Athena [sci-fi, short, female protagonist]

[Hazel-Bun]

Arachni's writing, soft-Sci-Fi with nice art to boot AND cool GUI?

Count me playing when this comes out xD!

[Clayton Barnett]

I'd say it's 3-4 on Mohs Scale of Science Fiction Hardness. There exists FTL travel and some advanced technologies, but nothing too wild.

As someone raised on Niven/Pournelle 'hard' SF, and, as you say, this is character driven, I look forward to the awesomeness. I've spent part of the last six months driving my illustrator insane with my lectures about how 'magic' is just misunderstood technology (Clarke's Third Law), the contrapositive being that bad tech is just magic.

Sounds interesting and looks great. You've my best thoughts and prayers! Good luck!

[Auro-Cyanide]

When I take on a small game I usually have a sub goal along with, well, actually getting the game made. I usually use this sub goal to focus on smaller aspects of the art so I can learn them, which I personally find more efficient than trying to learn everything all at once.

For Culina it was perspective and backgrounds, for Witch/Knight it was GUI and for Athena it is characterisation through poses. Since there are only 4 characters and they all have the one outfit, now is a good time to really stretch myself with trying out dynamic poses. I haven't really done it before so no doubt it's going to be a bit of a learning curve, but I think learning it will make me a better artist for visual novels. My future self will probably regret this decision, so future self: Suck it up, you need to learn this. These are only sketches for purpose of experimentation, so stuff will change. Plus, Eliana is a side sprite which is why I only sketched her waist up.

[LateWhiteRabbit]

These are only sketches for purpose of experimentation, so stuff will change.

These are very nice, and well done like your usual stuff, but if you are truly wanting to work on conveying emotions through poses, you could really stand to push it more. Exaggeration is key, especially when working in a still medium like ours. Everything generally reads better if you push it beyond realistic poses, and consider action lines and silhouettes.

The last pose is the only one I see reaching that level. The rest are conservative, and don't read well in silhouette. They are "closed off" and you can't tell what the character is doing from just the silhouette itself. This image demonstrates the principle very well. In both poses, Jiminy Cricket is eating an ice cream cone, but the top one immediately reads better at a glance, and conveys more energy and information, even though the character is doing the exact same thing as in the bottom image.

Mostly, don't be afraid to twist and turn the body. Yes, we are working in a medium that is traditionally done with a more first person perspective, but treat it like stage actors do an audience. For those who don't have theater experience, this means staying open to the audience with your movements, and never turning your back on the audience, and turning towards the audience when changing direction, and always leading off with the rear stage foot when crossing. You never turn completely away, but it give a huge range of movement and postures. Treat your characters like stage actors, and the player as the front row.

In the current poses, you seem to be consciously or unconsciously going to great lengths to keep the chest facing forward at all times. It makes the poses read as more stiff than they should. You want your characters acting with their whole bodies, not just their arms and head.

Hope you don't mind the critique - like I said, your stuff is good, just thought I'd chime in since you mentioned this was a practice goal of yours on the project.

[Auro-Cyanide]

These are only sketches for purpose of experimentation, so stuff will change.

These are very nice, and well done like your usual stuff, but if you are truly wanting to work on conveying emotions through poses, you could really stand to push it more. Exaggeration is key, especially when working in a still medium like ours. Everything generally reads better if you push it beyond realistic poses, and consider action lines and silhouettes.

The last pose is the only one I see reaching that level. The rest are conservative, and don't read well in silhouette. They are "closed off" and you can't tell what the character is doing from just the silhouette itself. This image demonstrates the principle very well. In both poses, Jiminy Cricket is eating an ice cream cone, but the top one immediately reads better at a glance, and conveys more energy and information, even though the character is doing the exact same thing as in the bottom image.

Mostly, don't be afraid to twist and turn the body. Yes, we are working in a medium that is traditionally done with a more first person perspective, but treat it like stage actors do an audience. For those who don't have theater experience, this means staying open to the audience with your movements, and never turning your back on the audience, and turning towards the audience when changing direction, and always leading off with the rear stage foot when crossing. You never turn completely away, but it give a huge range of movement and postures. Treat your characters like stage actors, and the player as the front row.

