All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Apocalyptic] [Sci-Fi] [Slice of Life]

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Hazel-Bun
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [Demo] 7

#106 Post by Hazel-Bun »

@Cafechan Thank you very much for the support! I'm also looking forward to your otome game <3 Yeah, I forgot to ask Trina to apply the accent, hence the difference. I'll be sure to have her do so when the full VA work is in the... well... works haha

I'm working on cutting and polishing the narration as well to address that issue! I have a tendency to be very bland or too purple when writing, so I'm working hard to find a happy medium haha

Here's a sample of some more artwork done by euphorics! Writing and music/coding is going alright if not a bit slow. Mostly just me being slow and wrapping up my summer, gearing up for college life. That and work lol Hope to have more to show soon as sprite/BG commissions come next :) Thank you for the 50 downloads once again... (I've said this a lot but it means a lot to me, makes me feel the warm fuzzies you know?)

Luce is taking some time for herself so y'all will have to deal with my attempts to mimic her GUI for now :) That's why I love minimalist GUI's in the first place. I'm going to try and fix up the bonus section next. Then work on a simple inventory and message system in-game for when Melchior and Patch get to Paradigm City, also the camps to a lesser extent. Melchior will need some specific items as well as messages to avoid bad ends as the game progresses.

I'm going to get back in contact with Haze soon for some idea-bouncing as well. Some questions before I go...

1). Do you mind POV flips in VNs? Or prefer the MC conveniently listening in/choices to guide the flow of the dialogue afterwards? I ask this because some scenes in chapter 2 onwards might warrant one of the two.
2). Would you like the option to turn off certain voices? So rather than a yes/no prompt in the preferences screen, it goes "Patch: On or Off? Melchior: On or Off? etc."

Later gators~
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Philosophizing and flower picking under the sun?
Philosophizing and flower picking under the sun?
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [Demo] 8

#107 Post by Hazel-Bun »

Decided to switch to bi-monthly updates (once mid-month and the other near the end) because it's easier that way haha. I'll still update the other pages pretty regularly though but major stuff will come in spurts. Not much to report other than a front page clean up, two new promo reels for Patch, and a fix to the ash effect. Michael finally got back (had computer issues he said) about the music so, expect two new tracks very soon!

A lot of progress has been made with the writing ^^ I'm moving into dorms on the 18th/need to find another job, so that'll lag in a bit so I'm trying to push-push-psuh :D That and my creative muse seems to have come back <3 I think it'll end up being around or above 50,000 words at this rate but, who knows~

Also, new art should be coming semi-soon depending on my paycheck and euphorics time schedule. Hoping to put together a PV thing after that but, I need all the assets first o v o

Seeing as someone asked a while back, and I never answered them properly >>", the first book (Carnation; White which you glimpse in the demo) will be completely free!! As I never intended this project to get so large and expensive *cough*, I never negotiated potential commercial rates for the artwork from euphorics. Music (other than the zero-project tracks) are commissioned, the GUI artist and Trina are down, but yeah, can't really sell it as it's a). My first "major" VN I suppose and, more importantly b). I didn't say it was going to be off the bat.

The other subsequent books will most defiantly be commercial in some way, shape, or form. But, one battle at a time o 3 o"

Small milestones I expect to hit this week...

-Fixing the demo's spelling mistakes
- Planning out the PV
- Trimming/re-arranging the demo text
- Make facebook page Bam, here we go ==> {x}
Larger milestones I expect to hit by October...

- Finishing the first 4 chapters (un-edited)
- Finding a main editor to, well, edit it all
- General implementation of the message system, etc. in game

On a side note, I'm getting the script to my other major project (The Texture Of Love) edited so, that might eat some time as well. That and get my lazy butt shifted into coloring/drawing mode again ughuu

That's all, thanks for reading!
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Finally got it working in the newer version haha
Finally got it working in the newer version haha
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [Demo] 8

#108 Post by Hazel-Bun »

Hello all! I don't have anything pretty to post this week but, I do have a link to the new tracks/full album of AtPF here!

