>Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

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renpao
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Re: >Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

#196 Post by renpao » Mon Dec 21, 2009 5:30 pm

Deji wrote:Yay! I missed redlining stuff *_*
(I used to be the char artist for TS, btw xD I'm glad you're working on it now! Your art is lovely <3)

Give me a little while and I'll have a quick redline for you ^___^
Ah, Deji! O///O Thank you so much for taking the time to redline my horrible art. ;_; I really appreciate the help. To be honest, I grew up learning from your tutorials in DA (way back in 2005-6), and it's because of you that I learned how to use do lineart/color on my PS7, then...I guess I'm both embarrassed and elated to have a chance to talk with one of the artists I consider as my mentor, though indirectly. *blushes*

And yes, I know you were the former artist for TS. I honestly think that your design for them is perfect (and I'm sure their looks are already stapled in everyone's mind now, as do I) so I doubt a new design for them would be accepted. OTL I'm trying to make them as close to yours as possible...I hope you don't mind. ;_;

I'm just scared that the buyers would be disappointed to see my ugly art instead. OTL;;

You have big heads, small torsos and then waist-down you seem to shrink everything D:
It's a common error for people that normally draws people waist-up only.
haslkdhlkh;dahfa;hfkhf; NOW I KNOW WHAT'S BOTHERING ME ABOUT MY ART! Thank you for pointing that out. And yes, most of the time I just doodle and sketch on some piece of paper and I only draw the heads, lol...such is a life of someone who's so busy with college. I really need to do more of these full body drawings. Hopefully I'd improve more once I take figure drawing in Fall! *determined*


Try drawing smaller, so you can see the full body and check the proportions. You can always scan the smaller drawing and make it bigger to either fix it on the computer and/or print it bigger very lightly (either gray, light-red/pink or light-blue/cyan) and redraw/trace over it :3 That works wonders for me! (I can draw small on paper, but whenever I try drawing bigger, I screw up proportions BADLY).
I see! That probably explains why I have an easier time drawing in small scale instead of the other way around...it does seem easier to spot proportional errors in that scale.

And you're castrating the males ;o;!!! Mind their genitalia! xD;
LOL. I'm so sorry...^^;;

And don't mark the curve of her butt when drawing a skirt D:
Actually, I wasn't marking a curve on her butt...it's just me marking the body I drew before I drew in the clothing. I'm sorry if it appeared that way. ^^;;

Pose is good, just mind the proportions~~ (and remember Talia is a guy underneath those girly clothes! xD)
I know she's a guy. XD;;


Again, thank you so much for the help! I'll keep in mind all the suggestions you've pointed out. And those sites you've suggested are very helpful, indeed. Thank you for sharing them to me. ;__;

@ra-nyan Feel free to jump in any time. ^^ I do not mind at all. C:
Last edited by renpao on Mon Dec 21, 2009 5:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: >Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

#197 Post by renpao » Mon Dec 21, 2009 5:34 pm

JinzouTamashii wrote:I understand, renpao, we all have our own business.

Do you mind if I ask you what the emergency was?
A very close friend of mine and I are having a huge fight at the moment, and it just keeps on growing and growing...I'd leave it at that lest I'd end up going OT. But thank you so much for your concern, JT. I really appreciate it.
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Re: >Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

#198 Post by renpao » Mon Dec 21, 2009 6:43 pm

Danichuu wrote:Well, I posted this in the Art Dumpage thread since I was too afraid to post it here, but I guess I should give it a shot for critique... T///T

Y-yeah. ^^;; Reason she lacks shoes is that I'll draw them in later, plus it's going to only show waist-up, soyeah.... >w>;;

I'm mostly having trouble with her hair, but also some minor proportion-things, or maybe I'm drawing her -too- curvy. Yeah. I'll wait until whoever's ahead is done, though! x3;
Hi, there! Your drawing is so cute~ I especially like how you colored the hair; it looks very smooth. I wish I could color my own characters' hairs like that. C:

I think the hair is drawn pretty nicely as is, but proportion-wise I did notice a very few mistakes. I am probably not the best one to critique proportions as I'm struggling with that concept still, but I might be able to help a little bit with this very quick redline until you get a proper critique from the pros. ^^
danichuumarkup.png
I think the problem in here is the same problem I seem to have had in my previous sketches: the head looks big because of the hair. ^^ The legs seem slightly skewed so perhaps aligning them slightly towards to the right would make it look not skewed?

