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PostPosted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 11:31 am 
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Red Snow aka short VN is short.

Red Snow (name may change) is one of the first Visual Novels I have worked on and the first in which I have created the story for. It is based on a dream I had once and I am trying to keep it well within the range of short so I can actually manage to get it done. I am making this thread as open development because frankly I can use all the feedback I can get. As such I am going to be quite open with what I am doing and so there are bound to be spoilers. So if you don't want to have it spoilt, don't look. Otherwise I welcome all feedback and I am grateful for the resource that this community is.

I will be the artist for the project and I am editing the script written by Kael. Kael is also creating music for the project. This project will be ready when it is ready.

I am a bit nervous about posting here because I don't want to jinx the project or something. Oh well.

Anyway, SPOILERS AHEAD!

Title: Red Snow
Genre: Adventure/Drama
Rating: PG13 for cartoon violence
Length: Short
Endings: Four + mini bonus
Choices: Two
POV: Third person

The snow in this kingdom never seems to stop...

Red Snow focuses on Amaria, a 21 year old assassin living in a kingdom rife with corruption and desperation, on the very brink of revolution. Innes is a man who has built up the rebels from the very bottom, changing them from a disorganised group into a military operation. Change is inevitable. He hired her to assassinate the heir to throne. The rebels will take care of the king. His theory is cut off the snakes head and the body will die.

Amaria makes it all the way to the castle only to find a child is her target. She decides that she doesn't want to fight for any cause that would require the death of a child. She decides to protect him, to keep him safe and get him out of the city. But can they actually escape alive?

Endings as they stand now. May change depending on what Kael writes:

Ending 1:
Innes kills the prince and Amaria kills Innes. Rebellion fails.

Ending 2:
Innes and his followers kill Amaria and the prince. Rebellion fails and Innes escapes.

Ending 3:
Amaria confronts Innes and dies. Prince escapes the city. Rebellion a success.

Ending 4:
Happy ending (finally huh). Amaria and the prince escape alive. Rebellion a success.

Bonus:
After the credits for the 4th ending. Shows a scene about Amaria's and the prince's new life.


This is the flow chart of the decisions with notes on story and art. Very rough.:
Attachment:
Flow Chart 1.jpg
Flow Chart 1.jpg [ 243.11 KiB | Viewed 3630 times ]


Character Concepts:

Amaria, the Assassin:
Attachment:
Assassin 2.jpg
Assassin 2.jpg [ 153.53 KiB | Viewed 3630 times ]

She is cool in temperament and cold at heart. She tends to be quite removed, or at least acts like it. That is until she meets the little prince.

Innes, the Rebel:
Attachment:
Rebel copy.jpg
Rebel copy.jpg [ 155.68 KiB | Viewed 3630 times ]

He is very dangerous, usually offering one hand to help and holding a knife in the other. He is a manipulator and will do anything for this rebellion to succeed. He is a natural leader but his hatred could lead him on a difficult path.

Ephraim, the Prince:
Attachment:
Prince copy.jpg
Prince copy.jpg [ 126.22 KiB | Viewed 3630 times ]

He is very sweet and naive, not yet corrupted by his father. He is trusting and compassionate towards others. If he can actually survive the rebellion he may actually grow into a decent man.

So that is what we have so far. The script is written up until the first choice, but it needs to be edited a fair bit. Once we move on a little we will look for a proofreader/editor. After confirming a couple things I will start with some story boards.

Feedback is welcome!

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Last edited by Auro-Cyanide on Wed Jun 15, 2011 12:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:39 pm 
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This looks very promising! ^^ I like how you have organized everything. The story also sound cool and the characters look great. I'll be looking forward to see them interact. ;p

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 4:14 pm 
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Projects: Roaming, Red Snow??? Some others as composer.
Main theme of the game:

http://www.mediafire.com/?5k0aibcib50q9en
Sorry, I doubt any vocals, I'm still an apprentice.

Kael's scribbles:

Coming soon, with MAJOR SPOILERS
Hopefully sooner than scheduled.

Thank you.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 7:09 pm 
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As always, your art is impressive. Innes is pretty hot, haha. :D Amaria is beautiful, and the prince is very cute, just as you probably intended. I can't wait to get to know them.

Story-wise, you've really grabbed my attention. The central conflict (the rebellion) is strong, and the main character has an active role within the story. The elements of the story itself are tight and interesting. I not only see this project being good, I also see it as being able to be finished. Some people far overreach themselves and, as good as their projects sound, you suspect they don't know where it ends. You seem to have a clear idea for this. Good for you and planning, haha.

The endings are a little depressing. XD Is there an ending where Amaria runs off with Innes and become a basket-weaver? That's happier than some of the others, lol.

I'll be watching this with great interest. :D

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 8:29 pm 
ssǝʇunoƆ ʇɹ∀
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@Alera, thank you, I am glad it sounds interesting to you ^^

@Kael, Hey Kael!

@LondonIvy, thank you :) I am making sure it is short so it can be done, especially since it is the first one that is partially mine. Visual Novels are so involved and since I am doing the artwork I am extra concious as to how much I will have to draw. It was also one of the best dreams I have ever had, mostly because it didn't involve something stupid like giant guinea fowl.

lol, that would be funny :D If there is one thing I can create, it is depressing endings. They seem to pop up fairly often in my stories. I also wanted to highlight how difficult it would be to get out. But I still want the depressing ending to be whole, so they will be pretty dramatic and will reveal different aspects of the characters.

