what do you think now? (GxB VN game)

[xxcautionxx]

-Edited 24/08-
I Edited It

OK so the story of the game goes like this:

Asami is a 16 year girl whose life has been boring and dull. Suddenly, she finds out that they´re moving away... to a (not so) small, not-well-known country (that definitely has influence over world economy ;3 ) named Emelay! The reason for this sudden change? Long ago in Emelay, her father was next-in-line for the throne of one of the kingdoms of Emelay, since his older brother was not completely part of the family. He rejected the throne, eloped with Asami´s mother and moved to Japan. Asami´s mom doesn´t want Asami to not know of her past (and she’s a romance-freak, wants to marry her daughter off already tsk tsk ) , but to regain her title, she needs the proper education. It just so happens, that the dad´s older brother is the headmaster of one of the most recognized schools for teaching those of royal and wealthy lineage, Laurelton Hall Academy. Her parents tell her she has to go to LH Academy, since it would be troublesome for other families and their own to find out about them from other school systems. She finally agrees to go. When she arrives at the school, she realizes one crucial fact her parents didn´t tell her... it´s an all-guy school! Well, she had always wanted an interesting life... right?

By the way, her dad has double intentions ;3 I´m not saying what it is though xD

so...to the people that already commented, what do you think?

[Snowflower]

I think it's a little bit overdone, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't play it

The school name is very creative. I like it XD I'll tell you that Ren will be my face.

[manga_otaku]

Interesting...what I want to know is why her parents would send her to an all-boys boarding school anyway xD

[Auro-Cyanide]

Frankly speaking, no, I probably wouldn't. Doesn't mean you shouldn't make it of course, I'm probably just not your target audience. There would be people who would play it and those are the one's you need to focus on.

I would also suggest being... careful with artists. Don't forget that this is your project and not their's and so you will have to work to keep them interested (unless you are paying). With skill comes rarity, especially in this niche, and so the better artists are in demand and can pick what projects they want to work on. I mostly advise you being nice, listening to them and perhaps try to give something in return. There is nothing stopping an artist from leaving if they get annoyed and the best way to avoid that is to make them feel involved.

[Stripe]

Oh, heck yeah, I would! This is the kind of thing I'd love... XD

[xxcautionxx]

I think it's a little bit overdone, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't play it

The school name is very creative. I like it XD I'll tell you that Ren will be my face.

haha thanks oh but how is it overdone? like the characters or the story itself? i want this game to be something enjoyable and not too too deep, its supposed to be like a comedy thing
lol hes gonna be your face? < this made me laugh, cause i love typos ( wait... is it?? O_o" )

Interesting...what I want to know is why her parents would send her to an all-boys boarding school anyway xD

haha its actually a really funny (in my opinion) reason xDD

Frankly speaking, no, I probably wouldn't. Doesn't mean you shouldn't make it of course, I'm probably just not your target audience. There would be people who would play it and those are the one's you need to focus on.

I would also suggest being... careful with artists. Don't forget that this is your project and not their's and so you will have to work to keep them interested (unless you are paying). With skill comes rarity, especially in this niche, and so the better artists are in demand and can pick what projects they want to work on. I mostly advise you being nice, listening to them and perhaps try to give something in return. There is nothing stopping an artist from leaving if they get annoyed and the best way to avoid that is to make them feel involved.

really? so what kind of type games do you like (my curiousity speaking xD ) i know theres different audiences like the ones who like a deep game, and others who dont want anything serious, etc.. and yes, thank you for your advise on the audience. i´ve been reading comments and forums non-stop last night from 6pm-5am and i sorta have an idea of what i should do and what i shouldnt, and honeslty, i thought nobody would even comment on this, i guess im a little negative sometimes XD but to conclude my endless ranting, thank you
PS it there a limit on how many people you can quote?

