The Rain Factory [Cyberpunk] [Western Art]

[Raithfyre]

However, how do you plan to do animated cutscenes? Do you have a team large and motivated enough to do that?

Our other two artists are talented in animation, so it should be manageable. We won't be doing anything huge - so no full-on cinematics or whatever - but they should be enough to add some flavor.

[Raithfyre]

Look a Rook

[Lishy]

Wow.. The art is beautiful! I LOVE the streets! And the guy with the cigar, oh my!

[Raithfyre]

Felicia on a bike.

I hope nobody minds, I'll probably just share all the concept stuff.

[latte]

I personally don't mind if you spam all you want when the art is so drop-dead gawgeous. Loving her vehicle too, it's clear just how much love and sweat you guys are pouring into the setting and characters. I'm more of an anime person, but fantastic Western art like that is just what this forum needed right now IMO.

[Raithfyre]

I'm more of an anime person myself as well, but damned if I don't love Cyberpunk. And while I know it can be done well as anime (GITS, Texhnolyze, Cowboy Bebop), I'm really interested by what we're doing (if that makes sense). I don't expect to start a trend or a revolution or anything of course, but I'm glad to be doing something different.

Also, latte, I know I've mentioned in the past that I'm a big fan of your work. If you'd ever like to do a guest piece or something to be included in the gallery, it'd be my honor to have it.

[Raithfyre]

The style of writing I'd been using was too bland in my opinion. Coulda come from any other VN. So I scrapped it all and tried something grittier. Any thoughts? It's nothing like VN's I've seen. More like if Neil Stephenson and Chuck Palahniuk wrote a VN together. But nowhere near as good. Just stylistically. I'm kinda in the mindset now. Lots of strong language in this sample, (under 1000 words) so stay away if that kind of thing bothers you. But lemme know what you think.

[Raithfyre]

Sketch of Felicia. Apparently she's fun to draw. Looks too masculine on the face I think, but it was a super-fast sketch so I suppose it can't be faulted, heh.

[latte]

Sorry for not replying before. Again, it would be a honor to do guest art, specially for this particular project. And that "super-fast sketch" is so good it isn't even funny.

As for the writing, I'm in no position to judge English writing styles specially since I don't read a lot of English language fiction, but it looks nice and unique, and matches the setting well. I'm just not sure if that much swearing would work from beginning to end, but I probably don't even have to say that. Basically, now I'm looking forward to it even more... Any estimation of word count?

[LateWhiteRabbit]

The style of writing I'd been using was too bland in my opinion. Coulda come from any other VN. So I scrapped it all and tried something grittier. Any thoughts? It's nothing like VN's I've seen. More like if Neil Stephenson and Chuck Palahniuk wrote a VN together. But nowhere near as good. Just stylistically. I'm kinda in the mindset now. Lots of strong language in this sample, (under 1000 words) so stay away if that kind of thing bothers you. But lemme know what you think.

Pretty good. It is reminiscent of Neal Stephenson, but I think you might want to make more controlled use of the strong language. It is a little too frequent to have maximum impact. It should be used as sparingly as exclamation points, to drive emphasis where you need it. There are other ways to make a character "salty" without resorting to them cursing constantly in their monologues to themselves.

Love the concept by the way. I love me some cyberpunk. And the art is drop dead gorgeous. I'm jealous of the linework quality. The clean lines and great weight are really something. The line weight control is just insane for a fast sketch.

And I'll leave everyone with a great excerpt from Snowcrash (possibly one of the best novels of all time) demonstrating my point on profanity above:

If the thirty-minute deadline expires, news of the disaster is flashed to CosaNostra Pizza Headquarters and relayed from there to Uncle Enzo himself–the Sicilian Colonel Sanders, the Andy Griffith of Bensonhurst, the straight razor-swinging figment of many a Deliverator’s nightmares, the Capo and prime figurehead of CosaNostra Pizza, Incorporated–who will be on the phone to the customer within five minutes, apologizing profusely. The next day, Uncle Enzo will land on the customer’s yard in a jet helicopter and apologize some more and give him a free trip to Italy–all he has to do is sign a bunch of releases that make him a public figure and spokesperson for CosaNostra Pizza and basically end his private life as he knows it. He will come away from the whole thing feeling that, somehow, he owes the Mafia a favor.

