Lemma Soft Forums

This is my first kinetic novel.. or my first game at all. It is a scientific -fiction, and romance. A drama with the typical "boy meets girl". I didn't want to make a fool of myself so I went for the safe way and started this project for a KN.

Since it is my first, don't expect many great things. So far I am going slow on writing because of pure laziness. This thread is here for various reasons, one is your opinion on the story, and as a reminder or status updates. I would like to know if what anyone would like to see in the story since it is going to have sci-fi elements here and there. It's not supposed to be a heavy story, just something simple, nothing too complicated.
I don't have any deadlines set, it's going to be something to be done in everybody's free time.

Current status: (06/08)
Welcome Mishima! Our musical composer!

Team:
Script - MegaTuga
Editor - _Shiro_
Sprite artist - ptngan1311
Programmer - Kato
Composer - Mishima



The story:

It is of common knowledge that people have their lives so much easier thanks to recent technology developments such as a city-wide air filter or gadgets that can manipulate and read EM waves. Sometimes it seems like humanity has reached a point in evolution where they can live their lives without any worry.
We follow a young high school student who is fond of the recent hi-tech developments but is also worried about their impact on nature. During a school field trip he finds himself being paired for the assignment with the popular princess of the school, known for being quiet but direct to the point and daughter of a huge hospital company.
He finds it difficult to befriend her but little by little, he feels like he is knowing more and more about her as time passes.

But then, disaster strikes.

On the return trip, the bus almost has an accident. All the students manage to get out but as our protagonists attempt to flee...

The bus falls down a cliff.

Thanks to the protective shield of the bus, both of them manage to survive. But now they are stranded in the middle of nowhere, and they desperately need to find their way back, while not knowing how to live without the aid of technology.

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--Protagonist--
First Name: Geo
Family Name: Kuroki
Age: 16

Hobbies: Searching forums and blogs for the newest technological developments and gossips.

Traits: A rather melancholic boy. He seems to have his head fixed on what he calls "realism" and more down-to-earth philosophies. He thinks of the current society as inactive and uninteresting since everyone is so relaxed after having

their lives made easier thanks to scientific developments.

History: Born in a family of naturalists. His mother is often seen in protests and strikes against hazardous schemes that threaten the mother nature, while his father was once the Minister of Ecology which was forced to leave his cargo to not cause polemic events between his relationship and the government. Despite this environment, their son has grown up to like the new, top of the edge technology. However he still keeps some skepticism, not because of the impact on nature but because on the impact on society.

Appearance: Blond hair, Light Brown eyes. He dresses rather informally and his style varies with blank shirts and jeans. He is not too fond of the Holo-clothes. Which causes his style to be rather mediocre when compared to the more shining and bright colors of the other's clothes.

--Heroine--
First Name: Aoi
Family Name: Hikaru
Age: 16

Hobbies: Apparently nothing, but she likes to play with the AR of her lenses, as well as looking trough landscape pictures.

Traits: She is very popular at school by her beauty, however she never makes any contact with other people unless necessary, this was forced upon her by her parents because they wanted to keep her purity in which she was developed upon birth.

History: Her Parents funded the Hikaru Family Hospital, a rather quiet and mediocre hospital until the scientific boom and the E-Field research. They were marveled by the technology advancements and thus her only daughter was raised in a 100% clean and sterile environment from the fruits of science.

Appearance: Her eyes look to be of a blank and empty gold, however she uses Wave Reader lens, so under the contact lenses, her eyes are actually blue. Her hair is long and deep black. She is slightly shorter for her age however she still looks more mature than most girls of her age. She tends to use pale single-colored clothes but since she uses Holo-wardrobe very often her common clothes are bright and full of messages.

heyhey
I like your story, romance+sci-fi is a great combination!
And wow, are you doing the art yourself? It's adorable! I love how you did the coloring, especially the hair/face area. Although I have a little comment in case you want it: maybe the girl's skirt is too contrasting (= 3 =)' i dont know the exact word since i'm not a pro, but for me it looks that the blue in the skirt is too strong, compared to the purple used in the hair (that seems softer). but but but I'm not saying it is bad!! It looks great even if you leave it like that //º A º//
anyway, good luck!!

also this is my first post in the forum hehe (= v =)

Thanks for your comment xD, actually the arts were done by someone else, and I'm the script editor of 6 days xD.

I can see what you are getting at, and I'm very thankful. We will try to have it fixed ( because there are still some final touching to be done with her sprites ).

For now every comment are very welcome xD, please tell us what you think is needed to change, or what's necessary in the story... and so on.

We will make a demo with what we have as soon as we get a programmer.

Thank you for your support xD.

Thanks for your opinion miwa! By the way, no I was not the artist here. But I wish I would be 3_3 I will be sure to pass on the message, and I have to agree with you. Even like this the characters already look great.

If you liked the sci-fi/romantic combination be sure to stick around because any future stories that I might make (if I am the author of them) will certainly have those elements.

Last but not least, welcome to the forum! I hope you enjoy your stay. Everybody is very friendly around here so I am sure that you won't have any trouble in getting acquainted.

Fixed some small detail for the heroine: Changed eyes color, fixed dress color, introduce some more expressions.
Things have yet to come: Different eyes color set ( due to her contact lenses ), different clothings.

Please give us your opinion so we can improve .

