Magan (G/B and some B/B)

[Isilme]

If someone now, how use Ren'Py, I will be very grateful for help.


There will be Sawako/Men character and a B/B <-- but their will be not mainly characters... sorry?






Summary:


"Sawako..."


There is a girl, who have a giant power. She don't know about this, to this day. Now, a crazy woman is trying to use her power for dark thing. But with help from someone, She can run away.
But... when she did it, will she use her power? Will she... fulfil his wishes? Will she do that, or just run away again, like a coward?
But in other way... she is only a girl. She don't know how to fight and she almost always agrees to suggestions of others. But maybe this time she will change. Maybe...

Magan need you're help.

The King have problems with his commanders. They began initiate a rebellion. He believes that it is his fault, because he isn't a good king.
His fiancée, who he don't even now, is up to something.
Raphael is in some way happy, because now he can forget about his ex-fiancée and concetrate on killing monsters. But deep in his heart, he is broken.
Assassin have a new job. A contract, which is almost impossible, especially in such conditions. But despite this, he take it.

Will you help them? Will you save Magan?



Characters


Laston is an assassin. He work for no one, but sometimes he do something for Raphael.
He doesn't like socialize with people, so he usually don't come to town. He have a wish. But no one knows them.

Raphael is the last living representative of the family Nii'dian. He was with Catiana, but day before their wedding she left him.
Now he doesn't think about girlfriend, and only think about monsters. But he doesn't was like that before. Is he able to become himself again?

Catiana is Raphael former fiancée, and current candidate for the wife of the Dark Lord. She don't like people from the lower level.
No one now her, so She do what she like. She have dark secrets, what no one know. She always had a dark heart, incapable of love.
She can't some back from this path.

Dark Lord is the King of Other World, and the lord of everything. But in his soul, he is lonely.
Then, Catiana come to him, and tell that she will be his wife for the eternity. But he doesn't like this.
He can't run away, neither live this be. So, is there anything he can do?

Sawako Ozawa is a high School Girl from Kioto. Her parents are in America, so she live alone.
But then, a mysterious woman come to her house, and tell that her destiny is to save "Magan", also known as Utopia.
But this "Utopia" is real. Here the present is living proof of the existence of Utopia. What She will do? What will YOU do?


Why does it rain, rain, rain down on Utopia?
Why does it have to kill the ideal of who we are?
Why does it rain, rain, rain down on Utopia?
And when the lights die down, telling us who we are?

I'm sorry that it isn't that much, but my English sucks and i dn't know how to write. Sorry! >////<

Progress:
Story: 8%
Characters: 80% <--- I need re-do Catiana -.-
Everything else: 0%


Images:
Assassin
Dark Lord
Sawako Ozawa
Catiana
Raphael

[Aozora210]

The picture is kinda nice, but you need to tweak them up to make people more interested.

And anyhow, it's better if you include some information about your game to make people more interested to help you out XD

[Isilme]

Thanks for comment I'm really happy, that you like my image, even so litte

[spookyruthy]

... at this moment in time it's very difficult to make a judgement on your project. Simply put, there's little substance here. The picture you've provided needs work, which you yourself know. The plot is very thin at the moment. I can't really understand the picture's relevance to the story you've given so far, so it's hard to give you some constructive criticism to make it any better.

Some suggestions:

-Elaborate your story with more details. I know at this stage you won't want to give everything away, but you'll never get any feedback, positive or negative, without providing the relevant information.
-Practice your drawing. You've got potential with your artwork here, don't get me wrong, but you lack an understanding of perspective, which is something that only practice can give you. Working on a small project like this is perfect - it will give you ample opportunity to practice! You'll see the difference when you finish.
-Don't be afraid to ask for help. If your story is compelling and interesting enough, you may find people that will contribute work to your project, being in the form of writing, artwork, music or coding.

I hope that helps you out - and good luck with your project! I look forward to playing it

[Isilme]

Thank you, I'm appreciate your comment. Yeah, I now, that the "summary' isn't long, but this is like that, because I can't translate this from polish TT_TT

About the drawing. This was better, before O try to make 'lineart', or something like that XD
Now, I will try to write full summary.

[Elenakiara]

I second what the others said at the moment and will be waiting for a full summary too, before commenting. But, I can say that this has a potential for being interesting, due to the fact that it happens in another world.