Abeiramar's music (critic please) [UPDATED 13/07/11]

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Abeiramar
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Abeiramar's music (critic please) [UPDATED 13/07/11]

#1 Post by Abeiramar »

Aww... Sadly I'm not being active at the forums because of my exams :( .
Anyway, I've been slowly working on the visual novel Cadência, and I decided to compose the music.

I didn't receive any opinions yet so I guess my music is.... no good.

Soundtracks:
Here, now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_BKwp2VfRE
Mystery: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yLFVqrhRPw
Marble Palace: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tfo0Te96dpk (violin and piano)
Every Corner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJF_Z3yuCcE
I have more but this will do for now.

I composed them all with FL Studio. They are all short songs. If you listened to at least one of them, please send me comments. I would like to know if they're alright or awful for a visual novel :lol: .

MORE SONGS 13/07/11
Broken Accordion:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6nkHTqWUO0
Description: A lonely accordion playing and some bizarre tune trowed in the middle. I think this one is good because it just conveys one feeling.
Sinister:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm1esmP6_Mw
Description: Chimes and then what sounds like a robot crying. There's some sort of percussion and a piano too.
Last edited by Abeiramar on Wed Jul 13, 2011 5:25 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Abeiramar's music (critic please)

#2 Post by emihaumut »

The first one seems to have some tempo issues with the melody at least. The beginning also has very sudden breaks which disrupt the flow of the long notes.

I'm not sure how I feel about the second one. There's something off but I can't quite put my finger on it. Sorry. ^^;

The third one feels like it ends really abruptly, but that might work out if/when you loop the music.

The last one sounds pretty solid to me, but I have very little experience in music, lol. I probably should have mentioned that earlier.

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Re: Abeiramar's music (critic please)

#3 Post by Abeiramar »

emihaumut wrote:The first one seems to have some tempo issues with the melody at least. The beginning also has very sudden breaks which disrupt the flow of the long notes.

I'm not sure how I feel about the second one. There's something off but I can't quite put my finger on it. Sorry. ^^;

The third one feels like it ends really abruptly, but that might work out if/when you loop the music.

The last one sounds pretty solid to me, but I have very little experience in music, lol. I probably should have mentioned that earlier.
Aww, thank you very much for your comment :D :D .

First: Yeah, now that you mention it, the breaks are kinda annoying. I was trying to do something different but the overall song ended up to be kinda weird. I should fix that.

Second: Maybe it sounds odd because it starts slow and there are some parts that are really fast. Hmn...

Third: The instruments all play the same notes over and over again, ahah... I will loop this song.

Fourth: You liked the last one? Thanks! Like the third song most instruments are always playing the same notes over and over again.

Don't worry about not understanding music, I probably know as much as you or less! Besides, you were really helpful, thanks.

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Re: Abeiramar's music (critic please)

#4 Post by Bear »

Preface: I do not make music, or have any understanding of music theory. I have just created a few terrible songs in my spare time.

First Song: I completely agree with the previous poster; melody issues & breaks at beginning.

Second Song: I only really like everything from 0:21 onward. This is not to say that a slow part would not work in this song, just that the melody in the slow part is kind of abstract and hard to follow. Also, I can't quite make heads or tails as to whether the kick drum used in quick succession to accompany the fast part should be there or not. I think there should be some kind of percussion there, but maybe not what you have right now; I am not sure about this criticism.
sidenote: Never though of using the same melody across multiple instruments; it works well in this song (especially the violin at the end). I think I need to implement this in some of my songs.

Third Song: no comment, other than I didn't really like it.

Fourth Song: The best of the bunch. The only issue I have is with the piano at certain parts in the track, it sounds like it has reached the end of its loop and there is too large of a break. I'm talking specifically about the parts at 0:36-0:37, and 0:40-0:41.

Again, better than what I have done, so take this feedback for what you will; some (or all) of my criticisms may not be very meaningful.
Last edited by Bear on Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:30 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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Re: Abeiramar's music (critic please)

#5 Post by NatsukiDeath »

Wow some funk beats but tweaking around with them and you would have some killer music
nothing to bad all seem quite good but hard to find how these would settle in a setting but hey might inspire a new idea of things!~
but I love the last one but drops at the ends (made me miss it so much XD)

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Re: Abeiramar's music (critic please)

#6 Post by matheus »

I haven't done any music, so be warned.

