WIP- Spoiled Sweet (BXB)

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Lolita_Soft
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WIP- Spoiled Sweet (BXB)

#1 Post by Lolita_Soft »

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Daisuki is the only child of the wealthy Souichiru family and heir to the family business. Growing up extremely well off, Daisuki is used to getting whatever he wants and has become rather spoiled (to put it lightly). But Daisuki will soon learn that not everything will be handed to him on a silver platter. If he wants to find love, he'll have to work for it.


Characters-

Daisuke Harukawa
16
The best way to describe his personality is "Spoiled brat". He tends to be stubborn, selfish and bossy. Aswell, he allso has a bad habbit of being brutley honest and saying whatever he thinks without putting a filter between his brain and his mouth. Because of his way of acting, not many people can stand to be around him. (he's really is quite intelligent)

Obtainable guys-

Mizuki Souma
16
Daisuke's closest (only?) Friend (Despite only recently meeting) and one of the few people who can put up with him. Hes the complete opposite of Daisuki, He's very shy and soft spoken with little self confidence. Mizuki is from a lower-middle class family but manages to go to private school with Daisuke due to scholar ship. He never says much about himself.

Tetsuhiro "Panda" Minamori
17
A somewhat mysterious upper classman. He doesn't talk much and noone seems to know much about him besides the fact that both his parents are doctors. He has a leigon of admirers, both girls and guys. Almost every one knows him as "Panda" (so much that alot of people don't know his real name) due to his odd white hair and black eyes. He has a girlfriend but somthing seems a little...off.

Shouta Hiwari
18
A third year with a reputation of being a ladykiller and a slacker. He'll skip class and not do work in favor of sitting on the roof or playing guitar, despite this, he manages to get good enough grades to barley pass. Shouta is very laid back and carfree. Many people believe he's acctualy very smart but just lazy. Like Daisuke, his parents are big-wigs, so why does he act like this?

Other characters-

Kotoko Sumaragi
17
She's been Tetsuhiro's girlfriend for around a year. She's sweet, cheerful and all-around liked. She has many friends but few close ones. Despite being a model student she is often absent from class...

Rika Hiwari
23
Shouta's older, very successful, sister.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've decided I want to try making a dateing sim on my own... Ahahaha XD;; Just to learn.
I have many other ideas I want to persue, but I thought it would be best to try one without a complicated story so that I don't overwhelm myself. (And there is quite the lack of BL on here XD)
I will be doing this (mostly) on my own useing royalty free music/BGs/ect...
Just wanted to know what everyone thinks of SS~!
Last edited by Lolita_Soft on Sun Dec 19, 2010 6:50 pm, edited 3 times in total.
"Momento Mori."
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Re: WIP- Spoiled Sweet (BXB)

#2 Post by broken_angel »

BL = super mega love. Seriously.
You're right, there really are too few BxB projects on here. >o<

Anyway, I think it sounds good so far. ^^
The obtainable guys fit exactly whthe three general personalities I always try to include, which is a bit amusing. It makes a good mix, though. C:

And who doesn't love it when spoiled brats get wake-up calls? >D

Good luck~

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Re: WIP- Spoiled Sweet (BXB)

#3 Post by Aleema »

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I agree, more BxB plz.

My recommendation: outline a small arc and stick with it. You can blow your game up VERY easily, which is a death sentence to a lot of games. Since I would like to see this finished, take it easy, take pride in what you do, and if in doubt, ask our opinion. :) I don't mind stock, so get to game-makin'~!

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Re: WIP- Spoiled Sweet (BXB)

#4 Post by carosene »

I concur with Aleema, please take her advice.

Also love me some BxB! Good luck, I will definitely be there to play it when it's finished. :D
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Lolita_Soft
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Re: WIP- Spoiled Sweet (BXB)

#5 Post by Lolita_Soft »

[quote="Aleema"]
My recommendation: outline a small arc and stick with it. You can blow your game up VERY easily, which is a death sentence to a lot of games. quote]

I'm not a very good writer (and I'm a total noob ._.) so that tends to be my problem alot. Usualy I come up with a main idea then the characters and their backstorys but then I have the hardest time makeing a story arc that I can incorperate everything into . OTL;; If anyone has any ideas/tips ect. please let me know. XD
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Re: WIP- Spoiled Sweet (BXB)

#6 Post by Megumi »

Oh! The typical school setting! I'll surely play your game if you do it x) (Typical doesn't mean bad, some typical ones can be good x))

Well, usually, when I write, I have a basic idea on how the setting is. In your situation, it's a private school for rich people but you have to have a good idea on how it is inside. Such as are they treated in a privileged ways, are there any case where a middle-class (here being the best friend) student would be treated badly, is the hero young/old/new student, etc.

Then, I think it may be important to set a clear relationship in the beginning. The hero knows who, doesn't know who, how he met him, etc. And how the relationships evolve with the hero hitting on X or Y. (Then, if you want something more complicate or complete, the relationship between all the characters. Since they are all of different age, though, you can easily imagine they are not linked in any way.)

