Team needed for Shantlomore: Episode 1

[karimruan]

For about 9 years I had been working on a fantasy novel, writing and rewriting. It was pretty good. Last year my son destroyed my manuscript. I decided to reincarnate the concept into a VN. But, as a writer only, I need artwork. Anyone who is interested, this will be a commercial project, and royalties will be shared, and full credit will be given. I am looking for people to help with artwork as well as help me with marketing the final product. Will be a series of episodes hopefully released regularly. If you are interested, I will provide you with a windows/linux/mac build of the game, so you can see what you think. I have a very rough draft built just to help me recruit. If you would like to see the current build, (written in one day) give me your email address and I will send you a copy.

The book is copyrighted, so you don't have to worry about others stealing it from under us. I just never got a chance to publish it.

If you decide to help, I will fill you in on the main concept of the plot. Voice actors/actresses may be a good idea too.

I am looking for people to help me shape this VN by offering opinions, feedback, and ideas, as well as artwork. You will all be a major part of the work.

[karimruan]

This thread is getting views, but not replies. Please let me know what information you need... Thanks.

[karimruan]

I am attempting to attach screenshots of the development builds gameplay...

[sake-bento]

You might want to give a synopsis of what the story is about, exactly, a breakdown of characters, an estimate of the scope of the project, and a rough estimate of how much work will be necessary for whichever artist or voice steps up. Is there only one character to draw? Are there fifty? How many backgrounds? Does the main character talk all the time, or just sparingly? Is there a certain accent needed? If I'm a guy, are there any possible roles for me, or is it a cast entirely made up of females?

[karimruan]

You might want to give a synopsis of what the story is about, exactly, a breakdown of characters, an estimate of the scope of the project, and a rough estimate of how much work will be necessary for whichever artist or voice steps up. Is there only one character to draw? Are there fifty? How many backgrounds? Does the main character talk all the time, or just sparingly? Is there a certain accent needed? If I'm a guy, are there any possible roles for me, or is it a cast entirely made up of females?

Here is the basic concept of Shantlomore. My book followed a young girl named Shantlomore who was raised by her supposed father "Philith", an innkeeper in a small village called The Gallow. Shantlomore is the sole main character at first, with the addition of a son later on. She is engaged to a man named Ephysus, who leaves town two days before the wedding to go on some unnamed quest. Philith tells her the truth about her mother and father, and hints at her being part of something big.

After telling her, they are attacked by the minions of Lord Anach, and philith is presumed dead after the attack. Shantlomore learns that her voice can be used to dispell evil by learning the right songs, which her mother (who is died in the Inn after giving birth to her) reveals to her in dreams.

She ends up having a son, Arius, who is being trained in the Jaed arts, a mystical martial art.
The receive an invite to live in the castle as Arius moves up in rank, being a nominee for the Royal Guard.

The story follows several plots in it's first incarnation, with will most likely be divided into episodes.
The first episode follows the events up to their moving into the castle, with intertwined plots involving Jessiah, a mysterious stranger who keeps chancing upon shantlomore, and the disappearance of Arius' trainer, Fyesh Anahelm.

But this all leads up to a plot to assasinate the king, which stems from Lord Anach, who is presumed dead after shantlomore learns to use her powers.

This is not a very good account of the book, and leaves out alot, but I don't really know how to write about all of it in a condensed form, so I did my best.

The characters:

Shantlomore: A young, beautiful, innocent looking 25 year old red head. Icy blue eyes.

Philith: Her supposed father, elderly, maybe around 60. Grey hair, grey beard. Very wise and kind.

Draconian Monks: Basically just a lizard/dragon humanoid, serving Lord Anach.

Arius: A young, redheaded but intelligent beyond his age teenager. Is studying a mystical martial art called the Jaed arts.

King Solaras: Is rarely seen in the VN, and I really can't remember what I pictured him looking like. He wa royalty though, and acted like it.

Lord Anach: Lord of the draconian monks, arrived in the Blue Realm (the name for the world they live in) by some mysterious fire storm.
Pale skin, white eyes, long finger nails, and long black hair. You can take liberty with him, because I want to see how evil he can get.

Jessiah: An adventurer, heard rumors of shantlomore and her fight with Lord Anach. Shoulder length brown hair, some facial hair, and leather armor. Carries a bow and a dagger at all times. Eventually, Shantlomore and Jessiah begin a relationship, and this grows and is expanded upon throughout the assassination plot.

Assassin: Basically like a ninja based off the Draconian Monks.

Backgrounds:

A tree on a hill, looking at the sunset, two moons visable in the horizon. This is shantlomores thinking spot.

Inside the Gallow's Inn, where Shantlomore, Arius, and originally, Philith live. Very rustic, candle lit, DIY furniture.

In a cage in a dungeon. Shantlomore is held here before being summoned by lord anach.

Lord Anach's lair. Think hell in a cave. That is how I picture it, with plenty of grotesque images to boot. Feel free to take liberty with those.

Graveyard: Showing a tombstone for Ephysus, who is presumed dead (He is really held captive by Lord Anach followers in Lord Anach's castle.

Castle throne room: Where King Solaras always is.

Castle Feasting room: Where Fyesh Anahelm, King Solaras, Arius and Shantlomore have a feast to celebrate Arius' promotion to the Royal Guard.

Castle courtyard: A full out garden, filled with all kinds of exotic plants. Feel free to create whatever kinds of fantasy plants you wish.