Here, now: I think you're going quite fast,
0:00-0:12 one mood
0:13-0:26 other
0:27-0:39 other
0:40-0:52 other until the end,
then I tried to loop but it didn't went well, which I think it's important since you're making music for a game.

I got this music, it changes on 0:15 and stays the same until 1:23, where it kinda starts again.
You could try with something with less instruments like this one, and adding more when you get used to them.

Mystery: I don't liked the first instrument at all, something that beats replacing it will make the song a lot better.
the other thing and 0:42 forward was good.
This song has the thing I was saying, and a 0:42 moment at 1:20 (and for me the good part of the song ends at 1:33).

Marble Palace: It was very good, until the alien whistle came along, the ending was a little too loud.

Every Corner: a lot of moods again, but they worked better than the first song. :D

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Re: Abeiramar's music (critic please)

#7 Post by Abeiramar »

Woww, three comments *___* <3 .
Thanks guys!
All your critics are very helpful and I will have them in mind when fixing the songs :D .

Bear wrote: First Song: I completely agree with the previous poster; melody issues & breaks at beginning.
Here, now: I think you're going quite fast,
0:00-0:12 one mood
0:13-0:26 other
0:27-0:39 other
0:40-0:52 other until the end,
then I tried to loop but it didn't went well, which I think it's important since you're making music for a game.

I got this music, it changes on 0:15 and stays the same until 1:23, where it kinda starts again.
You could try with something with less instruments like this one, and adding more when you get used to them.
I ended up to fix this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bn_cEy7VjA4

I removed the breaks and a lot of instruments (because the instruments were conveying different moods). Now, I think it's a more proper atmosphere soundtrack. It still doesn't look good looped though @_@ . I will think of a better way to turn this song better later.
Matheus, the songs you gave me are exactly what I'm trying to aim for, those were lovely examples ♥. I will try to compose something like it.
Second Song: I only really like everything from 0:21 onward. This is not to say that a slow part would not work in this song, just that the melody in the slow part is kind of abstract and hard to follow. Also, I can't quite make heads or tails as to whether the kick drum used in quick succession to accompany the fast part should be there or not. I think there should be some kind of percussion there, but maybe not what you have right now; I am not sure about this criticism.
sidenote: Never though of using the same melody across multiple instruments; it works well in this song (especially the violin at the end). I think I need to implement this in some of my songs.
Mystery: I don't liked the first instrument at all, something that beats replacing it will make the song a lot better.
the other thing and 0:42 forward was good.
This song has the thing I was saying, and a 0:42 moment at 1:20 (and for me the good part of the song ends at 1:33).
I've been editing this song but I don't know what to do with it anymore :o . The percussions sounds like a racing heartbeat which is kinda bizarre and out of context. I will replace it. This kind of violin I used at the end (0:42 forward) sounds good with everything which is amazing.
The first instrument? Yeah, I see it now! It sounds like a old grandpa guitar and it doesn't go well with the other instruments at all. I will change it.
Ahhh... Umineko's BGMs are wonderful :o . Maybe I should start taking notes of its songs!
Third Song: no comment, other than I didn't really like it.
Marble Palace: It was very good, until the alien whistle came along, the ending was a little too loud.
After listening to it for a dozen times, I agree that whistle is annoying at best :? . I'm going to remove it.
Fourth Song: The best of the bunch. The only issue I have is with the piano at certain parts in the track, it sounds like it has reached the end of its loop and there is too large of a break. I'm talking specifically about the parts at 0:36-0:37, and 0:40-0:41.
Every Corner: a lot of moods again, but they worked better than the first song.
I'm surprised people like the last one :o . It conveys a lot of emotions indeed and it's kinda fast at it. I'm going to fix the breaks and remove some instruments.
Wow some funk beats but tweaking around with them and you would have some killer music
nothing to bad all seem quite good but hard to find how these would settle in a setting but hey might inspire a new idea of things!~
but I love the last one but drops at the ends (made me miss it so much XD)
I see where you are trying to get at, some of the soundtracks convey so many different feelings that is hard to place them in a setting. I still have a lot to learn! I think I will watch more tutorials lol.

