Into the Distance (Dark Fantasy BXG) Progress

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Into the Distance (Dark Fantasy BXG) Progress

#1 Post by LondonIvy » Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:25 pm

Working Title: Into the Distance (will be changed)

What I need:

Artists (BG, CG)
Writers
Proofreaders (because I make stupid mistakes all the time)
Beta-testers (Note: needed later in production)

Schedule is flexible and open. You can work at mostly your own pace.

I will do the programming and the main writing, but everyone is welcomed to be as involved as they want. If something I do isn't up-to-par then tell me. I will do my best to fix it. Communication is very important.

Currently Working on the Project:

LondonIvy: Programmer, Writer
yu_eriyama: Sprite and Character Artist, composer
YuukiCrossPudding: Proofreader, writing assistance

The VERY ROUGH story concepts below just so you can get an idea of what this is all about.

If interested either send me a PM or respond to this thread. A sample of your work will be appreciated.

Story:

Adam is strange boy who would rather study psychology than interact with people. His sarcastic, cynical personality pushes people away, especially girls.

One night, while reading about the theory of parallel universes, Adam goes through the mirror and ends up in a strange and violent world full of unusual people. Turns out it's something like his modern world but with fantasy elements (demons, magic, that shizz).

The hero and his choices of females are atypical. Adam is a sarcastic, highly-intelligent and cynical guy who has no interest in the girls and is just trying to survive half-the-time in this strange new land. His predominate goal is to go home and get away from all these people. He is sort of tsundere to most of the girls at first but gradually warms up to them. The girls themselves tend to range from normal to eccentric to off-of-their-rockers.
Setting:

The setting as of now is sketchy, but here is what I have. The world is a parrallel to his own. It is a wild, uninhibited place, which makes him even more inclined to leave, influenced by steampunk with techno music.

The girls corellate to his world. It ties into his interest in psychology. The girls of the cast represent extreme aspects of his personality and wishes (except for Madelyn since she's not of that world). Later in the plot he discovers the reason he is so strongly attracted to certain girls is because they sort of ARE him. He finds that pursuing a certain girl's path actually begins to shift his personality in the direction of whatever that girl represents. This weirds him out, naturally.

Everything is controlled by a Queen who is distant from the world and tends to delegate little matters to her servants. The Queen is extremely powerful. When she wants to create new people, she simply crafts a puppet that later is born as a person. She has ultimate control over people. Even though they SEEM to have control, she has the final say so they can't physically do anything she doesn't want them to do. Some people resent this.

All of this endangers Adam because he is NOT of this world and the Queen can't control him, a fact that angers her.

I'm going heavily for a boy falls into strange Wonderland sort of thing. This project is pretty complicated and is going to take some major writing to do.
Characters:

Lucy: She works as an assassin, a fact that she doesn't bother to keep hidden. She enjoys sexually harassing Adam just to annoy him and loves setting off the tsun side of his personality. She seems to do everything for the lulz, even killing, which she approaches with a smile and a lot of skill. There's a hidden side to her, however, that is slowly revealed later in the route. Turns out she's lonely and feels guilty for all the horrible things she's done in her life and feels Adam is her only chance at redemption. On the other hand, she also had a very dark side and loves causing trouble and chaos whether that be in easily-solved misunderstandings or attempting to tear down the world around her.

Rose: Beautiful and elegant woman with long black hair and wears either a pretty dress or a kimono. She runs a criminal organization she just recently inherited from her father. This same organization hires Lucy as a freelancer, someone Rose hates with a passion. Despite her best efforts to appear calm and collected she is actually a hot-headed mess who can never control her extremely dangerous temper. Her intelligence is sharp and she can often be seen making a biting remark when she's not yelling and throwing a fit. She's plagued by insecurities that the organization she inherited will never accept her and always see her as a weak little girl who got everything from her daddy. It doesn't help that there is rumors of mutiny in the ranks that may or may not be instigated by Lucy...

Madelyn: Madelyn is from Adam's world but arrived long before he did. If this was an otome game Madelyn would be what would happen to the heroine after years of living in an unwelcoming world with pushy people. She appears cold and distant at first but this is actually a cover to her extremely sensitive, caring and sweet nature that she reveals little-by-little to Adam. She admits that she thought this side of her personality had been beaten out of her by the forceful, pushy and semi-abusive men who had always been after her (aka certain otome game boys I won't bother mentioning), but it turns out she just needed the right guy.

