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- ssǝʇunoƆ ʇɹ∀
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It sounds okay to me and I do have a bit of a soft spot for stories with demons (even if they are a bit overdone). The whole demon inside someone has been done a lot after all. My main problem with it is why the girl has a Japanese name and the fox spirit has a medieval European name?
- Rewritten Ennui
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Story-wise, it's workable. I don't know why anyone would make a deal to keep on living if it meant possession of your body, but eh. Also, I'm assuming that the game takes place in Japan due to the protagonist's name and the inclusion of a fox spirit. My question to you is whether or not the game has to take place there; if you aren't familiar with the culture, don't set your story there.
I can't really say much else since there isn't much info posted. Perhaps short descriptions of the boys would help?
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