I ended up finishing another chapter so hopefully I can get the first draft complete within the year for Carnation; White. I met my small goals but am still working on the larger ones. I'll edit this post with some, admittedly, drab programming screenshots later on. The inventory system is coming together and I'm also trying to get the bonus/log section working. Thank you cookbook!

Also, revealed the last two profiles ^^

Till next month!
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Fixing up the inventory.
Fixing up the inventory.
I made a little mouse whoot
I made a little mouse whoot
Me attempting to make a message system
Me attempting to make a message system
Last edited by Hazel-Bun on Sat Sep 20, 2014 2:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [Demo] 8

#109 Post by melelisun »

This game looks gorgeous. Very ethereal and experimental feel - great job on the creativity :)
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [Demo] 8

#110 Post by Hazel-Bun »

@melelisun Thank you <3 I'm trying for something weird yet... memorable if that makes any sense haha! Following updates on Lucid 9 via Fuwa and hope to see the male sprites soon :D

Haha so who was suppose to update twice a month now? Well, this month's been pretty hectic and the update has come late unfortunately :( I have to finish up some art for White Fog and The Texture of Love, as well as balance school and a separate project yet to be reveled, but, I have made some progress so I'll show it now :D

Question wise...

I'm re-posting these questions just in case nobody saw them and still wish to answer (o v o)/

1). Do you mind POV flips in VNs? Or prefer the MC conveniently listening in/choices to guide the flow of the dialogue afterwards? I ask this because some scenes in chapter 2 onwards might warrant one of the two.
2). Would you like the option to turn off certain voices? So rather than a yes/no prompt in the preferences screen, it goes "Patch: On or Off? Melchior: On or Off? etc."

Programming wise...

Things are going well! I can't access the internet from my personal computer right now, but the message system and inventory are now (pretty much) functional. I'll post screenshots when I can.

Music wise...

It's complete. I just have one more payment and all the music (original and gathered) for Carnation; White is a go.

GUI wise...

This is taking me a little bit. Basically, I just have to make some small tweaks here and there (excluding the bonus section that's still wonky) but this isn't my forte. Plus, Luce was the one who originally made the GUI hence why editing over top of it is ugh >>"

Art wise...

I'm happy to say that Lumeria's and Benjamin's sprites will be commissioned shortly :D The rest of the CGs and BGs will be taking quite a while though, so stand in images will be used in the mean time.

Script wise...

Good, good, good :) I got the first four arcs done and am now going back to revise, edit, all that good stuff. Here's some chunks from the script to show y'all! Mind you this isn't edited so excuse the mistakes >>"
Murder; Intent; Intentions

End of Act I

<><><>

Act II

Scene I

Day 1: 2081
Complex 49, East of Paradigm City
Borderlands of the New Republic

<><><>
"I am standing at the edge of a void, looking to the west, and all is quiet and peaceful and warm."

"Soldiers are camped there, children really, with shaky palms armed with guns bigger and more vicious than their collective wills to die for their country."

"Fire, a flare, a frenzy of motion, their bodies are now merely verbs in motion, running and kicking, shooting and clawing away from—"

n "What? Some unseen enemy lurks in the shadows. It slowly reveals itself to be the ravenous beast called WAR."

n "A churning is beginning in the pit of my stomach and makes me sick. They are crying and dying and I cannot do anything for them."

? "Atta boy… atta boy… come here now!"

n "Who is calling to me in such a sweet voice?"

? "Melchior… Melchior… why have you returned?"

m "A kid about the same age as… the name escapes me side from an image, of a fragile white carnation being dipped in blood and ash."

n "Who am I trying to return to? Where have I gone?"

? "Tato. Melchior, don't you remember me?"

m "Ta… to?"

"Though I cannot see it, I feel as if he's taunting me, hiding behind his gas mask a little smile full of malice."

m "Who are you?"

t "Who am I? The question you should be asking is why am I here?"

m "What!?"

"The little boy, Tato, is no more. He melts and morphs into nothingness, as if he were a mere mirage. "

"Then it hits me all at once and knocks me to my knees."

"That little boy is dead."

