Beta testers wanted for School Panic: Prologue

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Beta testers wanted for School Panic: Prologue

#1 Post by Compulsive Liar » Fri Mar 02, 2012 6:51 am

Hey Lemma Soft Land!

I'm looking for a few brave volunteers to play through a WIP copy of School Panic: Prologue.

Describing this game is a tad difficult, simply because I haven't played anything else like it yet. I suppose you could say it is a compilation of a bunch of situations my friends and I witnessed at school. It explores house rivalries, bullying, practical jokes, getting assignments done, and gossip. Loads of gossip.

I'd originally planned to allow the protagonist to be male or female. However, now that the male story is shaping up what I'd planned for the female storyline just doesn't seem to have any teeth in comparison.

The game will take about half an hour to play through. The source is 2730 lines long, but there are multiple paths, and chunks of the game have been disabled for this beta test. Also, I haven't done the credits and a few graphics are temp, so please don't share this. The story may also change dramatically depending on the feedback I get.
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Re: Beta testers wanted for School Panic: Prologue

#2 Post by sciencewarrior » Fri Mar 02, 2012 7:15 am

I can give it a spin this weekend if you PM a link. You want feedback on the story, right? Any points in particular?
Keep your script in your Dropbox folder.
It allows you to share files with your team, keeps backups of previous versions, and is ridiculously easy to use.

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Re: Beta testers wanted for School Panic: Prologue

#3 Post by Nightydreams » Fri Mar 02, 2012 8:25 am

I'm able and willing to give this a thorough looking through. PM me a link to download it from and I'll rinse it out before giving you my verdict and a log of any bugs, mistakes etc I can find.
I believe that a man should not go back on his decisions,
But here I am deciding to break that one rule of manliness.
Because I would rather be thought less of as a man,
Then be lost as a person.

-Alexander. Infinity Ocean
Attachment and Love, is Attachment and Love, regardless of time, space or circumstance.
- Terro, The Saddest Music In The World

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Re: Beta testers wanted for School Panic: Prologue

#4 Post by Compulsive Liar » Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:55 pm

OK, I sent you two a link to the game. I'm mainly after feedback on the dialogue, and any show stopping bugs. Ideas for improvement are also good.

If possible I'd like seperate feedback on each of the three days.

So far the feedback I've gathered is along the lines of:
Day 1 - Rather dull, amusing bits here and there. <- This is the concern. I was trying to set the scene, but I don't want people to stop reading before the plot begins.
Day 2 - Woah, I did not see that coming. <- Happy with this day. Once I've got someone this far they'll want to keep reading.
Day 3 - Oh man, oh no! Muhahahaha! <- I like the direction this day takes, but some people might not like the content.

Feel free to leave your feedback in this thread if it doesn't contain spoilers.

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Re: Beta testers wanted for School Panic: Prologue

#5 Post by Nightydreams » Sat Mar 03, 2012 12:10 am

I am unable to play, I continue to get a missing font error when I try to run. Specifically I am getting this error.

Could not find the font file 'default.ttf'

Is this a problem on my end? it would seem so as others have gotton your game to run. have i neglected to download something i should have?
I believe that a man should not go back on his decisions,
But here I am deciding to break that one rule of manliness.
Because I would rather be thought less of as a man,
Then be lost as a person.

-Alexander. Infinity Ocean
Attachment and Love, is Attachment and Love, regardless of time, space or circumstance.
- Terro, The Saddest Music In The World

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Re: Beta testers wanted for School Panic: Prologue

#6 Post by Compulsive Liar » Sat Mar 03, 2012 12:20 am

That just means that your computer doesn't have a font called default.ttf

Good to know that I have to include it.

Just pop this attachment in the School Panic directory, or your Windows font directory.
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[The extension ttf has been deactivated and can no longer be displayed.]


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Re: Beta testers wanted for School Panic: Prologue

#7 Post by sciencewarrior » Sat Mar 03, 2012 9:25 am

I'm not sure if you will find this information useful, but the game worked well in Linux with Wine after I put the font file in the same directory.

I tried several different conversation choices, but I couldn't reach day 3. I always hit "This is a break" after the talk with Kaminari Kage.

