Lemma Soft Forums

I've been trying my hand at writing VN scripts recently, and I'm having trouble with pacing. My method for dialogue scenes is to put out something related to the work's theme, something to further the work's plot, and then wrap those two together into a conversation in-character in order to get in some characterization too. Throw in a few laughable lines if your characters are funny, and call it a day.

In a traditional novel, this is enough due to the at-times-frustrating amount of description. Without that, though, dialogue scenes seem to take less than a minute or three to read. What are my options to remedy this? Should I--God forbid--add fluff? Add descriptions I previously deemed unnecessary due to the visuals? Add short-term plot elements which have no bearing on the theme or overarching plot? What's worse is I'm quite happy with the macroscopic pacing... does that mean I ought to combine what I currently have as many scenes into one long scene? But then how best do I show the passage of time through a day without simply making my script unnecessarily long ala Tsukihime?

If it were my VN, I would not add fluff or descriptions of things the reader can see in the visuals. If you're happy with the macroscopic pacing. let things be.
Regarding passage of time, I'd throw in a text slide with the words "An hour later . . ."

Very respectfully,
fleet

If you're happy with the pacing and quantity then don't bother adding pointless fluff. If it's a real bother then try reading the conversation aloud. Does it feel like a real life conversation should? You can always add in the MC's thought process as well, so there is a contrast between what he is thinking and what he is saying to this person.

pondrthis wrote:...I'm quite happy with the macroscopic pacing...

Then please do keep it that way. I think we put too much emphasis on word counts and how LONG a game is, when really, we should spend more time focusing on telling the story.

Actually I'm saying the projected word count based on macroscopic pacing is what I'm pleased with. I'm not pleased with how some scenes seem choppy and short, then slapped together.

Then again, I just went over my first script file (~10k words) and the pacing is a-okay there... I should compare this second, problematic script to that and see what the issue is. I mean, the ACTUAL issue is I'm only trying to set up something later in the file and these scenes have no purpose outside of that. I guess that's my problem right there... time for some deep thoughts.

What genre is this? Because you can always say that it's slice-of-life and therefore conversations that don't contribute much can seem a contrast to scenes of drama later on in the climax.

It took me a while to identify the subgenre of visual novels called SLG (Simulated Life Game). I've always wondered why these things go on forever with nothing much happening (while I can read a novel in a few sittings). It dawned on me that their target market is otaku, NEETs, and hikikomori, those with hundreds of hours to kill. The games are essentially simulating life with 2D girls, so exciting plot isn't really needed most of the time.

Suspense/Life-or-Death Drama