Sum of the Parts: The Last Journey OP

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JinzouTamashii
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Sum of the Parts: The Last Journey OP

#1 Post by JinzouTamashii » Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:57 am

You can see the lyrics to it timed here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sL_aBLqZ5sE

Now all I've got to do is find someone to sing them. :lol: It was lot of fun to write the lyrics and set them to the music, it's not something I've ever done before and the original piano piece almost "talks" by itself.

導きそう ("Leading the way") timing,

English lyrics

(There's a hole into my soul)

The rain fell.
Everyday.
Weather was fair and royal...
You were ever-loyal;
To pass my way...

I won't forget you.
I talk to you and yet you—
Won't let me;
Get close to you...
Or try something new.

(Or try out something new...)

This rain spills on my head.
Lightning crashes in your eyes.
There's a body here.
I think I might be...........!

A body...
Maybe cries...
With a sigh...
Into the sky...

(And pass my way...)

Shooting stars falling!
They're burning and calling for
You to say:
I love you more

Shooting stars falling!
They're burning and calling for
You to get close to me:
Well, no, I love you more...

(There's a hole... into my soul...)

I originally started writing and timing the lyrics in Japanese, but I felt that was out of place when most of the game is in English, so I started over. Some of the nuances were lost because it's necessary to use more words in English to say a single thought. Plus, I was a little rusty and I didn't feel like calling my mom up to ask her for help, since I could just rewrite it all.

お天気きれいで切ない…
雨がが降ってる毎日。
あなた変になる。
流れ星焦げる…

えっと… あのね…

はゝーはて待っている…
誰ととダウンタウンに行く?
昨日 歩くいた。
不意に、雨がが降った。
稲妻閃く。
あなたの目に。

They translate roughly to something like:
Honorable weather beautifully miserable
The rain fell everyday
You grow strange
The meteor burns

Hold on... let me see...

Hah, ha-a-a, well, I am waiting...
Who are you going into the city with?
You walked past me yesterday.
Suddenly, it rained.
Lightning crashes.
In your eyes.

お天気 means weather but also mood, so there's a shade of meaning there like "beautiful but miserable" or 物の哀れ. I think I tried to recapture some of that in the translation, then I branched off the lyrics into a different direction. I was constrained in some cases to match up to the music, and the original verses in English were something more like

The weather's something beautiful
The rain falls everyday
You walk past me, dutiful
But you won't look my way...

But I still like the new version better because it's a little more subtle and the lyrics can apply not only to the girls, like Tiesa or Hema or Maris but also the protagonist, Amos.

[/edit]

Alessio = Amos
Mirielle = Tiesa?
Me = Dunno
Last edited by JinzouTamashii on Thu Dec 03, 2009 7:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Leading the Way lyrics

#2 Post by sake-bento » Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:01 am

This video is private.
D:

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Re: Leading the Way lyrics

#3 Post by JinzouTamashii » Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:02 am

Blap! I've shared it with the world now.
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Re: Leading the Way lyrics

#4 Post by Melkoshi » Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:39 am

If you can't find someone to sing. Theres a program called Vocaloid, or a fanmade version called Utau that lets you input lyrics with notes to genarate a song useing a voice database. :3
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Re: Leading the Way lyrics

#5 Post by Alessio » Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:29 am

Pretty good, did you compose/arrange it yourself? May I suggest you reduce the amount of reverb a little in the final version (right now the piano is drowning in it). Another issue may be the length, maybe the piece is a bit long for an OP, I'd guess it should be around 1:00-1:20 or something. (Then again, you can make a long version first and then re-edit it for the OP, so no problem there.)

Were you looking for a male or a female voice? If you need a male, drop me a PM (you can hear my songs at http://www.mikseri.net/leadingmotive).
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Re: Leading the Way lyrics

#6 Post by sake-bento » Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:59 am

I think it's a very beautiful sounding piece, and I don't actually mind the reverb that much. It doesn't seem to have too much of a solid structure, though. I'm no music theorist, but it seems better suited as a background piece than a song. It is lovely,t though, and I'm sure hearing it with lyrics will be even more lovely. Which program did you use for this?

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Re: Leading the Way lyrics

#7 Post by JinzouTamashii » Thu Oct 29, 2009 6:11 am

sake-bento wrote:I think it's a very beautiful sounding piece, and I don't actually mind the reverb that much. It doesn't seem to have too much of a solid structure, though. I'm no music theorist, but it seems better suited as a background piece than a song. It is lovely,t though, and I'm sure hearing it with lyrics will be even more lovely. Which program did you use for this?
Ah, I should have said so. I didn't make it. The song comes from H/Mix.http://www.hmix.net/ I just heard it and thought "That's the one." It is indeed very simple, that was part of what I liked about it. The singer will go a long way toward brightening the piece, especially with one or two people supporting (if I can find them.)

I agree, it could use some lead-ins, some loops or some more embellishes and flourishes to go with the piano, a... beat and more to create a fully-textured soundscape like your average Vocaloid song. But... I'm not a composer. I didn't compose the piece, I found it.