EmilyShe is a magician and servant of the Queen, but comes across as a very friendly, open person. She loves people and interacting with them and some would call her personality bright and happy. She loves to smile, even when she's unhappy. However, she has a surprisingly mature and intelligent side that she'll occasionally show.

As the Queen's servant she has certain duties, including insuring that everything runs as the Queen wants it to. She suddenly becomes very serious and focused when she performs them. There are rumors that it is HER magic, not the Queen's, that keeps the people under the Queen's control...

Wears a lot of jewelry and make-up and has an obsession with shiny objects.

Louis Lucy's brother. He is a seemingly easy-going ladies man who harbors a secretive and manipulative side. He pretends to be an idiot in order to make people lower their guard so he can use them. He loves his sister, but her lack of caring for her safety slightly concerns him. Also, he hits on and teases Adam to piss him off (same reason his sister does it except he has no intentions behind it). He is something of a rival for Rose's affection, but he may just be trying to use her. He may have a hand in the mutiny plot mentioned in Rose's summary.

Adam: Highly-intelligent but cynical to the situation he's been placed in. However, a part of him wants to be a typical guy and just go with the flow because, hey, there are worst things than a world where hot chicks push their affections on you. However, he is more often than not annoyed by the constant push of affections by the girls (especially Lucy). His goal is to go home and to get away from this craziness.

Example of the scenarios in the game:

When placed in typical scenarios, atypical things happen. For example, when a girl accidently falls on Adam there is no blushy-blushy. He very calmly tells them to get the hell off of him. If it's Madelyn she pretends to not care to hide her hurt feelings. If it's Lucy she flirts and teases him while saying they might as well do it right there because, hey, the floor's as good a place as any. If Rose then she has typical bishoujo girl rage and threatens to have him assassinated if he doesn't desist assaulting her (something that makes him go WTF? I didn't do anything, you loony woman).

Pictures!!!!!

The brilliant yu_eriyama sent me this preliminary sketch of what Adam will look like. He's quite handsome for a skinny dweeb, haha. Anyway, here's a sample of what more is surely to come.

Image

A sketch of Lucy. Yu_eriyama really did a good job making her look like a sexy badass assassin. And she says she can't draw girls...pfft.

Image

Lucy's sprite:

Image
Last edited by LondonIvy on Sat Feb 19, 2011 1:03 pm, edited 13 times in total.

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Re: Dark Fantasy BXG game: Into the Distance needs a team

#2 Post by Sapphi » Mon Dec 20, 2010 8:42 pm

I love the idea of parallel universes, portals, time-travel, etc. so this sounds pretty interesting to me.
I'm kinda curious to know more about the world in which these characters live. You give lots of descriptions as to their relationships with each other but not really the setting in which they operate.

Also... Being a parallel-universe and all, do these characters have some kind of correlation with people Adam knows from his own universe? I think it would be fascinating to explore the consequences of having a romantic relationship with a mirror-person of someone you knew from your side of reality.
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Re: Dark Fantasy BXG game: Into the Distance needs a team

#3 Post by LondonIvy » Mon Dec 20, 2010 9:02 pm

Now that you mention it, yes they do correlate with his world, actually. It ties into his interest in psychology. Many of the girls represent extreme aspects of his personality and wishes (except for Madelyn since she's not of that world). Later in the plot he discovers the reason he is so strongly attracted to certain girls is because they sort of ARE him. He finds that pursuing a certain girl's path actually begins to shift his personality in the direction of whatever that girl represents. This weirds him out, naturally. Every person from Adam's world has people in this world whose personalities are the basis for their creation. This is explained through Madelyn's plotline.

I don't give much information on setting because that part is sketchy, much sketchier than the characters, to me as of now. I'm thinking it's going to have a steampunk feel to it with lots of techno music. I'm still working on that. I do know it's a violent, wild place with few inhibitions, something that makes him even less inclined to stay.

Everything is controlled by a Queen who is distant from the world and tends to delegate little matters to her servants. The Queen is extremely powerful. When she wants to create new people, she simply crafts a puppet that later is born as a person. She has ultimate control over people. Even though they SEEM to have control, she has the final say so they can't physically do anything she doesn't want them to do. Some people, like Lucy, resent her for this.