I wonder why they have to find the way back on their own? Even if everybody thought that they were dead they should've still sent some rescue / investigation team.

aaa~ you guys actually changed the skirt color ;-; i'm so sorry for bothering you with that, but...it looks so much better!! I can't find anything wrong with the characters now, and i like the art a lot!

And I thought it was only one person before, but i see you guys are a group : )

Oh by the way, how long is you story going to be? As in number of words?

Anne wrote:I wonder why they have to find the way back on their own? Even if everybody thought that they were dead they should've still sent some rescue / investigation team.

I was wondering when would this question pop up. Rest assured that me and Shiro are working around the plot holes. In fact, during our last discussion we pondered about that issue. Not to mention that the story might change as the script develops.

If you think this answer did not fill your stomach, then let me give you a tip: In this fictional futuristic world, mankind have became too obsessed with the new technology developments that every single person is relying on that same technology to live their lives.

I hope that was a good enough answer for you.

miwa wrote:aaa~ you guys actually changed the skirt color ;-; i'm so sorry for bothering you with that, but...it looks so much better!! I can't find anything wrong with the characters now, and i like the art a lot!

And I thought it was only one person before, but i see you guys are a group : )

Oh by the way, how long is you story going to be? As in number of words?

Of course we would. That is the entire point of this thread. Since we are a bunch of newbies, we want people's opinion in covering the places that we might miss otherwise.

As for length of the story let me say this much: the title is "6 days" because... well... the story happens during 6 days.
Now; It is possible that each day will not have the same text length. But for you to have an idea of how is it going to be, the script for Day 1 is over 7000 words (which includes notes about music, sprite changes and so on).

---

Also, I decided to leave here some concepts for the said objects and terms used in the story for future reference as I work on them. It will spice things up in this thread, as well as giving an idea to everybody on what they should be expecting. Remember that these concepts will play a part in the story but not all of them will be key. Just to leave that out before anyone asks.

Anne wrote:I wonder why they have to find the way back on their own? Even if everybody thought that they were dead they should've still sent some rescue / investigation team.

An interesting question xD, thank you very much. We also saw that issue when we write the script, and the answer is: for some reason ( will be mentioned in the story ), their tracking devices were broken so they can't be tracked easily. And indeed there's a rescue team, but without being able to track their exact location, it's normal for the search to last for days right? Not to mention the location is not a easy one to search around.

I hope that answer is enough for now xD.

@miwa: no it wasn't a problem at all xD, we received your opinion and we want to fix all the errors, we are very grateful.

Update: Different eyes color set. We are still working on a different clothing set, expected to be done in 1-2 days.

The script for the future demo is now complete (Day 1 and Day 2)

Also, because I forgot to say so before, Kato has happily offered his services as Code Programmer of this little project! Thank you Kato!

Update:
- New set of clothings completed.
- Sneak peek at one of the CG xD. ( And the other CGs are even better, but i dont wanna spoil them all )

And with "Day 2" completed we are now really close to a demo, please give us your support xD.

miwa wrote: also this is my first post in the forum hehe (= v =)

this is my first post, too :3
i'm so happy that u liked my art XD
thanks a lotttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

i will try to do it better :3

Looking forward to this little KN ^^ Wish you guys the best!

Thank you Hazel-Bun! Look forward to more!

...
And speaking of that, let me begin by giving out some details about certain aspects and theories that will be featured in the game! (in the final version, this information might be accessible via a menu)

Let's start by something that was referenced in the character's profiles: Holo clothing.

What does it do?
Basically speaking it is a mask that changes the aspect of what you are wearing. Clothing displayed trough holograms, which obviously should not replace real clothes. People use these as a change of style, since the change from one style to another takes less than 3 seconds, everybody can change how they look on the go, for example, after work where you sue formal clothes, you can go directly to a party wearing something more casual. It saves time changing, that's for sure. More advanced versions allow the change of the whole body, restricted by tight security, as it would be easy for a criminal to change the way he looks.

How does it work?
Using a special portable equipment (which will be mentioned later), the user can change the way light rays reflect onto his own self. Colors, forms and other aspects that can be caught by our own vision need light. When light hits on a red object, that object absorbs all colors of the spectrum except red. The Holo clothing bases on this principle by altering or emitting their own light rays, while blocking all light reflected on the real clothing itself. As it should be obvious, you should bear in mind that this is only an optical illusion. In other words, the change is only visual, not physical.

Where have I heard of this?
Avid anime watcher as I am, I feel guilty if I would not say what inspired me.
The "Holo Cosplay" is a feature in "Psycho-Pass", an anime which was aired this year. In there, using holographic projections would allow people to change their looks completely, and even save favorite styles, change the form of your body, etc.

Sci fi is one of my first loves! Will be tracking this. Cute art too. Has a very soft air to it. A few questions:

With nature into consideration, will the story talk about existing issues like melting ice caps and increased air pollution? Has this been tackled during the course of the story? What's the physical, environmental state of their world, technology aside? Often science fiction will feature things like decreased landmass due to melting ice and rising sea levels, and extinction of species, depending on human contact.

If Geo is raised by Naturalist parents, does he himself know enough survival skills to escort the both of them back home and keep them safe? You've mentioned that it's a simple story, so this shouldn't be too much to explain. Just a few references from the protagonist.

I recommend this, if Geo knows a little bit about nature: http://www.wilderness-survival.net/ Good luck.