Crimson Rafflesia [Psych|Thriller|GxB/BxG] Demo - 26 Sep

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Coren
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Re: Crimson Rafflesia [Psych|Thriller|GxB/BxG] FULL DEMO 1.0

#256 Post by Coren » Tue Jul 09, 2013 7:06 am

LliiraAnna wrote: Now to the demo itself. The premise is definitely interesting, but I felt like the beginning was a bit... anti-climatic. I mean the very first scene; from what I remember, it's written from a first-person point of view, and these are not memories but the descriptions of what is happening at the moment; given the narrator's emotional state at the moment, they are surprisingly... calm. Probably less descriptions and more character's thoughts? Or change it to the third-person pov? Speaking of descriptions, I've ended up almost skipping many of them because they were in a middle of what was supposed to be an emotionally tense/plot-important scene, and it can sometimes, well, ruin the mood. Also, I've got the impression that some dialogue was too long/unnecessary for the plot and hence can be shortened, but since it's only demo, it's kinda hard to tell.

This said, I'm interested in what will happen next, so good luck with working on the full version ^_^
Hmm, thanks for the comments, but they're a little confusing. What do you mean the beginning is anti-climatic? I understand that they're a series of short scenes which are only supposed to make sense in hindsight, but at no point do I think they're anticlimatic because there wasn't supposed to be a climax to begin with. Unless you meant to say some other word?

There was no first-person narration other than the first two super-short scenes. And I'm a bit confused by what you meant by they were "calm" - because if a little child screaming at the top of her lungs in the midst of a fire-strewn hell is calm to you, I have no idea what isn't. ^^;

Apart from the first two mini-scenes, which are really short and have absolutely no description whatsoever, everything else is in third person, so I really don't quite understand what you're talking about. Mind explaining? /:
LliiraAnna wrote: I should learn to keep my smartass comments to myself as well
What you posted aren't smartass comments, relax. :)


@Phyro: Sadly, there's nothing I can do about the music. I'm not capable of creating so many good tracks on my own, and since this is a free project I have to stick with royalty-free music. Which do not tend to loop very well.

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Re: Crimson Rafflesia [Psych|Thriller|GxB/BxG] FULL DEMO 1.0

#257 Post by LliiraAnna » Tue Jul 09, 2013 5:08 pm

Kirroha wrote:
LliiraAnna wrote: Now to the demo itself. The premise is definitely interesting, but I felt like the beginning was a bit... anti-climatic. I mean the very first scene; from what I remember, it's written from a first-person point of view, and these are not memories but the descriptions of what is happening at the moment; given the narrator's emotional state at the moment, they are surprisingly... calm. Probably less descriptions and more character's thoughts? Or change it to the third-person pov? Speaking of descriptions, I've ended up almost skipping many of them because they were in a middle of what was supposed to be an emotionally tense/plot-important scene, and it can sometimes, well, ruin the mood. Also, I've got the impression that some dialogue was too long/unnecessary for the plot and hence can be shortened, but since it's only demo, it's kinda hard to tell.

This said, I'm interested in what will happen next, so good luck with working on the full version ^_^
Hmm, thanks for the comments, but they're a little confusing. What do you mean the beginning is anti-climatic? I understand that they're a series of short scenes which are only supposed to make sense in hindsight, but at no point do I think they're anticlimatic because there wasn't supposed to be a climax to begin with. Unless you meant to say some other word?

There was no first-person narration other than the first two super-short scenes. And I'm a bit confused by what you meant by they were "calm" - because if a little child screaming at the top of her lungs in the midst of a fire-strewn hell is calm to you, I have no idea what isn't. ^^;

Apart from the first two mini-scenes, which are really short and have absolutely no description whatsoever, everything else is in third person, so I really don't quite understand what you're talking about. Mind explaining? /:
LliiraAnna wrote: I should learn to keep my smartass comments to myself as well
What you posted aren't smartass comments, relax
Yeah, they just made me sound like an idiot :(

About anti-climatic. I think it's my poor choice of words, since I didn't know how else to describe it (english's not my native language, and, well, I make mistakes). I'll try to explain myself. There is nothing wrong with the situation itself - it's the description that works against said situation. Yes, it's a child, and s(he) is screaming, and everything is burning. But his/her thoughts are, well, how do I say it... people usually do not think with such long, descriptive sentences even under normal circumstances, let alone extreme situations. The descriptions would be completely ok if the scene was written from the 3rd person pov of if these were memories, but it is not.
Because when you see a burning person, you think "OMG!" and not "I see a burning person...". >>
And yes, I was referring to the first two scenes, the rest of the game was perfectly ok in this regard.
...why do I get the feeling that I'm only digging myself deeper? :cry:
Last edited by LliiraAnna on Tue Jul 09, 2013 5:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Crimson Rafflesia [Psych|Thriller|GxB/BxG] FULL DEMO 1.0