On an irrelevant note, I graduate from uni today! Yay for me.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 12:40 am 
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It's great to see the character arts (very pretty like your other works) coming together in one VN. I haven't read the flow chart or spoilers on purpose, so I can be surprised. I hope you have fun during the process of making it! I'll be cheering you on.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 8:05 am 
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Ohohoh!!! Your artis really pretty! :3 <3 Like James, I didn't read ahead even though I'm actually quite tempted and curious about it! xDD I want to wish you good luck and I can't wait to see the end result!! :3

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 10:24 am 
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Congrats on graduating! >w<

And hey- I personally don't mind the depressing endings. They are something we rarely see, so it's cool! :'D

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Games:
❤️ Zayay [Otome?][BxPlayer][NaNo 2013]
❤️ Tortichki [Drag&Drop mini game]

Other games I've worked on:
My Heart's Flame Emissary of Starlight Freedom From Silence Sickness
And many more unannounced/secret projects. (. .)


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 10:46 am 
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Congrats on graduating! :D

I like your designs and I read the flowchart full of spoilers and also liked it very much! I like the idea of changing the whole color palette to reflect the mood of the scenes/endings C:

How much art do you think you'll need, and how much time do you plan on investing on that item, or is it something you'll work on following the script and doing whatever you feel like doing? I'm curious, since I normally make a list of things I need and how much estimated time I'll spend on each, but end up spending more time polishing things and throwing extra stuff for the sake of it later on, just because it's fun and I want to do it xD; (and end up taking about double the time I originally planned...)

I'm looking forward to see more of the graphical development! :D

(sorry for the unhelpful comment >x< )

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When drawing something, anything, USE REFERENCES!! Use your Google-fu!

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Research, observation, analysis, experimentation and practice are the key! (:



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PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 9:27 pm 
ssǝʇunoƆ ʇɹ∀
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@Deji. Currently what I am planning on doing is planning the art along with the script. I am trying to keep a balance between letting Kael have creative freedom with the writing and keeping it short. The degree of art will depend on the length of the script so I will allow it to be finished, or at least nearly finished, before I move on to the final art. The length will effect how much I put into individual pieces and how many pieces will make up each scene.

I am planning on making thumbnail story boards of what I plan to draw. That way I can move things and experiment without wasting a large amount of time. I can also adjust the script as I go to replace certain things with visuals and vice versa. By the end of the thumbnails I will hopefully have a pretty good idea of exactly what and how much I will be drawing.

Other things I plan on working on as the script gets done is to:
-Continue strengthening the character concepts so I really know what they look like. Height chart etc.
-Rough plan of the city.
-Colour Palettes.
-Identity designs (later).

It is a lot of planning, but I prefer this then to spend a lot of time on something that I have to redo or that I don't use ^^' So it will be quite awhile before game ready images are done, but I do plan on posting the thumbnails so I can get some feedback on story flow and such.

Thank you everyone for the kind words and encouragement!

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:17 pm 
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*sigh* I haven't had much of a chance to get close to this. I was busy with some nanoreno stuff and work for other people, but I still feel kind of bad.

I tried doing a testing sprite since I have never actually down one before. And I was trying out Sai for the first time. I have A LOT to learn. There are quite a few things I need to check up on, to see the best way of doing them. My main concern was how to arrange doing all the different emotions. I suppose lots of layers and folders? ^^'

Anyway, her she is. Don't ask about the style, I don't know what was going on either. Maybe I was partially channelling Marvel >.>
Attachment:
Amaria Sprite Test.png
Amaria Sprite Test.png [ 153 KiB | Viewed 3182 times ]


I am not happy with it. At all. But I'm going to be redoing it anyway, so what the hell. I will continue *slowly* working on this. Augh, can't believe how much I have to learn, it is actually quite the learning curve...

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:22 pm 
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I like it myself, she looks like she has a tough exterior and attitude and I think she would be an interesting character

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 5:10 am 
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Okay, I have another version of Amaria. I am actually much more happy with this one, both stylistically and in general structure. Thank you very much to Deji and YonYonYon for helping me with my anatomy! I didn't realise I had done so much wrong D:

Here she is:
Attachment:
File comment: Amaria Test Sprite 3
Amaria Test 3 copy.jpg
Amaria Test 3 copy.jpg [ 98.84 KiB | Viewed 3084 times ]


I have a texture on it... because I like texture. It felt better to loosen up a bit about it. I think I was trying to be too neat and tidy with the other ones ^^'

Now I have to give this emotion thing a try. Hmmm.

Edit: Trying out making different emotions. I think I am getting the hang of it :D Though my layers are all over the place like a dog's dinner. I need to clean them up before it becomes even too painful for me to work with. Next: different pose D:
Attachment:
Amaria Emotions Test 1.jpg
Amaria Emotions Test 1.jpg [ 221.08 KiB | Viewed 3057 times ]

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 9:12 am 
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The art looks promising, I do hope the finished project will be promising too! At first, i thought this was somewhat an alaskan documentary, but I was wrong...I hope to play this vn soon...hoping for the best!! :D

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 9:47 am 
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Is it just me or does her nose look better this way :) ?
http://i.imgur.com/TwqMK.png

Great story by the way. I love the fact that a cold blooded assassin decided to protect her target instead of killing him. That's kinda cute :P .


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