Get your Brutally Honest Reviews here

[Anna]

Wait, so then where would you suggest to get royalty-free music that you can't get sued over or have to pay for (Magnatune doesn't help since I can't afford a subscription membership fee)? I can't read music or make it to save my life and I'm already doing everything else on my own in my project. So I felt utterly bad that I'm using Kevin McLeod's songs in my project ; __ ; And I feel like I can't pay for a music composer here so... yeah...

There are more places if you look long enough, but yes it's hard. I suggest looking around here: http://www.jamendo.com/en

That's a large site where musicians upload their songs or tracks and tell you what you can do with them. You can find some really nice music there.

[Twisted-Eva]

There are more places if you look long enough, but yes it's hard. I suggest looking around here: http://www.jamendo.com/en

That's a large site where musicians upload their songs or tracks and tell you what you can do with them. You can find some really nice music there.

Well it looks like it's free to download for personal use, but it sounds like if I put it in my visual novel and released it for free on the internet, then I'll have to pay hundreds of dollars for them :\. Thank you for your help though

[Anna]

Well it looks like it's free to download for personal use, but it sounds like if I put it in my visual novel and released it for free on the internet, then I'll have to pay hundreds of dollars for them :\. Thank you for your help though :D

No it isn't always like that, It depends on the musician :)! Check what kind of licenses they use (I think it's mentioned somewhere in the right row when you click on an album). A lot of them are free if you don't use the music for commercial projects!

[jjbproductions]

music
+ nice fitting music (though I love classical music so I'm biased ). Kudos for not using Kevin McLeod's ever repeating dull melodies.

Wait, so then where would you suggest to get royalty-free music that you can't get sued over or have to pay for (Magnatune doesn't help since I can't afford a subscription membership fee)? I can't read music or make it to save my life and I'm already doing everything else on my own in my project. So I felt utterly bad that I'm using Kevin McLeod's songs in my project ; __ ; And I feel like I can't pay for a music composer here so... yeah...

Check out http://opengameart.org/ It has free music and art (art is normally not suitable for a visual novel but more for platformers and RPGS). Make sure you look at the licenses for every song as some require you credit the author.

[Morishita]

Would it be possible to have someone review my NaNoReNo Demo game once I finish getting the newly proofread files back from my proofreader? I would really like to know if I should add something more to make the storyline more clear or if anything is confusing or what-ever else. I've been so busy working on my comic and getting prepared for Curse of the Caribbean and soon to be done School Memories that I haven't been very active on the forum but if anyone is willing to review them newly proofread demo when I get it posted up I would really appreciate it.
I hope know one feels to scared to critique me because I could really use helpful insight on how others see my story.

[Cidz]

Also if you have time and are doing WIP games, I would LOVE any feedback (no matter how harsh) on WWOH (i don't have a demo or anything atm...but even if you can let me know something from that thread that be great ~)

Yay, a WIP!

I don't have time to read through the thread now, but what immediately caught my attention from the screenshots is that the sprites are placed so low/so small they appear to be much shorter than the protagonist. They appear to be midgets at the moment o_o;!

Usually the eye-level of someone having the same height as you is up higher. Maybe the image below helps explain it. The right one is the one I adjusted, just by making him bigger. The left is the original.

Overall the art looks really nice though!

Well actually....he's suppose to look short. Although I think I should raise him up a bit. Chris is very short, (his sister is even shorter in fact the height I have chris right now, should be his sister, Eva. Because Eva really does seem almost midget height) I did want Chris to appear short, however. I also thought of raising Mason and Mr. Martin up pretty high because they are the tallest (everyone else would be about the height you put chris) Unless of course, you think I should make everything equal height? Which I don't mind doing, if it looks better. (I hope to get Alice's sprites by the end of this month, shes normal height, so I wanted to compare her and Chris together)

Anyway thank you for your opinons! If you ever have anymore please let me know, I really want to do our best with this game.

[Applegate]

Either way, I certainly didn't mean to say or imply that you can't write at all, so please don't take it that way. Also, my critique was mostly minor things which bothered me, those automatically appear as more but they don't count as much as the more broader points.

I hope that explains it better? ^^;

Well, yes, it definitely does. I consider writing more important than plot, because at the end of the day the same plot is different depending on the writer... but when there's a list three times as large of minus points than plus points, and the plus points are "natural sentences" and "good spelling", it kinda comes off that way. (especially, as a writer, I should hope that I know spelling and grammar!)

So as I understand right, the opening was stronger than the rest of the piece because it was not-mundane, where the rest of the tale fell back on the mundane. All right, now I understand better.

