~Hayzel's Stuff ~ Please deposit tips or comments <3

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Hayzel
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Re: ~Hayzel's Stuff ~ Please deposit tips or comments <3

#31 Post by Hayzel »

Image
Are the eyes better?

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Re: ~Hayzel's Stuff ~ Please deposit tips or comments <3

#32 Post by Hayzel »

Challenge-2
Design an Outfit using materials from the Discount Pet store.

This was tricky. I had to be very observant when the did the shots of the store, though I had a few things in mind already when they announced it.

Shion Sonozaki is my model-claps-

I did the top with a dog rope, my idea is done by untangling the rope then braiding it together to make the neck trap then taking a thin neutral color of the dog rope and using it to braid in the neck strap and have it sewn into a dog bed top) I know I was supposed to stay away from conventional patterns but the skirt would take more work Xp)

The skirt is dog leashes woven together tightly, though I had trouble figuring out how to draw it.

Image

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Re: ~Hayzel's Stuff ~ Please deposit tips or comments <3

#33 Post by HigurashiKira »

Shion's look is great. Though...her nose seems to be off-place o.o;
Otherwise, it's a nice look for her.
Too bad ishe'll probably dirty it with someone's bood...
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Re: ~Hayzel's Stuff ~ Please deposit tips or comments <3

#34 Post by Hayzel »

Image

Colored

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Re: ~Hayzel's Stuff ~ Please deposit tips or comments <3

#35 Post by lordcloudx »

Use fewer nodes when using the line tool in SAI and try to reduce the weight of the lines at the tips, (an easy way to do this is to use a big, soft-edged eraser/white brush and dab a little with your tablet at the tips. It makes your lines look more refined) especially on the hair and jawline. Otherwise, nice clean flat coloring. You still have some rather glaring anatomy issues, but the best way to rectify those is to just keep drawing.


Watch out for the shoulders, neckline and the left-right proportions of her body.
Btw, you missed a spot. There's a small streak of green on her skirt.
How do you make your games? I see. Thank you for the prompt replies, but it is my considered opinion that you're doing it wrong inefficiently because I am a perfushenal professional. Do it my way this way and we can all ascend VN Nirvana together while allowing me to stroke my ego you will improve much faster. Also, please don't forget to thank me for this constructive critique or I will cry and bore you to death respond appropriately with a tl;dr rant discourse of epic adequately lengthy proportions. - Sarcasm Veiled in Euphemism: Secrets of Forum Civility by lordcloudx (Coming soon to an online ebook near you.)

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#36 Post by Hayzel »

Explain a little better please >.<? Can't I just use the weight tool? Doesn't the sketch look better atomically?

XD Wow. You sure have an eye for detail cloud <3


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Re: ~Hayzel's Stuff ~ Please deposit tips or comments <3

#37 Post by lordcloudx »

Detail:

Okay, first you made a new linework layer lined it with the default settings in the line tool or whatever tickles your fancy. Like so:
part1.jpg
Next, you use the weight tool to add weight. (I hid the original sketch layer)
part2.jpg
Now it might look fine, but you'll notice that the edges of the line look quite fat (as well as flat), which is not how they do it with dem animuh style images.

So you'll want to use the pressure tool and decrease the pressure to about 10-20% at the edges like this:
part3.jpg
which makes the edges of the lines look sharper... especially on the hair.
How do you make your games? I see. Thank you for the prompt replies, but it is my considered opinion that you're doing it wrong inefficiently because I am a perfushenal professional. Do it my way this way and we can all ascend VN Nirvana together while allowing me to stroke my ego you will improve much faster. Also, please don't forget to thank me for this constructive critique or I will cry and bore you to death respond appropriately with a tl;dr rant discourse of epic adequately lengthy proportions. - Sarcasm Veiled in Euphemism: Secrets of Forum Civility by lordcloudx (Coming soon to an online ebook near you.)

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#38 Post by Hayzel »

I thought I did do that x.x

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#39 Post by MaiMai »

You may have, but I don't think you quite understand how to utilize the pressure tool. The problem with your drawings primarily is that you're using thick lineart for an anime/manga style with poor use of line weight and pressure. Manga styles that use thick lines still have a fluidity to them.

