet to be finished.

Download @ ::
http://xseraphiim.deviantart.com/art/US ... -175578880

Progress ::
The game contains 193 screens of dialogue.
These screens contain a total of 2337 words,
for an average of 12.1 words per screen.
The game contains 0 menus.

Script - Somewhat Finished, but still editing.
CGs - Unfinished
BGM - 0% [ a few tracks will be used, still in progress ]

Apparently, there will be no sprites as more emphasis will be put onto the CGs and the story itself.
Last edited by xseraphiim on Tue Aug 24, 2010 9:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PyTom
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Re: Unrealistic Scenario :: [ WIP ]

#2 Post by PyTom »

So, I downloaded and played through the demo you have up.

I began to like the way the game was going, with the idea of a depicting an ex-magical girl in a fairly dark world, where rivals can get to her. By the end, I was getting interested in what was going on.

Unfortunately, that end came way too early. Comparing the numbers you gave above to those in the demo, it seems like this is intended to be a finished game - but it doesn't feel like one, but rather the prologue to one. I'd suggest maybe pairing this with something else before release.

It felt like {w} was overused. Breaks below the paragraph level make reading more difficult, so they should be used sparingly, I think - to prevent people from reading ahead to a revelation of some sort. But here, they were in a lot of places, used like commas - I don't think that worked very well for me.

There were a couple of other bugs - an nvl-mode overflow that made me miss some dialogue, and an extraneous right-brace (}).

Whereas our usual advice to a new creator is to scale things down and pick a less ambitious project, I'd suggest that you try the opposite. Go for a more ambitious story, with a beginning, middle, and end - and release it all at once, so people don't feel let down in the middle.
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xseraphiim
Newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2010 8:21 pm
Projects: Unrealistic Scenario II :: B.R.B.
Location: Everywhere.
Contact:

Re: Unrealistic Scenario :: [ WIP ]

#3 Post by xseraphiim »

PyTom wrote:So, I downloaded and played through the demo you have up.

I began to like the way the game was going, with the idea of a depicting an ex-magical girl in a fairly dark world, where rivals can get to her. By the end, I was getting interested in what was going on.

Unfortunately, that end came way too early. Comparing the numbers you gave above to those in the demo, it seems like this is intended to be a finished game - but it doesn't feel like one, but rather the prologue to one. I'd suggest maybe pairing this with something else before release.

It felt like {w} was overused. Breaks below the paragraph level make reading more difficult, so they should be used sparingly, I think - to prevent people from reading ahead to a revelation of some sort. But here, they were in a lot of places, used like commas - I don't think that worked very well for me.

There were a couple of other bugs - an nvl-mode overflow that made me miss some dialogue, and an extraneous right-brace (}).

Whereas our usual advice to a new creator is to scale things down and pick a less ambitious project, I'd suggest that you try the opposite. Go for a more ambitious story, with a beginning, middle, and end - and release it all at once, so people don't feel let down in the middle.
I see. I do understand that it is released a bit too early, but that's mainly because I wanted to get that part over it a long time ago when I came up with the ideas [ big mistake on my part, in my opinion ]. And I acknowedge the fact that it is incomplete and that is is my first time using Ren'Py as a whole. It's still meant to be on beta until I get its first part done. For what I've planned so far, all the other parts to the project will be in different mediums.

Anyways, thank you for your opinion on this. I hope that I can imporve more in the future~

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