MORE SONGS

Broken Accordion:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6nkHTqWUO0
Description: A lonely accordion playing and some bizarre tune trowed in the middle. I think this one is good because it just conveys one feeling.

Sinister:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm1esmP6_Mw
Description: Chimes and then what sounds like a robot crying. There's some sort of percussion and piano too.

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Re: Abeiramar's music (critic please) [UPDATED 13/07/11]

#8 Post by matheus »

They were okay (paino+drums is a little odd to me)

accordion made me remember of old rpgs, but i haven't found the musics this time,

time to make them longer? idk.

I tried to make one myself with one instrument and it did not end well at all :lol:, now I know how much it's hard to make them long. :cry:

Good luck with Cadência @.@.

I know I'm not being very useful here, hope someone will find how to improve the new ones. ;x

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Re: Abeiramar's music (critic please) [UPDATED 13/07/11]

#9 Post by Abeiramar »

matheus wrote:They were okay (paino+drums is a little odd to me)

accordion made me remember of old rpgs, but i haven't found the musics this time,

time to make them longer? idk.

I tried to make one myself with one instrument and it did not end well at all :lol:, now I know how much it's hard to make them long. :cry:

Good luck with Cadência @.@.

I know I'm not being very useful here, hope someone will find how to improve the new ones. ;x
No problem, I have been listening and watching tutorials and I've been learning lots of new things:
http://flstudio.gptuts.com/ <--- tutorials

I didn't know you used FL Studio too :D ! The song you created reminds me of an old school rpg, like, when the main character enters the Royal Palace :P . The song has some breaks though, the tempo is very slow.

Thanks for wishing me good luck! Here's the drawing of the youtube videos I used, I removed some mistakes and fixed the colors:
Attachments
Wingless Clara.png

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Re: Abeiramar's music (critic please) [UPDATED 13/07/11]

#10 Post by yummy »

I've been listening to some of your songs.
For now, it seems very experimental because of the choice of instruments. You have been mixing traditional instruments (piano, strings) with electronic ones without transitions, which results generally into something unpleasant to hear.

Also, your themes have this common thing: they don't feel like they have a main theme. It looks like you are throwing notes in a random aspect, and while it's neither bad nor exceptional, you end up feeling there's something lacky.
The important thing is to begin with is to elaborate something like a skeleton.

Music composition has this side in common with drawing, and I think you will understand that when you're drawing, you're sticking with your aesthetics. You wouldn't use a marker when you're painting with oil (well you can, but this is another matter ^^).
You might want to define a main instrument, that carries your man theme. Somehow, we are made so that when we listen to music, we try to find where the music theme is articulated. It can be a focus on rhythmics, with the association of bass and drums, a crescendo, etc.

For example, for you theme "Here, now":
You're starting with a church organ. This instrument has strong connotations according to its context.
It has the poser to give a groovy style to a song. Used as a main instrument, it's fit for official and traditional occasions.
I'd suggest you removed it, or place it later in your theme (that's what I do when I feel it's out of place).
The strings you use at 0:11 is a great improvement.

Strings have this power to give immediate atmosphere. It can be joyful, sad, introspective, etc.
The combination you're using suggests an epic progression. It is kinda slow and you shouldn't rush things in this kind of situation.
You might want to add higher notes with strings in order to add more variation. You should keep the same chord progression when you place such notes (don't worry, you will certainly hear if the note you use does not fit, it sound kinda awful to hear).

After 0:45, your electronic piano gets completely random and it's hard to listen because it is rushed. You shouldn't rush things, the atmosphere you were creating gets totally wasted there.