All of this endangers Adam because he is NOT of this world and the Queen can't control him, a fact that angers her.

As you can tell, I'm going heavily for a boy falls into strange Wonderland sort of thing. This project is pretty complicated and is going to take some major writing to do.

I'll add this information into my first post.

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Re: Dark Fantasy BXG game: Into the Distance needs a team

#4 Post by Auro-Cyanide » Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:19 am

Have you ever played/read Heart no Kuni no Alice? Your story sounds like a reversed story of that (mostly the attitude of the main character, attributes of the other characters, criminal undertones, craziness and the whole dating thing), except the darker psychological themes which are more akin to the original Alice in Wonderland. Not that it is a bad thing, there are plenty of Alice in Wonderland themed things around and I am interested in the psychology stuff.

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Re: Dark Fantasy BXG game: Into the Distance needs a team

#5 Post by LondonIvy » Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:36 am

Actually, Heart no Kuni Alice is my favorite game EVER. Haha. And I purposfully based it around that game, actually, because I thought it would be interesting to see what would happen if it was a guy put in Alice Liddel's situation. Besides, I've been disappointed by the lack of variety in BXG games. The girls are always so well-behaved. It's also something of a play off of typical otome/shoujo themes tossed into a BXG story. We'll see how that works...

This actually is based on fanfiction I was writing for the Heart no Kuni no Alice games until I realized that it would be a much more interesting original story, but the HnKnA influences are still definitely there. There were so many OC's and stuff in the story that I said "Screw it. This shouldn't be fanfic."

Also, I found an artist. :D

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Re: Dark Fantasy BXG game: Into the Distance needs a team

#6 Post by Auro-Cyanide » Tue Dec 21, 2010 9:00 am

Ha ha :D Cool! I haven't had the pleasure of playing Heart no Kuni no Alice but I have read the manga. The attitude of the protagonist was always one of my favourite bits. If your game is anything like it, it should be rather pleasing to play. It sounds rather interesting after all.

It is good that you found an artist :) I was actually thinking of offering to help because it sounded interesting, but that would probably be too much for my plate anyway ^^'

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Re: Dark Fantasy BXG game: Into the Distance needs a team

#7 Post by LondonIvy » Tue Dec 21, 2010 7:32 pm

I'm glad you were thinking of offering to help but, yes, this is a pretty ambitious project that's going to require some time and dedication so it might be a bit much. However, if you're interested I may need a beta-tester in the far (far) future. It'd be nice to have someone there to tell me if a scenario works or not, and I don't think it will take too much effort. But that's only if you're interested and, again, it's a long ways off.

Yes, it's going to be like HnKnA definitely. BTW, I think the games are better than the manga, but they're in Japanese so you'll have to either know the language or use some sort of translation software (like I do).

Also, my wonderful artist sent me sketches of what Adam will look like. I'll have to add that to the beginning post.

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Re: Dark Fantasy BXG game: Into the Distance needs a team

#8 Post by Auro-Cyanide » Wed Dec 22, 2010 6:25 am

Oh hell yeah! I would love too. I am looking forward to it already. Good Luck!

(oooo, you got a hold of yu_eriyama. Good job (>v<)b )

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Re: Into the Distance (Dark Fantasy BXG) Progress&Recruitmen

#9 Post by LondonIvy » Wed Dec 22, 2010 3:35 pm

I know! I'm very excited. Yu_eriyama is really a talented artist and has so far been very easy to work with. She's also expressed interest in composing music so I really must say I think this project is going somewhere.

Progress:

Yu_eriyama is working on character sketches and sprites for both Lucy and Adam. I sent her some sample dialogue so let's hope that doesn't scare her away. XD

Lucy's sketch and Emily's character profile has been added to the first post.

However, the artist isn't the only one working. I've finished the prologue and am now at the stage where I can work on each girl's route. I'm starting with Lucy since she has the most development done. I'll work on the girls' routes in this order: Lucy>Rose>Madelyn>Emily. Why that order? It's a simple matter of that I've simply developed the first more than the last. Emily is especially undeveloped as of now, but that will definitely change. If anyone has any ideas then I'd love to hear them.