That's all I have spotted. I hope it helps. ^^ Just remember, when in doubt, try to flip your drawing to check the parts that bother you. If you think you did something wrong, you can always redline it and flip it back to look at it again. C:
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Re: >Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

#199 Post by Deji » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:59 pm

renpao did a nice redline there :3
(I'm glad I helped you with my redline, btw ^o^ And I'm glad you found my tutorials useful at one point in your artistic path :P )

Now it's my turn~~

I like your character there :D I like her uniform and her hairdo a lot :P And glasses = <3

Main issues:
-Your head is too big or the face your drew on the head is too small.
-The torso seems too long. Either shorten it up or make everything wider!
-Your feet are a tad too small for the long set of legs you drew there :P

I have two visual suggestions for you
1. keep the same face and shrink the head (hair). Shorten the torso a bit and lift the breasts, and shrink the lower half (hips + legs) but not the feet. That should be more proportionate, though it'l make her shorter.
or
2. Keep the head but draw the face bigger. Widen her torso, keep the legs and make her feet bigger :3 This should make her more proportionate and keep the original size of the character~
danichuu_rl.jpg
Remember checking anatomy/human figure drawing tutorials if you have troubles.
You could check the links I gave renpao for visual aid on that :>

Hope that helps :D
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Re: >Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

#200 Post by Danichuu » Mon Dec 21, 2009 8:31 pm

*_* Same reaction as renpao earlier: Ohmigosh~ Deji. Thanks for the redlining and corrections. You too, renpao! Both redlines are really gonna help....

I'm sorry I don't have a much longer post here. I think I'll wait for another critique or two. ^^;

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Re: >Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

#201 Post by risingdreams » Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:44 pm

Forgive me, Danichuu, I don't know much about art, so I didn't know how I could help. I thought the drawing was nice. Maybe some proportions things, but I don't know much about this.

Once Danichuu is done, would I be allowed to post a very short, genetic kinetic novel I decided writing for Christmas?
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Re: >Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

#202 Post by Deji » Wed Dec 23, 2009 3:38 pm

risingdreams wrote:Forgive me, Danichuu, I don't know much about art, so I didn't know how I could help. I thought the drawing was nice. Maybe some proportions things, but I don't know much about this.

Once Danichuu is done, would I be allowed to post a very short, genetic kinetic novel I decided writing for Christmas?
I think ra-nyan wanted to go first.
Could you wait until after ra-nyan's turn? :3
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Re: >Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

#203 Post by risingdreams » Wed Dec 23, 2009 3:43 pm

Ah, of course! Forgive me for not paying attention to that. I suck, ladies and gentleman!
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Re: >Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

#204 Post by ra-nyan » Thu Dec 24, 2009 1:27 am

It's fine to go ahead of me.. I decided to finish all of the sketches first instead of only having one artwork to get help with (if that's ok)..
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Re: >Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

#205 Post by risingdreams » Thu Dec 24, 2009 11:40 pm

I didn't manage to finish it, so you can post it. ^^ And forgive me for causing any trouble.
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Re: >Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

#206 Post by Mrs. Abject » Fri Dec 25, 2009 3:21 am

I've been lurking this thread, but I'm not exactly sure how it works-- would I be able to post part of the first draft of my VN for critique? (after whoever's last in line, anyway...)

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Re: >Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

#207 Post by ra-nyan » Fri Dec 25, 2009 3:25 am

I'm not done mine yet so to anyone who wants to go then just go.. (orz.. I'm so slow.. and i'm only doing sketches...)
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Re: >Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

#208 Post by Mrs. Abject » Fri Dec 25, 2009 10:44 pm

Okay, thank you! Here goes:
http://www.2shared.com/file/10244337/1d ... e-all.html
This is only the first draft of the first chapter, so it's probably not that good, and I'm not sure if there's enough foreshadowing for what will eventually be a plot twist (because I decided on the plot twist halfway through the second chapter). But it's kind of hard to move on to the second chapter before knowing what needs to be changed about the first one... that's the pattern I got myself into when I was writing fanfic. It's just text and a badly made menu screen so far... I probably should have found sprites like risingdreams did for the preview of Missing Pages...
anyway thankyou.

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Re: >Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

#209 Post by JinzouTamashii » Sat Dec 26, 2009 1:03 am

Thanks for picking up the slack for me while I was on Christmas break, guys. I pushed myself too hard over the holidays, took on too much at once. :/

Wasn't even sleeping.

What do you guys think of this? I was just doodling from some of my own references in ArtRage.

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Re: >Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

#210 Post by LVUER » Sat Dec 26, 2009 7:30 am

JinzouTamashii wrote:Wasn't even sleeping.
Now, that isn't good at all. You need sleep. It's essential!
Sleep enough will make you healthy and live longer.
Not sleep enough will decrease your life span.

Proof? Hibernating squirrel life 5 times longer than non-hibernating one.

I hope you always healthy ^_^

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