Essence [post-apocalyptic GxB] [scifi/dramedy] DEMO UP!

[ritam]

I just played the demo and thought it was really good. And not lame funny, but funny funny. Laugh-out-loud-from-your-mouth-hole funny. Well-written and fun to look at as well. I really look forward to the full version

PS Just to elaborate slightly on "well-written," I actually thought that Alice's poetic waxing was nicely put, and you didn't once say "prob" in the middle of a serious discussion, which I recently witnessed in a game and it was disgusting. I like that you used some, for lack of a better phrase, SAT words. Like "irenic" or "susurrus." (Neither of those were in there, but I didn't want to look up the ones you did use, and I like both of them as words.) Thanks for your time (and effort)!

[Hoosha]

HAY will we ever see what STEVEN looks like?! He's my FAVE >=] When I realized he was walking around in boxers I found myself blushing wondering what =]..nevermind. But ughhhhh droooool so hot

[snowflakes]

Let's try the demo yaaaaaay ! I'll write my opinion later

__________

I'm speechless. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. I think I never play such an amazing game. I don't know how to describe what I think I'm like brain freeze, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY THIS IS --- *faints*
Their personalities, the story, the art... Everything is stunning. I think he only think I will improve are the backgrounds, but they aren't bad at all, they even fit with the art (i know how hard is to find backgrounds that fit with your story.. Or so hard to draw them) So I haven't got anything bad to say about this game.
Really, this is one of the best games I ever played. My congratulations, best wishes and of course, thank you for make such a incredible game. Thank you a lot for creating this game. I'm looking forward to play the complete version<333

* Just say that I'm spanish, and It's hard to translate such incredible dialogues, but they worth it!

[destiny_921]

Ooh, I remember this!!

Hard to believe that it's been over a year for this project..

I didn't know you had a demo for this till now. Dl-ed and played it today while taking a break from studying.

Where do I begin?

Art/Graphics: I like the refreshing style of your art. It's artsy, it's quirky - and it totally suits your cast of characters. Both in terms of personality, and outright looks. The GUI, the menus - it's there, it's in-your-face, and it's interesting. Even when looking at the main menu itself, it got me a tad more curious about how the game was gonna go. I love the CGs, by the way.

Plot/Story/Writing: Really, really, nicely done. I love the mixture of angst, drama, comedy and everything. The interactions between the characters were fantastic, some simple yet complicated. The dialogue itself was an amazing melting pot of diversity - from snarky to the sarcastic, the witty to the comedic quips, the drama to the bluntness of them of all. And on the other hand, you have the stark reality of the situation in nicely done descriptions. In some scenes, I know what's going to happen. In others, I don't. Either way, you handle the building of the suspense really well. Kudos.

Music/Sounds: You sure know how to pick'em accordingly. Not too much, not too little. The choices for the scenes were just right, and enhanced the game.

Characters: Needless to say, I love how you handled the cast of characters. Not only are they diverse, they have their own roles to play and their personalities... There's a lot more to them that I don't know and I really want to play to full game to find out what.

I totally ship Alice and Cath together, by the way. But gah, that scene. That scene when Cath took a bullet for her - my feels. And that moment Alice hugged Cath - awwww. I really like the development of their understanding. Yes, the two of them totally hate each other. Right. And that's not even mentioning all those previous times. And conversations. Yep.

As for Linus and the others, so much win right there. Especially Mak and Linus. Pfft. Daemon's epic luck with games, Acer's hyperness, Steven's thing with clothes.... comedy gold xD I was SO lucky I wasn't drinking anything when I was playing through that part

Overall, I love everything about the game. It's very original and unique. I hope that this will be eventually finished. All the best and take care!

[SheerGlade]

Thank you so much, guys ;-; When this thread dropped past the first page I was actually pretty relieved since I'm pretty embarrassed about the demo now, but it made me so happy reading that there are still people playing and enjoying the game. I had a very busy semester so I'm still tying the plot outlines together, but I'm almost done and hope to start writing and rewriting the final game soon. It's just the start of a long road but I fully intend on plaguing the world with my lame ideas and characters in visual novel format.

If there's anything specific you guys would like to know about development or just the characters, then there's always email (essenceotome@gmail.com) and asks are always open on my tumblr (http://sheerglade.tumblr.com/). Thanks so much <3

@Hoosha omg Steven would love to know that someone found him so attractive XDD hahaha. He may become 'visible' at some point in the story but it may not exactly be what he looked like before...I'm still not exactly sure if I should reveal his appearance ;D

[snowflakes]

Wow, nice to know that you could make Steven visible.. When I was playing I was thinking all the time about how could be his appearence
And loved the names of the characters: Linus, Acer, Daemon, Malware (the organization)... I didn't realize until yesterday >_<
Finally, did you think about the date of the release of the game? I can't wait !!

[snowflakes]

Updates? D:

[SheerGlade]

So I've dropped off the face of the earth for so long that I don't even feel like I should rear my ugly head now, but I wanted to post an update of sorts for those of you who are interested :)

As I'm still in the writing stage, I don't have much progress I can "present," although I've considered posting excerpts on deviantART or tumblr so you guys could get a taste of the altered writing style and narrative. I've tried to apply the incredibly helpful critiques I've received and feel really good about the project's direction.

This may sound pathetic (or maybe not), but for several weeks I have been writing and not just rewriting the game. I'm pretty proud, too, that I reached the demo's cutoff point (about 65,000 words by the end of Alice's first day in the hideout) in around half as many words (~38,000) without sacrificing any content. If anything, I feel the characters and scenes have a lot more to stand on. While there are still plenty of asinine interactions and jokes (that are probably only funny to me because I'm lame), I have tried to limit scenes to description and dialogue that move the plot along.