"He, a nameless innocent like all the others. The one I killed that day…"
~*~
<><><>

Fear; Memory; Desires
Arc II

<><><>

Act I

Scene I

Day 2: 2081
No Man's Land, East of Paradigm City
The New Republic

<><><>
m "Que Sera Sera?"

b "Whatever will be will be."

m "Whatever will be will be... what exactly does that mean Benjamin?"

"He stops abruptly under the dim lights cast out from the encampments. He lifts his gaze heavenward and I follow it, as a patrol drone sweeps low and scoops out the premises."

"Closing his eyes, Ben sucks in a long breath. Suddenly, quite violently, he slams his fist into the wall."

b "It means no one knows the future, and there's no point in worrying about it. You shape tomorrow by doing what needs to be done today."

m "I see..."

b "Melchior?"

m "Yes?"

b "Please do me a favor and shut up now. You have a way of speaking that makes me want to bash your teeth into the back of your skull."

m "Ah."

"For the rest of the night I stayed silent and contemplated all that had been said."

"Who do we fight for, why do we die? What brings grown men to tears one day and to take up arms the next?"

"We stalked No Man's Land with heavy hearts and hungry stomachs, aimless and all at once driven by a higher calling written in blood..."
~*~
m "My name is— AH!"

"I turn and lightly smack Patch's hand away, as she digs her nails into my leg."

"Fear radiates from her as she cowers before this man. No, not any man, a high ranking solider of the Republic."

s "Your name, stranger. Or, preferably, your identification number and purpose trespassing or government owned property."

m ". . ."

"His men shift around him and the Commander's eyes narrow. I have no identification number for I am not a citizen of these parts, nor this country. And, I get the feeling he knows this all to well."

"Convinced this Commander Sparks would not be up for anymore games, I tell him my name is…"

Choice x:
"Dr. Lovelace, Sir."
"Melchior X2X."
"None of his concern?"
~*~
p "Appreciated, huh?"

m "Yes. It's nice to just sit back and enjoy the beauty of something unique, don't you think?"

p "I'm startin to think ev'rybody just wants ta be appreciated... loved. Feel like they're worth somethin' ta somebody out there."

p "Our leader gave me that, and Big Brother Ben. Then Lumeria. Then my friends…"

m "Gave you what?"

p "A... Acceptance? Love. That feelin' of bein' appreciated and all."

m "Hmmm..."

"Patch plucks what she believes is a "dainty flower" from the ground."

p "Has anybody e'vr made you feel special Mista...?"

m "Yes. Once, but it was long time ago and that person is dead."

p "Genesis?"

m "Yes..."

p "Oh... I see."

"I smile, turning just in time to catch the tears building in her eyes before she wipes them away."

m "You shouldn't hang around me so much."

p "Why's that!!?"

m "Because, my mannerisms and speech patterns are starting to rub off on you. And, that's not good. You're... fun to be around, and I'm just a-a..."

p "Drag?"

m "...Yup. You know, Patch, you're my only friend. I don't want you to become lost in my sadness, it's too great for you to hold. It isn't your duty to protect me honestly speaking."

"A goofy grin explodes on her face and I don't understand why."

p "I feel real special knowin I'm yer only friend. And, I'll try real real hard to make sure I'm a good one!"

"She lift the flower she's been twirling in between her fingertips. I didn't have the heart to tell her it was just a weed."

"Patch places it right in line with the sun… breaths in, then pushes out a big gust of air that sends the seeds swirling out, to pollinate and infest elsewhere."

p "Isn't it pretty?"

m "The sun set is."

p "And, the flowers too. Don't forget all the pretty flowers. Sometimes ya gotta just search for something beautiful in all the ugliness, ya know?"

m "Hmph. When did you become so philosophical, Patch? I've been a corrupting influence, my my my."

p "Philly-what? Become Philly-who?"

m ". . .Nevermind. Let's just soak it all in."
~*~
p "Them? They're the Men in White."

m "What is their job?"

"Patch's brother shifts uncomfortably and, her eyes cloud over. A tinge of grief is in their depths before it's quickly extinguished, replaced by a small smile."

p "To help us..."

