Red Snow {Open Development}

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Arithra
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Re: Red Snow {Open Development}

#31 Post by Arithra » Wed May 04, 2011 12:15 pm

The lines around his eyes sure changed a lot.. he eally looks older and more masculine...
I like the colors they fit well together.. i would advise him against white trousers... they get dirty so easily...
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Re: Red Snow {Open Development}

#32 Post by Auro-Cyanide » Sat May 07, 2011 10:45 am

Silly male, what was he thinking with the white trousers XD

I tried doing a colouring style, but I am going to have to redo it. My colours kept being corrupted by this grey and i couldn't figure out where it came from. Then I figured out my layer was slightly transparent and I was picking up the background colour >_>
Innes test sprite 3.jpg


Recoloured him and added some emotions. I think it turned out okay. The new brushes in photoshop CS5 threw me way off. They are more painterly, which is great, I'm just not used to it D:
Innes emotion set test.jpg

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Re: Red Snow {Open Development}

#33 Post by Auro-Cyanide » Sun Jun 12, 2011 12:58 pm

Well, I decided I needed to make some time for my own projects, because if I don't who will, right?

I have written the first part of the script up to the first choice. You can check it out if you like, but it probably won't make a great deal of sense since I didn't include any descriptions of what was going one. It is purely what is going to be written. Most of the rest of the information is going to be covered by visuals, but I may have to go back and add bits to the script where it is needed. I consider myself an okay writer creatively, technically is another matter all together. As always, feel free to comment and critique.
Script draft 1.pdf
(58.3 KiB) Downloaded 84 times

Also, I have decided to use this colouring style because I JUST FIGURED IT OUT. Seriously, I have been using Photoshop for, what, 3 years now and I only just found this brush. It's one of the default ones! How the hell did I miss it! That aside, I have decided it is totally awesome and makes colouring, so, so much easier. Image is unrelated to this project.
Colour example.jpg

Hopefully I will be able to do some story boarding soon ^^

Ps and off topic. Downton Abbey is an amazzzzzing show~ Addicted to it.

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Re: Red Snow {Open Development}

#34 Post by Camille » Sun Jun 12, 2011 1:22 pm

I see Shuuki~ <3 This is a really interesting-sounding project! And so many different endings, haha. I hope you get to finish it. *_*
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Re: Red Snow {Open Development}

#35 Post by KomiTsuku » Sun Jun 12, 2011 1:26 pm

I took a quick review of the script, seeing as I'm too tired from filling sandbags to actually get out of my computer chair and pack. There are some grammatical problems, capitalizing sir being the most prevalent. Unless he is Sir Innes, you don't capitalize it. I think the only other major one is that you need to add commas before the names in sentences like these... "Get to the point, Innes." It wasn't consistently wrong, but there were several cases of it.
From a more plot-related review, it is shaping up to be a decent opening, but there was one thing that bugged me. Having her go from willing to kill the prince for cheap to being unable to do it in a very, very short period of time threw off the image of a trained killer I was picturing her as. This is one of those rare moments when I say that a little bit more character development would go a long way here. I think that a small glimpse that she is more than a hitwoman might make her sudden flip a little more believable.


Okay, I think I'm going to see if I can make it to the bed. >.<; Owwwwww...

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Re: Red Snow {Open Development}

#36 Post by Auro-Cyanide » Mon Jun 13, 2011 10:48 am

@Camille: Shuuki~ <3 Yeah, him and Natsume are the only ones I have done in this style so far so I'm just using him as an example until I get Amaria done or something. I am determined to get it done >< It is a short game so if I don't get this done, I won't be able to move on. I'm glad you think it is interesting -^^-

@KomiTsuku: Awww, sore muscles suck. I will definitely get a proofreader or two before I'm done. I'm not a very good technical writer, my spelling and grammar is terrible. My poor english teacher. She couldn't understand how I could write well and yet still get there and their confused. I still do that, then and than too, but I have gotten better :D
Ah, yes, I see what you mean. Actually it is good that you mentioned it because I forgot that Innes is meant to appear sightly suspicious of her ability. That is very important to the plot so I have to remember to mention it. I have wanted to avoid giving Amaria a backstory because I think it is unnecessary for such a short story and I like keeping a bit of a mystery. Instead I now have Innes mentioning her previous jobs and how this one is different. He also questions her ability to do it. At this point I also want to keep it vague that the prince is a child (though anyone who has looked at this thread would know that already). Here is what it reads now:

Innes Not this time my dear. I would give you the world if you get this task done... Amaria?

Amaria What?

Innes Are you sure you can do this? You have taken care of plenty of people for me over the years and no one would ever consider calling you soft, but you have never done anything like this before. You have been fighting against the king almost as long as I have and you have never failed me. But I can not have you falter, not this time. I need you to be sure. Can you do this?


Amaria ...Just tell me when and where?

I have been trying to keep it short and to the point as well, since the overall game is short. i don't want to ramble and I want to cover a fair bit of information with visuals.

Tell me what you think

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Re: Red Snow {Open Development}

#37 Post by KomiTsuku » Mon Jun 13, 2011 1:02 pm

Auro-Cyanide wrote:@Camille: Shuuki~ <3 Yeah, him and Natsume are the only ones I have done in this style so far so I'm just using him as an example until I get Amaria done or something. I am determined to get it done >< It is a short game so if I don't get this done, I won't be able to move on. I'm glad you think it is interesting -^^-

@KomiTsuku: Awww, sore muscles suck. I will definitely get a proofreader or two before I'm done. I'm not a very good technical writer, my spelling and grammar is terrible. My poor english teacher. She couldn't understand how I could write well and yet still get there and their confused. I still do that, then and than too, but I have gotten better :D
Ah, yes, I see what you mean. Actually it is good that you mentioned it because I forgot that Innes is meant to appear sightly suspicious of her ability. That is very important to the plot so I have to remember to mention it. I have wanted to avoid giving Amaria a backstory because I think it is unnecessary for such a short story and I like keeping a bit of a mystery. Instead I now have Innes mentioning her previous jobs and how this one is different. He also questions her ability to do it. At this point I also want to keep it vague that the prince is a child (though anyone who has looked at this thread would know that already). Here is what it reads now:

Innes Not this time my dear. I would give you the world if you get this task done... Amaria?

Amaria What?

Innes Are you sure you can do this? You have taken care of plenty of people for me over the years and no one would ever consider calling you soft, but you have never done anything like this before. You have been fighting against the king almost as long as I have and you have never failed me. But I can not have you falter, not this time. I need you to be sure. Can you do this?


Amaria ...Just tell me when and where?

I have been trying to keep it short and to the point as well, since the overall game is short. i don't want to ramble and I want to cover a fair bit of information with visuals.

Tell me what you think

That would work well. You really don't have to build it up, but there has to at least be the seeds of questioning. It also gives a little bit of backstory as well, helping me picture her more clearly in my mind. Like my mentor used to say, you can do a lot more with a perfectly placed word than a carpet bombing of description.

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Auro-Cyanide
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Re: Red Snow {Open Development}

#38 Post by Auro-Cyanide » Wed Jun 15, 2011 12:18 pm

I agree with your mentor :) I like subtle story telling most of the time, and stuff that gets to the point.

I made a logo for myself :D
Image

I made up the story board for the first bit. I will probably change bits and pieces, add in some scene, re-arrange things. It is more a starting point on planning than anything else. Need to do some more commissions before I do more work on this though.
Page 1-2 thumbs.jpg

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