[CLOSED] Beta Testing for Toketsu

[clannadman]

Looking for testers and some feedback on my short kinetic novel:

BETA VERSION DOWNLOAD LINK (windows):
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=X6MROPOF

BETA VERSION DOWNLOAD LINK (mac):
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DKP31GSL

Thankyou to anyone interested

Toketsu Page:
http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 16&t=10106

[Lotus]

I'll try it out once it downloads c:

[clannadman]

Does it take a long time?

[Lotus]

Nah, it only took like 5 minutes to download. I got it downloaded and I'm about to play it.

Edit: The icon for the game made me giggle.

[clannadman]

okay. playthrough shouldn't take more than 15 minutes.

The icon for the game made me giggle.

i know XD i wanted a basic icon so just went with the face

[Lotus]

Ok, just got done playing. That was definitely an odd story, but I enjoyed it.

I really liked the menu screens and all the little customizations, though the in game text bugged me because it felt too close to the edge of the textbox. The short segment in between chapters where it would say what chapter you're about to read felt out of place juxtaposed with the rest of the game (yay 5 dollar art-word :B ). The music really helped set the atmosphere, especially for

the fire scene.

I didn't have much trouble following the story until I got to the part with

the diary.

That part was a bit confusing because I wasn't sure who was narrating. Maybe you could change the textbox for that segment to indicate that a different person is narrating?

Overall very interesting with a nice eerie atmosphere.

[clannadman]

I didn't have much trouble following the story until I got to the part with

the diary.

That part was a bit confusing because I wasn't sure who was narrating. Maybe you could change the textbox for that segment to indicate that a different person is narrating?

I did wonder about that part.

The diary entry is supposed to last the entirety of the time that you see the background image of the wall

I'll get some more feedback and then possibly change it.

I can see what you mean about the chapter flashes in such a short story. It just felt like something needed to break it up and make it less confusing than it already is. I'll try a version without and see how it goes down.

[Lotus]

I did wonder about that part.

The diary entry is supposed to last the entirety of the time that you see the background image of the wall

I'll get some more feedback and then possibly change it.

I eventually realized that, but for about 2 minutes into that part I wasn't sure who was narrating so it pulled me out of the story. Up until that point I was deeply immersed.

I do think that the VN benefits from chapter flashes, but the chapter flashes you had felt out of place with the rest of the story. It made it feel like I was watching a TV show, and the chapter flashes were a commercial break, if that makes sense. They didn't feel like they related to the story/general atmosphere of the VN, and they pulled me out and made remember that I was reading a VN.

[RemnantDream]

You really have a way with words, just saying. I normally don't like kinetic novels because they bore me but I liked yours. Your use of language was really impressive.

In chapter three,

I was a bit confused about the diary part. Who was narrating? I thought I saw something about the wife or their neighbor or their daughter but I wasn't sure which it was. By the way, the music at that part was perfect. I was just like o_o *panicattack*

In chapter four, I did notice some misspellings. I'm not sure if that's what you want us to look for or not.

I overall thought this was great. It's just the kind of story I like, full of sadness and death and such (I can be a bit morbid at times xD) You're a really talented writer. I liked how you ended it the way you began it. I was sad when it ended cause I wanted there to be more xD

[clannadman]

You really have a way with words, just saying. I normally don't like kinetic novels because they bore me but I liked yours. Your use of language was really impressive.

In chapter three,

I was a bit confused about the diary part. Who was narrating? I thought I saw something about the wife or their neighbor or their daughter but I wasn't sure which it was. By the way, the music at that part was perfect. I was just like o_o *panicattack*

In chapter four, I did notice some misspellings. I'm not sure if that's what you want us to look for or not.

I overall thought this was great. It's just the kind of story I like, full of sadness and death and such (I can be a bit morbid at times xD) You're a really talented writer. I liked how you ended it the way you began it. I was sad when it ended cause I wanted there to be more xD

I've altered Chapter Three to make it more understandable in terms of who's narrating. I don't think there are any spelling mistakes in chapter four unless i've used british versions of words like realise instead of realize. Would you mind pointing out any to me that need immediate change?

[RemnantDream]

When I went back, I couldn't find them. O_o

I think I'm going crazy..

[clannadman]

Here's another beta, version 3 with the text altered to italics in chapter three and misspellings checked for:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0UFEGN02

[clannadman]

I do think that the VN benefits from chapter flashes, but the chapter flashes you had felt out of place with the rest of the story. It made it feel like I was watching a TV show, and the chapter flashes were a commercial break, if that makes sense. They didn't feel like they related to the story/general atmosphere of the VN, and they pulled me out and made remember that I was reading a VN.

Can you give any suggestions for what I can replace these with? What should the chapter flashes look like in your opinion?

[Lotus]

I think the picture you have for the chapter flashes is fine, it's more of the effects applied to the picture. The noise and the flash of the letters is what pulled me out of the story. Overall I feel the sound effects you have for the game don't fit the game's story, they feel misplaced and ruin the wonderful atmosphere you set up. I loove the atmosphere C:

[clannadman]

I think the picture you have for the chapter flashes is fine, it's more of the effects applied to the picture. The noise and the flash of the letters is what pulled me out of the story. Overall I feel the sound effects you have for the game don't fit the game's story, they feel misplaced and ruin the wonderful atmosphere you set up. I loove the atmosphere C:

Here's a version with basic chapters. Is this better?
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=010V4BSB