"I regret asking the question. Lumeria darts out of the small room and Patch quickly scampers after. I'm left Ben and my own thoughts, as he takes a seat on the ground."

b "CPPG."

b "They're apart of the Committee of Public Preservation and Glory. CPPG. The Men in White are apart of that committe."

m "...What do they do?"

"He takes his finger and draws that eyes symbol we saw scrawled on the streets once again."

m "The Eternal Vanguards?"

b "Welcome, brother, to the revolution."

m "Again, what are you talking about? And, who are the Men in White."

b "They cull the sick, lame, handicapped, old and feeble. They're angels of mercy in a savage world, at least, that's the propaganda they keep pushing."

b "The reality of the situation is much different. Their agenda is simple, rid the plains of the Outliers and silence any opposition toward Our Dear Leader."

b "To create a true Utopia, you can't have people that don't fit into the picture."

m "So, you're saying your apart of a resistance movement?"

b "Correct."

m "And, I'm now apart of it?"

b "Bingo, darlin', it took you long enough to figure it out."

m "Who says I ever agreed to become apart of something like that?"

b "I did, the second I realized who you are. Or, should I say, who you aren't?"

m "...You're speaking in riddles again."

b "I know! Isn't it bothersome to hear how annoying you sound 24/7? Hmm..."

"He laughs coolly and takes a drink in one long sip. I stare into my own glass and shudder, knowing my indentity has been breached..."
Later! And, by later I mean a couple of days hopefully >>"
Last edited by Hazel-Bun on Sun Sep 21, 2014 8:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [Demo] 9

#111 Post by Haze »

An update! It's good to hear that everything is going well. :D
Hazel-Bun wrote:1). Do you mind POV flips in VNs? Or prefer the MC conveniently listening in/choices to guide the flow of the dialogue afterwards? I ask this because some scenes in chapter 2 onwards might warrant one of the two.
POV flips are not bad as long as they're done well. Have a natural transition from one character to the other. Please don't have sudden change in POV that makes the reader say "Wait, who's talking now?". The reader needs to know who's talking at all times.

Of course, if by "POV change" you mean changing from 1st person to 2nd or 3rd person, and not a change in who is talking in 1st person(ie from Patch to Melchior), then I think it's fine. I would suggest only changing from 1st to 3rd person, though. Don't change to 2nd; I think that could turn out a little too weirdly.
Hazel-Bun wrote:2). Would you like the option to turn off certain voices? So rather than a yes/no prompt in the preferences screen, it goes "Patch: On or Off? Melchior: On or Off? etc."
Yes; that would be very helpful. Just make sure to make the option clear. "Patch: On or Off? Melchior: On or Off?" might make the reader say "Um...what on or off?"

By the way...
Hazel-Bun wrote:I'm going to get back in contact with Haze soon for some idea-bouncing as well.
Just saw this. Looking forward to it!
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [Demo] 9

#112 Post by Hazel-Bun »

@Haze

1). Yeah I meant from one person to another in 1st person. I'll make sure it has adequate build up though! I asked because the second book is told from Patch's POV. And, as book one progresses, things happens in which Patch has to take over telling the story. I agree a 2nd person flip would be kind of out there >>" I've only tried it in CYOA style writing and even then I feel weird.

2). Cool, I'll keep that in mind!

Now that White Fog is done, I will get back to you soon about idea bouncing :D
***
Twice a month? More like updates every two months ahahah~ Had a large transitional period, as well as a load of projects but, now I'm back :) AtPF isn't dead y'all.

Here's some music which rounds out the OST for book one, and part of the rest of the series. I'm hoping to commission original everything for book two and three but, for now, am focusing on getting book one in order.

It'll take me a minute to commission the rest of the art, and the sprite art won't be updated till that artist is free, so I'm focusing my energy on programming and writing. I'm also trying to make a map of sorts and a little bonus screen dedicated to world building. Basically, I'm trying to code a lot of things I don't really know how to so, it's a learning experience haha I'll show off some screenshots once I'm off work/back home for Thanksgiving. I'm already cringing at the errors from my last writing update though...

Also, I made a little banner if anyone wants to use it ;v;b

Till next time!