Twisted-Eva: I can't pay for a musician either, but both my VNs have had composers compose music for it especially. I'd propose writing in the Recruitment forum, or approaching some of the musicians here. Other videogame portals also have musicians you can ask. Not everyone wants monetary compensation for what they do; creating a portfolio is also of import.

[Anna]

Well, yes, it definitely does. I consider writing more important than plot, because at the end of the day the same plot is different depending on the writer... but when there's a list three times as large of minus points than plus points, and the plus points are "natural sentences" and "good spelling", it kinda comes off that way. (especially, as a writer, I should hope that I know spelling and grammar!)

I'm glad my other explanation cleared things up, don't hesitate to ask for clarification if I'm vague again sometime. And as for writing, I see writing as the way you write, such as your style. While I see the story/plot as what happens, what questions are raised etc. Basically all of the content. So all I ask of writing is grammar and a style which is easy to read ^^;, I don't look much further.

So as I understand right, the opening was stronger than the rest of the piece because it was not-mundane, where the rest of the tale fell back on the mundane. All right, now I understand better.

Yup, that. You were wondering 'what will happen?' and it was a surprising question/happening, so it became interesting. The rest of the story kind of lacked such a leading question to get you curious, aside from the questions I posted in my review (but those weren't really answered well).

@Cidz:

It's fine to have some height difference, but he seems unnatural small in the original sprite. As if he was drawn with normal proportions/height before and then downscaled. I don't know how else to put it, it looks very strange ^^;.

[Cidz]

@ susan - yeah now that I take a better look at it, you're right it does look strange haha! I guess sometimes it takes someone else to point it out for you to notice it. Well thanks, when I get home today I'll mess around with the height a bit more.

[Coren]

Can I request for a Brutally Honest Review of Ribbon of Green? It's my first VN and I want to know truthfully how I fared.

[clua]

I've been meaning to tear apart and reassemble this little VN for a while. A Brutally Honest Review! would really help me with that process. Here's a direct download. Just so you know, it's very short (about 15 minutes, I would say?). Warning: even though this isn't a hentai game, there are explicit descriptions of sex and violence.

well I think I cant be much br00tal but I will try ahaha...

The good facts:
+I really really like your choices on music, they fitted very well!
+Also the sfx were nice, enchanced a lot the feeling of each scene.
+I liked a lot what happened when you pressed help on the main menu ahaha

Things to fix or improve!:
+I think, that if you make a VN with photos, then make everything with photos! The main menu looks weird because It looks way different from the rest of the pictures of the game. It should conserve unity.
+some of the images, like the glasses, has white borders(thats a total DO NOT!) You can clean them with pen tool on photoshop(let me know if you need a tut or something! I can make one)
+The interface surely needs work, It wouldnt be that bothering if it werent pink I guess.

Things that Im not sure if they are wrong:
+

The part where the f*cked up father shoots her daughter, how many bullets does a gun has? I thought he shoot a lot of bullets, but anyway we are talking about future guns

+I think the ending credits where a little disordered....But I cant really tell what order it should have orz

I really like the writting It was very intense in some parts, but I felt some of the endings washed out the feeling of that intensity.("What else would I mean, the Disney dog?"<-this really got me haha)... I really wanted to go inside the game and beat that guy ahaha.

;_; . I hope I was useful in some things!

[TrickWithAKnife]

If anyone would like me to look at stuff, I'm willing to look at WIP stuff.

You should know ahead of time that I've been a freelance writer for several years. I've sold short stories, a graphic novel, and I've got a romantic suspense with an agent being shopped around to publishers (with more in the wings waiting to be sold).

So I'm a stickler about story/syntax/grammar, etc. Only for the brave.

Hopefully I can get your brutally harsh view later with my own WIP.
Right now we are in the early stages, so there isn't a clear writing style. Hopefully we an figure out something interesting, because my own writing is horrendous. I need to find a suitable style to use.

[Calissa Leigh]

I went to go look at it, but whenever you are ready for it, send it along. I've been trudging my way through learning Japanese, so I'm particularly interested in it.

[TrickWithAKnife]

I'm in the process of a big rewrite at the moment.
There were problems with the pacing of the Japanese, so I'm addressing that now.
Apart from my phone, I have no Internet until the 8th, so I'll upload what I have then.
Of course, if you'd like to be part of it, we have a spot open for a co-writer....

[dizzcity]

Would you mind doing another brutally honest review? Wedding Vows.

So far, the comments about this project have all been rather short, so I'm interested to see if a more thorough review would unearth some deeper problems. (It's a little old, though... but stylistically, perhaps there are some things I can learn and apply to my next project.)

-Dizzy-