Also, in the time I spent rethinking and planning the story based on everyone's advice, I explored my characters' personalities extensively. When you play Essence, I want the cast to come to life, for their emotions and struggles to seem unconquerable. For a few hours, I want the world behind the screen to "be real."

Due to malfunctioning in her system, Alice frequently hallucinates, so her narrative is often dark and bizarre. Her dialogue, however, is blunt and remote, since each interaction is colored by guilt over her murderous nightmares. While her metal body makes her inhumanly strong, her degenerating hardware forces her to rely on the humans she envies: Cath (who she resents for refusing to leave her) and Linus and the other survivors (who, in her psychosis, she fears she may harm).

I have tried to emphasize the characters' flaws - starting with a protagonist who craves the "nothingness" of machines more than a second chance - because I want a lot of room for "metamorphosis" in the story. Because of this, I think the first chapter, where Alice wakes to the ruined planet, seems dismal, but I want the cast's pursuit of hope and happiness to be a struggle - it's hard enough for Alice to decide whether she should "hope" at all. Depending on your choices, Alice's perception of the future can grow bleaker, brighter, or cease to exist. And speaking of your choices...

I have considered making one or two female characters romanceable. Since this would add time to development, I wanted to ask if you guys would be interested, but I promise that I'd never just throw two character routes together for the heck of it. Ada and another special lady have claimed as huge a chunk of my brain as the others, but I wanted to make it clear that two GxG routes, even beside seven GxB routes, would NOT take a backseat or be less thorough simply because they weren't part of the original plan.

Also...a-ahem, I wanted to ask if you guys would like or dislike the inclusion of H-scenes. Although I realize these terms are subjective, I don't mean anything lewd, off-the-wall, or if-your-younger-sibling-walks-in-they-will-never-look-at-you-the-same-ish. My aim is not to cheapen or distract from the rest of the game's content, but eye-candy to enhance it by expressing the bond between Alice and her partner. And yes, this does also summon the awkward question of "Um, she's metal; how does that work?" but that's also something I'd like to address in the story. I could release two separate versions, one with and one without the scenes, or add a content filter to a single release (like Katawa Shoujo).

In time, I hope to share some concept art (GUI, BGs, revamped character designs, art style, etc.) and may host a Kickstarter to raise money for an original soundtrack (because I’d really, REAALLLLY like to have one). When I do release the game, I think it will be through a “pay-what-you-want” operation, where a fraction of the proceeds would go to me and the majority to various charities. :3

tl;dr: writing is going well; the style is much more brief and focused than before; characters have come a long way; GxG routes; maybe H-scenes.

If you guys have any questions, then please don't hesitate to ask. My mind wanders so there's probably a lot I didn't mean to leave out here :c

[Doomzilla]

Yay, so glad to get an update. I can't wait to see how you've developed your writing. I was impressed before and it sounds like you've put a lot of work into it. I would definitely be interested in reading excerpts.

I am neutral on GxG routes. I like the ladies, I just never seem to like the ladies that are romanceable. That said (and if I'm remembering correctly), I think I found Ada pretty interesting. I say go with your gut, if there's a story you want to tell then do it.

I'm always pro maturity, and your description of your intent sounds particularly good. Also I absolutely need to know how it works with a metal protag. That's something I've been wondering since the demo haha!

I am very pleased to hear that you're still working hard! I know you told me it was unlikely, but it's hard not to worry! ^^

[VocaloidsRCool]

You're a very talented writer, and I am curious to see a variation of your writing style.

I am not very fond of GxG. I never did like yuri; however, if that is what you want, it's your game, and you should do what you want with it.

I don't mind H-scenes, I've played a few visual novels with them, and it doesn't bother me. Also, considering the fact that they won't be that mature, I really think it's fine.

Keep up the good work. I look forward to seeing the finished product someday. ^-^

[SheerGlade]

Thanks, guys! ;u;

It's not the best, but I have an excerpt from my first draft here if you're interested. If you don't have a DA account then I'd be just as happy to see your feedback here.

[AKreiko]

Its been a while since I've visited this site//small voice

YURI AND H-SCENES? I don't mind Yuri since its optional, and I've had my fair share of it in other games so why noooooot :^D
As for the H-scenes, I'll have to wait till next year to "legally" read them HAA HAHA //shot/ So releasing one like Katawa Shoujo is a good option! I'm so hyped for it now, take your time with Essence Sloth-chan! ;u; (that was a pretty contradicting statement but you know what I mean ;; )

[baabaa]

I remember playing the demo a while ago and I spent so much time trying to find this thread as this is probably the VN I'm looking most forward to, as of right now. I'm very excited to see how this develops.

As for the GxG routes & the H scenes, as long as they are well written and are with reason (a.k.a written for character development), I have no problem with either.

[ririruetoo]

I'm not opposed to H-scenes or Yuri routes, however I think it would be best for you right to just finish writing what you've already planned. Then, when you release the standard non-h scene/yuri version, you can focus more on elaborating on the new scenes and routes. That's my opinion, but I think it would be best for those just wanting to play the game already.

[Akitsuki]

I would NEVER refuse to play post-apocalyptic GxB game! I'm downloading the demo now, so I'll post more when I finish playing.

Well.. I don't know about yuri and H-scenes. I'm actually fine with yuri, but H-scenes.. I would rather avoid it. So I guess I'd be better if you put them in separate releases.