So for this song, you should not rush things, give it time to develop.
Some additional instrument tips:
You might want to use this set of instruments:
- Bass: either a contrabass, either an acoustic bass if you want to continue using strings as a skeletton, or an electric bass if you want to be able to switch music style.
- flute: it brings an intense atmosphere, it acts like an enhancer. (possibly japanese flute).
- piano: it is one of the most expressive instruments. You can have lots of variations, a wide style range, lots of possibilities. (other keyboards like concert piano, e.piano are fine too).
- percussions: you must master timpani if you want to enter epic progression. You might want to switch to rock drumset if you don't want though. (possibly jazz drumset)
- atmospheric pads: with relatively slow development ones. They are very useful to fill for gaps, create an atmosphere on their own if you're making breaks.

So far your song isn't bad. But it is clearly unfinished. Don't feel down, be creative, there's a clear improvement between the first version and the second one.

Well, I hope I don't sound haughty or so, since I'm an amateur in this field too ^^

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Re: Abeiramar's music (critic please) [UPDATED 13/07/11]

#11 Post by Abeiramar »

yummy wrote:I've been listening to some of your songs.
For now, it seems very experimental because of the choice of instruments. You have been mixing traditional instruments (piano, strings) with electronic ones without transitions, which results generally into something unpleasant to hear.

Also, your themes have this common thing: they don't feel like they have a main theme. It looks like you are throwing notes in a random aspect, and while it's neither bad nor exceptional, you end up feeling there's something lacky.
The important thing is to begin with is to elaborate something like a skeleton.

Music composition has this side in common with drawing, and I think you will understand that when you're drawing, you're sticking with your aesthetics. You wouldn't use a marker when you're painting with oil (well you can, but this is another matter ^^).
You might want to define a main instrument, that carries your man theme. Somehow, we are made so that when we listen to music, we try to find where the music theme is articulated. It can be a focus on rhythmics, with the association of bass and drums, a crescendo, etc.

For example, for you theme "Here, now":
You're starting with a church organ. This instrument has strong connotations according to its context.
It has the poser to give a groovy style to a song. Used as a main instrument, it's fit for official and traditional occasions.
I'd suggest you removed it, or place it later in your theme (that's what I do when I feel it's out of place).
The strings you use at 0:11 is a great improvement.

Strings have this power to give immediate atmosphere. It can be joyful, sad, introspective, etc.
The combination you're using suggests an epic progression. It is kinda slow and you shouldn't rush things in this kind of situation.
You might want to add higher notes with strings in order to add more variation. You should keep the same chord progression when you place such notes (don't worry, you will certainly hear if the note you use does not fit, it sound kinda awful to hear).

After 0:45, your electronic piano gets completely random and it's hard to listen because it is rushed. You shouldn't rush things, the atmosphere you were creating gets totally wasted there.

So for this song, you should not rush things, give it time to develop.
Some additional instrument tips:
You might want to use this set of instruments:
- Bass: either a contrabass, either an acoustic bass if you want to continue using strings as a skeletton, or an electric bass if you want to be able to switch music style.
- flute: it brings an intense atmosphere, it acts like an enhancer. (possibly japanese flute).
- piano: it is one of the most expressive instruments. You can have lots of variations, a wide style range, lots of possibilities. (other keyboards like concert piano, e.piano are fine too).
- percussions: you must master timpani if you want to enter epic progression. You might want to switch to rock drumset if you don't want though. (possibly jazz drumset)
- atmospheric pads: with relatively slow development ones. They are very useful to fill for gaps, create an atmosphere on their own if you're making breaks.

So far your song isn't bad. But it is clearly unfinished. Don't feel down, be creative, there's a clear improvement between the first version and the second one.

Well, I hope I don't sound haughty or so, since I'm an amateur in this field too ^^
Sorry for answering so late and thanks for taking time to help me.
I've been composing music but nothing so far pleases me. It always sounds like something is missing in the song :( .
Thank very much for your set of instruments, I will have them in mind when composing my next song.
I downloaded your version, I liked it a lot *_* .

Here's a song thingy I did yesterday, I tried to make a "skeleton", but it didn't come out very well, it still feels incomplete somehow:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPadDSrzBLU <-- Too darn repetitive (?) The main melody is too short
I still can't choose instruments well, so I think your list will be helpful.

