Should I keep writing this? With script and more info.

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risingdreams
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Should I keep writing this? With script and more info.

#1 Post by risingdreams » Sat Sep 24, 2011 5:26 pm

Posting updated version of the script.

Forgive me, but I'm writing a script I would like someone to take a look, and tell if it's worth continuing. If this isn't the right place, please tell me and I'll delete it. The script is here for download. I'm writing it in a way it'll be better to make into an actual game script later on. I kind of have an idea of what's going to happen, but I would rather only discuss it by PM.

The game would be called "Corrupted Data", for reasons explained early in the game.

Right now, the protagonist's gender is left in the open. I initially I intended the game to be BL, but come to think about it, it could be otome as well. Or it could be left ambiguous wheter the protagonist is male or female.

The protagonist is haunting a school (I'm calling it boarding school, but it's actually a school with dorms - and only guys can stay at the dorms), and counts with the help of a medium to find out why s/he's not able to move on to the afterlife. Then a new student who seems to be a medium as well shows up, a second ghost starts haunting the school and things go to hell pretty fast.

I'm aiming for mystery, romance and it's set in Japan for practical reasons: I could only find background CGs from Japanese sites. I will be doing my research, though.

Could someone please help me? It's not recruiting/betaing yet because I don't know wheter I should continue to work on that game or not.

(The lyrics previously in the script were taken from http://www.songs-lyrics.com/lyrics_page6.html, but I changed it for a nursery rhyme I found online).
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Last edited by risingdreams on Sat Nov 19, 2011 8:11 pm, edited 21 times in total.
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Re: About a scripting I'm writing...

#2 Post by NewMember » Sat Sep 24, 2011 7:58 pm

It seems too direct how does this sound.

Hikaru is a game about a poltergeist named Hikaru who resides in NashVille boarding school. She is also an acquaintance of a medium called Ryoma who is trying to help Hikaru recover his/her memories before he/she died which is hard considering the fact that all he/she can remember before dying is dying. A new student comes one day and spices things up.

Right now I think there is not enough material to tell whether you should continue this game or not.

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Re: About a scripting I'm writing...

#3 Post by risingdreams » Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:46 pm

NewMember wrote:It seems too direct how does this sound.

Hikaru is a game about a poltergeist named Hikaru who resides in NashVille boarding school. She is also an acquaintance of a medium called Ryoma who is trying to help Hikaru recover his/her memories before he/she died which is hard considering the fact that all he/she can remember before dying is dying. A new student comes one day and spices things up.

Right now I think there is not enough material to tell whether you should continue this game or not.
I have bits of the script. I would like someone to take a look at it. Also edited with more info.
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Re: Should I keep writing this? With script and more info.

#4 Post by NewMember » Wed Sep 28, 2011 11:10 pm

Seems more like an adventure game story though it is nice. What I really like to see is profiles for the main characters. This story could work I suppose it is pretty well done for now. The only problem is how linear the options are for example in the first two options the ghost talks to the medium. How about making the medium have different comments on what the ghost says to him for each option.

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