All four of the girls will have two endings, a good and bad. The Queen and Louis may have one ending each but they won't have full-blown routes (I know my limits!). It'll be more like little extras. Before anyone says anything, there's only subtle boylove with Louis IF you want to go that way. If not then you can just write Louis off as trying to mess with Adam's mind and leave it at that. If you don't pursue anyone then Adam ends up going home (which is what he pretty much wants to do anyway), like Alice does in HnKnA. MAYBE I'll include Adam dying horribly endings (which is pretty much standard for these sorts of games) but that's really not a priority. The priority is to actually get this thing DONE in a decent amount of time.

I may include sample script from Lucy's route so people can get an idea of what to expect.

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Re: Into the Distance (Dark Fantasy BXG) Progress&Recruitmen

#10 Post by Liminality » Thu Dec 23, 2010 7:53 am

Love it so far! It sounds really great! May I correct you, though? This doesn't really matter at all for the game or anything, I'm just pretty stereotype touchy. A male tsundere is an oranyan, because technically a male can't be tsundere. Same concept though. 8D

;_; I wish I could work on one route at a time like that, but I've got to go by days to keep my writing even. *sobs terrible sad tears*

Madelyn sounds like a fun little tsundere!
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Re: Into the Distance (Dark Fantasy BXG) Progress&Recruitmen

#11 Post by LondonIvy » Thu Dec 23, 2010 3:07 pm

Huh. I'm not that Japanese term literate so I probably missed that. OLZ I've seen tsundere used for men before so I suppose I simply went ahead and did the same thing. I didn't realize it was in error. Oh well. I will correct that.

Glad you like it, though. And, yes, going by routes makes the whole thing much more maneagable for me. This is the only reason an inexperienced newbie like me can tackle such a large project.

I think everyone in this game is a little tsundere (or to be picky oranyan XD) to some extent or the other. Not to mention the slight yandere tendencies, haha.

BTW, YuukiCrossPudding has offered to help with proofreading and some small writing. I don't think she'll be able to help too much since she has her own VN to worry about, but it's nice to have more team members.

If others want to join the offer still stands.

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Re: Into the Distance (Dark Fantasy BXG) Progress&Recruitmen

#12 Post by LondonIvy » Sat Jan 01, 2011 3:36 pm

Bumping this thread because I have made some progress.

Lucy's route is progressing well. I do writing and programming at the same time so that quickens the process a bit.

Yu has made Lucy's sprite which can be found in the first post.

Also, Adam's portrait has been created, but I don't want to spam this thread with too much art.

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Re: Into the Distance (Dark Fantasy BXG) Progress&Recruitmen

#13 Post by LondonIvy » Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:41 am

I've been on hiatus because of Life Issues (tm). Don't ask. Ugh.

I've decided to steal a mechanic from HNKNA (why not? I've taken quite a few things from that game. XD) of you only being able to pursue the person you choose to stay with. Story-wise, this is easier to manage because it (a) gives the main character a place to stay and (b) means he's forced to live in close proximity with the girl of choice. The only exception is Emily. The main character can't stay with her and if the player wants to pursue her route you have to stay with someone else and do it.

Is it going to be turn-based like that game? Nope. It's going to flow like a standard visual novel. I never liked that turn-based mechanic.

I've started back working on this. Here's some sample dialogue I have so far for each character if anyone's interested. It'll give people an idea of what sort of writer I am.


The narration is first-person from Adam's perspective.


Lucy

*Keep in mind that this part happens when Adam first starts staying with her. She has a brother she lives with, as well.


*The scene begins in the kitchen*



Life with Lucy is less interesting than I expected.

Half the time she and her brother aren't even here. I don't even ask what they do for a living. The woman carries around weapons and talks like a harlot. She’s probably involved in the two oldest professions: assassination and that other one that everyone always mentions. I wouldn’t be surprised if her brother was, too.

This leaves me to fend for myself in a crappy house.

Lucy: Hey, lookie here~! You’re right where men belong. Barefoot and in the kitchen.

Adam: I have shoes on.

Lucy: …

Lucy: Oh.

Lucy: You just had to ruin that joke, didn’t you?

Adam: It’s not a joke if it makes no sense. I have shoes on. Also, that’s a joke normally applied to women. Applying it to a man does not make it a funny and ironic reversal of expectations. It makes it illogical. Unless, of course, those gender stereotypes don't apply here…

Lucy: They do, but I normally shoot them in the face. Besides, you’re not a man, right? Tee hee.

Adam: What!? It’s obvious I’m a guy!

