Lemma Soft Forums

Posted: **Mon May 20, 2013 8:57 pm**

This is our first VN game and we hope you'll enjoy it. It'd be great if you could give your reviews on the current progress ^^ (Story plot, art improvement, Questions are at the bottom.)

Our Visual Novel game are all worked in photoshop, mouse generated (So please excuse art ;_;) (except for sketching) and using ren py.

[Still in Production]

Player: Hana

Story Plot: Hana wakes up from a odd dream. She starts her day off with a argument with her little sister, Aya. Aya gives her a book and abruptly leaves and hana
notices that the book cover came off. The actual title of the book is, The Legendary Emerald Dragon. She reads about the Emerald Dragon and finds out on how to unlock the Emerald Dragon. That's when the book magically glows and sucked her into the book! Next thing she knew, she gets attacked by a monster and faints. When she wakes up, her eyes are bandaged. And there, she meets 3 guys, Iku, Hekui and _______. (Have not decided on a name yet). That's when you find out that the monster has damaged your eyes and you won't be able to see for a week. Then you notice that your not on earth anymore.. Unbelievably, you somehow got sucked into a book! Of course, nobody actually believes you. Since she has nowhere to go, she decides to follow along Iku, Hekui and ____'s journey on unlocking the Emerald Dragon because they each have a wish they want to grant and she can make a wish to go back to earth. From there, she goes on a journey with Iku, Hekui and _____ to unlock the Emerald Dragon... You'll bump into alot of characters, towns, go through different journey(s) & tasks, have failures & success and at the same time, reaching your man's heart.

Demo's first journey: Hana and everyone bumps into a thief and finds out the first clue to solving the first riddle to unlock the Emerald Dragon is in the mountains...?

CG:

: This is for the Full Game

Characters & Side Characters:

Iku

Hekui

___(?)______ (Have not decided on a name)

Have not made a full body image yet either. Just started the CG. HEHE :]

Little sister, Aya

__(?)_______

Someone who is proud and stubborn yet, somehow turned out to look like a pervert after I photo-shopped it... ;_;

Spike Spider

A random spider monster

-More characters coming soon...-

Please comment on your HONEST thoughts and opinions :]

Questions:
1.What personality would you like in the guy(s)?
2.What do you think of the story plot? (be honesttttt, plain, normal, mysterious?)
3.Should a demo be released before or when the full game is finished?
4.Any improvements/advices on art or storyplot? etc
5.Who is your favourite guy above? (If anyone is wondering, the purple haired guy only looks
nicer than everyone else because it's a CG. As soon as i make his full body image, he'll look like hell like everyone else ^^)

Thank you for reading ^^

Posted: **Mon May 20, 2013 9:12 pm**

OHHH!! this looks so nice! I'd like to know, what would this be worth? I really wanna no so I can save up~

Posted: **Mon May 20, 2013 9:15 pm**

I am just wondering... because I'm really picky about commercial releases. How much are you going to sell it?

Posted: **Mon May 20, 2013 9:20 pm**

silverpikachu99 wrote:OHHH!! this looks so nice! I'd like to know, what would this be worth? I really wanna no so I can save up~

Thank you!

(Look below)

azureXtwilight wrote:I am just wondering... because I'm really picky about commercial releases. How much are you going to sell it?

We are planning about 6.99 CDN. May change.. Most likely not.

Posted: **Mon May 20, 2013 9:56 pm**

Please comment on your HONEST thoughts and opinions :]

Questions:
1.What personality would you like in the guy(s)?
2.What do you think of the story plot? (be honesttttt, plain, normal, mysterious?)
3.Should a demo be released before or when the full game is finished?
4.Any improvements/advices on art or storyplot? etc
5.Who is your favourite guy above? (If anyone is wondering, the purple haired guy only looks
nicer than everyone else because it's a CG. As soon as i make his full body image, he'll look like hell like everyone else ^^)

1. I'm a sucker for the Sweet-Cuddly-Ditzy-Older-Tall-Guy-Type.
Examples: Natsuki Shinomiya (UTAPRI), Wakaouji Takafumi (Tokimeki Memorial GS2)
I have weird taste in men. I know. Hehehe... ; u ;

2. The story reminds me of Wizard of Oz mixed with Fushigi Yuugi. I think it's a nice mixture, I love fantasy adventure romance stories. ^^

3. I don't mind waiting for the full version. But if you intend to make it commercial at the end, you should release a free demo.

4. I suggest getting proof readers so that your story is structured and written in a professional matter. No offense though! ; o ;
I just highly recommend it since you are going to sell this game....
As for the story plot itself, I think that there should be backstory as to why Hana's little sister had this magical book and why she covered the book's real cover. Her little sister should have a big role in the plot... ^^
Now for the art... the level of skill isn't quite professional. I recommend buying or atleast borrowing a pen tablet from someone. A majority of people buy VN games for the artistic appeal be-shown them while they enjoy the story. So keep in mind of this before setting a final price for the game.

5. If I were to choose one guy as my favourite it'd be Iku. Although he really isn't my type... He does looks cute. ^^
Although the "Prince" does peak my interest... I'd love to see his full body sprite. = u =

Posted: **Mon May 20, 2013 10:18 pm**

Hi! I'm here to give a bit of advice on the art department (:

I'd advice you that, If you want to go commercial, do some research first. As a person working on art for video games for a living, let me at least share that piece of knowledge with you; it will save you some complications later on!

EVNs are *usually* not as... uhm... high-quality as JVNs, visuals-wise, but they do have a certain quality standard. You need to at least meet the lower end of that standard to be able to market your work efficiently and attract buyers.

Now, You should make the exercise of taking some art/screenshots from recent commercial EVNs and put them next to the art you have and compare them. Compare them honestly, critically. Because all those other EVNs are what you'll be COMPETING against on the market and you need to be able to stand a chance against them.

My personal advice: keep practicing.
The current art level you have for the game is good for a freeware VN, but for a commercial, it still has a way to go (specifically, you still need to work more on anatomy, general structure and coloring. Try to focus on one aspect at a time, it'll be easier! ^^).

Good luck! ^^

Posted: **Mon May 20, 2013 11:37 pm**

Deji wrote: My personal advice: keep practicing.
The current art level you have for the game is good for a freeware VN, but for a commercial, it still has a way to go (specifically, you still need to work more on anatomy, general structure and coloring. Try to focus on one aspect at a time, it'll be easier! ^^).

Good luck! ^^

Thank you on your advice!
It's extremely Inspiring!!
and made me go practice drawing ^^"
I've really just got hit by reality :'O
Anyways, Your honesty and knowledge has motivated me to work harder :O
Because I'd love to have a future of doing this.

Thank you for your advice.
P.S. Love your works ^^

Posted: **Tue May 21, 2013 12:10 am**

This looks interesting to me. The plot reminds me of Fushigi Yuugi, which I really enjoyed when I was younger, so I am curious to see where you will go with this. Purple-hair is probably my favorite design, if only because I do have a weakness for blue hair and variants of such. Will we get to see Hana at all?

As an aside, I would personally caution against anyone who wants to make their first release a commercial game. You're limiting your audience quite a bit to only people who can afford to buy your game. Even if it's cheap, a lot of people simply can't purchase anything online due to age, location, or other restrictions. By making your first release free, you'll be be denying yourself a lot of valuable feedback and publicity. And of course, it's always good to get a completed project under your belt before launching into the commercial realm.

You probably already know most of these, but here are a few commercial visual novels that have been released recently, so you can get an idea of the sort of product people expect to see:
-X-Note
-The Royal Trap
-Always Remember Me
-Dandelion
-Scheherazade

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