In the current poses, you seem to be consciously or unconsciously going to great lengths to keep the chest facing forward at all times. It makes the poses read as more stiff than they should. You want your characters acting with their whole bodies, not just their arms and head.

Hope you don't mind the critique - like I said, your stuff is good, just thought I'd chime in since you mentioned this was a practice goal of yours on the project.

Yeah, I understand ^_^ I think the thing holding me back with Eliana is she is going to be a side sprite, so only her... elbows up is going to be seen. I have less problems imagining Remi or Owen turning more, since they aren't the POV characters? I had some original sketches where she used her arms more, but it didn't quite suit her personality. She is very closed off and reserved for most of the story, with small bubbles of more emotional conduct (bottom two). From what Archani has said she is writing, she imagines her kind of like Yuki Nagato or Seven of Nine but not quite that subtle. For her I think even subtle movement like chin up or down would mean a lot for her. Michael on the hand, I imagine him waving his hands a round A LOT. I'll try being more expressive with the other guys and see how I go And I agree I think at least 2 and 4 could have a bit more something.

[Anna]

I think I agree with Auro on that it depends on personality how dynamic poses should be - for some characters too much exaggeration just doesn't fit. It also depends on your type of story.

Still, it's really nice to see you're trying out poses - I think they add a lot and look cool too :D!

[Auro-Cyanide]

I think I associate big movement with 'loudness' and small movements with 'quietness'. So I think characters with big loud personalities should have more extreme poses than those with more timid or quite personalities?

Thanks Anna I remember our conversation about this like a year ago. It stuck with me a lot what you said, though I think I needed time before I was ready to try and tackle poses. And I still baulk at doing multiple poses with multiple outfits XD But oh well, I have to start somewhere and practice!

These are some more pose sketches~

[Giovedi]

Mother of god, your GUI is beautiful. That must have been so painful to program.

Delicious art, too. I'm followin' this.

[arachni42]

Just so people know, the draft is getting close to 22k (out of an estimated total of 30k). If anybody's interested in being an editor, PM me. Most of it's not ready for editing yet because it's not written in chronological order, but I thought I'd go ahead and send out the call.

Edit: Just to clarify, I say "editor" rather than "proofreader" because I'm hoping to get feedback on things going beyond grammar/typos: wording, characterization, voice, mood, etc. So that, you know, if the characters seem like happy or something, I have time to change it.

[Auro-Cyanide]

@Giovedi, Thank you But it isn't programmed yet. From working with Camille though, I don't think I did any thing impossible design wise. I personally can not program to save my life so I rely on others for that ^_^;

More poses, this time for Remi. He is a character who has a 'louder' personality so I tried to do as LWR said and make his movements more exaggerated. These are still loose sketches since I've been working with Arachni to make sure the poses are workable with what she is writing

[deviltales]

he looks great *_*.

[Auro-Cyanide]

@Deviltales, Thank you ^_^

Was working on Owen tonight. Enjoy my insanely rough sketches.



And



Because amour >:(

I'm still… trying to work it out. And what I want it to look like. And how people move in it. And what I want him to look like in general.

The upside is I originally had a lot of trouble thinking of him doing anything even vaguely expressive, but thanks to Arachni writing some scenes I started to get a much better picture of what might be good \(^_^)/

[arachni42]

The upside is I originally had a lot of trouble thinking of him doing anything even vaguely expressive, but thanks to Arachni writing some scenes I started to get a much better picture of what might be good \(^_^)/

Ah, well, you know how those introverts are. They're very... introverted. But nice when you get to know them. Maybe.

I have written some character summaries! Well, actually, I made the characters write them themselves.

