First person writing

Use this forum to help develop your game-making skills, and get feedback on writing, art, music, or anything else you've created that isn't attached to a game in progress.
Message
Author
User avatar
FeatherThief
Regular
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2010 12:54 pm
Projects: 軽い夏: The Sun Will Shine Through
Location: Somnium
Contact:

First person writing

#1 Post by FeatherThief » Sat May 01, 2010 1:44 am

Does anyone have any tips for writing in first person? I can do second or third easily but my writing in first person comes out awkward.
I will steal your dreams and make them real.

Projects: 軽い夏: The Sun Will Shine Through (In progress)
Chief and Head Writer
Website: http://www.shirogroup.blogspot.com

Lunethex
Regular
Posts: 61
Joined: Tue Feb 02, 2010 4:01 pm
Contact:

Re: First person writing

#2 Post by Lunethex » Sat May 01, 2010 6:52 am

Real writers use third person.

User avatar
curry nochi rice
Miko-Class Veteran
Posts: 740
Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2010 3:12 am
Projects: Delicatessen, Whom to Notice, Start of Something, Love Sorcery
Organization: Circle Cosine
IRC Nick: Curry
Skype: after.curry.rice
itch: project-rothera
Contact:

Re: First person writing

#3 Post by curry nochi rice » Sat May 01, 2010 7:10 am

describe everything that happems or happened from your perspective...

i suggest you read some Haruki Murakami novels or any novel or author that uses the 1st person perspective...like

I saw her down range and shot her....

"I" is the keyword here...
Personal (R-13) | Now at IndieDB | Circle Cosine's itch.io
I wanna be done.

linkdragon0
Veteran
Posts: 220
Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2010 11:20 pm
Projects: ILoMG, Nomads
Location: In ur base, killin ur d00dz
Contact:

Re: First person writing

#4 Post by linkdragon0 » Sat May 01, 2010 10:49 am

Lunethex wrote:Real writers use third person.
I fail to see how this is true.

Also, most of the visual novels I've played have used first person for the story telling.

Anyway, my two cents is, describe things how you'd see them, a really quick overview, don't drag on and on and on with descriptions.

Also, if you need to tell someone else's story in the first person just have it so it fades to that person and explains it from their point of view, just make sure you tell everyone that it's a person different from before.

Just make sure you get your tense right in first person (this really applies to everything) or you could really confuse people.

Hope I helped.
My handle is Shoe, please use it if you prefer.

International League of Magical Girls
Story: 60%
Script: 15%
Art: 33.33%
Music: 0.002%
Comedy: <9000%

User avatar
FeatherThief
Regular
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2010 12:54 pm
Projects: 軽い夏: The Sun Will Shine Through
Location: Somnium
Contact:

Re: First person writing

#5 Post by FeatherThief » Sat May 01, 2010 11:37 am

YEah, I have a problem with the tense. Hmm, guess it is time to go cosplaying and talk like my main character. I also have a problem with using as too much. Well thanks for your help.
I will steal your dreams and make them real.

Projects: 軽い夏: The Sun Will Shine Through (In progress)
Chief and Head Writer
Website: http://www.shirogroup.blogspot.com

User avatar
curry nochi rice
Miko-Class Veteran
Posts: 740
Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2010 3:12 am
Projects: Delicatessen, Whom to Notice, Start of Something, Love Sorcery
Organization: Circle Cosine
IRC Nick: Curry
Skype: after.curry.rice
itch: project-rothera
Contact:

Re: First person writing

#6 Post by curry nochi rice » Sat May 01, 2010 2:14 pm

omg, i'm also having a problem now...i just realized this..

I should I use "You as a substitute for the Characters name, or should i use, "player instead"

???:
You = Character Name = Player
or
Player = You = Character Name????

i've been using Character Name and You for the majority of the game plans.
Personal (R-13) | Now at IndieDB | Circle Cosine's itch.io
I wanna be done.

