Amy's Super Life! [GxB][School life][Supernatural][Tragedy]

[briannavon]

Ren’py Game : Amy’s Super Life!




Story : You play Amy as she goes through highschool. Deal with a mean older brother, bullies, boys, and life choices!

Characters:


Main character: Amy Olivia

Age: 16


The main character. She is a nerdy girl. She has a tendency to say random math/science questions and answer them out loud, making her an outcast and a bullies’ dream come true. She only has one friend, fellow outcast Loren.

Quote: “3x3x3 is 27! That’s so easy!”




Family

Adela Olivia

Age : 35


Amy’s mom. She cares about her daughter, but is too shy to protect her from bullies and .
She stutters alot and has a sad disposition. She thinks she is a bad mother.

Quote :” I-I’m s-s-sorry you got pick o-on today.”




Family

Name: Evan Olivia

Age :18

Amy’s brother. He is very rude and makes fun of his sister’s weird ways. He acts perverted to Amy’s one friend, Loren, who thinks he’s a creep.

Looks: Black hair that’s short, brown eyes, hoodie, baggie pants.

Quote : “Hey Loren, wanna go somewhere..”





Family

Name: Ethan Olivia

Age: 42

Amy’s father. He is very lazy to the point he does not help his daughter with her problems like bullies, although he does truly care for her.

Looks : Black short hair, green eyes, over-weight, wears a nightgown around the house.

Quote : “I know I should do something but....Not now. I’ll do it later....Someday.”



Friend

Name : Loren Montague

Age: 15

She is Amy’s best/ only friend. She loves anime and school work, making her an outcast just like Amy. She hates Amy’s brother for being mean to Amy and being perverted towards her.

Looks: (artist gets to choose)

Quote: “Get away from me, pervert!”




Bully

Name : Varina Earlene

Age: 17

A bully to Amy. He/she picks on Amy for various reasons. He/she acts like he/she is happy but in truth is very sad deep down.

Looks: (artist choose)

Quote: “ You’ve so weird! Does your mother know how crazy you are!?”



"Boys:
Justin Constant (1 year older than Amy): A cold and rude boy. He had a happy time once, but it was a really short time. He likes peaceful sceneries, and it’s related to his past. His favorite place is a lake near the school, but only Amy knows that. He usually meets Amy to make sure she won’t tell that secret to anyone. That makes Amy wondering, what’s so important about that lake???

Josh Cade (the same age as Amy): A hot boy in the school, he’s arrogant and not a very good student (he usually has to go to the detention). He likes Varina, the girl who always bullies Amy, and he admits it with anybody except Varina. Amy doesn’t understand why, and she asked Josh. But he only says Amy doesn’t know anything about Varina. Amy doesn’t believe that, but she also wonders, what doesn’t she know about the girl who always bullies her? And what made Josh think he knows something that Amy doesn’t know?

-----Sketch



Ryan William (the same age as Amy): A mysterious boy.

Jade Braylon (the same age as Amy): A shy, nice boy and a good student. He has a crush on Loren, Amy’s friend. Amy discovers that when she sees Jade putting a gift in Loren’s desk on her birthday. Since then, Amy becomes Jade’s friend and she always tries to match making Jade and Loren. Will things go well like she planned?

----Lineart






Demo Download:
second Demo (for mac) -----http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?ob6m3cd729abo49
second Demo (for window-its a rar file)-----http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?lixrb08k1f0js4n
second demo (for linux) -------- http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?bec83wqzbigff3w
Note: This game is free and it’s for teen.

Writing - 33% complete
Programming - 30% complete
Character Designs - 100% complete
Sprites - 65% complete
CG - 0% complete
Backgrounds - 30% complete
Music + OP - 0% complete
Others - 90% complete.
Credit:
Writer: briannavon, miaverana.
Sprite and CG artists: miaverana.
Background Artists: Bassnovel
Composer: none.
Programmers: briannavon.

We hope you’ll like the game."

[borisoda]

Hey is this your first renpy game? good luck on your project!
I like the idea and the art is cute

[briannavon]

Hey is this your first renpy game? good luck on your project!
I like the idea and the art is cute

Well yeah it is (but I use to make games using bass novel).The art is from miaverana, the character artist.

[Crocosquirrel]

I'll be interested to see where this goes, when there's something to show.

[miaverana]

Hey is this your first renpy game? good luck on your project!
I like the idea and the art is cute

Thanks for the compliment about the art

Update Amy's sprite:

Loren's sprite:

Justin's sketch:

Ryan's sketch:

[Michiyo6918]

So... I gave your game a try and found there were a lot of mistake that you could correct to make the game better.

First, I don't think the description need to be label 'Narrator' because that would make the players confuse between the description and character's line.

Second. I took a look at your script and found you mostly used the command 'show' to show a BG. I suggest you should use 'scene', that way you don't have to hide the BG before showing another one.

Third. I found a bug. At the end, the demo repeat the school's event, where Amy got bullied by Varina and ended up meeting Justin. Once again I took a look at the script and saw you use 'call' label instead of 'jump'. I suggest you should use 'jump' to jump to a label in the same .rpy file.

There is 2 ways to solve this problem:
1. Call -> Jump
Change the command:

Code: Select all

    call after_school

to

Code: Select all

    jump after_school

2. Create another .rpy file, cut and paste the label after_school to that new file.

Either way will solve this problem.

You might want to check out this tutorial.

Fourth: The biggest enemy of every writer: Typo. I spotted a lot of typo in the game. This can be resolve with having a beta-reader goes through your script before you release it. (But seriously, typo to me is not that much of a turn off. I can't even guarantee about my post's grammar and vocabulary...)

