Lemma Soft Forums

Caveat: I do understand that I was playing a demo so some of these notes may be known issues, but I figure it's probably better to list too much than too little?
Things I Liked:
* Interesting story
* Lots of hours of gameplay (even just in the demo!)
* Interesting characters
* A ton of different expressions for the characters
* Interesting, mysterious world
* Lots of CGs
* The character art is great
* Text font is easy to read

Potential Issues?:
* The lack of the bottom of the nose drawn on Alice's bust (talking) sprite bothered me. This is probably highly subjective and a stylistic choice, but she was the only character without the bottom of their nose drawn in straight-on shots.
* I play all my visual novels on max text speed, so that's what I attempted to play the demo on. This would occasionally cause problems with the way some of the dialogue is handled in the game, where either some of the dialogue in a particular text box would appear with timed delays, or when the transition to the next text box felt like it was automatically forced (?). The former problem (timed text delays) could be remedied with a marker at the end of the text for each screen, so the reader knows that the text is done. I would finish reading the text on the screen and click on the text box to proceed, only to see delayed text pop into the box (faster than I could read it) as the screen changed. However, if there were some sort of indicator that let me know when the text was done loading, I would be able to tell when to wait versus when to click for the next screen.
* I really wanted a "History" option to review what text had been on my screen. This was exacerbated by the above problem, but it might be nice.
* It wasn't obvious to me that in the UI, the left-most oval button was actually a skip button. I actually figured it was just a button whose functionality was not supported in the demo. When I hovered over it nothing happened, and it wasn't until I was replaying some choices that I noticed it now said "SKIP".
* There are some text/typo problems in the story. Examples: at least one incorrect use of its vs it's (though I was unable to grab a screenshot), "Cath is so strange, but if I really wnat his help", "Though faint, It's impossible" (capitalization).
* In the scene where Alice and Cath first meet Linus and Cath gets shot, there's 2 related CGs: a close-up of Cath's face and a picture of Linus holding Cath. However, the direction Cath is facing in these two CGs conflict with one another. In the zoomed-in CG, Cath's head is by Linus's left arm, but in the zoomed-out CG, Cath's head is by Linus's right arm.
* One of Alice's sprites in the demo doesn't have eyes. I have a screenshot of her saying "I don't what?" in the kitchen with this sprite, if it would help.
* It was a bit unclear to me how much of Alice's memory she's supposed to have lost. She doesn't know who she used to be or where she came from, but she makes references in the dialogue to modern day pop culture, like match.com and Aladdin. I found myself wondering, how is it that she remembers these things but nothing about herself? Wouldn't she have lost memory about this too?
* On the first night in the truck, I was confused that after Cath told me, "THAT'S IT; I'M DONE ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS," I was presented with the option to re-ask the questions I had just asked him instead of being forced to move on.
* It may be related to the fact that I play the game on the highest text speed (and click through the panels as soon as I'm done reading them), but I had what sounded something akin to a jock jam playing during the first car chase scene when Cath got shot. It was a bit dissonant with what the text on my screen was telling me was happening.
* Maybe I missed something, but the first fight between Alice and Cath on the roof confused me. They had just finished getting shot at, and they get to the roof. Before Alice even realizes she'll need to jump across the canyon, she and Cath have this huge, long fight that it seems like people who got shot at and that are not in a remotely safe place would not be having. Wouldn't their first priority be to find cover and a safe location? (As a comparison, having this argument after she realizes she has to trust Cath enough to jump across the canyon, as she does when she has this realization in the game, makes total sense to me.)