Hmmm... That would be what I work after the character profiles. But I don't really write stories for games é_è I'm more a fanfiction writer though. Anyway, hope I'm helping <3

Well, if you're really in trouble get a writer to help you. (And think of having a proofreader, a 'beta-reader', behind to correct mistakes. And maybe test players to have a first-hand review so you can then try to correct any unhappy comment about some characters or something.)

Still hoping I was of some help &hearts;
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Re: WIP- Spoiled Sweet (BXB)

#7 Post by Nayru »

Wow this looks very promising! I'd love some BxB too, there aren't many around here.

The plot is simple, but quite effective I'm curious about how it will develop. Keep us informed ^_^

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Re: WIP- Spoiled Sweet (BXB)

#8 Post by okonomiyaki »

ummmm, I would really, really advise you change "Daisuki's" first and last names to something that makes more sense in Japanese if you're going to go the Japanese naming route.

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Re: WIP- Spoiled Sweet (BXB)

#9 Post by yu_eriyama »

Lol, yeah, I agree^_^
No one in Japan has name "Daisuki" (from what I read in my dictionary)
Other name with kana similar like "Daisuki" are:
台水 【だいすい】 Daisui (g)
大末 【だいすえ】 Daisue (u)
大裕 【だいすけ】 Daisuke (u)
大典 【だいすけ】 Daisuke (g)
大助子 【だいすけこ】 Daisukeko (f)

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Re: WIP- Spoiled Sweet (BXB)

#10 Post by Lolita_Soft »

yu_eriyama wrote:Lol, yeah, I agree^_^
No one in Japan has name "Daisuki" (from what I read in my dictionary)
Other name with kana similar like "Daisuki" are:
台水 【だいすい】 Daisui (g)
大末 【だいすえ】 Daisue (u)
大裕 【だいすけ】 Daisuke (u)
大典 【だいすけ】 Daisuke (g)
大助子 【だいすけこ】 Daisukeko (f)
Thanks >_< Changed to Daisuke Souichiru
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"Moriendo Renascor."

Please call me Heimi :]

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Re: WIP- Spoiled Sweet (BXB)

#11 Post by okonomiyaki »

"Souichiru" is not a last name. >_> Neither is "Souichirou" if you were going for that, it's a boy's first name. Please research your Japanese before using it...

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Re: WIP- Spoiled Sweet (BXB)

#12 Post by Lolita_Soft »

okonomiyaki wrote:"Souichiru" is not a last name. >_> Neither is "Souichirou" if you were going for that, it's a boy's first name. Please research your Japanese before using it...
Sorry for not being 100% acurate. I DO do my research just so you know -_- I just goofed.
"Momento Mori."
"Moriendo Renascor."

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Re: WIP- Spoiled Sweet (BXB)

#13 Post by yu_eriyama »

okonomiyaki wrote:"Souichiru" is not a last name. >_> Neither is "Souichirou" if you were going for that, it's a boy's first name. Please research your Japanese before using it...
Please don't state someone is not working enough...
It's kind of rude :(

Oh, btw.
It's a bit sad you change Souichirou. I prefer Souichirou more than Harukana (it sounds like female name)
It is true that Souichirou is a male given name, but if you change it to Souichi, example:
操壱 【そういち】 Souichi (u)
想壱 【そういち】 Souichi (u)
庄壱 【そういち】 Souichi (u)
綜市 【そういち】 Souichi (u)
漱一 【そういち】 Souichi (u)
崇一 【そういち】 Souichi (u)
u = person name, as yet unclassified
It may become a surname :D Souichi is sound cool! (I think...)

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Re: WIP- Spoiled Sweet (BXB)

#14 Post by okonomiyaki »

Yu-Eriyama:

If you get it wrong, you aren't researching well enough. It's not rude. "Rudeness" on this forum is hilariously full of crap.

Please stop giving advice to other people on Japanese when you are also incorrect. I know you probably got those from jisho.org, but naming on jisho is not perfect. Souichi is not going to come off to anyone as a proper last name, and it will sound exactly like what it is, which is an EXTREMELY popular first name for a boy.

At the very least, you are correct about "Harukana" being female. OP, I would change that to "Harukawa", which is an easily recognizable last name.

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Re: WIP- Spoiled Sweet (BXB)

#15 Post by Kuroneko »

...
I think that (yes opinion not saying things like IT HAS TO BE OR IT SHOULD BE)
naming characters is completely up to the creator.
There are bizarre anime names out there...
Like Orihara Izaya (his kanji is definitely strange) this man has sisters named Kururi and Mairu (both uncommon and strange), Rokudo Mukuro (some sort of pun), Kido Airaku (an idiom)

In New Zealand (I believe)
there is a child called 4real Superman Wheaton.

In USA (Michigan)
there was Savior God Scientist Allah.

In Japan
we even name people after fruits.

Even I am named after a foreign country.

The thing is, I don't think there is such a thing as right or wrong in name anymore. True it's good to research, but they have.
Lately Japanese people are becoming more creative and naming their kids different things. Perhaps it's an influence from American Stars.
I believe it's one thing to comment on how you "think" it might be wrong. It's another thing to say that it is wrong and to tell them to go do their research. It may come off as rude.

You say that Harukana is a female name, but I have never heard of it used before whether it's female or male. I don't think it's wrong, I just think it's unique. Just like everyone here.

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