hmmm....IMHO
for me, I think it's okay....but I feel it's been used for a number of games...
if it's heavy drama, ten it's okay... using it in comedy is okay too....
because I never encountered a game with elements like that....
I think this has been done so many times that memory loss by itself won't be interesting or novel. If the memory loss leads to some new storyline, (as is usually the case with the memory loss trope anyways) then that can be interesting and surprising, but if you mess up and either just have the memory loss or a new storyline that isn't emotionally engaging or interesting, then people will call you unoriginal.
Well like I said, this isn't exactly a story based in reality, it's not even a human experiencing the loss and it's from giving up her races equivalent of a phylactery.
So what i'm saying, if it's done originally is it okay?
Like my story, the girl gives up her phylactery to prevent a horrible death from coming to the main character causing her to forget everything, lose her emotions, and lose her personality. The MC tries to find it but realizes it's impossible and instead just tries to make new memories and get her to fall for him again.
Is that original enough?
My handle is Shoe, please use it if you prefer.
International League of Magical Girls
Story: 60%
Script: 15%
Art: 33.33%
Music: 0.002%
Comedy: <9000%
It's not really original so far, but a story generally tends to get more original once you start writing and you start feeling in more details to the plot, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Also, original doesn't necessarily mean interesting to read or emotionally engaging, so it'll also depend on whether you characters are identifiable, plot pacing, suspense, and such. I can't tell you much more than that without first knowing more about what you're trying to make.
Well I noticed there are a lot where the characters try and get the memories back (ex Nanatsuiro drops, Tomoyo after) and don't give it up. In this he realizes it and decides not to go after them after a while and instead just make new memories.
She never gets her memories back by the way
And i'm not giving away a lot of the plot on purpose, I think it's got quite a bit more going for it but I was just wondering if it's general premise was relatively original.
The point is I didn't want it to be too cliched.
Also i'd put up a demo if I knew what I needed to do to make a WIP thread.
Edit: Yes I noticed the story is a pile of cliches but it's only because I haven't given much story.
My handle is Shoe, please use it if you prefer.
International League of Magical Girls
Story: 60%
Script: 15%
Art: 33.33%
Music: 0.002%
Comedy: <9000%
Yes, it's a cliche. Perhaps already used too often. But I don't mind if it's used again, as long as the plot is good, and the reason of memory loss is acceptable and not cheap (a hard hit to the head).
"Double the princesses, quadruple the fun!" - Haken Browning (SRW-OG Endless Frontier)
Well like I've said, it's not cheap. (in my opinion) She gives up the item that holds her "life force" which is really her personality, memories, and all the feelings she had felt before that moment so that the MC doesn't get killed.
Of course it makes sense that it could happen when you realize that she's not human and it's in a fantasy world.
Also, what are the rules for making a WIP thread, specifically the "links to work" one? Does that mean I have to upload it or something?
My handle is Shoe, please use it if you prefer.
International League of Magical Girls
Story: 60%
Script: 15%
Art: 33.33%
Music: 0.002%
Comedy: <9000%
I say if you can make it interesting cliche or innovation dosen't matter. In fact some of my personal faveorite stories aren't innovative at all. The story just dpes everything well. (I don't know how many will agree with me but Historys Strongest Disciple Kenichi is pretty standard shounen, but I love it. Fist of the North Star wasn't really all that innovative either, but it put elements together into an unbelivibly sweet mix.)
If the memory loss is at the beginning and has little to no point of reference for the reader it just comes off as unnecessary. Be careful of how you execute it, it seems a bit melodramatic right now because it is fairly "self contained".
It happens pretty far in after a good bit of bonding between the characters and it affects them all, i'm not sure what you mean by "self contained" but I don't think it is.
So uh... Yeah...
My handle is Shoe, please use it if you prefer.
International League of Magical Girls
Story: 60%
Script: 15%
Art: 33.33%
Music: 0.002%
Comedy: <9000%
"Self-contained" is that from the few details you've provided:
linkdragon0 wrote:
Like my story, the girl gives up her phylactery to prevent a horrible death from coming to the main character causing her to forget everything, lose her emotions, and lose her personality. The MC tries to find it but realizes it's impossible and instead just tries to make new memories and get her to fall for him again.
Based on this, it comes off as "well she's a brand new slate now" and (from the limited info) only the MC is affected/cares. Just be careful about how her 'new' personality is handled. (At worse this writing can seem like you're ditching one character and potentially starting up a whole new one while still adhering to a "true love" story for the MC- this is just a warning, not a criticism as I really don't know a whole lot about the story.)
S/N: If my explanation confuses you, don't hesitate to drop me a PM.