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Re: Abeiramar's music (critic please) [UPDATED 13/07/11]

#12 Post by yummy »

I listened to your tune. This time it has a set main theme, but the timings are off.
You're starting with a set pattern... To describe it into words, it makes some sort of *bam*ba-bam*bam*bam*bi-bam*
And the "bi" is somehow out of place.
In other words, you're introducing semi-notes where you shouldn't and because of this, it breaks the tempo equilibrum.

to illustrate this, lets refer to this crappy illustration:
tempo = 120
4/4
[-_-_-_-_][-_-_-_-_][-_-_-_-_][-_-_-_-_]

you can put your notes in any way, but it has to respect the tempo. There is a notion of dynamics and equilibrum here.
Let's say the "-" represent a quarter note
You've placed your drums at the start of every measure. That means you have to respect a certain rythm.

To really grasp this notion, there is a simpler method: you might want to go to http://www.jamstudio.com/Studio/index.htm
This site is great for experimentation, to learn how to grasp how the chords go altogether, how to imagine how to put instruments...
At least it's good for beginning to have a rough sketch. Then you might want to transpose it into your favorite tracker.

The default tempo is 120, with 4/4 beats. That's exactly the settings you have for the song you are trying to compose.

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Re: Abeiramar's music (critic please) [UPDATED 13/07/11]

#13 Post by Abeiramar »

yummy wrote:I listened to your tune. This time it has a set main theme, but the timings are off.
You're starting with a set pattern... To describe it into words, it makes some sort of *bam*ba-bam*bam*bam*bi-bam*
And the "bi" is somehow out of place.
In other words, you're introducing semi-notes where you shouldn't and because of this, it breaks the tempo equilibrum.

to illustrate this, lets refer to this crappy illustration:
tempo = 120
4/4
[-_-_-_-_][-_-_-_-_][-_-_-_-_][-_-_-_-_]

you can put your notes in any way, but it has to respect the tempo. There is a notion of dynamics and equilibrum here.
Let's say the "-" represent a quarter note
You've placed your drums at the start of every measure. That means you have to respect a certain rythm.

To really grasp this notion, there is a simpler method: you might want to go to http://www.jamstudio.com/Studio/index.htm
This site is great for experimentation, to learn how to grasp how the chords go altogether, how to imagine how to put instruments...
At least it's good for beginning to have a rough sketch. Then you might want to transpose it into your favorite tracker.

The default tempo is 120, with 4/4 beats. That's exactly the settings you have for the song you are trying to compose.
You seem to understand a lot about about music, you're so cool *A* . Yeah, the tempo is 120 bpm. I modified the song and changed the note that sounded off:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3r0qZzuJDGc
I also changed most instruments, I think it sounds better now.
It still sounds very amateurish but with time I think I will be able to improve...

JamStudio is amazing, I always click random buttons and something awesome sounding always comes out @_@ .

By the way, do you know any tutorials or foruns that are helpful for creating music?
Or do you know any great soundtracks that are worth giving a listening to?

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Re: Abeiramar's music (critic please) [UPDATED 13/07/11]

#14 Post by yummy »

Gaah, you're really near creating a tune that will sound quite good. Your timings for the drums are a little late there ^^ you should simply put the bass drum at the beginning of measures instead of its current position (it sounds off).
But it comes now very nicely and you're now on the good path. Keep up the good work!

Unfortunately, I don't know any tutorials or forums dedicated to music composing. They might exist but strangely, I've never felt the need to consult them... (I know I'm weird).
As for music I'd recommend... Well, it depends on what style you like the most!

I recommend you to listen to Orito Shinji's compositions (Kanon, AIR, Clannad OST) for a greater comprehension about how to create atmospherical loops, Anime OP & ED to get to know how to create intense atmosphere really quickly, metal guitar to get to know how to create wonderful solo, classical music (I particularly like Brahms compositions since they are about romantism), jazz music to perfect instrument tempo and intra-communication...

Please note that this list is not exhaustive. There are lots and lots of music styles, each with their own forte, evolutions you wouldn't have predicted else (like south america music that I tend to favor these days)...

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