Paradise Plus(GXG)

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Sexy Yuri
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Re: Paradise Plus(GXG) Indiegogo (Demo inside)

#46 Post by Sexy Yuri »

wererat42 wrote:Been playing through the demo, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. For the most part. The script still needs some editing work for instance they call Yui the 'class representation' instead of 'class representative'.

Also, there's something very awkward about mixing random Japanese words into English, especially in a game that is originally written in English and not a translation. For instance, when you're introducing Ayu, why don't you just use the word 'cute'? That's literally what 'kawaii' means in English. There's no need to leave it untranslated. We can all assume the characters are already speaking Japanese, which is being translated into English for the reader's benefit. Same thing goes with 'sensei'; in this context it really just means 'teacher'.
Glad that you were pleasantly surprised. :D I guess, everyone on the team over look that. When introducing Ayu, I wasn't thinking cute for some reason or maybe I just like kawaii better. I will try to lesson the Japanese words then. I don't know about dropping sensei though.. We will see. We should have less errored verison of the game with voices at the end of the month.

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Re: Paradise Plus(GXG) Indiegogo (Demo inside)

#47 Post by wererat42 »

Sexy Yuri wrote:
wererat42 wrote:Been playing through the demo, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. For the most part. The script still needs some editing work for instance they call Yui the 'class representation' instead of 'class representative'.

Also, there's something very awkward about mixing random Japanese words into English, especially in a game that is originally written in English and not a translation. For instance, when you're introducing Ayu, why don't you just use the word 'cute'? That's literally what 'kawaii' means in English. There's no need to leave it untranslated. We can all assume the characters are already speaking Japanese, which is being translated into English for the reader's benefit. Same thing goes with 'sensei'; in this context it really just means 'teacher'.
Glad that you were pleasantly surprised. :D I guess, everyone on the team over look that. When introducing Ayu, I wasn't thinking cute for some reason or maybe I just like kawaii better. I will try to lesson the Japanese words then. I don't know about dropping sensei though.. We will see. We should have less errored verison of the game with voices at the end of the month.
Honestly, I do know of at least one translated book published in English where the author elected to leave the word sensei untranslated, and that is Edwin McClellan's translation of Natsume Soseki's Kokoro. But he did include a footnote that explained his decision. Then there's the thing about honorifics. You didn't use them for a while but then you suddenly start with Ayu.

Since the story is set in Japan and honorifics play a very large role in society, I don't see that as big of a deal, but honestly I rarely see many translated anime or manga that keep them these days.

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Sexy Yuri
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Re: Paradise Plus(GXG) Indiegogo (Demo inside)

#48 Post by Sexy Yuri »

wererat42 wrote:
Sexy Yuri wrote:
wererat42 wrote:Been playing through the demo, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. For the most part. The script still needs some editing work for instance they call Yui the 'class representation' instead of 'class representative'.

Also, there's something very awkward about mixing random Japanese words into English, especially in a game that is originally written in English and not a translation. For instance, when you're introducing Ayu, why don't you just use the word 'cute'? That's literally what 'kawaii' means in English. There's no need to leave it untranslated. We can all assume the characters are already speaking Japanese, which is being translated into English for the reader's benefit. Same thing goes with 'sensei'; in this context it really just means 'teacher'.
Glad that you were pleasantly surprised. :D I guess, everyone on the team over look that. When introducing Ayu, I wasn't thinking cute for some reason or maybe I just like kawaii better. I will try to lesson the Japanese words then. I don't know about dropping sensei though.. We will see. We should have less errored verison of the game with voices at the end of the month.
Honestly, I do know of at least one translated book published in English where the author elected to leave the word sensei untranslated, and that is Edwin McClellan's translation of Natsume Soseki's Kokoro. But he did include a footnote that explained his decision. Then there's the thing about honorifics. You didn't use them for a while but then you suddenly start with Ayu.

