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Re: The Silent Column [thriller, drama, mystery, spiritual]

Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 5:03 am
by SelLi
I'm thinking about changing the name of the project. Something (else) significant but not spoilery -or to something (else) subtly spoilery, but that sounds more interesting.
Or maybe "The Silent Column" will work fine. We'll see. Just posting my thoughts. I'll update at a later date about this.

Re: The Silent Column [thriller, drama, mystery, spiritual]

Posted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 8:35 am
by SelLi
Added a few more characters to the story. Also, some of the other characters listed in the first post are out of date by now. Some might not even be in the story anymore. I'll update it later.
Here are some characters I'm adding:

Amy's Father- name (pending) age (looks dad aged...?) sex (it's their father, silly)
A doctor who is very spiritual and creates his own medicine. He is kind to his daughter, Amy, and loves her. However, he is very afraid of something and many of his actions aren't good. The people of the city don't trust him.

Kichi- age (looks around 13) sex (Female)
A girl who used to be very close friends with Thidria, but who has distanced herself from her for some reason. She can be very firm when someone tells her to or tries to get her to do something that she feels to be wrong. She is antisocial, but has a big heart, and often morns for her dead loved ones.

Scaithridi- age (fully grown?) sex (Female)
A beautiful woman who has a pink gem over her heart who is very kind and gentle to those around her. She loves someone very much, and has searched for them for a long time.

??- name (pending) age (Looks around 17) sex (Male)
A former student who wasn't too popular or unpopular in school, who was very good at making people feel comfortable and at ease, and probably still fairly social after The End. Tashen doesn't know much about him.

A Raitid- name (??) age (??) sex (??)
A Raitid is an animal that resembles a large cat and dog with a bulkier, more muscular build. Like most larger animals, it is extremely dangerous physically and mentally.

Re: The Silent Column [thriller, drama, mystery, spiritual]

Posted: Mon Dec 02, 2013 9:26 pm
by SelLi
Updated the first post.

Re: The Silent Column [thriller, drama, mystery, spiritual]

Posted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 10:52 pm
by SelLi
Hey guys, I don't know if I've done this before but I want to ask you a question:
Tashen is Kina's brother. I originally had it that they lived with their mother, but just very recently I re-did it that they lived with their father instead. I felt like, I already have a lot of strong female characters, so I should put in another strong male character to balance things out a bit. This isn't supposed to be some typical dime-a-dozen harem thing, and I don't want it to come across that way, though it does have harem qualities, I admit that- Tashen gets quite close with several girls, but there's no sex in this game/whathaveyou, and mostly he just becomes a very good friend with all/most of them.
Here's my question though: Should Tashen/Kina's parent be a mother, or a father, or should they have a mom and a dad? (vat-a-twizt) \:o

Also, I was thinking that Tashen's potential long-term love interests are either Nithi, Josefine, or Pril. What do you think about this? I personally like that even though there are more girls, you can't just "pick whatever girl". Some are under-aged, some are too damaged for a relationship right now, some already have someone special, and some just want to stay good friends with you, as is LIFE.

A lot of the time I think that I'm just talking to myself in this thread, but jeez, the pictures I have on the first page each have over 3000 hits each, so I'm clearly not. I'd just like to get some feedback from yall. :) See you on the next update.

Re: The Silent Column [thriller, drama, mystery, spiritual]

Posted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 11:10 pm
by Reikun
Hey! It's been a while since I've posted here hehe *u*
SelLi wrote:I'm thinking about changing the name of the project. Something (else) significant but not spoilery -or to something (else) subtly spoilery, but that sounds more interesting.
Or maybe "The Silent Column" will work fine. We'll see. Just posting my thoughts. I'll update at a later date about this.
I actually really like the way "The Silent Column" sounds but if a name change would reflect more accurately on the story or is better suited in your eyes it shouldn't be a problem.

Ahhhh the new characters sound pretty interesting!! I'm almost tempted to ask for another writing snippet but noooo I won't OTL xD
As far as whether or not Tashen and Kina live with their mother or father, think of it like this: how much will the story change if it was a father instead of a mother? Would the changes be significant, or would you only need to edit flavor text? I personally don't think gender matters much in terms of stories/plot unless the issues involved are unique to one sex (i.e. childbirth, growing a beard, menstruation, wet dreams, etc). A balance of female and male characters is always nice though! (and glad to see you updating as usual :) Even if I don't post all the time I always read your updates!)