I think my examples below might explain better than words can.
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#40 Post by Hayzel »

I'll do my best to play with the lines more! <3

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#41 Post by Hayzel »

Thought I'd put an OC-Fan-fic that I wrote a bit ago for the ego boost ( or decay for you tough cookies out there XD)
If people get interested I'll post more chapters.

Code: Select all

Happiness-Chapter 1

Sighing, Hayzel took a seat at the edge of his savior's bed and watched as the other squeezed between a small refrigerator and the wall of the hallway to enter the main part of the room. Grinning madly, Carter flopped down next to the blond and laid a red and white checkered blanket in his lap. "Sorry it's so tight in here Hayzel. I can't even let Charger from his ball," the sand brown haired man said as he gestured over to his prized Pikachu's ball.

"It's…it's okay," the other said weakly as he draped the blanket over his shoulders and scooted back against the wall. Carter stood up then kneeled down and began to adjust one of the legs on the bed, giving Hayzel the opportunity to take in the room in its' entirety. It was small, something you'd picture when you'd think of a room underneath a staircase. There was a small door that you had to duck to enter followed by a tiny hall with the mentioned refrigerator and a set of drawers to the left that lead to the tiny room with a sink, bed, and a curtain that blocks the doorway into a bathroom. The bathroom was a bit bigger than a closet. Right when you walk in there is the toilet and without any sort of blockade was a small pipe fixed to a shower head hovering over a drain.

Noticing this Hayzel's cheeks began to flush, remembering the incident from earlier. He was washing his hands in the bathroom sink at the mansion and had gone to exit the room. The room was l shaped so that if the door was left open, you couldn't tell it was a bathroom. Unfortunately, Carter didn't know Hayzel was in the restroom and began to go down the hall and had already undone his fly in preparation. Upon his exit, Hayzel turned the corner and got an eyeful, causing a very awkward moment between the two. "Carter…are you sure you want me here? I don't want to take up your space…"

Looking up at the blond through his sandy brown hair, the man simply laughed and shook his head only to return to adjusting his bed. "You don't need to apologize. I told you I wanted you to stay. It's no problem to me at all. Unless you're uncomfortable here, I could get you a room at the Inn."

"Ah..no. This is fine," the other said quietly. Truthfully, he felt uncomfortable letting Carter do so much for him. After all, the man was responsible for getting him the job restoring the mansion. In Olivine, their home town, Hayzel had grown tired of being a burden to his half-sister, the Gym Leader Jasmine. The boy getting very sick in unclean air, she gladly took him in at thier father's request. On the day he decided to leave, his sister retired his childhood companion, an Ampharos that used to light the Lighthouse, and then set off on his own.

Carter had grown up on Moo Moo farm and had grown restless of the simple life of the farm. Grwoing up, he had more interest in building things for the Pokemon than taking care of them. Known for helping restore the burned tower in Ecruteak he was asked to do a job in Vermillion City which he eagerly accepted as a way to break free from his farming duties.

Serendipitously, the two ended up in the same Cabin on the S.S. Aqua. At first Carter just stared at Hayzel a bit. The latter nervously asked him if there was something wrong. Still smiling, the other simply just shrugged his shoulders and said, "I was captivated by your eyes." causing Hayzel to turn beet red, and become unable to focus on anything else that was said. Somehow during that period, Carter had talked Hayzel into working with him on the mansion.

Once they arrived in Vermillion, Hayzel was given a tiny apartment from Lt. Surge as a favor to his sister, much to his displeasure as he wanted to become a little more independent. Unfortunately, today it was blown up during the gym leader's training, thus leading to their current situation.

"Err..Hayzel? You're sort of staring off into space."

"Ah…I'm sorry…" Hayzel mumbled as a light shade of pink began to show in his cheeks.

Laughing the other stood up pulled the string to the light, making the room pitch black. "You don't need to be so apologetic Hayzel. Relax a bit more," his disembodied voice rang out followed by the sound of clothes being tossed onto the floor. 

