>Artistic Works Circum-Critique Thread

[renpao]

Thanks, guys. ;__;

Would you guys prefer the original PSD files? Or should I just post the resized redlined sketches?

[renpao]

Okay, I'm just going to put the resized images instead because the forum won't let me upload the files (they're too big...). ^^; If anyone would be interested in marking up the PSD files intead, however, I don't mind sending them through email. ^^;;

I apologize for the messy sketch...I prefer to sketch on note papers to conserve paper because I ink on computer, and I also find it easier to sketch with lines.

If you guys want me to put up the original sketches without my redlines over them, feel free to tell me and I would gladly put them up. C: You can now see how much I fail at proportions/drawing bodies, lol...OTL;;;

As mentioned, the ones circled in blue are the ones that bother me the most:
Cass: The main problem I have with this art is that her legs are off and that the limbs are too thin. ;_; She's supposed to be curvy, but I mader her thin...
Lisa: The body seem skewed, and the skirt/legs...I'm not sure if the original line or the redlined one is the one that's correctly drawn. =_=
Greg: That arm; it's badly postured and very badly drawn. OTL;;
Ethan: The body, especially the shoulder and that right arm (the one in the pocket). The posture is off...
Talia: Body language - I want to portray her as a genki girl but I failed at it miserably. The left arm doesn't have a hand because I don't know what to do with it...and I think the body in general.
Timothy: Everything, I think. This is the last one I did, and if you played Transformation Sequence, I'm trying to show the stark difference between Timothy and Talia in both their expressions and their body language. Somehow I made him too stiff and lifeless because of its lack of body movement. ;_; Is there any way to remedy that while still maintaining that not-so genki feel to it...? And how would you make the pants look baggy?

I'm so sorry for all the hassle, but I would really appreciate your help. Thank you very much, everyone. ;_;

[JinzouTamashii]

You're nothing if not ambitious.

It might be a few days for me to wrestle with these.

[thebackup]

You draw some pretty cute girls.

Cass: From what I've seen on other artworks, if you want curvy try widening her hips a bit.
Tim: He kind of reminds me of a soldier in attention stance... try bending his elbows a bit.

I'm not much of an artist, but I hope I helped!

[renpao]

You're nothing if not ambitious.

It might be a few days for me to wrestle with these.

What do you mean? ^^;;

I understand. And please, don't feel rushed. After all, I'm the one who's asking you guys a favor, so I'm very thankful for all the help. ;__;

[JinzouTamashii]

It's good to see someone with dedication and energy... I see some mistakes but I also see potential in you.

You didn't reply to my PM, but what do you say, renpao? Want to do the storyboarding and character designs and covers?

[renpao]

Sorry, I'm going to reply to everyone's PM/comments...something awful just came up at home, and it's an emergency. I'm so sorry...

[Deji]

Yay! I missed redlining stuff *_*
(I used to be the char artist for TS, btw xD I'm glad you're working on it now! Your art is lovely <3)

Give me a little while and I'll have a quick redline for you ^___^

[Deji]

Ok, redlines ready!
(they're pretty quick and messy, so please forgive my mistakes ^^; )

Main issues:

• You have big heads, small torsos and then waist-down you seem to shrink everything D:
  It's a common error for people that normally draws people waist-up only.
  Try drawing smaller, so you can see the full body and check the proportions. You can always scan the smaller drawing and make it bigger to either fix it on the computer and/or print it bigger very lightly (either gray, light-red/pink or light-blue/cyan) and redraw/trace over it :3 That works wonders for me! (I can draw small on paper, but whenever I try drawing bigger, I screw up proportions BADLY).
• And you're castrating the males ;o;!!! Mind their genitalia! xD;

This one has a good pose :3 Just mind the proportions starting under her breasts, you tend to shrink distances starting from there~
If you want her more curvy, try widening her hips and thighs and add some meat to her limbs~ Curvy limbs doesn't mean just thicker tube-like limbs. You have to mind the curves!
Look at the woman from the right here: http://breakfastwithspanky.site50.net/w ... /women.jpg