Lunethex
Regular
Posts: 61
Joined: Tue Feb 02, 2010 4:01 pm
Contact:

Re: First person writing

#7 Post by Lunethex » Sat May 01, 2010 2:53 pm

linkdragon0 wrote:
Lunethex wrote:Real writers use third person.
I fail to see how this is true.
Think: Stephenie Meyer

User avatar
Tsuki-chan
Regular
Posts: 132
Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2008 10:13 pm
Projects: How to Be a Successful Villain
Location: Georgia, US
Contact:

Re: First person writing

#8 Post by Tsuki-chan » Sat May 01, 2010 4:19 pm

So, basically, what you're saying is that you're basing your statement off of your clearly very limited knowledge of the subject?

Dean Koontz is most certainly a 'real writer' and some of his novels are written in first-person. As is the classic 'Catcher in the Rye'.

User avatar
IonicMomo
Regular
Posts: 155
Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2010 12:30 am
Completed: Mail Order Bride
Projects: Untitled GxB game
Location: Michigan, USA
Contact:

Re: First person writing

#9 Post by IonicMomo » Sat May 01, 2010 4:27 pm

Lunethex wrote:
linkdragon0 wrote:
Lunethex wrote:Real writers use third person.
I fail to see how this is true.
Think: Stephenie Meyer
That's not true at all. What about William Faulkner, Mark Twain, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Jack Kerouac, J.D. Salinger, and a slew of other "real writers" that employed first-person? It's not at all fair to discredit an entire style of writing based on one author of books for children. (And whether you personally like these writers or not is of no significance; they are all well-recognized, often-read, important, and influential writers. Your individual preferences are meaningless in that context.) Personally, I think that most VNs written in third-person, unless executed very skillfully, would be awkward and leave the player feeling detached from the story and characters.


To FeatherThief:

As for writing in first-person, it's really a matter of being aware of the limitations of that point-of-view. Your style of writing should reflect your character's view of the world. That means that the information you provide to the player won't be impartial, and the views you present won't be unbiased. In fact, they could be completely wrong at times. It is impossible to deliver complete information to the player (unless you use shifting viewpoints), but I think the limitations are a good thing in a game. In real life, you can't know everything when making important decisions, and you don't have access into the minds of others. I think that applying that mode of thinking to a game works very well to keep it a little more realistic and adds an extra challenge for the player to understand what is really going on, who's lying, who's trustworthy, etc. It's also okay to have an unreliable narrator, and to have what s/he thinks and reveals to the player be influenced by his/her personal beliefs and the limitations of his/her own knowledge of events in the game.

Keep in mind the advantages of first-person, and use them to your benefit: you have complete access to a character's mind, and you can use that character to shape the player's perception of the world you create.

But I'm impressed that you can write in second person! That's big a challenge for me, as I use it very rarely. It usually comes out very awkward sounding in my case, so you must be a pretty skillful writer to pull it off well. So I'm sure you'll get the hang of first-person in no time. :D
Current Project: Untitled GxB Game, Untitled NaNoRenO 2011
Completed Projects: Mail Order Bride

User avatar
LVUER
King of Lolies
Posts: 4538
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 9:57 pm
Completed: R.S.P
Location: Bandung, West Java, Indonesia
Contact:

Re: First person writing

#10 Post by LVUER » Sat May 01, 2010 7:49 pm

Most Visual Novels uses first person view (using "I"), the reason is immersion since VN talks the life of one person, in present time too. While novels indeed use third person (and I never read novel using first person view).

Light novel is slightly different from novel. Light novel consist lots of conversation, just like a VN so it also uses first person view.
"Double the princesses, quadruple the fun!" - Haken Browning (SRW-OG Endless Frontier)

DeviantArt Account
MoeToMecha Blog (under construction)
Lolicondria Blog (under construction) <- NSFW

iAsobu
Regular
Posts: 45
Joined: Wed Apr 14, 2010 7:56 pm
Projects: [TBA]
Contact:

Re: First person writing

#11 Post by iAsobu » Sat May 01, 2010 9:23 pm

Lunethex wrote:
linkdragon0 wrote:
Lunethex wrote:Real writers use third person.
I fail to see how this is true.
Think: Stephenie Meyer
Aren't several of her books in first person?
But whatever perspective you're thinking of, please don't tell me you're not using sarcasm when you say Stephenie Meyer. *Shudders* Although maybe I don't know. Some her books that aren't about sparkly vampires could be good.