#258 Post by Hazel-Bun » Tue Jul 09, 2013 5:15 pm

No worries Anna! I felt the same way while playing through the first few scenes. I felt like a narrator would have had more impact on me for some reason too. Even though it was in first person, I felt somewhat detached in the beginning :/ The story picked up from there though! I really enjoyed the intrigue and artwork of your game! For a demo it was very,very good and it made me excited to play the whole thing when it finally comes out ^^

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Re: Crimson Rafflesia [Psych|Thriller|GxB/BxG] FULL DEMO 1.0

#259 Post by pickle131 » Tue Jul 09, 2013 5:25 pm

I would actually disagree about the beginning. I find the description helps to better present the situation than simple reactions/exclamations. It also adds a somewhat surreal feel to the beginning rather than simply having all the characters panic, which I find suits the game more. These characters are obviously not completely "normal", so the way they deal with these situations, or what they would tend to notice and think, wouldn't necessarily be either.
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Re: Crimson Rafflesia [Psych|Thriller|GxB] - Demo 1.0 Incomi

#260 Post by rin966 » Wed Jul 10, 2013 12:30 am

Kirroha wrote: 1. What do you think of the game so far?
2. Who are generally your favourite characters, and why?
3. What are some questions you want answered the most in the full game?
4. What do you predict are answers to these questions?
5. Which characters do you find the most curious or interesting? (Can overlap with #1)
6. What do you generally think of the story so far?
7. What particular scene(s) did you like in the demo?
8. ... Pairings/Ships, do you have any?
9. TAKE A RANDOM SCREENSHOT! :)

Yay thanks!
1. It's awesome hats down
2. If I must choose then Sho~ Call me weird or all, but I'm absolutely in love with her psychopathic attitude and the way she 'decompose' the bullet is amazing! Her snarky comment is absolutely brilliant, genius, if I might say (got to love 'I accidentally killed Vincent on purpose'). Layner following right behind with his err... 'abstract' comment. But from what I experienced, he must hid a lot below that joker mask..... especially because he easily slip past Sho and Kaison and he knew about Chloe and Shirley.
3. It's too much to list it down....
4. I'm not going to make a speculation yet~ but, if anything, please show us what Sho had painted in the beginning of the story.
5. I guess Sho got my interest the most. Kaison got a little bit of my interest especially his pyrokinesis. I'm not going to start asking for Layner, he is a man full of mistery
6. It was a tad bit confusing, but I think it was also a tad bit straight forward like how Kaison, Henry, and Iris joining NLF. The minor character felt misterious for me since they didn't have a big role but they are there for something that connect them with the events happening. I like a good read and a deep story so I guess I'm in love already. Anyway, will there be any disturbing scene?
7. The time when Sho and Kaison met at the church. Also, I'm pissed at how I can't give a chase for the NLF people if I decided to kill attack them.
8. Sho/Kaison, Layner/Anyone
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Re: Crimson Rafflesia [Psych|Thriller|GxB/BxG] FULL DEMO 1.0

#261 Post by Coren » Wed Jul 10, 2013 7:44 am

LliiraAnna wrote:
Kirroha wrote:
LliiraAnna wrote: Yeah, they just made me sound like an idiot :(

About anti-climatic. I think it's my poor choice of words, since I didn't know how else to describe it (english's not my native language, and, well, I make mistakes). I'll try to explain myself. There is nothing wrong with the situation itself - it's the description that works against said situation. Yes, it's a child, and s(he) is screaming, and everything is burning. But his/her thoughts are, well, how do I say it... people usually do not think with such long, descriptive sentences even under normal circumstances, let alone extreme situations. The descriptions would be completely ok if the scene was written from the 3rd person pov of if these were memories, but it is not.
Because when you see a burning person, you think "OMG!" and not "I see a burning person...". >>
And yes, I was referring to the first two scenes, the rest of the game was perfectly ok in this regard.
...why do I get the feeling that I'm only digging myself deeper? :cry:
No, they don't, you have a point there. :) I was just trying to clarify. Hmm, true that. It is a memory, actually, but since now you mentioned it, do you think it'll sound better if I change the entire scene to past tense?