Taking advantage of the darkness, Hayzel slid out of his shirt, leaned over to lay it on the floor followed by his jeans. After waiting a moment and hearing Carter bumping into things, the boy felt him slide into the covers and settle. They laid there in an uncomfortable silence, unsure what to say for the moment "So…you said your sister was Jasmine? Must be pretty cool to have a gym leader in the family," Carter said in a hopeful tone, trying to spark a conversation.

"I….I have three gym leaders in my family…my mother, Clair, my grandpa, Pryce, and as you said Jasmine," Hayzel said softly, their faces running through his mind slowly. 

"Ah…that's where you get those eyes from."

"What's that?"

"Clair is well known for not only her battle skills, but her appearance as well. She is ranked one of the most beautiful women in the Johto-Kanto area. You seem to have inherited her eyes, though…I find yours to be more alluring." As he blushed profusely from the comment, Hayzel felt Carter's arm drape lazily around him in sort of hug like gesture, "It must be tough for you…having that sort of pressure."

Hayzel's cheeks instantly began to heat up as he rested his head against the other's shoulder, somehow feeling it was the natural response."Ye..yeah…it's…why I came here. Sort of like running away…I don't think I'm…good enough to be with them. Amphy is the only Pokemon I've ever had…and I didn't train him myself…"

Carter's grip tightened around the boy after he finished his sentence. "You shouldn't feel obligated to be something you don't want to be just because your family is. No one said you had to be a great trainer. I grew up on a farm, and now I'm running my own contracting business. Yes my parents wished I could have stayed to help them, but I rather help others by giving something to them directly than be stuck on my own. Hayzel, you need to find what makes you happy and go with that."

"I…I…" nothing came to his head accept Carter's last sentence. Letting out a sigh, he curled up a bit, careful not to bump into the other. "I don't see how that can work…"

"It's worked for me. I'm doing what I love. I live comfortably, yes, even in this small room, and now I have…well…that's a secret. For now at least." He smiled down at the other, even if he knew the other couldn't see it. From the moment he had laid eyes on the other, he knew Hayzel had something special within him, though he couldn't say what. But whatever it was, he wanted Hayzel to see it for himself. "Good night Hayzel."

"Good…goodnight," the boy replied breathlessly, still trying to absorb Carter's words. 

They turned softly, trying to find the best way to lie together in the small bed. Finally they settled in, Hayzel up against the wall and on his stomach while Carter lay against him, his arm slightly around the other's waist and the bulk of his body against the boy's back. Comforted by the man's warmth and the secure feeling of the other beside him Hayzel drifted off into a deep sleep. 

Feeling the blond's breaths become longer and his muscles relax, Carter tightened his grip around Hayzel and drew the boy in close. He could smell the hint of lavender and vanilla coming from the other, most likely from shampoo or maybe remnants of the other's clothes, causing a memory to blossom forth.
When he was younger, an earthquake happened while he was visiting the light house. The lights had gone out within the tower and a few ghost Pokemon had decided to play around. As he wandered through the lighthouse, he heard someone crying and followed the noise to a small kid who was crying in a corner while a Haunter made scary faces at him. Using the flash light he scared it away and went to the kid's side. Looking up at him with scared teary blue eyes, the boy clung onto Carter and refused to move or let go until the lights came on. 

Something about the other…made him feel like it was his job to guard the other, like a knight. Silently, he sat there with the flash light and scared the ghost Pokemon away while holding onto the young boy. When Carter wasn't shinning his light he was trying to stop the other from crying. He couldn't bear to see the other's beautiful blue eyes so sad, it felt…wrong to him. After a long while, the boy fell asleep in his arms causing him to do the same. 

Before he knew it, it was the dead of night he was on the top floor of the light house under a blanket while a great yellow Pokemon glowed silently while petting Hayzel's head with concern. Noticing Carter awake, the big Pokemon got up and handed him a berry from a small basket and then picked him up and pushed him into the elevator that took him safely to the bottom floor. After that, he never saw the kid again. Of course, he was unable to go back due to being grounded for not coming home. Still, he had always wished to see the other again.

Sighing, he looked down to Hayzel. A beam of moonlight had found its' way into the room and brushed against the boy's soft white face. "Could you be…" he whispered softly to his sleeping friend. "…the one I've been looking for." Sheepishly he rested his head back on their shared pillow and drifted towards sleepy, whispering, "I love you," with his last conscious breath.