Oh, heck yeah, I would! This is the kind of thing I'd love... XD

me too! -highfives- xD

[wingzofdarkness]

No, I probably wouldn't play this game. It is a little too cliche for me and having a female singled out by men is not really my "cup of tea". However, you shouldn't let this stop you from doing something you enjoy. Who knows, it might turn out better than how I am assuming it to be. I have never come across anything that has entirely been dislike, so you will have readers for sure.

[MaiMai]

I'm pretty unsure of the summary overall and if I had to choose whether I'd play this or not... Honestly, I would try it, but the premise you've come up with is disappointing really. The plot sounds more like your average shoujo manga I'd at least skim through than a visual novel I would want to get immersed in and get to know the characters.

We've all been there-- Japanese high school (c'mon why does it have to be Japanese?) , your 'unique' love interest choices' no parents on the scene.... And an all boys school to top it all off. It's a highly contrived plot overall and even if there will be some people who take interest in your game it's not going to be mind blowing as far as story is concerned (unless you make it a parody, then you better have a good sense of humor to make fun of the shoujo genre). When reading your plot summary, I don't feel like I'm reading about a potential story, I feel like I'm reading a bunch of typical tropes. But if this is what you're willing to work with, you can go with it. There are people here who have clearly expressed their interest at least. And as far as anyone's concerned, you're not going to be able to please everyone with what you got; that would be pretty impossible.

I am all for GxB games, but you shouldn't be afraid to stretch your imagination a little bit more or think of a small twist to make your game a bit more interesting. Again, using RE: Alistair++ as an example, it's a GxB game taking place at a high school, but the twist is that the protagonist Merui encounters all her possible love interests during her quest of gamer revenge. It's her motivations that make her encounters with each of the boys interesting as well as the personality clashes.

[Cidz]

well I've liked animes with a girl that goes to an all-boys school before so sure I'd play this. good luck!

[xxcautionxx]

We've all been there-- Japanese high school (c'mon why does it have to be Japanese?).

technically its not in japan but the names in japanese xD hmm well i have been thinking why i made it a japanese name, its because i like the ring to it, and since these types of games were originated over ther, i wanted to keep it basic,,, i dont know if that is reason enough tho

[MaiMai]

We've all been there-- Japanese high school (c'mon why does it have to be Japanese?).

technically its not in japan but the names in japanese xD hmm well i have been thinking why i made it a japanese name, its because i like the ring to it, and since these types of games were originated over ther, i wanted to keep it basic,,, i dont know if that is reason enough tho

Well, yes it's not really a good reason even if there's plenty of Japanese manga that have settings that aren't necessarily Japanese even though the characters have Japanese names. We actually had a good discussion about using certain names in this particular thread which I think you may find enlightening.

If your story isn't taking place in Japan you may have to review your overall setting and environment where it's taking place-- and if you still want to use Japanese names, think of a reason why it's primarily Japanese and what influences made it that way.

[xxcautionxx]

We've all been there-- Japanese high school (c'mon why does it have to be Japanese?).

technically its not in japan but the names in japanese xD hmm well i have been thinking why i made it a japanese name, its because i like the ring to it, and since these types of games were originated over ther, i wanted to keep it basic,,, i dont know if that is reason enough tho

Well, yes it's not really a good reason even if there's plenty of Japanese manga that have settings that aren't necessarily Japanese even though the characters have Japanese names. We actually had a good discussion about using certain names in this particular thread which I think you may find enlightening.

If your story isn't taking place in Japan you may have to review your overall setting and environment where it's taking place-- and if you still want to use Japanese names, think of a reason why it's primarily Japanese and what influences made it that way.

