~Idol Crush~ WIP [Critic?]

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Snowflower
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~Idol Crush~ WIP [Critic?]

#1 Post by Snowflower » Sun Jan 09, 2011 8:10 am

Okay, this is my very first VN so cut me some slack~
It would be great if you guys can give me some advice/suggestions :D
Thanks

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Idol Crush is a Visual Novel game that gives its readers an opportunity to find Saino Aru Academy's Miyuki Watanabe's high school sweetheart. With three gorgeous school idols to choose from, Miyuki has the way to somehow seduce one of them. With fabulous sprites & background pictures from Bass, Idol Crush develops intriguing story for readers to follow.

Sprites: Bass
Background: Bass
Music: Bass

Features
3 Boys with 10+ endings

Progress
Story : 100%
Script : 100%
Programming : 100%
Character designs : 100%
Sprites : 100%
Background : 100%
Music : 100%
(as of 1/13/11)


Characters:

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Last edited by Snowflower on Thu Jan 13, 2011 4:04 am, edited 9 times in total.
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Aleema
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Re: Idol Crush (Work in Progress)

#2 Post by Aleema » Sun Jan 09, 2011 8:48 am

That's a cute logo! Glad to see the story is already mostly done, since that's the hardest part! With graphics out of the way, you'll have this done in no time, and that makes me happy. Jun and Kan look similar, but I'm sure they act differently.

Good luck. :)
Last edited by Aleema on Mon Jan 10, 2011 10:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Snowflower
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Re: Idol Crush (WIP) Edited XD

#3 Post by Snowflower » Sun Jan 09, 2011 8:23 pm

done and done
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selenity136
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Re: ~Idol Crush~ WIP [Critic?]

#4 Post by selenity136 » Mon Jan 10, 2011 1:01 am

So far it's pretty alright for a first VN judging how it looks with the characters and background information. With that many endings and CGs, I'm assuming that the character's paths are in-depth? I'll be keeping an eye on this one ^^.

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Re: ~Idol Crush~ WIP [Critic?]

#5 Post by Sapphi » Mon Jan 10, 2011 1:33 am

Just a few thoughts...
Why are all three guys insanely popular with the girls? It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it does make them all seem a bit too similar as characters, IMO. It also would make the romance seem unbelievable if Miyuki is not only an average high school student, but a shy one at that.
"It is [the writer's] privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart,
by reminding him of the courage and honor and hope and pride
and compassion and pity and sacrifice which have been the glory of his past."
— William Faulkner
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Snowflower
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Re: ~Idol Crush~ WIP [Critic?]

#6 Post by Snowflower » Mon Jan 10, 2011 2:09 am

selenity136--
Thank you so much. The full game will be on the completed page on hopefully by the end of the month. If not, early next month. Now, I know why people make VNs. I love seeing + responses :)


Sapphi--
I see your point, (I've added and deleted some stuff from the character info. Tell me if that makes more sense)

but...
Miyuki is best friends with Jun (the notorious player) since toddler days. They've had their ups and downs. Miyuki secretly has a crush on him. The most logical boyfriend in this would be him since he is the childhood friend.

Ichiro is Jun's senior/Miyuki's tutor (later on developed). But he's the kind of person who's oblivious to girls' feelings. That's why he has never had a girlfriend himself. He's actually really awkward around girls if he puts his heart to it fully. The only reason why girls are trailing behind him is because once all his shallow factors are put together, he's all girls' fantasy. If his good ending is achieved, Miyuki and Ichiro would be each other's first relationship partners.

Kan is somewhat of a social outcast. He is extremely anti-social. Therefore, the girls find him unapproachable. No one had the courage to actually speak to him. He's attractive in appearance; so girls, who have the tendency to fantasize themselves with hot guys, obviously talks about him. Miyuki is the second girl to approach him (more on this in the story). Kan, having such friend, opens up to Miyuki.

