Sweet Sixteen [Back in Action!]

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Nellie
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Sweet Sixteen [Back in Action!]

#1 Post by Nellie » Sat Nov 06, 2010 8:22 pm

EDIT 23/05/2011:
Game is back in action! I'd like to give a warm welcome to Sasuya who will be joining the project as the main coder!


After playing around with ren'py for a while, I thought I'd like to give VN a try! As I'm still a newbie, I won't be putting in too many (possibly none at all) customizations, functions, or even mini-games. **forgive me!** There will now be customizations!! Yay XD

Sweet Sixteen
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Meet tomboyish Ami and her womanizer twin brother Akki.

Version: Girl
Ami is brilliant, strong and reliable – the girls love her, and the boys respect her. She loves being with her girl friends, and never had any worries about getting a boyfriend… Until she fell in love with a guy. Who is in love with her best friend.

Version: Boy
Akki is the top student who excels in every aspect. He is constantly seen with different girls, but denies having a girlfriend. He is modest and friendly, even the guys who envy him can’t hate him. However, he has a dark secret – he’s a siscon.
Maybe in the distant future.

Edit 07/11/2010:
Brief history
10 years ago, Ami met a brave young boy who saved her from a group of bullies. They spent a few days together before Ami and her mother moved to another town. They exchanged can lids as ring substitutes before parting ways, as tokens to remember each other with.

When Ami moved back to the town 8 years later, the only familiar faces in town were that of her father and twin brother's. The can lid became nothing more than a luck charm she carries around.

Then she met Glen, the school's basketball star with striking similarities with the boy from her memory. Unfortunately, he was interested in her best friend.

While getting to know her friends and classmates more, she also realised that Glen was not the only one who could be the boy from her memory. With graduation up soon, she must find the truth as soon as she can, while fighting off interferences from her over loving brother and seemingly lesbian friend.

Will she be able to find out who the boy was?

Or will it nothing more than remnants of memories of a little girl's first love?

You are to guide Ami through the last few months of her high school life. You get to decide if she get to reunite with her first love, find a new love, get dumped, have a reverse harem, turn lesbian or proceed with life as usual.

Features
1. In addition to gaining affection points from potential love interests, you will need to take care to maintain friendship points with the girls.
2. Learn more about each character as you get closer to them - most of them has their own side story.
EDIT 11/07/2010:
3. When friendship point with the girls drop below certain point, they will become your rivals or possibly even enemies.
4. However, if the friendship point reach a certain amount, they will also become your love rivals. (Will not be triggered if affection point with the specific boy is high enough)
5. If a guy's affection point gets too low... You might not like the consequences =P
6. Flexible ending - story changes depending on your choices.

Characters
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Ami, captain of female boxing team. Her future is in your hand.
When she was 5, she was diagnosed with ALL. Despite her loud and outgoing personality, the chemotherapy treatment left her body weak and fragile. Her parents blamed each other and eventually ended up living separately. While secretly going out during one of her hospital stay, she was cornered by a few elder boys. Her little hero saved her, but ended up with a shoulder dislocation and was hospitalised with her
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Lucy, Ami's best friend. Sweet and demure, not in any extra-curricular club. Potential rival for
Glen
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Ruth, Lucy's cousin. She is considered by many the prettiest and the flower of their school. Potential rival for
Ben
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Abby, genius with IQ of 170. Skipped a few grades - seems to be attracted to Ami... Romantically. Potential rival for
Toshi
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Kate, female star of the tennis team. Very competitive towards Ami. Potential rival for
Mark
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Akki, Ami's elder twin brother. Siscon. As much as I like Oreimo, he won't be an 'obtainable guy' xD

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Glen, Ami's first crush. A talented basketballer and skilled martial artist.

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Toshi, the school's top student. Very kind and selfless.

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Mark, a playboy and self-proclaimed rival of Akki. An excellent pick up artist geared with top notch magic skills.

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Jimmy, Kate's younger brother. Haven't written the story/path for him yet. Might exclude him, but who wouldn't love a shota in the list of choices? xD

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Ben, your average boy next door. He seems to collect can lids.