That is basically it for the first episode. Like I said, I plan to release many episodes, following the whole book. But, I am working totally from memory, so any ideas of how to make it better are welcome!

[karimruan]

And yes, male voices would be great!

[karimruan]

Anybody intersted? I will share profit with the team, split by however many are on the team!

I am really looking for about three people, an artist and two voice actors/actresses.

[karimruan]

Just realized I could upload my demo here. For those who want to see more, here it is. It is very raw right now, and I didn't fix the spelling errors yet, but... It is for Windows/Mac/Linux.

[neowired]

Your grammar here is broken. I think you should review it, there are just too many strange grammatical errors. It's completely ungrammatical.

You should also supply both a 10-15 word summary of the story, and another, slightly longer, perhaps 30-50 word one. If you are unable to do this it may mean your story lacks a clear, understandable, coherent plot with clear goals, and you may need to review that as well.

Because of the above I'm unable to tell you much. I think this story may be good after you'd polish it up a bit, but for now it's hardly readable to me. And you were unable to supply a clear summary.

[karimruan]

Your grammar here is broken. I think you should review it, there are just too many strange grammatical errors. It's completely ungrammatical.

You should also supply both a 10-15 word summary of the story, and another, slightly longer, perhaps 30-50 word one. If you are unable to do this it may mean your story lacks a clear, understandable, coherent plot with clear goals, and you may need to review that as well.

Because of the above I'm unable to tell you much. I think this story may be good after you'd polish it up a bit, but for now it's hardly readable to me. And you were unable to supply a clear summary.

It isn't that I can't supply a clear summary, it is that I am still working out the kinks in turning my 900 page manuscript into either:

a. a series of 30 min. VN's
b. one long VN.

I threw that together in less than an hour just to get brainstorming, and thought I could use it to get others to help with me. As I spent 9 years writing it, it is my baby (and far less full of errors, believe me), I am a little nervous about giving out too much information. But, I have decided to not make it commercial, and since I have a copyright, it wouldn't hurt to give out more information. Once the holiday stress clears up, I will provide everyone with a more detailed outline of the first episode (or entire thing, whichever route I go) so everyone can have more information. The book was very detailed, and had many sub-plots which I may have to sacrifice, or release and seperate, branch off episodes.

Thank you for your feedback though, it is appreciated.

[Pantamorph]

Well, I played the short episode and I would recommend you to:
1) Make the text before the appearance of the draconian monk stay longer because some people can't read fast
2) When Shantlomore is facing Lord Anach, remove the 3rd choice, because it makes the storyline look stupid (You can't let the player give up so soon)
The episode was too short to figure out the main storyline so I can't say I remembered it well (A good VN is a VN that you can't forget once you played it, keep this in mind)

[neowired]

It would be good if you could make a short demo with clean text, if you want to show off the text. you could do it without any graphic at all.

A demo of such sort wouldn't need more than let's say 1000 or 2000 words, by which the testers could decide if the story and writing level looks promising enough to put their own time in helping you

As for turning your "900 page manuscript" into a novel, I advise you to start small.
Find something which can be turned into an, at most, few hour long kinetic novel, of which you can easily sum up the plot in one sentence.

From what you wrote about your text it sounds more like a... mythology or a history book than it sounds of a story
Remember, often when writing - less means more. This stands especially when trying to sum something up. You don't want to explain everything, you don't want to reveal everything, tell the complete story. What you want to do first and foremost is to give an overall idea of what the story is about like: "An epic romance between the heirs of two antagonistic families", or "A sad tale about a young girl trying to find her long lost friend", or "an amnesiac demon hunter travels through a dystopian world looking for clues about his family" etc

What you wrote for now is rather confusing and I'm still not ensure what this story is supposed to be about. Even though all readers aren't morons, most of them aren't geniuses either, so cut us some slack and sum the story up in a more understandable fashion, please.

I hope I didn't write anything offending, for that is rarely my goal.

[karimruan]

It would be good if you could make a short demo with clean text, if you want to show off the text. you could do it without any graphic at all.

A demo of such sort wouldn't need more than let's say 1000 or 2000 words, by which the testers could decide if the story and writing level looks promising enough to put their own time in helping you

As for turning your "900 page manuscript" into a novel, I advise you to start small.
Find something which can be turned into an, at most, few hour long kinetic novel, of which you can easily sum up the plot in one sentence.

From what you wrote about your text it sounds more like a... mythology or a history book than it sounds of a story
Remember, often when writing - less means more. This stands especially when trying to sum something up. You don't want to explain everything, you don't want to reveal everything, tell the complete story. What you want to do first and foremost is to give an overall idea of what the story is about like: "An epic romance between the heirs of two antagonistic families", or "A sad tale about a young girl trying to find her long lost friend", or "an amnesiac demon hunter travels through a dystopian world looking for clues about his family" etc

What you wrote for now is rather confusing and I'm still not ensure what this story is supposed to be about. Even though all readers aren't morons, most of them aren't geniuses either, so cut us some slack and sum the story up in a more understandable fashion, please.

I hope I didn't write anything offending, for that is rarely my goal.

Nothing offensive, don't worry. Writing a synopsis was never a strength for me. I will take your advice and have something in the next two days, for now, work is calling...

[Pantamorph]

Yes, I agree with neowired, it's better to show off a lot of text, than a too short intro with free images, and I also suggest you to make this game in NVL mode, since your manuscript is big