And also, I think you should add more description to the scene because some of the time when I read the character's dialog, I didn't even know what was happening until later...

Overall: There's nothing much in the demo yet so I don't have a lot of thing to say. Waiting for your next update. Hope you don't get offend because I'm trying to change the way you write a script... just want to suggest a little shortcut in coding to you

Btw, I like the art, the style is cute.
The only thing that I don't like is... the characters' size don't match each other... (Mommy is too big and Varina is too small)
And also the BG made me kind of dizzy (maybe it's just me... the blurriness...)

You're doing great so far. Hope you have fun making your visual novel

Sorry if my words are hard for you to understand As you can see, English is not something I take a pride in...

[briannavon]

So... I gave your game a try and found there were a lot of mistake that you could correct to make the game better.

First, I don't think the description need to be label 'Narrator' because that would make the players confuse between the description and character's line.

Second. I took a look at your script and found you mostly used the command 'show' to show a BG. I suggest you should use 'scene', that way you don't have to hide the BG before showing another one.

Third. I found a bug. At the end, the demo repeat the school's event, where Amy got bullied by Varina and ended up meeting Justin. Once again I took a look at the script and saw you use 'call' label instead of 'jump'. I suggest you should use 'jump' to jump to a label in the same .rpy file.

There is 2 ways to solve this problem:
1. Call -> Jump
Change the command:

Code: Select all

    call after_school

to

Code: Select all

    jump after_school

2. Create another .rpy file, cut and paste the label after_school to that new file.

Either way will solve this problem.

You might want to check out this tutorial.

Fourth: The biggest enemy of every writer: Typo. I spotted a lot of typo in the game. This can be resolve with having a beta-reader goes through your script before you release it. (But seriously, typo to me is not that much of a turn off. I can't even guarantee about my post's grammar and vocabulary...)

And also, I think you should add more description to the scene because some of the time when I read the character's dialog, I didn't even know what was happening until later...

Overall: There's nothing much in the demo yet so I don't have a lot of thing to say. Waiting for your next update. Hope you don't get offend because I'm trying to change the way you write a script... just want to suggest a little shortcut in coding to you

Btw, I like the art, the style is cute.
The only thing that I don't like is... the characters' size don't match each other... (Mommy is too big and Varina is too small)
And also the BG made me kind of dizzy (maybe it's just me... the blurriness...)

You're doing great so far. Hope you have fun making your visual novel

Sorry if my words are hard for you to understand As you can see, English is not something I take a pride in...

It's ok. I'm working on the typos and sizes tommorow. And that code stuff will really help me make a better game!

[briannavon]

Is the mom too small?

[LightSide]

Pretty cute. I love the MC's design. You don't see too many gingers with glasses in otome games. She's just so adorable.

One thing I've noticed is that you tend to shade your sprite's with the color black. It's most obvious under the character's necks and most prevelant on the blonde female sprite. Considering you don't do any other shading other than the black shadow, it looks uneven. I tend to think you should avoid the color black for shading and use actual colors instead. I think it's easiest to start out with a darker shade of the base color to shadow when you're starting out.

Don't let this discourage you! I'm downloading your demo right now and I'll give you some thoughts! It does look very cute.

[Egressus]

I'd find Amy more nerdy if she says "3 on the power of 3 is 27" but I'm not going to go on a rampage for something as stupid as that. (But take it from a nerd :p)
In fact, it'll be more awesome if she actually says something more complicated. Something like the first 10 digits of pi.
Just saying.

Anyway, on to the game.

...Arright, I gotta say this-- it's a bit hard to read. It's probably just me and my grammar-naziness talking, though, so don't worry too much. I'd suggest you to get a beta-reader, which is probably plenty round the Recruitment forum.

Oh, and is there a reason why we're being haunted by a JustinLove = 0? :p
I'm guessing it's the love interest but why only him? (Since you said boys...)
And the second and third day-- I was a bit confused with the identical conversations and almost spazzed out at the thought of everything looping forever (I'm rather paranoid).

I can't say much, with the demo covering only three days, but I'll check again when you release the second demo. I hope I don't offend you too much xAx
Good luck!

[briannavon]

Don't worry, I'm working on a lot of that. (Also, I'm a nerd so I'll try to get her to say more complicated stuff)

[briannavon]

Tuna_sushi beta-tested the game and helped me with stuff like character sizes!

[LightSide]

The sizes look much better now. There's less wasted space.

[redeyesblackpanda]

Don't worry, I'm working on a lot of that. (Also, I'm a nerd so I'll try to get her to say more complicated stuff)

One nerd to another, she's 16, so if she's not doing integrals or calculating logarithms, she's not a nerd.
If you want some awesome nerdy math stuff, I'd recommend checking this out: http://www.calcchat.com/book/Calculus-9e/
It's the worked out solutions for the textbook I took Calc 2 from back when I was a 16 year old math nerd. Just flip around the chapters and find something nice.
(Later chapters are much more awesome than earlier ones too. )

[briannavon]

Don't worry, I'm working on a lot of that. (Also, I'm a nerd so I'll try to get her to say more complicated stuff)

One nerd to another, she's 16, so if she's not doing integrals or calculating logarithms, she's not a nerd.
If you want some awesome nerdy math stuff, I'd recommend checking this out: http://www.calcchat.com/book/Calculus-9e/
It's the worked out solutions for the textbook I took Calc 2 from back when I was a 16 year old math nerd. Just flip around the chapters and find something nice.
(Later chapters are much more awesome than earlier ones too. )

Sorry for making her seem unnerdy. It's just I'm 15 and go to schools where they teach me stuff I learned 3 years ago, so just saying stuff like 3x3x3 equals 27 makes people think the person who said it must be very smart.