For recruitment of team members to help create visual novels and story-based games, and for people who want to offer their services to create the same.
Forum rules
Do not bump threads - post some new content instead.
°Analyse the writing in the script
°Decide if the writing is well done and semi-realistic
°And if it isn't, help me correct and achieve an over-all enjoyable VN
Due to my last computer breaking down, I've lost a lot of work I had. Many scenes were written by hand in a book, so not all was lost (Yippee!) I've started writing it all, but to me, some of the scenes look too... bland. So the proof-reader/co-writer would come in to the rescue and save the script from boring-ness! This is the forum of the main idea from the game, but a lot of details were changed (Thank gosh for all the opinions and critics!) including, but not limited to:
The name of the game (Not sure what it's goning to be yet...)
Character profiles
Locations
Theme
Etc Etc..
Also, here's the newer, edited and updated summary:
When Asami was five years old, she used to pretend she was a princess. She loved being one so much that she always wished upon the night stars before going to bed that she could become one like in the fairytale books. Now 11 years later, her wish comes true, just not the way she would have expected it. Her life is turned completely upside down when she is flown all the way to a small country to be taught in the ways of royalty, and attain her rightful title as ruler. There she comes across a little, tiny detail nobody told her of. The school is full of guys. Noble guys, to be exact. And not all of them are very “noble”. She has to overcome many obstacles along the way. People not being who they say they are, some doing shady work behind your back, and sometimes, the people you trusted the most end up being your worst enemies. Yep, it’s about to get crazy in here.
Please PM me if you're interested, and if you could, send me a piece of your work. Doesn't have to be much, just a really good paragraph, with imagery and correct grammar. It's optional, though.
If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask
So far I've written:
The prologue (+2000 words)
4 meeting scenes for different guys (I haven't typed them up yet, they're in the book)
Thank you for reading!
Last edited by xxcautionxx on Wed May 02, 2012 6:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Me- White! Oranges! Cats! The Simpsons! Square root of 61! TWENTY-FOUR!!.... What was the question again? Friend- .... How are you.... Me- ..... 24?
Hey there! I've been itching to make a VN for a while, and I actually have a few ideas of my own in mind, but I haven't gotten to them yet (unfortunately I'm a bit lazy when it comes to art). I love to write though and if you're willing to put up with me, I'll be happy to help you out with editing and analysing XD
As for a sample of my writing I'd point you out to my fanfiction.net account, but a few of my stories there have been made YEARS ago and I'm not particularly proud of them (though I can't bear to take them out because they're my babies *sniff*). Therefore I shall point you to this story, which is the latest I've done. Feel free to read the others though, but you have been warned.
Last edited by icebluehost on Tue May 01, 2012 11:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Huh, this seems to be a cross between Princess Diary and Ouran High School Host Club. IIRC there was one Korean manhwa that dealt with this exact topic (Okay, maybe not exact, but it was pretty close). In other words, there are already a lot of precedents.
I'm having my hands full at the moment, but maybe I can help as a historical advisor of sort? Analyzing the semi-historical aspects of the story (How did Asami become part of the royalty of an apparently constitutional monarchy, for instance) and give suggestions, that kind of thing. If you're interested.
@lepapillonrouge
Changed to editor! And Utena as in Revolutionary Girl Utena? I read the wiki page for it, and I have to say, just from reading that I already don't like Anthy or the plot very much. Anthy is treated like a thing! Maybe I'm just being stereotypical here x)
@Argeus_the_Paladin
That'd be great if you could help me with the monarchy structure-y stuff! Like what you said, and the part where she has to convince all the royal families that she is "Ruler Material".
Me- White! Oranges! Cats! The Simpsons! Square root of 61! TWENTY-FOUR!!.... What was the question again? Friend- .... How are you.... Me- ..... 24?
It's less "convincing other royal families" and more "is she in this hypothetical country's succession line?", which is determined by whether a distant ancestor of hers used to be part of the country's royal family or not, as well as said country's constitution.
You'd also have to consider the logical repercussions of this 'girl suddenly adopted into royal family' kind of plot. I'm assuming the story is set in modern day, so it might be less of a problem, but even as near as the early 20th century the fact that a royal family has to bring in a strange girl from a completely different cultural and ethnic background by citing ancient familial connections can readily imply a succession crisis. That has always been a nasty thing throughout history, and it goes without saying that royalties have always been doing their freaking best to stop that from happening.