Her pose is awkward because of her hip positioning. Make a slight curve starting from below the breasts that curves to the right down to her underbelly. It's the same natural curve from the back to the butt It's a lovely curve, don't forget it ~
And don't mark the curve of her butt when drawing a skirt D:

Same issue with waist-hips.legs being out of proportion. The arm had a good start Just look at some pictures of people in similar poses and you'll be fine ^^
Mind the guy's crotch! ;o;

He looks kind of stiff in that pose, try to make it a bit more relaxed Try to avoid straight lines when drawing the body, most lines (if not all) are curves~

Pose is good, just mind the proportions~~ (and remember Talia is a guy underneath those girly clothes! xD)

Same here~~
btw, baggy pants: http://www.freestyle-dance.co.uk/ekmps/ ... _pants.bmp

Now, it doesn't matter how much stylized your drawing style is, you need to know what a human body looks like and reference it as much as you can to make it look believable! I'm not talking about realism here, but the basic principle of "if you want to modify/Stylize something, you need to know the real thing you're modifying/stylizing"

If you have some time and want to do some human figure study, you can take a look at the tutorials here: http://drawninblack.globalmindflow.net/ ... dy-figure/
For harmless basic human figure anatomy references, you can use harmless 3D models like the ones here:
http://www.turbosquid.com/Search/3D-Mod ... ull-Bodies
And for non-erotic reference photos, you can always use this site for female references http://fineart.sk/index.php?cat=2
For males I haven't found any like that one, but a Google search of "nude male model" in moderate safe search should do

If you look back a few pages of this same thread, you'll find other tutorials and reference websites ^^

And remember! Google image search (or bing, if you like it more) is your friend for references !!

I hope to have been of help to you ^^
Keep it up!

[ra-nyan]

err is there a list that I have to sign on?.. if not then can I go after renpao?

[Deji]

@ra-nyan: there is no list anymore xD so yes, you can go after renpao :3
You'll have to wait until she gets more crit/feedback, though.

[ra-nyan]

Thanks.. I'll just wait 'cause I can't post my pics until Mon. or late sunday anyway..(stuck in my aunt's house).. so if renpao finishes getting critique before late sunday or Mon. and someone wants to go next then I'll wait after them..^^

[Danichuu]

Well, I posted this in the Art Dumpage thread since I was too afraid to post it here, but I guess I should give it a shot for critique... T///T



Y-yeah. ^^;; Reason she lacks shoes is that I'll draw them in later, plus it's going to only show waist-up, soyeah.... >w>;;

I'm mostly having trouble with her hair, but also some minor proportion-things, or maybe I'm drawing her -too- curvy. Yeah. I'll wait until whoever's ahead is done, though! x3;

[renpao]

I apologize for disappearing just like that...I'm having a really bad RL problem right now, so I took a break from the net. It's still not solved but I have to keep myself busy lest I'd just continue to mope... *sigh*

Thank you, thebackup. C: I was trying to widen the hips in the redlined version, actually, but I can't seem to do it right. ;_; And now that you mentioned it, my rendition of Tim looks like that, lol.

I do honestly think that Deji's rendition of the characters are nicer (and cuter!), which you can see in here: http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... =16&t=3791 C:

It's good to see someone with dedication and energy... I see some mistakes but I also see potential in you.

You didn't reply to my PM, but what do you say, renpao? Want to do the storyboarding and character designs and covers?

Oh, thank you. This is the first time someone asked me to do a commissioned work because of my skills... so I want to try my best and give something that's good enough to be put out on a commercial project...that's the least I could do to thank him for hiring someone like me. ^^;; But thank you...

And oh, I'm so sorry for not being able to reply right away...I had (have) an RL problem, so I decided to sign out.

But you flatter me so much, JT. With my skills right now, I would say I am not ready to do a storyboard for a commercial manga...which is why I'm trying my best to slowly improve in that department by doing Lucky Thirteen. And given that mid-2010 might be a very busy time for me (read: college), I might not be able to help at all. ;_; I would, however, love to help in doing the character design (<- this is what I love to do the most, after all) and one of the covers though you probably will need to watch me as my proportions tend to go wrong. ^^;;

[JinzouTamashii]

I understand, renpao, we all have our own business.

Do you mind if I ask you what the emergency was?