Two visual novel ideas...

A place to discuss things that aren't specific to any one creator or game.
Forum rules
Ren'Py specific questions should be posted in the Ren'Py Questions and Annoucements forum, not here.
Post Reply
Message
Author
risingdreams
Regular
Posts: 139
Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 8:00 pm
Contact:

Two visual novel ideas...

#1 Post by risingdreams »

Hello, I'm Ana the nooblet. I was thinking about making two visual novels. I have ideas. They're both weird and could be offensive. I even found images for the game on the internet, but I have a few problems:

I hope I'm not annoying, being offensive or an idiot.

1) English isn't my native language. My prose is better in my native language.
2) Few people in my country read amateur visual novels, so maybe I should make it in English. Or maybe not. Maybe I should create one of the first amateur visual novels on my native language.
3) I have no idea on where the visual novel would be set. Japan? My country? Maybe some English speaking country?


Idea 1:
The protagonist is a very shy girl and insecure girl who enjoys cooking and reading. She's studying in a boarding school because her parents are working overseas. She only has a friend, an outgoing young woman. The protagonist wants to join the book club, but it's too shy for that. One day, she's hit by a car. She's badly injured and spends six months in a coma.

Her parents visited her a few times while she was comatose, but returned to work already, even though they called her doctor every day. Her transferred to another school, but not before leaving her a letter. The protagonist is pretty upset, for obvious reasons. The learns from the nurses that a boy from her school visited her a few times. He left him a letter and a book. The letter hinted he belonged to the book club. But the protagonist didn't know who he was and wanted to thank him for the book.

The protagonist joins the club, so she could find out who he was. She also always wanted an excuse to join the club, and now she got one. There are four people in the club: three boys and a girl, one of them being a new transfer student (so, he didn't send her the letter). Lonely, she also tries to make new friends, even though it's very hard for her.

Will she find friendship and maybe love? Will she find out who was the boy?


Idea 2:
The protagonist is a very rich, spoiled boy who hangs out with lots of people, even though they only do so because of his money. The protagonist is a jerk to most people he knows, even to the girl he honestly likes.

He was such an ass that he ended up driving her away, and that made him think about his attitude. He tries to make up for his mistakes, but fails. Then he suffers an accident and dies. His returns to Earth, desperate to redeem himself. But there's a price to do this: all spirits have something named "spiritual energy". Without it, they're forced to return to the underworld and reincarnate.

Materializing in the living world costs spiritual energy, specially while faking another appearance and making itself tangible, which is what the protagonist is doing because a dead guy walking around would caught every one's attention. A more experienced ghost informs the protagonist he'll run out of spiritual energy in a month or so.

So the protagonist needs to make up with that person in a month, so he can rest in peace.



Thank you and forgive me if I annoyed you.
Last edited by risingdreams on Tue Sep 29, 2009 3:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
icon from x_dirge_icons@LJ

User avatar
Aleema
Lemma-Class Veteran
Posts: 2677
Joined: Fri May 23, 2008 2:11 pm
Organization: happyB
Tumblr: happybackwards
Contact:

Re: Two visual novel ideas...

#2 Post by Aleema »

First of all, I love both of the ideas.
But I love the first idea the most. I want to know who the boy is, too!
DO IT! DO IT! :D

And your English isn't all that bad, really. Just a few mistakes when it comes to pronouns. :)
If you want an English editor, there are plenty here (including me), so just ask!

...du glace

Re: Two visual novel ideas...

#3 Post by ...du glace »

They're unique, but I think they would both make great stories. <3

maufii
Regular
Posts: 56
Joined: Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:55 am
Projects: Diggin Deep(IP) and Dream Walker(IP)
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: Two visual novel ideas...

#4 Post by maufii »

I like both of your ideas, but personally I like the idea about the dead asshole best! >xD Even if you're not great at English you can always find someone to edit your stuff and correct your grammar. I'd do it if I get to read an awesome story in the process! : D Anyways, how would any of us on the Renpy forum get to enjoy your game if you made it in your native language? (sadly trying to persuade)

inkuisetive

Re: Two visual novel ideas...

#5 Post by inkuisetive »

I like the first one better...but they're both great.

What's your native language,BTW ?

Magedark
Regular
Posts: 28
Joined: Fri Jan 02, 2009 3:32 am
Projects: The 4Koma Visual Novel Thingy
Contact:

Re: Two visual novel ideas...

#6 Post by Magedark »

I vote for both of them, with a slight preference towards the first one.

risingdreams
Regular
Posts: 139
Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 8:00 pm
Contact:

Re: Two visual novel ideas...

#7 Post by risingdreams »

Aleema wrote:First of all, I love both of the ideas.
But I love the first idea the most. I want to know who the boy is, too!
DO IT! DO IT! :D

And your English isn't all that bad, really. Just a few mistakes when it comes to pronouns. :)
If you want an English editor, there are plenty here (including me), so just ask!
Alright! Thanks. I admit that I'm realy bad with pronouns X_X.
...du glace wrote:They're unique, but I think they would both make great stories. <3
Thanks. ^^
maufii wrote:I like both of your ideas, but personally I like the idea about the dead asshole best! >xD Even if you're not great at English you can always find someone to edit your stuff and correct your grammar. I'd do it if I get to read an awesome story in the process! : D Anyways, how would any of us on the Renpy forum get to enjoy your game if you made it in your native language? (sadly trying to persuade)
I'm thinking about making the first idea first... But I intend making both. Thanks a lot for the offer ^_^.
inkuisetive wrote:I like the first one better...but they're both great.

What's your native language,BTW ?
Thanks ^^. It's Portuguese.
Magedark wrote:I vote for both of them, with a slight preference towards the first one.
I intend making both, but the first one... First. Unless it turns out I completely suck at Ren Py XD. But I'll try my best to learn.
icon from x_dirge_icons@LJ

Alphonse
Regular
Posts: 105
Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2008 7:32 pm
Contact:

Re: Two visual novel ideas...

#8 Post by Alphonse »

I like both ideas! And if you're going to make them in Portuguese, please make an English translation, too! You can't just tell us about it and expect us to not want to play it. I want to play it as well....

And your grammar is actually very good! Except for the pronoun mistakes here and there, it looks like a native speaker's. I'm sure a lot of us would be happy to be your proofreader.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users