Re: The Silent Column [thriller, drama, mystery, spiritual]

Posted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 8:00 pm
by SelLi
Hi again Reikun ^_^ nice to see you again. Thanks for staying interested after over a year of patiently waiting :)
I think you and others deserve another snippet after all this time too, I'll post a new comment with a snippet for my next update. :)

I agree with you: to me, in good stories, the sexes of characters usually don't matter. In fact, the character "Life" used to be a girl. And I don't know if I posted this ever, but I used to have a character simply called "The man with wings", and he isn't around anymore. I kind of merged him with the old Life to create the new character of Life.
I think I tend to relate more with girls than with boys even though I'm male, so I think that's why I tend to write so many female characters, however, yeah it would be nice to see another strong male character in the story. I'm still undecided toward weather it should be a mom or a dad- instinctively I kind of want it to be a mom but it would be very interesting for it to be a dad.

As for the title, I think I will end up sticking with The Silent Column. Whenever I think of other names it just doesn't seem... quite right. Other names almost feel like... "trendy", and I typically don't like "trendy". Also, the title of The Silent Column does have something significant to do with the story, as I've said, but it comes across as rather subtle and not in your face about it, and I like that.

Re: The Silent Column [thriller, drama, mystery, spiritual]

Posted: Sun Dec 08, 2013 12:05 am
by SelLi
Merry early Christmas everyone. It's hard to find a snippet that's refined and doesn't give spoilers, but here you go. :)

