Lemma Soft Forums

Determined to do something different, and leave a mark on the school she grew to love, Elisa decides to take matters into her own hands. in Delinquency, Discipline, and Disorder is the story of one Elisa Augustine, a high school senior, as she tries to put in line her schoolmates in a rather unusual setting. "Studies first, romance later." has become her motto of sorts, but that doesn't mean she won't have romance as well, after all, she's expected to live longer than her classmates and do better than everyone else.

Credits

• Logo: iiStarCandy
• Original Character Designs: Otakumi
• Character Sprites: Mark, Yokura, Caystar, Aqua
• Character Clothing/Fashion: kairunotabi
• Backgrounds: Uncle Mugen, Eia-sama, Gryphus01
• Background Rework: Oujibird

Ooooh~ Cute art! ^^
Hmm... the GUI design... I think you should make the font a bit bigger (the dialogue boxes seem a little too spacious).
Also, you might want to re-think about the transparency of the window that displays the character's profiling. It's a bit annoying when it's right on top of the character sprite. It's a little hard to read. ^^;;;
Oh! I like Erich by the way... = u = Hehe. I like meganes...

I don't usually like dating sims, but the art appeals to me so I may give this a try.
Though I hope you don't mind if I point out a few things.
Mike's sprite looks a bit weird to me in the screenshots. It's like he was stretched horizontally. Of course, I'm not a professional artist by any means so I doubt my comments about the art mean much, but that particular pose just looks slightly odd to me.

Second, I don't really like the GUI... it's very plain. Sometimes simple works well, but it has to be done well. On the second screenshot, all that text is hard to read. You might want to up the opacity of the box because it's difficult to read against the background/sprite.
Also, it's a big pet peeve of mine when a game is in widescreen format and the textbox stretches across the entire screen. It looks a lot better when the textbox is less wide and the text is closer to the center of the screen, so that the reader's eyes don't have to go back and forth, straining them. I've heard that about 10-12 words per line is best for easy reading.
The font is also very small and hardly readable, especially the buttons on the bottom right (I hardly noticed them). And again, you should up the opacity because it's very difficult to read small text against a busy background.

Here's an example of a visual novel, in widescreen format, with a very simple GUI that works well. Notice that the text starts closer to the center so not to strain the eyes, and even though the opacity is low, the text itself is large and has an outline to make it easier to read. I think you could do something similar to this easily if you want to keep it simple ^^

I hope I don't seem too nitpicky! I like the art overall and the fact that it's a dating sim not set in Japan. Plus, the fighting aspect seems interesting. I hope it isn't too hard, though >_< Good luck!

@eingelle:
I'll try using a totally opaque window ~ and having the inforscreen appear more "natural"

@teacup
~ thanks, I'll adjust the padding, and the font size.
and I'll post Mike's sprite set so you can review it further. the sprites were originally 2000px tall. I made it appear smaller with the im.Scale function..

UPDATE:


here are the characters "drawn" side by side.

Nice! There's even a Finnish girl in the roster, with an actual Finnish name (well, at least the surname is.) Since the GUI already received comments, ill just give my basic piece of mind.
The chara's look neat, and I like the option of playing as all six charas, something you almost never see. Still, 50 000 words sounds awfully short. (For a comparison, I find that one of my character arcs is usually around 10 000 words and I'm still behind the 'wordiest' writers. Here, the total number of arcs is 6 x 3 = 18... Well, I hope you'll still find a way to bring something unique to each romance.) Lastly, got to wonder how the futuristic year count will show in the world of dis game...

desulishor wrote:Nice! There's even a Finnish girl in the roster, with an actual Finnish name (well, at least the surname is.) Since the GUI already received comments, ill just give my basic piece of mind.
The chara's look neat, and I like the option of playing as all six charas, something you almost never see. Still, 50 000 words sounds awfully short. (For a comparison, I find that one of my character arcs is usually around 10 000 words and I'm still behind the 'wordiest' writers. Here, the total number of arcs is 6 x 3 = 18... Well, I hope you'll still find a way to bring something unique to each romance.) Lastly, got to wonder how the futuristic year count will show in the world of dis game...

about the naming, me and my friends essentially gender-bent ourselves. So some of the names might sound foreign to their "declared" nationalities.
I just went out of my way, and searched for a country where these "names" are being used.

:3 / i'll try to make it longer.

thank you for your comments

I love dating sims. And the art looks very good. The shading you did was well done.
My eyes are stuck on Mike and also on Erich.
Is it just me? Or does Mike look a wee fat....
Edit: Nevermind. I just scrolled back up and found out why.
Ehehe. I like how you included all the different nationalities.
By looking at your screenshots, you might want to make the layout less complex and simpler. And a lot more broad, large, and noticeable.
Other than that, I do think that everything else looks fine.
Good luck with completing this.
I'm looking forward to the release!
Hurrah!~♥

I kinda agree with Eingelle and Teacup about the GUI, hopefully you can fix it ! No complain about the other stuff, everything looks awesome!

I'm a bit worry about the number of romancable characters though ... well, if you have a hard time with the project, don't hesitate to reduce the number of romancable characters (3 characters is already good enough most of the time).

Elisa's not so cool weapons. (C) KuroZero
... These weapons are also used by my other game "Kigen no Monogatari".

@EroBatan:
Well the writing part is okay I can brag about it To be honest, the hard part is the GUI XD
well I'm still dealing with it as we speak, + a new character placement test.

SHAMELESS BUMPING ~
everything's going on fine, got a new artist for the rest of the sprites, GUI is being edited back and forth from lake vostok, ~ getting more irl experience for the script. ~

Pst I looked up those coordinates and its in Antarctica. I think its interesting. but besides that i think hte game will be fun to play so cant wait for it to come out.

Kikaharu wrote:Pst I looked up those coordinates and its in Antarctica. I think its interesting. but besides that i think hte game will be fun to play so cant wait for it to come out.

welp expect a total lack of sunlight on this game. hehehehehe... anyway that's the general "floor-plan" of the city-state... the center star-thingy is a fortress.

A little background:

Concordia Research Station, which opened in 2005, is a research facility that was built 3,233 m above sea level at a location called Dome C on the Antarctic Plateau, Antarctica. It is located 1,100 km inland from the French research station at Dumont D'Urville, 1,100 kilometres inland from Australia's Casey Station and 1,200 kilometres inland from the Italian Zucchelli Station at Terra Nova Bay. Russia's Vostok Station is 560 kilometres away. The Geographic South Pole is 1670 kilometres away. The facility is also located within Australia's claim on Antarctica, the Australian Antarctic Territory.

-wikipedia

Oh I like the sound of this game, I'll be watching the progress! ^_^

Junesong wrote:Oh I like the sound of this game, I'll be watching the progress! ^_^

well, thank you. :3

Anyway, updated the first post to reflect the recent character redesigns and stuff. Please do give feedback on the User Interface.

While I like the premise of the game, I'm sort of confused on one thing. In the summary, it seems as though the winter setting has a large part in the story's development. But...I'm not exactly seeing it in the production? This is a giant city locked in "ice sheets and snowstorms", right? Why are the students wearing light clothes and mini-skirts? One of the screenshot backgrounds look as though it's summer. Doesn't that mean that the city domes have a locked environment and the outside climate has no impact on what's going on inside? I think "eternal winter" themed uniforms might be cool, or even how students would traverse the blizzard to travel from one dome to the other. It seems kind of like a missed opportunity to me.