Rémi: Huh? I have to write my own biography?
Capt. Callahan: Mr. Sadik, who else do you think would write it?
Rémi: I dunno, I always imagined some sort of marketing person or something. And it’s not Mr Sadik. It’s Rémi.
Capt. Callahan: Mr. Rémi, I am certain that if there were an employee who specialized in public relations, they would be more than happy to write your marketing copy for you. Unfortunately this is a small project and there is no such person.
Rémi: Ugh, fine.
Rémi: Rémi Sadik is a delivery guy, and he was making a delivery to this place that was apparently a research facility, and he seems to have had the worst timing ever because he landed in the middle of a disaster and got locked in. Um, let’s see. He is a B.A. in music with a minor in philosophy. YES, he knows those aren’t very practical, but listen, he really wanted to have the full college experience including making his own choices! And he wants you to know that there are a lot of employers who don’t care what degree you get as long as you have a degree, and—
Capt. Callahan: Mr. Rémi, is this honestly relevant?
Rémi: I don’t know how to write these things!
Capt. Callahan: Just wrap it up.
Rémi: Rémi enjoys fun, long walks on the beach, and whatever else it is that people always put on their profiles, and the only thing he dislikes more than copywriting is resume writing.
Rémi: Your turn!!
Capt. Callahan: Capt. Owen Callahan is an officer of the Strategic Intelligence Corps of the Intraterrestrial Force. He was told to investigate the facility at Alpha-281 pursuant to Code 503, Section 7 due to interruption in communications—
Rémi: Really? This is your “marketing copy?” Really??
Capt. Callahan: …
Capt. Callahan: Very well…
Capt. Callahan: IN A WORLD… OF CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION (but mostly normal daily life)… ONE MAN … RISKS IT ALL. Owen Callahan is a bright young captain. On Friday afternoon he is ordered to give tech support to a facility that lost its Internet connection. But now… he’s about to find out… that nothing is that simple!
Rémi: …
Capt. Callahan: Contrary to your assumptions, Mr. Rémi, I am, in fact, capable of levity.
Rémi: Jesus, people are going to think this is a parody.
Capt. Callahan is looking at her now.
Eliana: Eliana Porter has been at this research facility for five years. Her mission: to pioneer strategic innovations at the forefront of artificial intelligence technology.
Capt. Callahan: Ms. Porter, would you mind being more specific?
Eliana: I would mind.
Capt. Callahan sighs.
Capt. Callahan: Ms. Porter, would you please be more specific?
Eliana: No.
Capt. Callahan: …
Capt. Callahan: Ms. Porter, keep in mind that you are the protagonist. It is not recommended that you be a silent protagonist.
Eliana: I have not been silent.
Capt. Callahan: Let’s move on…
Michael: Hi. I’m Michael Key. I’m dead.
Capt. Callahan and Rémi both look at him in an appalled manner.
Michael: What? You want me to put it in a spoiler tag or something? You practically find out right away! It’s like one of those First Episode Spoilers!
Capt. Callahan: Mr. Key, this is not an episodic story.
Michael: Whatever. You first meet me in a flashback. A flashback. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. What more do you want??
Michael: I have to admit that I’m pretty bored for someone who’s dead. Oh well, what can you do? Oh, right, marketing copy.
Michael: Everyone should play our visual novel! After all, I’m in it, and I’m Australian! You never get to see Australians in visual novels! Er… mate. Man, do I have to say “mate” to convince everyone I’m Australian? LAME. In fact, I refuse!
Michael: In fact, I won’t use the word “mate” at all. You won’t even hear me talking about “mating” birds or “mating” bees. The word “consort” is a perfectly good one and this “mate” business is not necessary!
Michael: Anyway, that covers all four of us. I hope you’re excited, because I am!

[Auro-Cyanide]

And Michael's poses, the, ah, dead one...



That's all of them now, so I can actually start on the sprites now and hopefully start fixing all the stuff that's wrong orz

Also, listening/watching to this (Wolf Children Spoilers) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcJ80cd0gG4 and drowning in a puddle of tears on the floor.

[CheeryMoya]

Michael: Hi. I’m Michael Key. I’m dead.

GDI why the megane

Everyone seems pretty cool, I like their interactions so far. Just curious: how many routes/endings are there?