Code: Select all

#####
# a = Narrator
# T = Thidria
# t = Tashen
# j = Josefine
# k = Kina
# s = Serra
#####

a"\"I'd like to meet your family, but...\" The girl said,"
T"I don't want to be seen by anyone else."
a"Thidria looks to me swiftly, in realization."
T"You live with your sister, a little boy, and a friend, right?"
T"Can you tell me their names?"
t"..."
t"That's right. It's okay, Thidria- you have to know don't you?"
t"My sister's Kina, the boy is Keith, and Josefine is my friend."
T"I see..."
a"\"Also,\" I added,"
t"a small girl visits us at times."
T"A small girl?"
t"Her name is Serra."
T"..."
a"Silently, the white haired girl thinks, searching every corner of her mind for anyone named \"Serra\"."
a"She smiles slowly... and I watch as she feels at ease."
T"Okay, I think I'd like to meet her too."
a"---"
a"\"Welcome home, Tashen.\" Josefine greeted as I came through the door."
t"Hello, Josie."
a"She beams at my hello, and at the sight of a girl standing slightly obscured behind me."
j"Oh, and you have a friend with you."
t"Mhm."
a"I step aside and let them meet properly."
j"Hello."
a"Thidria bows her head a little before looking back to her."
T"Hello. It's nice to meet you."
a"Josefine nods, and becomes quiet and calmly happy, as is her way."
j"Would you like something to eat?"
a"Thidria seems confused by this. She eventually smiles and says,"
T"Thank you... but I'm not hungry."
j"Oh..."
a"\"Um,\" Thidira starts, awkwardly,"
T"What's your name?"
a"Josefine blushes, thinking how rude it was for her not to have introduced herself right away. Thinking about this, I can't help but feel warm inside."
j"My name is Josefine, but, you can call me Josie if you'd like."
a"Thidria looks happy at this."
T"My name's Thidria."
a"I told Josie about Thidria so she knew that already, but she nods regardless."
T"..."
j"What a nice name."
a"Thidria doesn't know what to make of this compliment."
T"Thanks, you too."
a"---"
a"Before long, Serra arrives, and Keith comes running happily to greet her. He was pretty shocked to see a new girl there, too, and so was Serra."
a"Josefine and I watched them talk excitedly from a distance... It was nice to see all these kids getting along and playing together."
a"Serra and Thidria can be so serious in their own ways, but Keith is always so happy."
a"I think... being around him reminds the others that they're both still children."
a"Thidria seems to feel awkward around him, and Serra shows that as well, but after a while, Serra and him connect."
a"... Does Thidria not like being treated like a kid?"
a"Whenever I talk with her, I always talk to her like she's someone much older."
t"..."
a"Keith talks to them about some of the times he's had and tells the girls jokes. Serra giggles happily."
a"Very gradually, I see Thidria warm up and hear her starting to laugh along with the others."
a"I sigh."
a"I'm so glad they can still laugh."
a"Kina quietly comes out of her room and joins us."
a"I... guess she isn't completely better."
a"She was probably sleeping or trying to calm down from a headache... though, now she seems just like herself."
a"She smiles at the kids before smirking at Josefine."
k"Do kids just spawn around you, Josie?"
a"Josefine tries not to giggle, shaking her head with a smile as her cheeks turn red."
a"Kina grins, and after a while, she speaks to me."
k"Who is she?"
t"Her name's Thidria. I found her- or, rather, she found me- near the beach one day."
t"She stopped me and took me to her place where she gave me some clean water."
k"Oh, so that's her?"
t"Mhm."
k"..."
a"She looks at her for a while... just watching."
k"From the way you talked about her I thought she'd be our age, but I guess she's just a little thing, huh?"
t"Yup."
k"..."
a"I hear her mumble something under her breath, softly... and I strain to hear her subtle words over the chatter and laughs of the kids."
k"... I guess kids die if they don't grow up in times like this..."
a"My heart sinks."
t"..."
a"Kina keeps her eyes fixed on the white haired girl... Then, Serra notices her."
s"Kina!"
a"Serra's maroon dress sways around her legs as she runs to us, and as she does, Kina says something quietly to me."
k"They both came to see you, you wallflower."
a"Serra clings to Kina tightly, her head just going past her waist."
a"Kina smiles and puts her hand on the small child's golden head..."
k"Hey there. \"Serra\", right?"
a"That's right... they're meeting now for the first time."
a"The blond girl squeezes her affectionately."
a"... She keeps on squeezing, for what seems like a long... long time. Holding her so close like a teddy bear that she thought she'd lost."
k"W-what is it?"
s"..."
k"..."
a"Kina's heart warms up slowly, and her plastic smile fades as Serra holds her like that. Eventually, she kneels down and puts her arms around her in return..."
s"You really did get better..."
a"Their arms unlock, and Kina looks at the girl with a strange face... one that looks like an angel just touched her heart."
a"Serra shares the same expression."
a"... Then, Kina nods, and gives the kid a smile."
k"Of course I got better. You think getting a little sick would be the end of me, girly?"
a"She rustles her hair, and Serra grins as she shuts her eyes."
a"Little tears come for a moment... and when it's over, she brushes them off hastily with her sleeve."
a"Serra steps back before turning to me, still beaming. She doesn't know what to say, but she doesn't have to say anything."
a"This isn't a time to talk about much of anything at all, it's just time to be together."
a"... Everything goes quiet..."
a"Everything..."
a"---"
T"I like Serra."
t"That's good."
T"She seems like a really nice person..."
t"Yeah..."
T"..."
a"We walk for a little longer in silence... just me and her as we walk back to her home in the golden sunlight."
a"The soft crunching of the gravel under our feet fills the air, and the light shines off of this girl's head."
a"Softly, we walk onward."
a"Softly, she says nothing."
a"I want to ask her what's on her mind. But right now... she's thinking."
a"She's always thinking... and I've learned over time that if she wants to tell me something, it will be important, and it will be on her terms."
a"It'll be a question that she's ready to ask, or something else that she's ready to tell me."
a"I think I'm starting to understand."
a"This is... the kind of world that surrounds me."
a"I understand..."
a"Slowly, I walk her home, without any words but our goodbyes and sweet dreams."
a"---"

Re: The Silent Column [thriller, drama, mystery, spiritual]

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:58 am
by Reikun
Hi SelLi! Hope you're doing well and progress is steady! Thanks again for the extra snippet :D And belated holiday wishes to you!