thank for that thread, i found it very interesting. and its true that my reasons werent good enough. At the beginning i wanted the setting to be somewhere in the united kingdom, becouse of the royalty there, but then i kinda wanted the names to be japanese, because the name they have right now have their meanings, as in Ren being the main guy character and a tsundere, i decided on his surname to be takehiko, which means hero prince, hero for being main chara, and because of an event that happens later in the story, and prince for being ... ehh.. a prince? xD and i´ve also been thinking about the plot, even tho most of the setting, plot, and some parts of the characters are cliche is some ways, i think that as long as they represent their uniqueness in game, that it would be interesting, because i wanna make them characters that leave a lasting imppression, like "wow, i would have never thought of him/her doing something like that, even tho the personalities they have are really "over used" its like if its still a completly different person" or so i imagine. wow im sorry for the long post, i guess i just really wanna show my way of thinking, even though im still an amateur, oh and just in case, its not like im contradicting you or anything, im REALLY new and your like, a really devoted person to this forum and towards helping people out. im really gratefull for all your help.
m(_ _ )m

[miyoyan]

(:33> Yeah, I know I'm currently involved in this project, but as my role now is almost non-existent I'll give you my opinion anyway)

Saying it's in G.Britain and using Japanese names may be too much. But most people won't recognise the meaning behind Japanese names anyway if the VN is in English, so it will come across more as an obscure pun than something you can play with. Select whatever setting you want. You can bend reality's rules and make it an Alternative Universe -- say, come up with your own names with meanings from latin, anglosaxon, greek, etc etc roots. (For that is useful to look for the etymology of same names to see how they are usually constructed. For example, I've found that most masculine names in modern Greek end in -os with the meaningful bit before. So for some variety I wouldn't give all my characters Greek names). Actually, I find the AU concept underused sometimes -- just make sure it IS an alternative universe and that doesn't look like... well, 'I wanted British royalty with Japanese names!'. At least have some off-hand explanation in-game

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for my appointment <_< shouldn't write these things when I'm short on time!

Will edit later on other things but I think that is the most important. All boys school could be great if used well (Tropes Are Tools -- TvTropes.org), absent parents are... a bit too much, since there can be a reason to include them in the story without them actually intruding and f I should have left long ago

[azureXtwilight]

Sounds pretty much like starry sky... Which I detest XD But if you can come out with something revolutionary, then I'm interested~

[xxcautionxx]

(:33> Yeah, I know I'm currently involved in this project, but as my role now is almost non-existent I'll give you my opinion anyway)

Saying it's in G.Britain and using Japanese names may be too much. But most people won't recognise the meaning behind Japanese names anyway if the VN is in English, so it will come across more as an obscure pun than something you can play with. Select whatever setting you want. You can bend reality's rules and make it an Alternative Universe -- say, come up with your own names with meanings from latin, anglosaxon, greek, etc etc roots. (For that is useful to look for the etymology of same names to see how they are usually constructed. For example, I've found that most masculine names in modern Greek end in -os with the meaningful bit before. So for some variety I wouldn't give all my characters Greek names). Actually, I find the AU concept underused sometimes -- just make sure it IS an alternative universe and that doesn't look like... well, 'I wanted British royalty with Japanese names!'. At least have some off-hand explanation in-game

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for my appointment <_< shouldn't write these things when I'm short on time!

Will edit later on other things but I think that is the most important. All boys school could be great if used well (Tropes Are Tools -- TvTropes.org), absent parents are... a bit too much, since there can be a reason to include them in the story without them actually intruding and f I should have left long ago

lol thanks xDD
yeah that is a good idea, and yeah the names and setting have no connection watsoever, hmmm so would a solution be using english names, like... gareth? eugene? GRARFIELD? no wait i think wat you mean is like their last names right? so i can keep the first names :3 ? haha sorry for making you late for your appointment ;3 oh and the parents arent absent xD they´re the ones who made all of this happen ! xDD they just are very good at hiding ;3

Sounds pretty much like starry sky... Which I detest XD But if you can come out with something revolutionary, then I'm interested~

hmmm... starry sky? ehh then i think i have a lot of work to do xD the starry sky anime really let me down, i couldnt watch past episode 4 i think. hanks for your opinion :3
PS i really REALLY like Fantasia Realm of Thanos, i only need one more ending ;3
LOL Oswald xD