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#42 Post by Hayzel »

Double posted again. Sowwy ;=;
Last edited by Hayzel on Wed Aug 31, 2011 1:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

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#43 Post by Hayzel »

Next chapter. Enjoy~

Code: Select all

Happiness II


"Hey watch your step there Hayzel," Carter said frantically as he quickly through his arms around the other's waist to prevent him from falling into a hole in the floor. Gently he began to slide down the wall, the other secure in his arms as two hammers and a crowbar fell from Hayzel's grasp and down to the first floor.

"Oh, Sorry…I forgot that was there." Blushing, Hayzel freed himself of the other's grasp and brushed himself off. "I can't believe how much stuff is in this house! I don't think we'll ever be done."

Carter laughed a bit and started to take off some loose paneling from the wall. They were working in an old dining room that was filled with old china and cooking supplies that had to be sorted through and either given away, sold, or given to low income families. Hayzel had barely finished an eighth of a room when the chandelier collapsed and broke the hole into the floor, thus creating the death trap that he seemed to forget about every time he walked by.

Silently Hayzel sorted through the dishes as Carter busily worked alongside Link, his Magneton, Charger, his Pikachu, and Seeker, his Venamoth. Together, they removed the paneling around the room as the other went from box to box, making sure each set of dishes were being sent to their proper place. 

Having finished the room long before Hazel was even halfway done with the boxes, Carter took a seat on one of the stools and watched him do his job. Getting a bit restless he stood up and began to help sort the dishes, "Hayzel, would you like to leave early today?"

"Can we really do that? There is so much to do," Hayzel said as he continued to sort dishes, blushing every time their hands bumped together.

"I'm the boss here. I think it's okay if we gave ourselves a break every once in a while. Besides, you've been working extra hard, I've had help. How about I take you out somewhere as a treat?"

Looking up at him Hayzel began to shake his head and step away. "You are already doing enough for me. That is too much."

Laughing, the other stood up and led him out of the room and headed toward his truck. "Stop being so shy and come on."

They drove along the streets of the city with Hayzel being silent as always. He could never find the right words when he was alone with Carter, though the other seemed to have no problem. After a moment or two, he pulled up into a small parking lot and led Hayzel to a small restaurant with hardly anyone in it. The room was painted a dark mahogany with little white Christmas lights in small trees next to every table, making it quite hard to see anyone that you weren't sitting with. Leading Hayzel to the back corner of the room, he took a seat in a booth and picked up a menu.
For what seemed like an eternity they sat there. Aside from ordering drinks and some food, it was just the two of them, sitting in complete silence with Carter gazing at Hayzel while the latter tried to pretend not to notice. 
The waitress having set down their salads, Hayzel quickly reached for his fork, desperate to do something that would make him feel less awkward in the situation. To his dismay, Carter caught him by the hand and looked into his eyes with a foreign solemn expression. "Hayzel…do you have a problem with me…"


Flustered, the blond tried to take his hand back gently, but it remained in the other's firm grasp, "Carter…no it's just that…I'm not used to how you treat me…it's embarrassing for me…"

His grip on Hayzel's hand grew a bit tighter as he continued to stare into the boy's eyes, " Hayzel…I never see you smile…I can't stand it."

Unable to find a response, Hayzel sat there and looked at him. Not that anything else the other said was less surprising, this seemed different. Often when he'd make a comment he'd have his trademark smile beaming at him but this time, h wasn't grinning, it was a concerned look, almost sad. 

"Hayzel, since I first saw you , I knew there was something special." Carter's face began to reflect the magenta of the walls. For a while he had rehearsed on how he was going to admit to Hayzel how he felt, but the execution was starting to be more complex than the initial plan. "I can see it in your eyes…Listen, I…I want to make you smile. I want to see you happy, and I want to be the person who makes you that way."

Hayzel looked down , unsure how to respond. Over in over all he could think was "could he really feel that way?" Still unable to make a response, he went into autopilot and began to just talk. "I'm nothing special Carter…I'm not smart, strong or good looking, I'm just average. There is no reason for you to feel like that…"

Giving out a great sigh, Carter began to eat his food while Hayzel sat silently and full of guilt. After paying the check the two drove us back to the apartment, unable to speak to the other.

