System of Paradise [Mystery] [Romance] [Action]

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Incognito
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System of Paradise [Mystery] [Romance] [Action]

#1 Post by Incognito » Tue May 01, 2012 2:58 pm

I've been working on a visual novel with the Ren Py engine for quite some time now. Here's a preview of the character art.
A demo will be available this year, in the mean time I'll update this thread when new info is made available. Our teams name is Chimera btw.

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The concept of Lucifer was made to be evil, yet no one has ever had a chance to ask him whether he thinks himself as evil. System of Paradise is simply a re imagining of Lucifer's fall from Grace. Think Paradise Lost just with more of a twist. There are no choices in the game its just straight read, it is split between the perspective of the main characters Lucifer and Gabriel.

GOD

Info: God, the creator, it is said that this entity possesses limitless power. In the beginning God Created Heaven and Earth, Earth is a giant sphere of water while Heaven is a realm given form to house the first creations, Angels.

LUCIFER: Angel of Truth
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Info: Lucifer is known to be one of Gods most powerful and beautiful angelic creations. He is an Arch Angel, but is classified as a prince amongst all angels, giving him more authority than God’s most trusted Seraphim. He joins Michael’s army out of curiosity and becomes one of his disciples. Lucifer is the Angel of Truth; in the beginning his loyalty to God is solid, but as the story progresses you begin to see him question the creator’s status and power, deeming some of its actions irrational. With Truth there is trust, the more Lucifer investigates the creator’s lies, the more his feelings of betrayal grow. Lucifer with the aid his close friend Zabiel will stop at nothing until all questions are answered.

GABRIEL: Angel of Redemption
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Info: Gabriel is one of the three archangel leaders of the infiltration squad; they are in charge of investigating and excavating the unknown plains known as the Netherworld. He is under the direct command of Samael, and must report all findings to him. Gabriel is the Angel of Redemption; Gabriel has little understanding of what this could signify just yet. He does not question authority or the will of God, he’ll go as far as to explore the unknown, and enjoys any task he is assigned. He is usually accompanied by Uriel and Raphael on his ventures. Gabriel finds the Netherworld empty, and believes it will eventually become a place Angels can call a new home. Eager to discover new terrain Gabriel digs deeper; her squad knowing little of what may await them on the lower levels.

AZRAEL: Angel of Destruction
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Info: Azrael is one of Heaven’s most powerful and skilled soldiers. His main task is to be the first line of defense placed in Heaven’s Gate; he is also the captain also Laveel’s army. Azriel has an attraction to Gabriel, they usually meet each other near Eden or while he’s delivering messages. His problem is that Gabriel gives more attention to Lucifer, and so does everyone else. To Azrael, Lucifer is just a snobbish prince who shouldn’t even be wielding a Principality. Even though Azrael manages to best him in combat, Lucifer receives all the praise, leaving Azrael bitter. A rivalry is formed between them, and although it seems all in good sport at first, the emotions Azrael is harboring take deeper shape as the relationship grows. Even if he is seen as a champion and protector by the angels, he is not satisfied with this, he wants more… “What if Lucifer was gone?”

ZABIEL: Angel of Peace
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Info: Zabiel is a chief Power in Michael’s army. When Lucifer decides to join the military ranks, Michael entrust Lucifer in Zabiel’s care. It is not long before Lucifer and Zabiel become good friends, they share their interpretation of peace, to find that they are both quite similar “In TRUTH there is PEACE” This harmony allows them to see eye to eye, even in the irrational situations. Zabiel has the ability to sense intention and disruption, because of this he stays by Lucifer’s side even after he begins to deviate from the path of God. He is able to sense that Lucifer’s actions are of good nature, but at times deciding whether to let his friend continue with his actions puts him in difficult situations.