I think the first day isn't too slow, as you feared, but I would change the introduction to hint at the conflicts. Nobody wants to hear about a character's happiest days, they want to hear about their most miserable ones. There's also a lot of characters showing up, and it's hard to say who is important and who isn't. Not to mention the character that everybody talks about, but never appears.
Keep your script in your Dropbox folder.
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Re: Beta testers wanted for School Panic: Prologue

#8 Post by Compulsive Liar » Sat Mar 03, 2012 7:31 pm

sciencewarrior wrote:I tried several different conversation choices, but I couldn't reach day 3.
That's horrible. Day 3 is when everything gets explained.
sciencewarrior wrote:I always hit "This is a break" after the talk with Kaminari Kage.
I put that break in because the there are five different branches there (four of them disable though for the beta test). Odd, you should be able to click on the text to continue. Perhaps it is because you are emulating. You could try with a native Linux binary.

Ubuntu 32bit
Ubuntu 64bit

You can skip ahead by right clicking and choosing skip to choice.
sciencewarrior wrote:There's also a lot of characters showing up, and it's hard to say who is important and who isn't.
Yes, that is a point. Jarrah and Yellow both seem to fill the same role.
sciencewarrior wrote:Not to mention the character that everybody talks about, but never appears.
I rather like that dynamic. One of my earlier testers declared:
Earlier Tester wrote:Who cares about what Sia thinks. I've got Suki! Wait a second, I've never even met Suki...

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Re: Beta testers wanted for School Panic: Prologue

#9 Post by Nightydreams » Wed Mar 07, 2012 12:50 am

Alright, here I am after finishing a semi-in-depth play through of the beta. I have here several things I need to point out to you and comment about.

First things first, grammar and spelling.

I am fully aware that because this is a beta it is completely possible that you have not had time to proofread it yourself or get a proofreader to do the job. However as a courtesy I must point out that there ARE several grammatical errors and spelling errors. Once again I'm pretty sure that because it's a beta I was ready to find spelling and grammar errors.

Second, pacing.

While there isn't any large problems with the "First day" as some have said your pacing of certain parts of text (namely day three) are far to quick or non-existant. Too much is thrown out too fast and while not incomprehensible it does make reading the text seriously a problem. I suggest either pacing out the text with more breaks and/or intermissions in the final work.

Third, Characters.

I am aware that you seem to be going for a more ambiguous flow of characters that can simply just melt away into the background (much like how in real life there are just too many people around you to characterise) However it is very hard for the reader to have this many characters thrown at them with such little regard. I would suggest either having the character appearances spaced out mroe evenly or try and have less characters. on the opposing side you could just throw out even more characters to give a more high school chaotic feel and not characterise them as much as you have already. I feel you could go either way, Less characters with more characterisation or more characters with less characterisation.

Fourth, Length.

Some sections of script are quite long. This is not a bad thing. On the contrary such long pieces of script can work very well in if done in a constant flow of conciousness or smiliar fashion. However your script, while feeling like a flow of conciousness (especially in the day one scene with Sia and MC discussing their assignment and the scene between Yellow and MC as yellow describes his dream) isn't effectively done in such a manner. The writing in these scenes, while well done, is slightly disjointed and could do with some revision. For example not having Drago interrupt.

Those four points are the main thigns I thought you should know. I understand it's a beta but I needed to be thorough.

Onto things I liked.

I very much enjoyed the long (potential) monologue that Yellow had with Drago on the second day, it was very pleasing to me. (except for drago interupting constantly). I loved the around about character of Sia (Her thoughts on her assignment were particularly entertaining). I also enjoyed how you seemed to be implementing a larger plot involving the houses in the school and the ever mysterious character of Suki.

Overall I find this story quite promising and look forward to seeing more. Imporvements should be made to turn it from a Visual Novel with Promise to a Very Good Visual Novel With Promise.

If you want me to beta test again at some point, or want to talk to me about my points you can PM me and I'll be happy to help.
I believe that a man should not go back on his decisions,
But here I am deciding to break that one rule of manliness.
Because I would rather be thought less of as a man,
Then be lost as a person.

-Alexander. Infinity Ocean
Attachment and Love, is Attachment and Love, regardless of time, space or circumstance.
- Terro, The Saddest Music In The World

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Re: Beta testers wanted for School Panic: Prologue