Not knowing what to do Hayzel sat on the bed and watched Carter as he stood in the doorway and stared off into the abyss. In truth, if he felt that he could be happy for Carter he would. But his feeling of inadequacy ruled him completely. 
Carter sighed and came back in then reached into his closet then placed a small sleeping Togeii on the bed before the other. Hearing an old tale about the Pokemon, he got one for Hayzel in hopes it could bring the two together. Taking a seat behind Hayzel, Carter wrapped his arms around his chest and looked up at the ceiling. "A proverb claims that happiness will come to anyone who can make a sleeping Togepi stand up…and only those who have a good heart are able to do so. I want you to make it stand up. I got him for you because I know you have a good heart…"

"Don't be silly Carter...That's just a superstition " Hayzel said looking back at his friend, making eye contact for the first time since dinner.

"I'm serious…at least humor me. If you prove me wrong I won't bother you about this again…"

Sighing, Hayzel turned his attention to the sleeping Pokemon and carefully poked its' shell and watched it wiggle. "What if I…what if I do it...then what…"
"I get to kiss you."
Hayzel's face immediately broke out with a red undertone. "Fine…but I told you. I'm nothing special, it will wake up…" Taking a deep breath, he gently lifted its arms up and raised it to its toes. Expectign it to wake up or fall back down he let go he turned to Carter, not making eye contact "See. I couldn't do it."

Laughing a bit, Carter pointed past him to show that it had continued to upright. After a moment or so it gently fell to its feet, undisturbed. Stunned, Hayzel sat there and watched it. After a moment or so it let out a soft "Pree" and rolled over to snuggle into the boy's lap. Fixated on the small creature, he began to pet it gently as it quietly snoozed against his lap, making small purr like noises. Noticing it's contentment at his touch, a small shy smile crept across the boy's face.

"There…that's what I've wanted to see." Carter said as he wrapped his arms around Hayzel's waist and then leaned back. "You have a beautiful smile, just like I thought.."

"I.. uh…thanks…"

Grinning down at the other, he ruffled Hayzel's hair and got up to turn off the lights and prepare for bed. 
Quietly the blond sat there…conflicted about what he should say. Letting his emotions take hold, he sat the Togepi safely out of the way, stood up and hugged Carter from behind. "Thank you….thank you for worrying about me and helping me all the time…I'm sorry…I just have trouble expressing it. "

Turning around he hugged the other back then slid into bed without saying anything followed by Hayzel.

"Hayzel…"

"Yeah…"

"You still owe me that kiss." Shifting the covers around, he moved Hayzel over a bit then gingerly, rolled him back, letting the other rest his against his bare chest and intertwined their legs together. "I thought…it might be a little more comfortable this way."

Blushing once more, Hayzel hid his face against Carter's chest and listened to the quiet murmur of his heart beating as he felt the other's arms wrap around him. The boy's mind became still as each breath he took lured him into sleep, only to be interrupted by Carter tilting his chin up slowly. 
Pressing his lips against the other's, he felt Hayzel tremor slightly followed by the boy's hands slowly sliding up his chest to grip his shoulders. The other kissed him back clumsily, moaning slightly due to being sensitive to every movement Carter made. Breaking the kiss the older male looked down, into the other's face. "You're so cute when you blush."
Blushing harder, Hayzel dug his face into the other's shoulder. "Don't say things like that…it's too dark too see me anyway.
Laughing, Carter smiled and closed his eyes. "Good night…"

"…good night."

Letting Hayzel fall asleep before him, Carter blushed and gave the other another kiss before whispering "I love you" and falling asleep himself.

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#44 Post by Blue Lemma »

Good clean look on the line art, but there are too many straight lines, esp. around the torso. More curves will give a more realistic/organic look.
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#45 Post by Hayzel »

Blue Lemma wrote:Good clean look on the line art, but there are too many straight lines, esp. around the torso. More curves will give a more realistic/organic look.
Alright ^.^ <3 Which are you talking about XD?

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