Since the story is set in Japan and honorifics play a very large role in society, I don't see that as big of a deal, but honestly I rarely see many translated anime or manga that keep them these days.
Yeah, I completely forgot about them when writing it up until Ayu. ^-^;; I will definitely go back and place them after I brush up on them a bit more. Yeah, I will maybe have sensei hover over with the meaning and why I decide to leave it.

I might need to check out Natsume Soseki's Kokoro then! :D

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Re: Paradise Plus(GXG) Indiegogo (Demo inside)

#49 Post by Skarn »

The demo is not really bad, but I think it misses its purpose. The goal of a demo is to demonstrate the good points of your game, to make the people want the finished product. Here, there is nothing to really catch the reader's attention. After a short display of all characters, the game abruptly ends before the plot actually starts. The selling points of the game are not highlighted.

Perhaps a comparison with what I think is a excellent demo will be more explicit. In the Dizzy Hearts demo (which also a girl's love game - sort of), despite having many characters, the demo only focuses on two. We learn the basis of the main heroine , we learn about the princess, we are introduced to the main plot device (the closing by ceremony), and we finish on a beautiful cliffhanger.

Here... First, there is no cliffhanger. Ok, I know it is hard for a love story demo to have a twist ending which is not totally absurd ("Oh my! The heroine's mother is kissing the American student!"), but some ideas about what could happened next will be nice.

Second, the concept is not original enough to live on its own. Ok, it is full yuri, it is not common, but it does exist. For the few I know about if, I cannot sum up the game as an unique, easily recognizable concept, like, for example, "disabled girls" (Katawa Shoujo).

Finally, the characters are pretty cool, but, to actually care for them, we need information on them. And here, we just know their names and social positions (track team captain, American student, hot as hell mother...). The only character with a beginning of a story is the heroine, and, even here, it is far too under-developed. For example, we do not even know the "other girl" name in the demo. Is the main character an assumed lesbian? A closeted one? Did the other girl take the initiative, or was she the active one? How far did they go? It is the XXIst century, Internet exists, did they keep contact despite the distance? Perhaps the other girl considered that happened a mistake and refuses any further contact? An what about the mother? She must know what did happened? What was her reaction? I do not ask you to answer these questions in the demo, but simply to give us a little something, a starting point from where our imagination can go wild.

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Sexy Yuri
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Re: Paradise Plus(GXG) 6/24 Indiegogo (Demo inside)

#50 Post by Sexy Yuri »

Sorry for long time no update but the demo is coming a long fine. We are just waiting on a couple of people and going through some last minute auditions. :wink:

If you have been following my tumblr then you may have notice that I have been posting up clips for certain characters. I have now adding links to the voice clips from tumblr so you can hear them too. I hope you like them. :D

Sadly the new demo will be out after the campaign ends. Sorry about that but some complication that I didn't see coming. :(

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Sexy Yuri
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Re: Paradise Plus(GXG)

#51 Post by Sexy Yuri »

Hey folks!

The project is still going. ^^ I just took sometime off last year to deal with some personal stuff that need to deal with. Well, it's been all good now so I can focus on the project again. Sorry, for going MIA for a while. :( Still have to recontact the staff to see if they are still interested in completing this. :wink: Hopefully, they are.

Anywho, it's back on and I'm ready to dive in again. I hope to give you more updates soon.

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Re: Paradise Plus(GXG)

#52 Post by wererat42 »

Welcome back. Heard some of the voice samples for the game and they sounded pretty good.
Hope to see this released sometime.

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Re: Paradise Plus(GXG)

#53 Post by DerpyPoodle »

As of now, it seems the game is in a bit of development hell, so I would like to ask if you do have a specific release date for the VN itself, or even to put a mirror up for the demo again (since the link is dead). Any sort of activity, or progress would be nice to hear of at this point?