Happy Thanksgiving my America compatriots; be there for family and friends in these difficult times we're facing.
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Last edited by Hazel-Bun on Thu Nov 27, 2014 7:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [Demo] 1

#113 Post by Rinima »

Wait...
Patch is a girl?
I always assumed she was a boy XD
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [Demo] 1

#114 Post by Hazel-Bun »

@Rinima Haha yeah at first Patch was gender less but, when euphorics sent the sprite, they looked more like a boy. Most people assume Patch is a boy and that's alright :) I've just always envisioned Patch as a girl, so slip at times. In game Patch will be as neutral as possible haha
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [Demo] 1

#115 Post by Rinima »

Haha, fair enough :)
I think the only reason I automatically assumed she was a boy was because of the short hair and it being ginger XD (all females I know with ginger hair have long hair and all males I know with ginger hair have short hair, ergo, the assumption XD)

Anyway, forgot to ask, but it safe to presume that this will be commercial since you seem to be spending money on it and the high quality?
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [Demo] 1

#116 Post by Hazel-Bun »

@Rinima Fair enough assumption and one I'd make ;D Actually, for now, the first book (aka Carnation; White) is planned to be a free release. Depending on me acquiring the license for the fonts sooner rather than later, and a host of other things related to paying artist, it might become a pay-what-you want above $3-5 and the subsequent books are planned to be about $15 dollars a pop.

That's down the road though haha; I'm still trying to get Book One written and functioning before anything else! I'll try to make it the best it can be, and outsource the rest. As the saying goes, you have to spend money to make money lol
<><><>
And, a little update so this isn't just a dull bump. Here's a link to the bonus menus in progress :D I'm finally fixing everything up! Text history and the ash effect are no longer functioning but, I'm not sure if it's because of me updating ren'py itself... Otherwise, coding is slow but steady! I'm not that great at it aaaaah- I'm also thinking of adding Carnation; White to the main menu, and making little images for this thread to make it prettier, and took some screen shots of the inventory and broken message system up till now.

Bless the cookbook y'all! After everything is working, I'm going to make the encyclopedia/inventory/text history will be little icons near the top. The rest of the buttons will stay text but, will darken up.

Something in the way of a major writing update will be coming late January/early February as well :D I'm excited to be over this writers block of mine!

Till next time!
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [Demo] 1

#117 Post by Googaboga »

Everything is looking really nice ^^. The bonus menu is super neat.
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [Demo] 2

#118 Post by Hazel-Bun »

@Googaboga Thanks! I spruced up the opening post a bit. I also pretty much finished the first draft of book one :) I'll work to a functioning build in May for the public again :-) Or, it might be closed this time because it's more so to test my buggy code haha

Going away for the next two weekends so, I'll post some videos and screenshots later this month. I'm planning to do NaNo with a friend (if I can claim that title haha more like idol) from the forums and, am devoting most of my energy to the release of A Simple Act that you can check out below. Later gators!
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [Demo] 2

#119 Post by Hazel-Bun »

Hello all!

Exciting news. A new artist named Syerya might be on board :) that and I'm going to be working towards a private build by the end of July. If you'd like to come on board to test/review the writing, let me know! I'll be creating a google form for feedback soon, once I get the front page fixed (all the info is pretty much outdated/doesn't look very pretty), and work done.

I'll be doing Public Domian Jam again with Haze so that'll take some time, among other things, but AtPF lives haha
Black bookstore owner. Diverse fiction reviewer. Bestselling romance author. Award-winning fiction editor. Quite possibly a werewolf, ask me during the next full moon.

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Hazel-Bun
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [Demo] [

#120 Post by Hazel-Bun »

Just a preview of the new sprites being commissioned. I've finally outlined AtPF in its entirety (loosely for Book 2 and 3 though), and am slowly revising Book 1. I am excited to showcase a new demo after so many months with the new music, art, and writing that has (hopefully) improved and is more engaging. That said, all of that will be in an official website post once it's altogether.
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Black bookstore owner. Diverse fiction reviewer. Bestselling romance author. Award-winning fiction editor. Quite possibly a werewolf, ask me during the next full moon.

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