* Thank you for pointing out about the nose. xD; If she's the only one whose is different, then I need to fix it in order to keep the art consistent. By the time of the final release, I will most likely be revamping all of the art, so I'll be sure to remember that.
* I really like the idea of the text marker, and hadn't even thought of it before. I made the text automatically skip ahead when one character interrupts another, but I've gotten a lot of complaints about that, so I'll eliminate it. I'm very sorry if playing through with max text speed was a bad experience; to my shame, I never tested the text speed that fast, so I sincerely appreciate the feedback on this.
* The game should allow you to review previous dialogue by scrolling up with your mouse (you may already know this; if so, then sorry ehehe) but people unaccustomed to Ren'Py games may not be aware. But a History feature with an individual textbox that opens upon clicking would be a nice addition, so thank you for the suggestion.
* SKIP did not initially appear because in the game's options, skipping unread text/dialogue is automatically disabled. The game can be set to allow skipping of both read and unread text in the options menu, but the button cannot really be pressed otherwise. This is due to the graphics I created in designing it, so the problem can be remedied easily.
* Oh, dear. I'm so embarrassed about those typos. Thank you for bringing them to my attention.
* *sobs over the CG discrepancies of Cath in the tunnel* Yeah, I have had that brought to my attention, too...Will definitely be fixed in the final version.
* Lol, in regard to the sprite where her eyes get small, I intended it to be a comical expression. Like she's just befuddled. But if it's off-putting, then I understand. XD
* For the sake of making lame references, Alice suspends her character, like the others break the fourth wall occasionally. ^^; I've thought about that, too. I guess it's the part of the story that doesn't take itself too seriously - and there are reasons why she might recall these things that I can't reveal - but if you and others feel it puts too much of a damper on the story, then removing the references is a small price to pay.
* I enabled the repeat of the questions in the truck in case the player wanted to view them again since the choices don't branch and the information is important, but it truly doesn't logically flow with the story. Thank you for saying that; more than one person has pointed that out now, so I'll take care of it.
* "Jock jam..." I lol'd. XD If I recall correctly, then I think I played electronic action music (that's what I'd call it at least) after Cath gets shot. More severe sounding music...may be more appropriate, I agree.
* The fight occurs when Alice is so dismayed by the state of the world and her circumstances that she drops down, unwilling to go on. She doesn't want to flee because she doesn't feel it's worth it. Cath has to persuade her to go on (hence the fight), but like you said, a long argument seems unrealistic, considering the urgency of the situation. I really appreciate your perspective on this issue and will definitely remember it when I'm polishing/rewriting for the final version.

The tight pants thing had me laugh so hard XD Although, in the very beginning when she's 'asleep', it did feel a bit long and overdramatic, but if that was the effect you wanted to evoke so as to dispell it later with the pants joke, then you were fully successful!

like that CG of the Pillar

The second rocket bump scene and the scene where Linus opens up Alice's back made my kokoro go all dokidoki <3

Acer is sooooo annoying and I'm still not sure if I want to murder Cath or not at this point

During the time when Cath is still asleep after the surgery, to me it felt like you tried too hard to bring comedic elements into the plot. I don't mind some comedy with my drama, but I thought you broke the fourth wall a bit too often, and for too long. During the card game scene, when they first started talking about the necessity of such a scene, I thought it was funny, but then they kept and kept on talking about it and to me it felt like it was too much, I wanted them to quickly return to being 'normal' characters again. But maybe that's just me?^^ Also, when during dinner they started talking about dateable characters or something, again it felt to me like they lingered on that topic for too long. I'd prefer a short, cutting remark to make the reader aware that the fourth wall was broken, and then for the characters to go back to normal. Like Alice does sometimes with pop culture references.

Sometimes it felt to me like characters got mad over the littlest of things and overreacted a bit. Like when Alice stared at the plant guy for too long and in the end ended up taped to the wall... I thought it was a bit too much. But again, maybe that's just me being inflexible.^^ It's just that for me, I'd prefer that a story stick mainly with one genre, and since it started out pretty dramatic, I get bothered when it becomes too comedic. ^^ Also, Alice's ceaseless arguments with Cath and how she goes back and forth between hating him and being friendly... Sometimes it felt like she got a bit too mad... Sorry but I don't remember any concrete examples ><

"What promise did we make to each other?" The second would have been, "How did we know each other?" Yet, none of these come up in any conversation. If Cath knowing Alice prior to her loss of consciousness is supposed to be a big secret until some point near the end, then there is way too much hint dropping for Alice to not ask about it before the big reveal.

"Krissy", as does Cath when he's on the verge of death. At this point it's obvious that all of these people knew Alice (or at least knew of Alice) prior to her loss of consciousness. Unless androids can suffer from brain damage, or Alice has been programmed not to pick up on hints of who she used to be, it makes absolutely no sense for her to not realize that these people are familiar with her old self.

Thank you for addressing the discrepancy between the dark beginning and the more frivolous latter half. I've had concerns about balancing the two genres in the story - even the jump from Alice's first brooding monologue to rambling about Cath's pants. While I'd like to offer a reprieve from all the darkness/death in the beginning, I've worried that it doesn't carry well into the zaniness of the latter half. I need to create a better harmony between the two, and like you said, breaking the fourth wall so much runs the risk of "de-legitimizing" the characters more than being funny. I agree. I want to find a way to better integrate the prevalent "dark themes" (Alice's past, the romantic future and future in general of a person lacking a human body, Blight) with the lighter, day-to-day life and "companionship" moments. Thank you for the feedback on Alice's temper and Daemon as well; I truly, TRULY treasure your perspective on all these things.

Linus and the others originally refer to her as "Krissy" because they heard Cath call her that and Alice had not yet introduced herself. But you're right. The hint dropping...needs to be trimmed. Significantly. Ahem.