A bit lazy to put up character details of each of them... Will do it if anyone's interested xD Added details xD

**Note: Some of them have much shorter stories comparatively**


EDIT
Some freebies while this project is on hiatus -

And a not-so-happy Ami;
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Chibi sketches;
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Last edited by Nellie on Sun May 22, 2011 12:11 pm, edited 12 times in total.
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Re: Sweet Sixteen [Seeking proof readers]

#2 Post by broken_angel » Sat Nov 06, 2010 9:01 pm

Wow...once again, amazing art. :o

How much of the story do you have done?
If you've got a good portion of it written, you might want to include a brief synopsis in your first post so people know what it's about. C:
EDIT: Oh, I didn't see the brief sentence or two under Ami's description. Still, care to elaborate a little more? xD

And I'm always available to help out with proof-reading and such. ;)
I'll try to do a better job this time. xP

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Re: Sweet Sixteen [Seeking proof readers]

#3 Post by hugolino » Sun Nov 07, 2010 2:09 am

What kind of proof reading do you need exactly? I would be willing to read a script and make notes about incorrect spelling and grammar, if you wish. Those are relative strong points for me. I'm a newcomer to Ren'Py and ren'ai, but I've always been a lover of stories.

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Re: Sweet Sixteen [Seeking proof readers]

#4 Post by Aleema » Sun Nov 07, 2010 4:11 am

A bit lazy to put up character details of each of them... Will do it if anyone's interested xD
Uh, yeah. What do you think this is, the other WIP forum!? :twisted:

I like that the girls aren't nasty rivals for each other, and that they're actual friends (lol, but some rivals are okay, just saying, some that aren't are nice). Seems to me this is first and foremost a friendship simulator -- which is awesome, since I've never played something like that.

Of course, I'm willing to help you in any way, Nellie.

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Re: Sweet Sixteen [Seeking proof readers]

#5 Post by nefferinthia » Sun Nov 07, 2010 6:31 am

You should like, totally make Akki in an obtainable character <3
Your art looks splendid by the way~

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Re: Sweet Sixteen [Seeking proof readers]

#6 Post by Aleema » Sun Nov 07, 2010 6:49 am

He's your BROTHER YOU GUYS ARE SO SICK. xD

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Re: Sweet Sixteen [Seeking proof readers]

#7 Post by mikisweety » Sun Nov 07, 2010 12:14 pm

He's your BROTHER YOU GUYS ARE SO SICK. xD
Um... Aleema... That's why he's hot. :lol:

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Re: Sweet Sixteen [Seeking proof readers]

#8 Post by Aleema » Sun Nov 07, 2010 12:28 pm

Not only that, he's her TWIN. To quote "House of Yes":
"It's like f**king a mirror."
Not that I'm against forbidden love, and I can see why people get off on it, but y'all should respect her wish not to go there. It's pretty heavy.

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Re: Sweet Sixteen [Seeking proof readers]

#9 Post by Nellie » Sun Nov 07, 2010 12:37 pm

@broken_angel
Elaborated a bit more xD Didn't want to initially as I wanted to players to find out while reading, but I guess lil spoilers won't hurt.

I've done Lucy, Glen and Ben's paths, choices and consequences. Have got the others' stories in mind but haven't mapped them down yet. I'd need to think of how to translate them into softcopy (from the scribblings on my notebooks) for now! Thanks again for offering! =D

@hugolino
Especially grammar and sentence structures! However, I'll take no offence to comments how plot holes and how to improve them! xD I'm a newbie to ren'py too... But I'm learning (albeit slowly xD) Thanks for offering, I'll start troubling once I finished typing and sorting the mind maps onto... a suitable program. Most probably Microsoft Word =P

@Aleema
Details added for your highness =P

I'm not really good with fluffy romances, so I'm just adding friendship issues in to spice things up! Shhh... It's a camouflage! Also, I didn't think anyone would be naturally bitchy or nasty... So you need to trigger their negative feelings towards you, to turn them that way xD

I'm currently trying to figure out how to deal with the affection and friendship points having effects on the story line and available choices... If I'm stuck, please do help me! Thanks in advance =D

@Harumi Fujyoshi and mikisweety
Maybe some teases. But no, I can't be held responsible for encouraging incest... I'm too young to go to jail xD


The sprites are bought/commissioned. So no, they're not mine. I calculated - at the speed I can produce a decent quality sprite, it's MUCH more cost effective to buy them. So I'll use the time to work, and still have extra cash after buying these arts!