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Re: Paradise Plus(GXG)

#54 Post by squark »

While I don't mind voices, I really just hope they're not laden with so much post-processing that the characters sound like kids. I haven't downloaded yet, but I really should. It looks like it's shaping up to something special ^^

I take it the Kotoro referred to in the preamble is the family pet?
I wonder if any of the endings will be classed as a "Hard Route", but that's for another day to find out ^^v
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Sexy Yuri
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Re: Paradise Plus(GXG)

#55 Post by Sexy Yuri »

wererat42 wrote:Welcome back. Heard some of the voice samples for the game and they sounded pretty good.
Hope to see this released sometime.
Glad that you like the voice samples. ^^ The game will be finish sometime since some IRL problems have been finally solved.
DerpyPoodle wrote:As of now, it seems the game is in a bit of development hell, so I would like to ask if you do have a specific release date for the VN itself, or even to put a mirror up for the demo again (since the link is dead). Any sort of activity, or progress would be nice to hear of at this point?
Actually, I will be revamping the demo with edits and changes so the demo can be better then it once was. So, you will have to wait a bit longer on that. ^^ Right now, I'm going back and recontacting the people who were helping with the project and so far I have the lead artist and one of voice actress who wish to continue working on it. Art production should be start again during the summer or fall.
squark wrote:While I don't mind voices, I really just hope they're not laden with so much post-processing that the characters sound like kids. I haven't downloaded yet, but I really should. It looks like it's shaping up to something special ^^

I take it the Kotoro referred to in the preamble is the family pet?
I wonder if any of the endings will be classed as a "Hard Route", but that's for another day to find out ^^v
Don't worry, I'll try to prevent the characters from sounding like kids hopefully. I'm still really new on that.

I hope Paradise Plus will be special. ^^

Nope, Kotoro is actually is person and not a pet. Probably will need to revisit it that and make it clear in the demo and game. She is mention in it when the old demo was up.

Yes, some of the routes will be harder to get then others. Sena's mother Naomi will be harder to get than Sae or Yue. Also, we got the harem route which is new addition as my taste has change since way back then and will be hard to get as well.

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Re: Paradise Plus(GXG)

#56 Post by squark »

Sexy Yuri wrote:Don't worry, I'll try to prevent the characters from sounding like kids hopefully. I'm still really new on that.

I hope Paradise Plus will be special. ^^

Nope, Kotoro is actually is person and not a pet. Probably will need to revisit it that and make it clear in the demo and game. She is mention in it when the old demo was up.

Yes, some of the routes will be harder to get then others. Sena's mother Naomi will be harder to get than Sae or Yue. Also, we got the harem route which is new addition as my taste has change since way back then and will be hard to get as well.
Woot, normal sounding characters! I'm liking this more and more!
The only reason I asked about Kotoro is she was mentioned once and then seemingly forgotten. I can guess this will be addressed in the full game.

Yay! I like hard routes, keeps me trying choices and actions that I might otherwise disagree with. A Harem route :shock: ? Those tend be ridiculously easy. I'm glad you're making it sound like it will be stupifyingly hard. Bravo (or Brava, as the case may be), and a big Bravi! to your team ^^
Without communication, nothing is possible.
"All we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore"
-- Edgar Allen Poe, "A Dream Within A Dream"
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Raven Hollow (on hold for now)
Peace and Love,
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Re: Paradise Plus(GXG)

#57 Post by DerpyPoodle »

Oh, well, thank you.

I'll admit I was a bit sad since there hadn't been any updates since this seems like such an interesting concept to cover (especially with the few yuri/lesbian games in the VN genre). But, thanks for the response, and I'll be excited to hear any news on the VN -

Have a nice day.

And I agree with Squark that the voices do seem a bit children, which made it kind of cringy when I listened to the voice samples. Other than that, this seems like a well polished idea, and is looking to be a wonderful project.

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Re: Paradise Plus(GXG)

#58 Post by squark »

No information since April. Right now, I'm cautiously hopeful that we'll hear something one way or the other.
Without communication, nothing is possible.
"All we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore"
-- Edgar Allen Poe, "A Dream Within A Dream"
Current Projects:
Universal Hope Stalled
Raven Hollow (on hold for now)
Peace and Love,
Squark

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Re: Paradise Plus(GXG)

#59 Post by DerpyPoodle »

RIP

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Re: Paradise Plus(GXG)

#60 Post by Drr »

So sad

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