The Deliverator does not know for sure what happens to the driver in such cases, but he has heard some rumors. Most pizza deliveries happen in the evening hours, which Uncle Enzo considers to be his private time. And how would you feel if you had to interrupt dinner with your family in order to call some obstreperous dork in a Burbclave and grovel for a late fucking pizza? Uncle Enzo has not put in fifty years serving his family and his country so that, at the age when most are playing golf and bobbling their granddaughters, he can get out of the bathtub dripping wet and lie down and kiss the feet of some sixteen-year-old skate punk whose pepperoni was thirty-one minutes in coming. Oh, God. It makes the Deliverator breathe a little shallower just to think of the idea.

[Raithfyre]

Sorry for not replying before. Again, it would be a honor to do guest art, specially for this particular project.

I'm glad to hear it =)

As for the writing, I'm in no position to judge English writing styles specially since I don't read a lot of English language fiction, but it looks nice and unique, and matches the setting well. I'm just not sure if that much swearing would work from beginning to end, but I probably don't even have to say that. Basically, now I'm looking forward to it even more... Any estimation of word count?

Yeah, I thought I might be overdoing it with swearing. Trying to find a good balance. Also decided to switch it to first person after all. Not sure of word count. If we decide to do it in episodes, maybe 30k or so? If that. If we don't, then probably over 100k.

Pretty good. It is reminiscent of Neal Stephenson, but I think you might want to make more controlled use of the strong language. It is a little too frequent to have maximum impact. It should be used as sparingly as exclamation points, to drive emphasis where you need it. There are other ways to make a character "salty" without resorting to them cursing constantly in their monologues to themselves.

Yeah, very Neil Stephenson, I feel. I'm actually currently reading "Snow Crash" so I think that comes through some. As empire, the artist said though, when I asked him if it was too Neil: I have a long way to go before I can match his eloquence. Yeah, will scale back the language. That document will probably remain open and it's just what I'm working on, so feel free to pop in you ever feel like it, heh.

[LateWhiteRabbit]

I'm actually currently reading "Snow Crash" so I think that comes through some. As empire, the artist said though, when I asked him if it was too Neil: I have a long way to go before I can match his eloquence.

Re-reading or first time? I was lucky enough to pick it up a year or two after it was published, and it is my "desert island" novel. I wonder if the fact technology and society has advanced more closely to that of the novel in the last 20 years heightens or lessens the impact of the book. The fact Stephenson wrote all that before their was a graphical net, or MMOs, or corporate presence online is amazing to me. He absolutely nails the use of memes and net behavior way before those things were the force they are now. The book almost reads as if it were published in the last 5 years, rather than 21 years ago.

The way Stephenson and William Gibson write is absolutely mesmerizing to me. Gibson's "Idoru" is practically nonfiction at this point.

[Raithfyre]

First time. In the two states I've lived in, across multiple (at least 10) libraries, I've not been able to find a copy of "Snow Crash" nor Gibson's "Neuromancer." Then, lo and behold, as I'm idly browsing the "free books" section of paperbacks in the front of the library here, I found a pocket version of SC. Struck gold, more or less.

I'm actually not very well-read on cyberpunk literature. Hell, I've never even seen Blade Runner. I've found that I often subconsciously borrow themes or ideas from other works, and only notice it retrospectively. So I've taken to trying to avoid stuff similar to whatever I'm currently writing (though I couldn't resist trying something Stephenson-esque here).

That said, I just had an epiphany and I think I'll be taking the writing direction in a different direction. Different than anything I've ever really seen in a VN, actually. Though I could be wrong there.

[Raithfyre]

Why can't I hold all this concept art? This is for the character Rain. Looking for ways to spice up her outfit. Any suggestions?

[LateWhiteRabbit]

Why can't I hold all this concept art? This is for the character Rain. Looking for ways to spice up her outfit. Any suggestions?

The wetsuit alludes to her job, but I'd go farther. You said she has a serial number - why not put that on her outfit? Why not emphasis her job more, with the some of the equipment she uses - maybe she has swimming goggles or a rebreather around her neck for emergencies. I'd also add separate boots and gloves - real wet suits aren't made like footy-pajamas. I imagine that when she isn't on duty she might also wear her suit half-off with the top folded down like a skirt (you can see photos of divers wearing their suits half-off like this).

Your description of the world makes it seem less than "polished" in aesthetics, so a sleek body suit may be a little incongruous with that. I don't know if you're going for the classic cyberpunk aesthetic or not, but it is usually quite dirty and grungy. If you wanted to try and fit that, you might to seek to give Rain a more "self assembled outfit" look.