#10 Post by Compulsive Liar » Fri Mar 09, 2012 5:05 am

Nightydreams wrote:While there isn't any large problems with the "First day" as some have said your pacing of certain parts of text (namely day three) are far to quick or non-existant.
Thanks for pointing this out. I did a really poor job at organising the beta test this time around. What used to happen on the second day is that you were given a choice of what you were going to do after school. However, I only really tested third day when you picked the study activity. For the beta test I disabled the choice and set art as the activity. This not only removed an event on day three, but also added the flow-breaking encounter with hipster-chick Kiah.
Nightydreams wrote:I would suggest either having the character appearances spaced out mroe evenly or try and have less characters. on the opposing side you could just throw out even more characters to give a more high school chaotic feel and not characterise them as much as you have already. I feel you could go either way, Less characters with more characterisation or more characters with less characterisation.
Yes, this is a problem. The Kiah encounter is definitly getting removed. The rest play an important part in the plot (except the Math Teacher, mm). I'm hoping that physically categorising the students by houses will make it easier to deal with. I might also impersonalise the teachers/staff by refering to them by their job titles, eg. English Teacher, Math Teacher, Vice Principle.
Nightydreams wrote:However your script, while feeling like a flow of conciousness (especially in the day one scene with Sia and MC discussing their assignment and the scene between Yellow and MC as yellow describes his dream) isn't effectively done in such a manner. The writing in these scenes, while well done, is slightly disjointed and could do with some revision. For example not having Drago interrupt.
Nightydreams wrote:I very much enjoyed the long (potential) monologue that Yellow had with Drago on the second day, it was very pleasing to me. (except for drago interupting constantly). I loved the around about character of Sia (Her thoughts on her assignment were particularly entertaining). I also enjoyed how you seemed to be implementing a larger plot involving the houses in the school and the ever mysterious character of Suki.
It seems the VN's strength is also it's weakness. In my last beta test Sia's dialogue was compulsory viewing, and Drago didn't interrupt Yellow. I changed that due to the feedback I got, but my testers didn't normally play VNs. They wanted more action. The choice is obvious, I'll listen to my target audience (the people who play VNs). This is good news though, I really liked my first draft.

I've removed Drago's interruptions. Would adding two or three breaks back to the dialogue tree solve improve the monologue?

Also, what should I do to improve Sia's assignment discussion? I've made it complusury again, so I don't want to add breaks in. I've been working on this for a while, so I'm starting to miss obvious faults.

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Re: Beta testers wanted for School Panic: Prologue

#11 Post by Nightydreams » Fri Mar 09, 2012 5:21 am

Ah here we go! More feedback and throwing back and forth ideas! I love it!

With regards to pacing, there is nothing inherently wrong with how you have paced the VN, infact some might perfer your pacing, however a majority may not take immediate liking towards it. That is all I wanted to say. Should you wish to change the style and/or pacing in some way I will wholeheartedly give you my aid.

Firstly, I highly agree that you should remove the Kiah encounter. It was disconcerting.

Secondly, impersonalising the teachers who are not important or are generic is a very good idea, most real people never learn the names of their teachers anyway and only ever refer to them as "sir," "mam," or "Teacher"

Now onto the dialouge, sepcifically the monologues. Drago's interuptions are an annoyance and a flow breaker however that only counts towards Dragos verbal interuptions. Havign Drago's inner thoughts come through during those particular parts is fine as long as it's only two or three times spaced evenly throughout.

Adding breaks in wouldn't neccessarily improve the monologues, You should try first, then give us a look over it again with the breaks to see if it helps any. Personally I don't think it will add anything major to the script.

Finally with regards to Sia's assignment monologue on day one. You can change Drago's interuptions from verbal to inner thoughts, and include less interaction, have her drone on as if anything you say means very little (this could be a possible call back to how your opinion matters very little in the major scheme of life, just how your opinion matters very little and the grand scheme of Sia's assignment which is arguably as large as life).
I believe that a man should not go back on his decisions,
But here I am deciding to break that one rule of manliness.
Because I would rather be thought less of as a man,
Then be lost as a person.

-Alexander. Infinity Ocean
Attachment and Love, is Attachment and Love, regardless of time, space or circumstance.
- Terro, The Saddest Music In The World

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Re: Beta testers wanted for School Panic: Prologue

#12 Post by Compulsive Liar » Fri Jun 29, 2012 10:53 pm

Greetings Lemmasoft Land!

I checked out the size of the source code and it is now two and a half times bigger then it was when I had my previous beta test. So, I think it is now time to have another one.

The source code is 6845 lines long and features 37024 words. There are now three personality defining paths which have a number of smaller choice paths. This equals about seven or so different endings (depending on how you look at it).

Reply here or send me a PM if you want to help test.

The main thread for this game is here.
Last edited by Compulsive Liar on Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Beta testers wanted for School Panic: Prologue

#13 Post by Magicprincess20 » Sat Jun 30, 2012 4:43 am

Can i beta test this game?

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