CAMAEL: Angel of War
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Info:Camael is a Chief power in Laveel’s unit. He manages the training routines among the other Powers, and makes sure that each of them is in top form. At first glance Camael can come off as cocky, loud and proud, but after spending time with him, you’ll soon realize that there is a strong backbone to his personality. While he is indeed mischievous Camael’s are good in nature, he’s just looking to have a little fun. Azrael is more serious and does not share his sense of humor, but they still get along really well. Camael also does well in keeping the squad in high spirits, and getting them riled up before battle. As ambitious as Camael is in his pursuit for growth, the lack of any real threat hinders his progress. Nevertheless Camael trains vigorously with Azrael hoping that one day all his efforts pay off.

RAPHAEL: Angel of Healing
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Info: Raphael is one of the three archangel leaders of the infiltration squad; they are in charge of investigating and excavating the unknown plains known as the Netherworld. Raphael is the angel of healing from the Phounebiel Dominion; he connects to those who are in pain, this pain ranging from emotional, mental and physical. Given the situation, Raphael can sooth your pain or completely heal you. Raphael is considered one of the friendliest Angels in Heaven, with a warm sense of humor.

URIEL: Angel of Liberation
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Info: Uriel is one of the three archangel leaders of the infiltration squad; they are in charge of investigating and excavating the unknown plains known as the Netherworld. Samael entrusted him with the key that opens pathway to the Netherworld. Uriel has a unique ability that only Angels assigned in Marmaroth posses, it allows him to have long distance communication with other Angels, making him a perfect candidate for scouting. Uriel can come off a bit mysterious at times; you never know what he’s thinking or who he can be talking to. He usually tags along with Gabriel and Raphael. While he does enjoy their company, he can never be found hanging with them in Eden. Uriel has an aloof presence to him, but at times he can turn a 180 and become serious.

MICHAEL: Angel of Righteousness
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Info: Michael is the Commander of Gods Army which protects 4th, 5th, and 6th Heaven. As commander, he guides his troops in the ways of discipline, and gives absolute orders. He concentrates on teaching defensive strategy. After Lucifer convinces Michael of his potential by taking on trials and proving himself, Michael allows Lucifer to join the ranks of his army. While he does see much promise in the prince of Angels, he feels there is something amiss with Lucifer. Nevertheless Michael trains Lucifer in the ways of combat; he also assigns him a partner in Zabiel. Michael is good friends with Commander Laveel and regards him with much respect as a comrade.

LAVEEL: Angel of Punishment
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Info: Laveel is the Commander of Gods Army which protects 3rd, 2nd, and 1st Heaven. As a commander he keeps his troops organized, trained, Making sure they are always prepared in case of any attack. He concentrates on teaching offensive strategy. Laveel is good friends with Michael and regards him with much respect, but he finds more of a rivalry in who can perfect their soldiers. Laveel is beginning to show signs of concern regarding the use of his soldiers. Without any threat from enemies to test their skills and strategies against, he feels continuing such rigorous training is pointless. He sees potential in Lucifer and at times suggests he leave Michael’s ranks to join his superior army. For now, his sense of competition with Michael, helps push his limits, but how long will this last?

SAMAEL
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Info:Samael is an Archangel type, and the Director of Dominion. He administers Dominions to each Angel and assigns their location. Samael has a slippery presence to him and seems to possess a quick wit. His motions are sometimes extravagant, as he spontaneously bursts into what looks like a disco dance pattern. He is said to be the wisest of all The Watchers.

OTHER

BELIAL:???

Info:???

Also here's my Deviant Art
http://dvd-1-one.deviantart.com/

-Demo-
Story: 100%
Script: WIP ?%
CG:60%
Music: Undecided 0%
Voices: Undecided 0%
Programming:WIP ?%

I'll answer any questions, also I'd like to know what you guys think of the art style for a VN.

Thank you.
Last edited by Incognito on Sun Jul 29, 2012 7:10 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: System of Paradise

#2 Post by Incognito » Wed May 02, 2012 3:31 pm

Here is some additional Promo art.

Image

In game screen shots will be made available in due time.

