Use this forum to help develop your game-making skills, and get feedback on writing, art, music, or anything else you've created that isn't attached to a game in progress.
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monele
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#16
Post
by monele » Sat Oct 04, 2008 12:21 pm
Myyyaaaaaaa *_*.......
... this counts as critique, right? >.>... Ahem. I really like the background and composition here. And the girl, of course
. But still, composition wins : the hair among the grass, the way she's laying there, etc...
Only the feet seem *slightly* too... flat? thin... something. Can't quite pinpoint it. And maybe it's just me.
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Doomfest
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- Completed: Memo, Juniper's Knot
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#17
Post
by Doomfest » Sat Oct 04, 2008 1:05 pm
Could be. Definitely a high probably of an error due to lack of experience drawing feet.
Dysfunctional Systems
Juniper's Knot
Cradle Song, a visual novel in development
Memo, a visual novel
[02:49] <Komi> How is Dysfunctional Systems coming along?
[02:52] <Doomfest> have you seen prince of egypt
[02:53] <Doomfest> do you remember that scene with the storm of bugs
[02:54] <Komi> I know what you are talking about, but I can't remember the scene.
[02:54] <Doomfest> that is what it feels like
[02:55] <Komi> Personality conflicts on the team, I take it?
[02:56] <Doomfest> no
[02:56] <Doomfest> just bugs
[02:56] <Doomfest> storm of bugs
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Raide
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- Projects: Katawa Shoujo
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#18
Post
by Raide » Sun Oct 05, 2008 4:32 am
It seems like there are two images--one finished grass background and one character sprite--mashed directly instead one unified artwork. She looks floating instead of laying on grass. The solution is to shade the grass/floor according to the light source and shadow made by the character, therefore the grass area near her face and torso shouldn't be bright. For her right feet to appear above the left, the obstructing grass effect should be enough just on her left.
The rest is just playing with how the grass appear (it doesn't look like grass from above). Anyway I like the elegant result you make from your shading. Keep it up! ^-^
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Doomfest
- Regular
- Posts: 179
- Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:29 am
- Completed: Memo, Juniper's Knot
- Projects: Cradle Song, Dysfunctional Systems
- Organization: dischan, Medical Whiskey
- Location: Miami
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Contact:
#19
Post
by Doomfest » Wed Oct 08, 2008 6:44 am
Oops! Forgot my best drawing ever!
- spinner.gif (9.82 KiB) Viewed 2201 times
Dysfunctional Systems
Juniper's Knot
Cradle Song, a visual novel in development
Memo, a visual novel
[02:49] <Komi> How is Dysfunctional Systems coming along?
[02:52] <Doomfest> have you seen prince of egypt
[02:53] <Doomfest> do you remember that scene with the storm of bugs
[02:54] <Komi> I know what you are talking about, but I can't remember the scene.
[02:54] <Doomfest> that is what it feels like
[02:55] <Komi> Personality conflicts on the team, I take it?
[02:56] <Doomfest> no
[02:56] <Doomfest> just bugs
[02:56] <Doomfest> storm of bugs
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monele
- Lemma-Class Veteran
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#20
Post
by monele » Wed Oct 08, 2008 7:12 am
Gyaa! X3... What's she saying?
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Doomfest
- Regular
- Posts: 179
- Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:29 am
- Completed: Memo, Juniper's Knot
- Projects: Cradle Song, Dysfunctional Systems
- Organization: dischan, Medical Whiskey
- Location: Miami
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Contact:
#21
Post
by Doomfest » Wed Oct 08, 2008 2:00 pm
"Plashka!". Means "Die!" in a certain slavic language.
Dysfunctional Systems
Juniper's Knot
Cradle Song, a visual novel in development
Memo, a visual novel
[02:49] <Komi> How is Dysfunctional Systems coming along?
[02:52] <Doomfest> have you seen prince of egypt
[02:53] <Doomfest> do you remember that scene with the storm of bugs
[02:54] <Komi> I know what you are talking about, but I can't remember the scene.
[02:54] <Doomfest> that is what it feels like
[02:55] <Komi> Personality conflicts on the team, I take it?
[02:56] <Doomfest> no
[02:56] <Doomfest> just bugs
[02:56] <Doomfest> storm of bugs
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monele
- Lemma-Class Veteran
- Posts: 4101
- Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2005 7:57 am
- Location: France
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Contact:
#22
Post
by monele » Wed Oct 08, 2008 3:30 pm
Ohh!... so this is a very cute but terribly dangerous girl, got it! ^^;
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Doomfest
- Regular
- Posts: 179
- Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:29 am
- Completed: Memo, Juniper's Knot
- Projects: Cradle Song, Dysfunctional Systems
- Organization: dischan, Medical Whiskey
- Location: Miami
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Contact:
#23
Post
by Doomfest » Wed Oct 29, 2008 6:57 pm
Dysfunctional Systems
Juniper's Knot
Cradle Song, a visual novel in development
Memo, a visual novel
[02:49] <Komi> How is Dysfunctional Systems coming along?