User avatar
Jake
Support Hero
Posts: 3826
Joined: Sat Jun 17, 2006 7:28 pm
Contact:

Re: First person writing

#12 Post by Jake » Sun May 02, 2010 6:51 am

iAsobu wrote:
Think: Stephenie Meyer
Aren't several of her books in first person?
That's probably her point. :P
Server error: user 'Jake' not found

Lunethex
Regular
Posts: 61
Joined: Tue Feb 02, 2010 4:01 pm
Contact:

Re: First person writing

#13 Post by Lunethex » Sun May 02, 2010 4:47 pm

Ask Stephen King. He also put it succinctly on the Stephanie Meyer case. All first person writings are Stephanie Meyer-esque crap we don't need in the hobby.

First person writing shows a lack of real skill and imagination. Catcher in the Rye is nothing more than an egotistical man's boorish escapist fantasy. Its like narrative porn for the socially stunted or those whose intellect isn't quite high enough to grasp end-level crackpot fantasy like Ayn Rand.

Once again, go read every book written by King. All 3rd person. He's the most successful writer of the past 30 years. Fact.

First Person writing is a cop out. Sure, maybe some good novels may be written in it...But every single clueless, untalented hack uses first person. Stephanie Meyer, every fanfic writer that's ever posted a story online, all first person. It's lazy.

First person is what slope heads do. It is all they can do. Want to know why? It's because they create Mary Sues. They ARE their character, so they cant remove themselves from the story to do it Third Person.

Catcher in the Rye, funny you bring that up. That's only classic because your English teacher forces you to read it in 8th grade. It's drivel.

linkdragon0
Veteran
Posts: 220
Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2010 11:20 pm
Projects: ILoMG, Nomads
Location: In ur base, killin ur d00dz
Contact:

Re: First person writing

#14 Post by linkdragon0 » Sun May 02, 2010 5:20 pm

King also bores me to death with his, in my opinion at least, overly long descriptions of everything.

The people that create Mary Sues/Marty Stus don't not know how to write (some of them definitely can't) but some just don't know how to create correctly balanced characters.

Also, I haven't seen many good VNs written in third person, mainly because most VN's are about bonding with the characters, and when you're detached from the story in 3rd person it's hard to bond like you're truly there.

Certain stories, I admit, should be written third person, but some just don't feel right if you don't go through it like you're the character.

Also, Stephanie Meyer is trash, we all know it, lets leave her out of this, god it's like Godwins law for writers.
My handle is Shoe, please use it if you prefer.

International League of Magical Girls
Story: 60%
Script: 15%
Art: 33.33%
Music: 0.002%
Comedy: <9000%

User avatar
Dark
Regular
Posts: 33
Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2010 1:58 pm
Projects: Project 3Seasons
Location: Michigan
Contact:

Re: First person writing

#15 Post by Dark » Sun May 02, 2010 6:06 pm

Personally, writing in either person works for me. It also depends on the tense of the subject.

For writing in first person, you could use much more monologue and thought processes that may be a bit harder to use when writing in third person. While third person invokes the "watcher" feel for the reader, the first person feel involves the reader a bit more. Instead of a ghost hovering over the scene, you get to see how the individual characters express themselves.

However, for third person, you can hop around alternate scenes more easily, as you are not restricted to one consciousness. It's something to think about.
Currently working on 1 VN

Story Concept - 100%
Screens - 10%
Character Design - 90%
Sprites - 0%
Scripts - 2%
BGM - 0%

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users