Shattered Eternity [Sci-Fi][Apocalyptic Future]

[PrivateEyes]

In the year 2025, the world lies in near ruins due to the International Wars of 2020. Natural resources are low, and most of the world’s population is in poverty. Despite that, technology has become even more advanced and the world, more industrialized. The ones who thrive in this world are the supporters of the mysterious and insane global dictator, D.H. the Endless. It is believed that he was the one who started the international nuclear war in order to seize control of the entire world. Those who are strong enough to rebel are always crushed by superior military power, while the majority of mankind struggle to cling onto life each day. …

Major Settings:
Modern Day 2012, Federation City, Western Hemisphere Alliance (combined North + South America)
Year 2025, Shattered Sky City,


Drake Hanson (Age: 17)- A normal high school student, at least at first glance. Due to an accident during his childhood, a long scar remains on his right arm. No matter how many stitches he gets, the wound never seems to heal. In addition to this, he also lost hearing in his left ear. Underneath his seemingly normal façade, he is an extremely intelligent individual who uses his talents for his own gains. He is constantly bored and would be willing to start things like international conspiracies to amuse himself. Little does he know that his very existence will determine the future of mankind…


Asek Sora (Age: 17)- Drake’s childhood friend and classmate. Like Drake, she always seems to be bored and uninterested in the world around her. She wears a black rose eye patch to cover her infected left eye, although traces of the infection have spread outside the eye patch. This was caused from the same accident she and Drake were involved in during their childhood. Despite being beautiful and one of the most popular girls in the school, she seems to have no interest in anyone other than Drake. However, she too wears a façade…


Now you might be wondering? WHERE DAFUQ RAWR IS THE ART?!?! Due to exams approaching and me failing at Chem in general, I just finished the story tonight.

So far:
Story: 100% done (some editing required, 16,543 words)
Art: 0%
Background: 0%
Sound & Music: 0%

You know me though. Once I get rolling, things happen to progress fairly quickly. Not looking for any specific feedback as of yet. Might want some constructive criticism or ideas in general about the menus and things like that. Otherwise, this is just to keep track of the progress of this project.


And remember to say hi to my artist and good friend (hopefully he considers me one as well XD) GJsoft

[gekiganwing]

I saw this topic a day or two ago, but at the time, I couldn't think of anything to say. So here's some overdue feedback. I have two concerns...

1) Why is Drake able to "determine the future of mankind"? Does he have any specific talents besides his intelligence? Is he related to an influential person or group? Was he selected by fate or higher powers?

In human history, there are a number of examples of teenagers whose actions have brought major political and social changes. And some of the stories I've liked over the years have portrayed a young person saving the world, even when adults were unable or unwilling to take action. Even so, make sure you have thought about what qualifies your main character to be a hero.

2) When I read the character description for Drake, I thought about Light Yagami and Lelouch, the main characters of Death Note and Code Geass. Even if your story is quite different from those two stories, if your main character has even a superficial resemblance, then your writing is going to be constantly compared to those two stories. Think about Drake's characterization and abilities. What might make him distinct?

Finally, it seems you've thought about near future worlds and fictional timelines. It seems that a lot of other people have had similar ideas.