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Re: System of Paradise

#3 Post by gekiganwing » Wed May 02, 2012 11:41 pm

I don't usually have comments regarding drawings. But when I looked at Gabriel's legs, I thought "This character's legs seem really large. Is the individual wearing something very loose, or that lets a lot of air into the legs?"

One potential problem when writing non-human characters is trying to make their motivations easy to understand. If you can write these two angels so that a person can relate to them, then your story might be impressive.

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Re: System of Paradise

#4 Post by Incognito » Thu May 03, 2012 2:06 pm

gekiganwing wrote:I don't usually have comments regarding drawings. But when I looked at Gabriel's legs, I thought "This character's legs seem really large. Is the individual wearing something very loose, or that lets a lot of air into the legs?"

One potential problem when writing non-human characters is trying to make their motivations easy to understand. If you can write these two angels so that a person can relate to them, then your story might be impressive.
I've gotten that question several times, but You are correct sir, his pants are very loose.

Thanks for the reply, the story itself is complete,all that's left is to fill in the gaps.

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Re: System of Paradise

#5 Post by Incognito » Wed May 09, 2012 6:11 pm

Here is a full body shot of both main characters. Should clear up the pants issue.

Image

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Re: System of Paradise

#6 Post by Incognito » Tue May 29, 2012 8:30 pm

Azrael and Camael

Image

A minimized shot of one of the first backgrounds in the game.
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So what do you think of the overall style?

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Re: System of Paradise

#7 Post by Incognito » Thu Jul 26, 2012 12:21 pm

Two more characters for this Vn, we are making steady progress.

What do you guys think?

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Re: System of Paradise

#8 Post by Arelune » Thu Jul 26, 2012 5:12 pm

I kind of like the art style. There's just two things bothering me. The knees of Lucifer and Azrael are really thin. They seem like they would snap any minute. This could be an art style choose though.
The second are the pants of Gabrael and Camael. You say they're loose pants, but shouldn't there be folds then? If they aren't made of cloth but metal, they would seem far too heavy to lift, let alone walk or run.
They really seem wide. I've never seen such wide pants. ^^'

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Re: System of Paradise

#9 Post by Incognito » Thu Jul 26, 2012 6:07 pm

Arelune wrote:I kind of like the art style. There's just two things bothering me. The knees of Lucifer and Azrael are really thin. They seem like they would snap any minute. This could be an art style choose though.
The second are the pants of Gabrael and Camael. You say they're loose pants, but shouldn't there be folds then? If they aren't made of cloth but metal, they would seem far too heavy to lift, let alone walk or run.
They really seem wide. I've never seen such wide pants. ^^'
That's a good point.

The thin knees are just stylized to make the rest of the leg seem large, but i see what you mean.

About Gabriel's pants, think an aired up version of Mc hammer's pants. You're right the account that there should be more folds.

Do you have any questions about the story or the rest of the characters, its still in development and some input would be appreciated.

Thanks for the comment.

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Re: System of Paradise

#10 Post by Arowana » Thu Jul 26, 2012 10:56 pm

Cool art! I like the variety of facial types and hairstyles - all the characters seem pretty distinct to me even though they are wearing similar uniforms. They're all guys, right? I thought Gabriel and maybe Raphael were girls at first - perhaps it's the hair and, in Gabriel's case, the big eyes. ;)

I think the general premise sounds interesting - is it like "Paradise Lost" in a sci-fi setting? Do you have any more info on the plot and the personalities of the characters?
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Re: System of Paradise

#11 Post by Incognito » Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:02 am

Arowana wrote:Cool art! I like the variety of facial types and hairstyles - all the characters seem pretty distinct to me even though they are wearing similar uniforms. They're all guys, right? I thought Gabriel and maybe Raphael were girls at first - perhaps it's the hair and, in Gabriel's case, the big eyes. ;)

I think the general premise sounds interesting - is it like "Paradise Lost" in a sci-fi setting? Do you have any more info on the plot and the personalities of the characters?
I just made a big update to the top section, It contains info on all the characters I've shown so far and some additions. Yep its definitely something like Paradise Lost, semi Sci-fi, there will be vehicles and weapons. So far I've only shown the male characters but there will be Female characters added later on.