The artist is listed as 秋山裕和, but the contact e-mail form is generic: http://www.hmix.net/wwwmail/

I'll see if I can't dig up a more specific address. I tried to contact Hirasawa Susumu through his blog and ask if it was okay to trim High-Minded Castle (the license states no modifying) as an OP but I never got a reply so I ditched that idea. You can see an attempt at making that into the OP in my other videos.

Akiyama Hirokazu is probably a little easier to contact, I hope! :wink: Maybe he'll even agree to help me re-arrange it or get permission to do a cover of it.
Alessio wrote:Were you looking for a male or a female voice? If you need a male, drop me a PM (you can hear my songs at http://www.mikseri.net/leadingmotive).
Ohh, you have a beautiful voice! I hate the sound of my own voice. The very first song I listened to was rich and really moves. I wonder......... do you still have contact with the bands you worked with?
Melkoshi wrote:If you can't find someone to sing. Theres a program called Vocaloid, or a fanmade version called Utau that lets you input lyrics with notes to genarate a song useing a voice database. :3
I haven't heard of that before, thanks for the lead. I have a really, really old version of Vocaloid back when it first came out but I've never updated or used it since then.

Plus, I'm not really an expert. Even my art doesn't have that polished CG look you see in most games, the lines and shading are very rough and all over. So I would like it if the music is talented but not perfect too. Just enough to make someone go, "This is good!"
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Re: Leading the Way lyrics

#8 Post by Alessio » Fri Oct 30, 2009 5:16 pm

JinzouTamashii wrote:Ohh, you have a beautiful voice! I hate the sound of my own voice. The very first song I listened to was rich and really moves. I wonder......... do you still have contact with the bands you worked with?
Thanks! :) Hopefully you'll be happy with the results. I'm still in touch with some of the musicians, but I wouldn't call them "bands" - my songs are all solo efforts, and I've just occasionally had some musicians helping out with the odd track or two.
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Re: Leading the Way lyrics

#9 Post by Sir William Perkins » Sun Nov 01, 2009 5:42 pm

I'm new here yet as looking through the post this one caught my eyes, I loved the emotions that your lyrics portrayed.. So I thought I'd try singing part of the lyrics.
and post up an mp3.file. Hopefully no one minds.
Leading the way.mp3

Sorry if the recordings not the greatest lol I didn't practice much , plus I'm not used to recording software,
I really enjoyed singing it , hopefully this will inspire others to
also maybe to record thier own renditions as well .(:
I used freeware program
http://audacity.sourceforge.net/
to record it.. Thank you

Sincerly Sir William Perkins..

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Re: Leading the Way lyrics

#10 Post by JinzouTamashii » Sun Nov 01, 2009 6:39 pm

Wow, and out of nowhere too! I'm flattered. Thank you for your take, William. Do you have a separate vocal track without the reverb?

I also tried using the contact form at H/Mix last week to try to contact the artist for permission to modify it or even if he or she would recompose the piece, but I haven't gotten any reply yet...
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Re: Leading the Way lyrics

#11 Post by Sir William Perkins » Sun Nov 01, 2009 8:14 pm

Nope sorry, sigh lol I'll re sing it without the reverb .. lol hope you get permission. I was thinking it would sound nice with some of those slow mystic rythmic sleigh bells or tambourine sounds often used in folk music, I think they use it in some anime dramatic moments.. Not sue how to explain it lol.
..

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Re: Leading the Way lyrics

#12 Post by JinzouTamashii » Sun Nov 01, 2009 8:52 pm

I'm going to go download some tambourine and bell sounds now...
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Re: Leading the Way lyrics

#13 Post by Sir William Perkins » Mon Nov 02, 2009 1:47 am

I tried recording again I could'nt get the lyrics to match the notes the way I wanted exactly lol so I kinda altered the verses a little bit so I could make it flow easier hope you don't mind
http://www.4shared.com/file/145563868/8 ... _way2.html
plus I uploaded one that I used pitch change on lol to sound like a kid. http://www.4shared.com/file/145561177/a ... Child.html heh I have way to much free time.
http://www.4shared.com/dir/22684992/c9a ... aring.html

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Re: Leading the Way lyrics

#14 Post by JinzouTamashii » Mon Nov 02, 2009 1:51 am

... And I realized that I have no idea how to add those kind of flourishes since I'm no composer...

I also gave a poor attempt at singing the song... it's not very good. I hate my voice. http://dl.getdropbox.com/u/2300513/Michibikisou2.ogg

I think my take took about 90 minutes, including deleting crap.

Your second attempt really improved. You can also try out the altered lyrics in mine, like how to hit the "I think I might be dead" and let the keyboard fill in the rest. Don't worry, I sang the song eight or nine times and I still can't hit all the notes or the right speed all the time. Practice makes perfect.
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Re: Leading the Way lyrics

#15 Post by Sir William Perkins » Mon Nov 02, 2009 2:20 am

I really appreaciate your going at it don't hate your voice you have a very nice voice, And yes those notes can be pesky to hit. lol it took me several tries and editing to get them to.I know that it takes some time to do lol.
I'll probably give it another go lol later.
After my vocal cords rest up a bit.
My voice is actually a bit deeper than the key this songs in so
so I have to put on a bit of a kiddish voice to stay in key lol,
lol perhaps another day its getting late here .

I had fun^-^
Thank You!

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