There's no way I can simply change it all to scared reactions, because that simply won't work and would do nothing to contribute to the story other than "Help! OMG! Eek!". The surreal effect was what I was aiming for, but if that bothers you, I'll change it to past tense so it'll seem more like a memory.

Thanks for playing. :)

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Re: Crimson Rafflesia [Psych|Thriller|GxB/BxG] FULL DEMO 1.0

#262 Post by lemonscent » Wed Jul 10, 2013 10:58 am

I actually liked the beginning. Like pickle said, it makes the mood more surreal, which suits the rest of the story. I guess adding a few more fearful phrases may do the intro some good, but I thought the narrator seemed scared enough.

I think of most of the first-person narration as the lead-up to the point when the narrator is driven insane and starts believing death is beautiful. And I thought the whole "it's beautifulllllll~" (I paraphrase) part was the main point of the prologue.

Chances are, I'm totally mistaken. But that was just what I personally got from it.
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Re: Crimson Rafflesia [Psych|Thriller|GxB/BxG] FULL DEMO 1.0

#263 Post by Hazel-Bun » Wed Jul 10, 2013 12:12 pm

Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with the intro either when it comes to what you were trying to accomplish! I think you did a great job of making it all surreal but I feel like, with the narrators so passively watching carnage... I can't get any real emotional reaction. I'm not saying they should be screaming their heads off. That's not their character and wouldn't convey the same message. I personally just felt detached from the whole ordeal because, in first person, the narrator seems detached. But either way I think it serves it's purpose well, just certain technics work better for certain people ^^ I can't really be hyped up in first person unless the person themselves are hyped up/scared/whatever intense emotion you can name. I just end up reading it like "80" they be crazy~

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Re: Crimson Rafflesia [Psych|Thriller|GxB/BxG] FULL DEMO 1.0

#264 Post by enkasai » Thu Jul 11, 2013 7:09 am

First off, congratulations on the demo's release! I've really enjoyed it so far, and I'm looking forward to the full game!

Now, for the real review:

Hm, I can't help but be reminded of Doppelganger by the general theme of the GUI (especially the Yes/No and Prefs screen) and the use of the NVL. The art is very nice, though the I feel like it's kinda mish-mashed, since the the art style of the CGs and some of the sprites tend to jump around a bit. The BGs seem kind of messy at times, and it makes it kinda hard to read the text, but a bit less strength on the filters and a darker shade to the lower half should fix it.

Also, I can't help but feel that the dialogue box is too big for the text... I kinda felt that way with Ribbon of Green, too. Maybe make the font a little bigger, or make the dialogue box smaller? I guess I just don't like seeing wasted space, haha. I generally prefer using sans serif fonts for anything that requires a long reading time on a computer screen since it's easier on the eyes, and serif fonts tend to look small/tall on screen. IDK. >.> And are the save slots really just limited to 12? It wasn't enough for me, since I tend to save a lot, especially with a plot like this, so...

As for the story, I'd say it's quite well-thought out. ^^ Kudos to you guys! There's a good tone to the mystery, though the setting seems a bit forced, and there are lots of loopholes in the logic that I just dismiss with a willing suspension of disbelief. All the politics and power-play discussions don't really sound polished and at points it kinda sounds like it's trying too hard. But I guess it isn't so bad. Maybe I'm just being picky since I'm taking a class in political science and sociology right now and my mind has been overloaded with theories and ideologies of dead guys, hurr. It gets confusing around the middle with all the jumping from PoV to PoV and in the timeline. It just kinda makes it hard to keep up with what's happening, who's narrating, and get how the sequence of events goes. ._. I personally find it a challenge to work with multiple perspectives in a VN since the gameplay and the whole 'choices' thing throws it toward the 'player is a character' perspective. I generally have the mindset of playing as a character when playing a VN, so playing the watcher/observer feels kinda odd to me.

Uhh, Sho's character is generally static and stable in the main story. She changes a bit depending on the choices made, and since it jumps back to the plot afterwards, it makes it seem like she tends to have little inconsistences now and then. Towards the end, I'm kind of feeling like Kaison's the one who the story actually revolves around... The character relationships are quite the complex web, so I suggest being careful with that since it'll be easy to go overboard with it.

Also, Layner reminds of Shinra from Durarara!!... (Neo from Doppelganger reminded of Izaya, too...) Honestly, I don't know if this is a good or bad thing for his character.

