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PostPosted: Sun Aug 02, 2015 6:24 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 8:15 am
Posts: 13
Projects: Flow of Phantasmagoria
Deviantart: RunereiaNoRirii
Image


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Current Progress Photo: 39 Pages
This VN is being made using scanned hand-drawn pictures, using pencils, a black liner and colored pencils plus some other drawing tools.
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(Currently, I have 65 pages.)

Story

Lilli has spent most of her life completely blind, deaf... simply lacking all of the senses(including the non-traditional ones), and kept alive by the gemstone she lives in (Zoisite). Not only that, she also lives in an universe composed of long hexagon-shaped rods that together make masses of land. Just as she first awakens the sense of vision and the basic space-time senses, she is able to see the world for herself. On her way, she awakens more senses such as hearing(one of the five senses) or pain(non-traditional sense). She feels bored in this world because of being in a clear stone that not only works as an effective prison, but also resists magic! It's a mysterious stone of darkness that may even hurt the one inside if not careful.

Lilli doesn't know that even her physical actions are, in fact, magical, so the stone hurts her quite often. The stone also reacts to her emotions, this can even lead to positive results, meaning that the Zoisite can also help her.

As the story develops in the second chapter, she befriends three spirits - of the elements: Light, Water and Earth. These three spirits will grow older and accompany Lilli in the future.

Characters

Lilli

The protagonist! Lilli is childish and immature at the beginning. She can't speak, read, doesn't get hungry because of the zoisite, and more. There is a very tough way ahead of her. Oh, and yes. "Lilli" spelled with an "i" is done on purpose. (more info later)

Future Lilli

A fearful, adult version of Lilli who only appears at the beginning of each chapter - leading to a choice (This VN is mostly kinetic, this is, so far, the only planned exception). She insists that you terminate your journey as soon as possible. Not much is known about her, including the "apocalyptic" future she warns you about. Later on, she reveals some key information that enhance the story.


Silvervine

Lilli's spirit of light.
He's the one riding a wolf. He is a calm and kind-hearted character.


Copy
The one with the naginata.


???
Lilli's spirit of water. She is the one wearing the blue cloak. Likes to toy with others but respects her friends.


Blackboar
He's the one who jumps down with the axe. He won't appear until very late of the game. An antagonist.


Lef'ee
The mage with the green staff. He won't appear until very late of the game. An antagonist.


Alca
One of my old characters!!(dA link) She, too, however, won't appear until very late of the game.She's a very major antagonist.


Here are some pages from the game. I tried to pick some of the best or most emotional ones (but spoiler-free) out of the bunch:
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Here is a little screenshot as an example, I replaced the old one.
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So, let me know if you like the project so far.

1)Does this VN look good so far for my first try?
2)Do you think there should be more characters? (I am planning more, but I am not intending to make my story character heavy, except for an army as hinted in the poster.)
3)Is the simple artwork satisfactory?

4)Is it okay for you that this novel will most likely be mostly kinetic? (Assuming that the answers you give to Future Lilli might do some changes) (This VN won't be kinetic after all, feel free to skip this question.)
5)Is the story confusing you? I tried to exclude as many spoilers as I could ><

New questions:
6)Would you like to see a short demo?
7)Are there any things you are loking forward to?


Last edited by RunereianLilli on Thu Aug 27, 2015 2:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 02, 2015 7:09 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2014 1:14 am
Posts: 323
Completed: Queen At Arms, Cerulean, The Shadows That Run Alongside Our Car, Vicarwissen
Projects: Caramel Mokaccino
Twitter: @petitscygnes
Tumblr: minesweeperaddict
Deviantart: koyoba
1) Yes! This seems like something I would play!
2) No! I think it's always a good idea to keep your scope small, and reigning in the amount of characters you have is an important part of that. If you keep the cast fewer, you can give each of them more screen time, and therefore more depth.
3) Definitely :) Your style is unique and the simplified characters/shapes give it an appropriately "storybook" feel.
4) As long as the story is engaging, I have no problem with kinetic novels.
5) Seems pretty straightforward! I'm looking forward to learning more about it.

Good luck with this! Doing all the CGs must be tough. I definitely wouldn't have the patience.

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Completed: Vicarwissen | The Shadows That Run Alongside Our Car | Queen At Arms | Cerulean


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 5:54 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 8:15 am
Posts: 13
Projects: Flow of Phantasmagoria
Deviantart: RunereiaNoRirii
^Well, I'm using a relatively simple style, but I do have the patience.

Aww, "storybook" feel. That was exactly my intention, glad it turned out this way. I originally wanted to make a printed picture book... Only quite recently I actually decided to develop a VN. That said, I have a hand-written scenario for the pictures, which needs some retouching at some points... Uhh, and then there are some technical things on the software version side - Even though I used Ren'Py before to make an unfinished fan game of sorts, I forgot most things from 2-4 years ago, so I had and still have to relearn the whole scripting. I don't need most of the advanced stuff, but rather some things that will make the experience smooth.

Thank you, I'll make sure not to disappoint.

~Lilli


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 6:22 am 
Regular
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Joined: Fri May 18, 2012 10:48 am
Posts: 81
Projects: Free!: Arabian Nights, DISCovery
This is an interesting idea.

1) For your first try it looks very unique and interesting =]
2) This one I'm not too sure, but I think it should be fine with the ones you have.
3) The artwork is very cute, it reminds me of children's picture books.
4)I actually prefer visual novels that have options and different endings, but I'm also willing to play KNs
5)The story sounds interesting =] Don't give too much away, I'm excited to see what happens to Lilli

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Free! Arabian Nights : https://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewtopic.php?t=32983
Discovery : https://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=38004

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 27, 2015 2:23 pm 
Newbie
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Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 8:15 am
Posts: 13
Projects: Flow of Phantasmagoria
Deviantart: RunereiaNoRirii
Post updated!
  • New logo (removed the old one)
  • New poster (removed the old poster)
  • Two new characters
  • One new preview screenshot (Again, removed the one before)
  • (Edit) Also one new page after the first seven I posted before.

Image

I redid the logo and even colored it myself. I have to admit I was a little afraid about coloring it, hehe.

So far I have 65 fully scanned, cropped and resized pages. I am still a little behind with the script, as I focus on the graphics mostly so far. But I will get there. Note that this VN won't be kinetic after all, and it won't be 100% CG either (I am working on a sprite for future Lilli)

There are two new characters, but I will list them in the next post update. You can see them on the poster, though... without names. I can't really say their names because I still haven't named them.

Oh, also added two new questions, but they aren't neccessary to answer to. Thanks for the feedback so far. But let me know if you want to see a demo soon.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 19, 2015 3:41 am 
Writing Maniac
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Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2003 8:51 am
Posts: 3277
Location: Germany
Completed: Metropolitan Blues, The Loyal Kinsman, Daemonophilia, The Dreaming, The Thirteenth Year, Adrift, Bionic Heart 2, Secrets of the Wolf, The Photographer
Projects: The Pilgrim's Path, Elspeth's Garden, Secret Adventure Game!
Organization: Tall Tales Productions
Twitter: @TallTalesVN
Locked by OP's request.

_________________
Scriptwriter and producer of Metropolitan Blues
Creator of The Loyal Kinsman

Scriptwriter and director of Daemonophilia
Scriptwriter and director of The Dreaming

Scriptwriter of Zenith Chronicles
Scriptwriter and director of The Thirteenth Year

Scriptwriter and director of Romance is Dead
Scriptwriter and producer of Adrift

More about me in my blog
"Adrift - Like Ever17, but without the Deus Ex Machina" - HigurashiKira



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