[02:52] <Doomfest> have you seen prince of egypt
[02:53] <Doomfest> do you remember that scene with the storm of bugs
[02:54] <Komi> I know what you are talking about, but I can't remember the scene.
[02:54] <Doomfest> that is what it feels like
[02:55] <Komi> Personality conflicts on the team, I take it?
[02:56] <Doomfest> no
[02:56] <Doomfest> just bugs
[02:56] <Doomfest> storm of bugs
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monele
- Lemma-Class Veteran
- Posts: 4101
- Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2005 7:57 am
- Location: France
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Contact:
#24
Post
by monele » Thu Oct 30, 2008 4:09 am
She's cute
Is there a reason behind the mix of school uniform and maid headband (if that's what it is)?
On the technique side, there is a strange feeling of unbalance. I think it comes from the skirt line not being horizontal, while the rest of the body is perfectly vertical. Is there some wind?
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LVUER
- King of Lolies
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#25
Post
by LVUER » Thu Oct 30, 2008 6:11 am
Cute...
What's wrong with her eyes?
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Doomfest
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- Completed: Memo, Juniper's Knot
- Projects: Cradle Song, Dysfunctional Systems
- Organization: dischan, Medical Whiskey
- Location: Miami
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#26
Post
by Doomfest » Thu Oct 30, 2008 6:38 am
The maid headband and school uniform are there because I thought they were random elements of Moe that should be included in a character designed for a fansub group named "Moetaku." The bottom of the skirt is supposed to be angled down a little, but I guess the balance of flaring could have been done better.
Her eyes are perfectly fine. She has G**ss on her left eye.
Dysfunctional Systems
Juniper's Knot
Cradle Song, a visual novel in development
Memo, a visual novel
[02:49] <Komi> How is Dysfunctional Systems coming along?
[02:52] <Doomfest> have you seen prince of egypt
[02:53] <Doomfest> do you remember that scene with the storm of bugs
[02:54] <Komi> I know what you are talking about, but I can't remember the scene.
[02:54] <Doomfest> that is what it feels like
[02:55] <Komi> Personality conflicts on the team, I take it?
[02:56] <Doomfest> no
[02:56] <Doomfest> just bugs
[02:56] <Doomfest> storm of bugs
-
Doomfest
- Regular
- Posts: 179
- Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:29 am
- Completed: Memo, Juniper's Knot
- Projects: Cradle Song, Dysfunctional Systems
- Organization: dischan, Medical Whiskey
- Location: Miami
-
Contact:
#27
Post
by Doomfest » Tue Nov 11, 2008 11:34 pm
Dysfunctional Systems
Juniper's Knot
Cradle Song, a visual novel in development
Memo, a visual novel
[02:49] <Komi> How is Dysfunctional Systems coming along?
[02:52] <Doomfest> have you seen prince of egypt
[02:53] <Doomfest> do you remember that scene with the storm of bugs
[02:54] <Komi> I know what you are talking about, but I can't remember the scene.
[02:54] <Doomfest> that is what it feels like
[02:55] <Komi> Personality conflicts on the team, I take it?
[02:56] <Doomfest> no
[02:56] <Doomfest> just bugs
[02:56] <Doomfest> storm of bugs
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monele
- Lemma-Class Veteran
- Posts: 4101
- Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2005 7:57 am
- Location: France
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Contact:
#28
Post
by monele » Wed Nov 12, 2008 4:53 am
Squee
. Colors really do add a lot to a drawing o^^o;...
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Doomfest
- Regular
- Posts: 179
- Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:29 am
- Completed: Memo, Juniper's Knot
- Projects: Cradle Song, Dysfunctional Systems
- Organization: dischan, Medical Whiskey
- Location: Miami
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Contact:
#29
Post
by Doomfest » Mon Nov 17, 2008 8:02 pm
picked up SAI.
Dysfunctional Systems
Juniper's Knot
Cradle Song, a visual novel in development
Memo, a visual novel
[02:49] <Komi> How is Dysfunctional Systems coming along?
[02:52] <Doomfest> have you seen prince of egypt
[02:53] <Doomfest> do you remember that scene with the storm of bugs
[02:54] <Komi> I know what you are talking about, but I can't remember the scene.
[02:54] <Doomfest> that is what it feels like
[02:55] <Komi> Personality conflicts on the team, I take it?
[02:56] <Doomfest> no
[02:56] <Doomfest> just bugs
[02:56] <Doomfest> storm of bugs
-
monele
- Lemma-Class Veteran
- Posts: 4101
- Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2005 7:57 am
- Location: France
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Contact:
#30
Post
by monele » Tue Nov 18, 2008 4:47 am
SAI-kou~
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