Lucy: Uh…really? Okay. So whatcha making?

Adam: I was cooking lunch for myself.

Lucy: Pfft. Haha. So are you my wife now? Making lunch for me is so sweet!

Adam: I wasn’t making lunch for you.

Lucy: Aww…

Adam: Are you hungry?

Lucy: Yes.

Adam: Too bad.

Lucy: …

Lucy: You’re the worst man from an alternate dimension ever...Seriously.



Emily

*Adam goes to visit her about returning him to his home. He's been told she may be able to help her since she's supposed to be a very powerful magician. This scene changes depending on who you stay with. So far I've only written the one for when Adam stays with Lucy.


Where’d Lucy say this Emily person is?

She’s a magician. I bet she has some sort of huge, over-compensating tower.

*Change scene to show Emily's tower*

There’s the huge overcompensating tower.

Yep, this is about where Lucy says it was at. Hopefully I’ll talk to her, leave here, and not have to bother with picking up the groceries for Lucy...

*Adam approaches the door and knocks*

Adam: Hello? Hello!

No answer. You’d think an all-powerful magician would at least answer the door.

Adam: HEEELLLLOOOOO!!!

Emily: Hello right back at you.

She just suddenly appeared! Didn’t even open the door!

Emily: May I assist you, Adam?

Of course, she knows my name, but I’ll be damned if I ask how. That’s so clichéd. Besides, they never answer that question straight, anyway.

Adam: I want to go home. Now.

Emily: Aren’t you curious as to how I know your name?

Adam: No.

Emily: Really? But I thought it was impressive!

Adam: Don’t care. Get me home.

Emily: Hmm. You’re tough to impress, aren’t you?

Adam: Home. Now.

Emily: And demanding!

Adam: HOME!

Emily: And pushy! Geez.

Adam: Look, I have one demand, and for the past week I’ve been living with these weird people who make me sleep on the floor and cook and clean for them! Home is not an unreasonable demand.

Emily: Oh, right. You’re living with that assassin girl and her idiot brother.

Adam: She’s not very smart herself.

Emily: Her brother’s dumber, though. I sympathize with your plight. The girl is annoying.

Adam: Yeah, she didn’t seem to like you much.

Emily: Oh no. That’s not it. She isn’t even important enough for me to hate. Her existence is meaningless. But she does do outrageous things that…annoy my Queen. I’ll have to deal with her one day.

She says it with a smile.

Adam: Your Queen?

Emily: How about you come inside, Adam? I don’t like talking in the street.


Choice:

I’m fine out here.

All right, I’m coming.



*If Adam says he's fine outside, then the next scene occurs. If he follows her inside then a scene that unlocks her route occurs, a scene that is not included in this post.*


I'm fine out here:

Going inside will lead to more talking. I have a goal in mind: to get home.

Adam: Sorry.

Emily: *sigh* To the point then? You’re somewhat dull.

Emily: The fact is you’re not getting home.

Adam: Why?

Emily: You see, Adam, a powerful spell is what brought you here in the first place. I can simply sense the magic radiating off of you…it’s beautiful. But, ah, unfortunately this spell has a peculiar way of working. You see, you weren’t just brought here. You are bound here. There’s a difference. If you were brought here there’s the possibility of sending you back. But you are bound, which requires countering whatever spell brought you here in the first place. Frankly, without knowing who cast the spell I have no way of countering it.

Adam: So I’m stuck here?!

Emily: Unfortunately.

Adam: Dammit!

Emily: Sorry about you never seeing your home again, but would you like some cookies? I have some in the oven.

Adam: No. Thanks for your time, I guess.




As always feedback, questions, comments, critiques are welcomed. This is still in rough draft stage.

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Re: Into the Distance (Dark Fantasy BXG) Progress&Recruitmen

#14 Post by musical74 » Thu Feb 17, 2011 1:28 am

Adam seems...rather irritated! :)

Hey if you want another proofreader I'm for it. I've proofread other people's work, and this idea really intrigues me.
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Re: Into the Distance (Dark Fantasy BXG) Progress&Recruitmen

#15 Post by LondonIvy » Thu Feb 17, 2011 3:02 am

He's an easily irritated guy. XD

Thanks. I'll totally list you as a proofreader, and keep you in mind when I have more dialogue that needs proofing. Right now I just need to get dialogue written. DX

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