Hayzel wrote:I recently discovered after sending my artist the written version of my game that I've not only managed to make some major Word Document to Ren'py translation errors, I've also managed to become misguidedly cliche and predictable. So, my fellow writers, do any of you have sort of a checklist that you go through when writing your script so that you can avoid these mistakes?
In terms of Cliché and predictable -
Try to avoid using character deaths as an emotional driver in of themselves. Make some significance of their death, if they do die.
Avoid having every character do excessive exposition, though some people(including myself at times) seem to like that. It is a bit of a hallmark of Nasu's writing though.
"Mysterious" and "Surprising" things are one of the things you definitely must do right, and avoid if you can't. There are too many things that start with "Where am I?", "What's going on?" "What is that thing!?". Surprising or mysterious things must actually FEEL like that. Would you find yourself taken aback by that if you were reading a VN with a scene like that? If no - reconsider how your characters react to it. At the same time, having the character act unsurprised or too much like the reader would is also a Cliché associated with poor writing, very common in amateur works based off "Shonen" stuff trying too hard to avoid the surprise when a character unleashes an awesome power.
Sometimes characters are going to be surprised or impressed - or intrigued, but make sure it feels natural. Don't put yourself beyond giving characters
surprising reactions to these things too. Not everyone in some fantastical setting is going to react in a manner that seems to make sense - just as real people sometimes don't. Again - this can lead to an easy cliché of the insane, Joker type character who finds everything hilarious and reacts "randomly".
Similarly if you're doing random - make sure it means "random" and not the orderly, hipster weeaboo kind of "random" that usually involves sporks, cheese and monkeys.
In terms of surprise especially - don't show us a character who can kick holes in planets and expect us to get impressed. Just because you describe a character that way within an apparently consistent narrative doesn't mean you've done your work and we'll believe it. Give us reason to believe it. Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann is a great example of something that builds itself up in a way that you actually "feel" the scale getting bigger and bigger.
A lot of these things are acquired skills, there's no way to explain how to do them right - but I can at least point out they're generally areas that need the most focus. Trying to avoid them can if you can't do it might be limiting, but can result in an interesting and unconventional story with characters that don't react in the normal way.
The one thing that really bothers me is when characters end up as know-it-alls to try and avoid the typical Shonen style "surprise" at a revelation, acting like they knew everything ahead of time even if they're not protrayed as particularly intelligent or manipulative characters. Every character is not Izaya, and even Izayas can be fallible. "Patrician" type characters(See; Discworld) tend to annoy me a bit too. Perfection annoys people, but so does starting with a perfect character and introducing half-assed flaws. Try and build characters from the ground up instead of top down, unless you're purposely creating a "Deconstruction" type story, like Madoka is to Magical Girls, Eva to Mecha, etc.
Avoiding falling back on stereotypes unless they're particularly humorous and fit the overall feel(See: Team Fortress 2 for how to use charicatures correctly). Don't worry too much if a character does turn out to fit a mould though - you can't be completely original all the time, so don't try to be, and don't mess up a good character just because they seem to fit a certain description - in a long VN with complex character interactions, there's plenty of chance they will react or say something unexpected without you forcing it.
Don't have all your female characters have huge boobs, and be either moeblobs~ swooning over the main or having that faux-feminist, something to prove kind of attitude. Don't have all your guys be like Shonen leads.
Don't set out to make a character "as a tsundere" "strong silent type" etc. unless your plot or group of characters require such a thing. I know some people are very attached to these archetypes and want "one of their own", but realise everyone else does too. Again, if you have a character that fits into these archetypes, don't strip them of it or add random bullshit character quirks, but at least try to make them interesting examples of the trope.
Hit up TV Tropes maybe and take a look. Tropes aren't things to avoid, or that you can avoid, but some of the more obnoxious ones, you may want to steer clear of.
More later. Might collect these in a seperate thread.
While I enjoyed it some what, I found Red Shift to be a good study in terms of certain Clichés to avoid.