Your VN looks interesting btw, could you link me to its thread.

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Re: System of Paradise

#12 Post by Arelune » Fri Jul 27, 2012 10:51 am

Incognito wrote:About Gabriel's pants, think an aired up version of Mc hammer's pants. You're right the account that there should be more folds.
I guess I should have known such a thing would exist, lol.
Incognito wrote:Do you have any questions about the story or the rest of the characters, its still in development and some input would be appreciated.
Not really. It definitely seems interesting now that you've put more info here. It also seems a very ambitious project.
Love Samael description btw. :P

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Re: System of Paradise

#13 Post by Incognito » Fri Jul 27, 2012 11:25 am

Arelune wrote:
Incognito wrote:About Gabriel's pants, think an aired up version of Mc hammer's pants. You're right the account that there should be more folds.
I guess I should have known such a thing would exist, lol.
Incognito wrote:Do you have any questions about the story or the rest of the characters, its still in development and some input would be appreciated.
Not really. It definitely seems interesting now that you've put more info here. It also seems a very ambitious project.
Love Samael description btw. :P
It will be a long story, I'm thinking about releasing it in chapters.

Thanks for commenting

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Re: System of Paradise

#14 Post by Arowana » Sun Jul 29, 2012 1:38 pm

I just made a big update to the top section, It contains info on all the characters I've shown so far and some additions. Yep its definitely something like Paradise Lost, semi Sci-fi, there will be vehicles and weapons. So far I've only shown the male characters but there will be Female characters added later on.

Your VN looks interesting btw, could you link me to its thread.
Great, the update is really helpful! I think all the characters' designs match their personality descriptions very well. Samael's shades are pretty awesome - he does seem like the type who would be above the dress code. :lol:

You have such an impressively large cast that I wonder if it will be hard for people to keep track of all the characters. Is there going to be one group of people associated with Lucifer and one with Gabriel, and their storylines will run parallel to each other? I think your idea of releasing the series in chapters might be good for this. I don't play many episodic VNs, to be honest, but I think that format could work really well for you. Then you could focus different "episodes" on different groups of people, so that players don't have to keep track of all the characters at once. Hmm, maybe character profiles within the game could also be helpful?

Haha, I literally just made a thread for my VN yesterday. If you want to check it out, I've linked it in my signature. :)
Complete: a2 ~a due~ (music, language, love)
In progress: The Pirate Mermaid (fairytale otome)
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Re: System of Paradise

#15 Post by Incognito » Sun Jul 29, 2012 5:26 pm

Arowana wrote:
I just made a big update to the top section, It contains info on all the characters I've shown so far and some additions. Yep its definitely something like Paradise Lost, semi Sci-fi, there will be vehicles and weapons. So far I've only shown the male characters but there will be Female characters added later on.

Your VN looks interesting btw, could you link me to its thread.
Great, the update is really helpful! I think all the characters' designs match their personality descriptions very well. Samael's shades are pretty awesome - he does seem like the type who would be above the dress code. :lol:

You have such an impressively large cast that I wonder if it will be hard for people to keep track of all the characters. Is there going to be one group of people associated with Lucifer and one with Gabriel, and their storylines will run parallel to each other? I think your idea of releasing the series in chapters might be good for this. I don't play many episodic VNs, to be honest, but I think that format could work really well for you. Then you could focus different "episodes" on different groups of people, so that players don't have to keep track of all the characters at once. Hmm, maybe character profiles within the game could also be helpful?

Haha, I literally just made a thread for my VN yesterday. If you want to check it out, I've linked it in my signature. :)
This VN will split between Lucifer and Gabriel but their stories will come together as you reach the end. There will be plenty of descriptions given for the land and characters while you play, hopefully keeping track wont be a problem. Once again thanks for your input.

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