P/S: I confess... This is much inspired by Harvest Moon!
Image

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Re: Sweet Sixteen [Seeking proof readers]

#10 Post by Erumi-On » Sun Nov 07, 2010 1:03 pm

Aleema wrote:Not only that, he's her TWIN. To quote "House of Yes":
"It's like f**king a mirror."
Not that I'm against forbidden love, and I can see why people get off on it, but y'all should respect her wish not to go there. It's pretty heavy.
I have a twin brother so honestly, I can't understand it at all xD

Anyway, the story looks interesting but for the chara design, Ami looks too pretty for being a tomboy... xD
About the guys, I would totally go for Glen ^v^ but others are handsome too, in their way xD

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Re: Sweet Sixteen [Seeking proof readers]

#11 Post by mysterialize » Sun Nov 07, 2010 4:52 pm

If you think you could use another, I'm always up for proofreading. Also, your art's great, but I think the rest of the people who have commented here have made that perfectly clear. XP

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Re: Sweet Sixteen [Seeking proof readers]

#12 Post by chaiue » Mon Nov 08, 2010 3:07 am

Nice art(not another...) and I would have love to proofread too if you still need one. Hehe, best luck for your game. Ciao!

EDIT: I just noticed Glen looks like the short haired version of the mascot(?) for otomegames.com(just sharing ^_^)

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Re: Sweet Sixteen [Seeking proof readers]

#13 Post by mashiixD » Mon Nov 08, 2010 8:36 pm

wow, i really like your plotline :D i think Ami lives every girl's dream life LOL hey . if you need a proofreader i'm completely up for it ! and as a side note, even though i'm completely against incest, Akki looks like such a cutie ! i guess that makes sense, pretty sister = hottie brother. LOL! anyway i really like your character designs and i can't wait for this to be released xD

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Re: Sweet Sixteen [Seeking proof readers]

#14 Post by Nellie » Tue Nov 09, 2010 5:09 pm

@Erumi-On
I wouldn't exactly call a girl who does boxing a tomboy, eh? XD I was actively involved in martial arts when I was 16 too... Though I hardly win any medals T_T

I wish I have a twin (sister)!! Yay, mirror xD

@mysterialize and chaiue
Thanks! The sprites are bought/commissioned from Blue Forest for copyright-free usage ;)

@mashiixD
I think Ami has a pretty dramatic life! @_@ I would want a simpler life... xD But who'd be interested to read/play the life a normal, typical teenager? We have our owns' to worry about

@All, I probably have enough proof readers... After all, proof readers get to read through the events and dialogues without playing the game... so they can't get to 'play' it. P/S: Girls proof-readers preferred because this is a fluffu fluff fluff story with lots of shoujo/otome cliches to satisfy the otome in every girls ;)

Help advice on the logos? Font and colour scheme especially xD Thanks!
Image

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Re: Sweet Sixteen [Logo advices?]

#15 Post by sake-bento » Tue Nov 09, 2010 5:31 pm

Does this take place in Japan? If it doesn't, I'd suggest avoiding the katakana. Of course, this is coming from the person who named a game set in (faux) Seattle a Japanese name, so I obviously don't think of it as a hard and fast rule. >.>;;

I do like the third one the most, though. I think the little face with the hearts is super cute. And now I know what you mean by can lids! I thought you mean like literal lids cut out with a can opener. I usually call those little things can tabs, but maybe that's just showing my region? ^_^;;

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