I don't know if this explain some stuff... hopefully
& I think it makes more sense if the game is played? :)

Thanks for the comment!
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Re: ~Idol Crush~ WIP [Critic?]

#7 Post by icebluehost » Mon Jan 10, 2011 4:06 am

I like the art. It's pretty and I wish I could draw as good as you do. And I can see that your game is very close to being finished so I'm looking forward to that XD

From a first glance it looks pretty much like any other typical high school VN, though I'm fully aware that this is just a summary and that there's probably more to the story and characters in the game itself. Good luck in finishing it!

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Re: ~Idol Crush~ WIP [Critic?]

#8 Post by Snowflower » Mon Jan 10, 2011 4:09 am

icebluehost--
although I would loveee to take credit for the art, it's from bass.
and as I type, I am working on the script to be finished :)
thanks
& usually, high school VNs are all pretty similar, but hopefully mine can survive? :)
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Re: ~Idol Crush~ WIP [Critic?]

#9 Post by Riviera » Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:58 am

WOW, they're all really good looking. At first I reacted the same as ice.

Me: *glances at pics* *falls on floor* TEACH ME TO DRAW, VAMPIREZERO-SENSEI~!

Cool that you're giving credit. I need to look into bass, myself!

The characters all have endearing qualities, and I'll be keeping an eye on this. :)
Will edit/proofread for cookies.

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Snowflower
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Re: ~Idol Crush~ WIP [Critic?]

#10 Post by Snowflower » Mon Jan 10, 2011 9:39 am

haha,
If I had the ability to draw LIKE THAT, I will most certainly teach them to you :D
However, my powers lack in that department.
What did you think of the characters & their sprites?
I am mostly drawn to Kan because I love a little bit of a bad boy image
but Ichiro has me captivated with his silver hair~
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Re: ~Idol Crush~ WIP [Critic?]

#11 Post by ofdawnandtwilight » Mon Jan 10, 2011 9:53 am

oh my god this looks gorgoeus! i love your art very much!!!!!~
<3

icebluehost
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Re: ~Idol Crush~ WIP [Critic?]

#12 Post by icebluehost » Mon Jan 10, 2011 10:09 am

I agree. I'm also into the bad boy image XD XD LOL Appearance wise though, it's hard to tell for me. They all look good. <3 <3 And it only means that your art fits the story perfectly. Three gorgeous school idols indeed!

Er...this may sound like a stupid question but Bass is a person...right?

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Auro-Cyanide
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Re: ~Idol Crush~ WIP [Critic?]

#13 Post by Auro-Cyanide » Mon Jan 10, 2011 10:16 am

No, it isn't a person. It is a visual novel creation tool that has free resources like backgrounds and sprites. http://bassnovel.com/

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Snowflower
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Re: ~Idol Crush~ WIP [Critic?]

#14 Post by Snowflower » Mon Jan 10, 2011 6:31 pm

Yup, Auro Cyanide is correct.
It's another VN creating program, but it allows creators to find their own stuff within the site.
I personally believe it is an AMAZING place for newbies to get their hands on. It's easy.

I used Bass mostly because i'm new to this programming area.
For my next one, I hope to find artist(s) :)


Thanks for the love~
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Completed: Idol Crush | WIP: your highness | Hiatus: Shugojin!| Follow Me on Twitter | Subscribe to YouTube
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Re: ~Idol Crush~ WIP [Critic?]

#15 Post by Riviera » Tue Jan 11, 2011 10:15 am

VampireZero wrote:haha,
If I had the ability to draw LIKE THAT, I will most certainly teach them to you :D
However, my powers lack in that department.
What did you think of the characters & their sprites?
I am mostly drawn to Kan because I love a little bit of a bad boy image
but Ichiro has me captivated with his silver hair~
I'll probably try Jun first. I've got a soft spot for the victorious childhood friend. :)

And the ladykiller in love. He's got both so this should be interesting.
Will edit/proofread for cookies.

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