I've enjoyed what I read in this new snippet. It's like a nice feeler where we start to see how characters interact. I'm interested in seeing this scene with visuals in the future as it was a little bit hard to follow (visual novel scripts don't often describe physical characteristics after all). Also, just a small nitpick with your code. If the narrator doesn't have a name (i.e. there is no name and "Narrator" is not displayed during the narration lines) you don't really need to preface those lines with the "a" unless you're using the character definition for "a" to have a different font etc. Just a small comment that's quite inconsequential as far as coding goes. I also really like how you've structured parts of the narration to include direct dialogue like in a typical novel or short story. The final work should prove to be an interesting read :)

Re: The Silent Column [thriller, drama, mystery, spiritual]

Posted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 5:22 am
by SelLi
@Reikun:
Aw, thank you very much. :) I'm glad that you've enjoyed the snippet. I have been working on it though less frequently. It's interesting because as time goes on, I grow, and as I grow the story grows and I can write better characters and story lines ect. So even when I'm not "writing" I'm "gathering material" you know? I will get this done eventually, though it will take a very long time, still.
I'm glad that you like watching my progress and are not giving up :) Thanks.
I'll start posting regular updates again and writing more frequently I hope. I hope to see you guys soon, in the next update. ^_^

As for the narrator "a" thing, it's just how I've learned how to code.
t refers to Tashen
T refers to Thidria
a refers to " "
That's all. But thanks for your input. :)
-Also later I may make a different narrator, like
aa refers to " " with the text being a different color from the normal narrator.
Like the "a" narrator is Tashen's mind, and the "aa" narrator would be a different character maybe.

Re: The Silent Column [thriller, drama, mystery, spiritual]

Posted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 4:02 am
by SelLi
Christiana's Sister's name is Amelia, which is a name that her grandmother new and was fond of ever since she was young.

Re: The Silent Column [thriller, drama, mystery, spiritual]

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2014 12:36 am
by SelLi
I have a deviant art. I thought I'd bring it up because I just posted a background on it recently which could be used in this game :) I like how it turned out.
Link to the picture~ there's a day and night version of it.
http://sellillianna.deviantart.com/art/Park-431519563

Re: The Silent Column [thriller, drama, mystery, spiritual]

Posted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 5:07 am
by SelLi
Hello everyone,
I'm still working on the story. I've been mostly brain storming and writing down lists of elements and individual things that I'd like in the story, such as various overarching themes, smaller themes/connections between characters/elements, various plot points, things that I want to convey, and scenes that I want to have. That sort of thing.

As I'm living my life and growing in different ways I really do feel like I'm becoming a better writer, and as I grow I look at the story I'm writing and see that it can be done better and better.
For instance, a lot of the story I have written so far is very slow paced. It's good to have some stuff that is slow paced and it makes sense to have scenes like that, especially in the setting I have here, but even with my setting there should be interesting things going on, like how characters bounce off of each other and- even if they aren't hiding something or scheming something- there will be some conflicts and interesting dynamics between them simply because they're different people. Heck, there are entire shows and stuff out there where character dynamics make up like... the whole thing.
Also, I was thinking about switching my point of view from first person to third person, where I would follow whatever character I wanted around and describe what they're doing and a lot of the time describe what they're thinking about and such, being able to get inside their heads if I wanted to, but not being stuck there.
I don't know, I just thought I'd share this all in an update.
See ya :)

Re: The Silent Column [thriller, drama, mystery, spiritual]

Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 3:55 pm
by SelLi
:) Tell me what you think.

Re: The Silent Column [thriller, drama, mystery, spiritual]

Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 4:01 pm
by SelLi
To compare, these are the old ones.

Re: The Silent Column [thriller, drama, mystery, spiritual]

Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 6:45 pm
by SelLi
Yesterday was my uncle's birthday. I talked with him about my story and about how I have a LOT of it all in my head, and have been brain storming a LOT about it through text and writing, but have trouble making anything... "concrete". I keep growing and stuff and the story keeps growing with me but I need to cut it off at some point so that it can actually be a dang story and not sit in my head for years (more) at a time. So we decided that I should have the outline for the plot and the personalities and such of all the characters by the 29th of March. (Next Saturday.) at first I was like :O but I can do it- I have a lot in my head after all. Just need to actually decide on some stuff.
After our talk (And the rest of his birthday party) inspiration hit me and I wrote a bunch of plot points down. I thought I'd let you know because I know I've been taking quite a while with this.
I'm happy to be writing productively again. :)

I'll let you know what happens around the 30th.