Ack. Umm. Total newbie and this is my first post ever. I haven't actually read through all the comments so maybe you've already addressed some of my points, yeah... I probably seem like such an overbearing critic here. Feel free to snap at me.
Last edited by enkasai on Thu Jul 11, 2013 8:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Crimson Rafflesia [Psych|Thriller|GxB/BxG] FULL DEMO 1.0

#265 Post by azureXtwilight » Thu Jul 11, 2013 7:37 am

Ah, the similarities between doppelganger and this is because the person who made the GUIs for both games are the same. XD As if the characters... I think the both of us doesn't really watch durarara so I don't think it's intentional :P
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Re: Crimson Rafflesia [Psych|Thriller|GxB/BxG] FULL DEMO 1.0

#266 Post by enkasai » Thu Jul 11, 2013 8:40 am

azureXtwilight wrote:Ah, the similarities between doppelganger and this is because the person who made the GUIs for both games are the same. XD As if the characters... I think the both of us doesn't really watch durarara so I don't think it's intentional :P
Oh, yeah. I know some of the people at Soyasushi worked on Doppelganger and I assumed that was why there are similarities, though I didn't expect it would be the exact same person to make the GUI, lol. I just kinda feel like it's too similar. I get that the themes are sort of the same, but it would be better if there was a more glaring difference to set them apart. Even then, bloody red droplets on a dark grunge background is pretty common nowadays especially with the vampire craze, lol so, like... maybe the flowers? The flowers are pretty and quite distinct in terms of style/design, and they're in the textbox, too, so. Just make them broken and bloody or something, haha.

Clearly I'm sugar-high. I know how much of a pain in the neck making a Prefs screen is. Why am I posting useless comments here? ._.

I'm just a really big fan of Durarara!! and I was reading fanfiction during the time I was playing so maybe that's the reason why those references popped up in my head, haha. ^u^" //shot

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Re: Crimson Rafflesia [Psych|Thriller|GxB/BxG] FULL DEMO 1.0

#267 Post by Coren » Thu Jul 11, 2013 10:13 am

enkasai wrote:
azureXtwilight wrote:Ah, the similarities between doppelganger and this is because the person who made the GUIs for both games are the same. XD As if the characters... I think the both of us doesn't really watch durarara so I don't think it's intentional :P
Oh, yeah. I know some of the people at Soyasushi worked on Doppelganger and I assumed that was why there are similarities, though I didn't expect it would be the exact same person to make the GUI, lol. I just kinda feel like it's too similar. I get that the themes are sort of the same, but it would be better if there was a more glaring difference to set them apart. Even then, bloody red droplets on a dark grunge background is pretty common nowadays especially with the vampire craze, lol so, like... maybe the flowers? The flowers are pretty and quite distinct in terms of style/design, and they're in the textbox, too, so. Just make them broken and bloody or something, haha.

Clearly I'm sugar-high. I know how much of a pain in the neck making a Prefs screen is. Why am I posting useless comments here? ._.

I'm just a really big fan of Durarara!! and I was reading fanfiction during the time I was playing so maybe that's the reason why those references popped up in my head, haha. ^u^" //shot
Soyasushi is mainly one person (aka me) with random help from other sources at points. :) I helped Azure with the plot for Doppelganger, yes. We commissioned the same person for the GUI in both games. Sorry about the save slots! That was how it was designed in the GUI. I apologize.

Can you PM me about some inconsistencies in the game? I'd like to get those addressed as soon as possible. I think it'll be more constructive for the both of us if you can point them out for me instead of saying that it is loopy. :)

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Re: Crimson Rafflesia [Psych|Thriller|GxB/BxG] FULL DEMO 1.0

#268 Post by D`Angel18 » Thu Jul 11, 2013 9:45 pm

This is just an unimportant question but please answer me, is Sho and Flora of the same age?
I have my own answer which is maybe but I just want to know your opinion guys. :D
Thanks everyone :)
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Re: Crimson Rafflesia [Psych|Thriller|GxB/BxG] FULL DEMO 1.0

#269 Post by lemonscent » Fri Jul 12, 2013 12:07 am

I don't actually remember, but probably. At most they're 2~3 years apart.
Is your assumption that Flora = Sho? IDK, I just got that vibe from the way you phrased the question.
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Re: Crimson Rafflesia [Psych|Thriller|GxB/BxG] FULL DEMO 1.0

#270 Post by D`Angel18 » Fri Jul 12, 2013 12:52 am

@lemonscent
Nope, I was wondering what is Flora's age. Thank you for answering :D.
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