All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Apocalyptic] [Sci-Fi] [Slice of Life]

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Amiralo
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [5/6]

#91 Post by Amiralo » Sun May 11, 2014 10:24 pm

Your sprite artist is awesome. Just saying.
And this look like a very grand project. I especially like the fact that it features a non related adult and child. Should be touching to read.
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [5/6]

#92 Post by Hazel-Bun » Sat May 17, 2014 6:29 pm

@Amiralo Thanks man, I'm sure euphorics apprecites it! I hope it is haha It shaped up to be much, much larger and... "deeper" in scope then the 3K short story I wrote a little over two years ago, that's for sure.

Here's some more screenshots of new text. I'm hoping to have a new, playable demo up by June. It won't be the full... demo yet. Only up to the first choice, not polished/voiced, all that jazz.

Link to the development blog if you want to stay updated in the mean time!

Now I'm off to go edit some text for Googabooga~
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [5/17]

#93 Post by Nay » Sun May 18, 2014 9:43 am

i've been looking at this thread for a while and i really love the sound of it. cute kid and man, talking about discretions of life and figuring out what it's about. cool as hell!! i'm glad to see there's steady progress.

your va samples are totally great as well www

i hope this doesn't sound rude, but i'm hoping you guys will have written the revelations humbly as opposed to pretentious because a lot of thoughts about life stories tend to veer off in that direction! i'm really excited about this vn!

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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [5/17]

#94 Post by Hazel-Bun » Tue May 27, 2014 11:17 pm

@Nay Thanks man, it's always great to hear people are watching and looking forward to updates <3 Keeps my motivation up! Haaa thank the VA's hehe I'll have to replace The Man VA because he's busy and, once the script is finalized, I'm looking into full voice acting so that'll be a whole 'nother beast in of itself.

That's not rude at all and a very good point ;o; Seeing as I'm writing this solo as of now, I take all the blame if it comes off that way. It's been my struggle from the start because the original story/script was much... different and I have a hard time writing the Man's character in general. The overall life themes are simple... I hope humble, but the way he puts things is rather blurgh- *spits up dictionary* Hopefully, when the new characters come in, it evens out.

SPEAK OF THE DEVIL- Whelp, the GUI artist just got in touch with me so boom, bam, swaggie-- *is shot*. Things are looking on the up and up ;v;b

The full update is located out CScribes website but, just wanted to let y'all know a tentative new beta-demo release is set for June 20th. I'll be sprucing up the main post as that date gets closer. More bios revealed for tonight.

Here, have a pretty new splash screen with the alt. logo, and a not so pretty concept collage I drew in prehistoric times when euphorics was first drawing the CGs in the meantime.
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [New Dem

#95 Post by Hazel-Bun » Sat Jun 21, 2014 8:52 pm

New demo links are now up ^^ Thank you for all of your support. If you run into any problems, please contact me through PM, email, a tweet, a message on tumblr, etc. etc.

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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [New Dem

#96 Post by Rinima » Sun Jun 22, 2014 1:54 pm

Errors, errors everywhere XD
Very interesting layout though, I'm enjoying this~
Pronouns: They/them or He/him

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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [New Dem

#97 Post by Hazel-Bun » Sun Jun 22, 2014 3:35 pm

@Rinima Just screenshot them or send me the tracebacks and I'll fix them right away, okay?

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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [New Dem

#98 Post by Starshine » Mon Jun 23, 2014 3:42 am

Downloading demo now, i'll be sure to give you some feedback. :lol:
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I'm not resting until I find
What would make your eyes
Glisten like mine
With loves divine!

Boo-Boo I couldn't aspire....to anything...
Higher...than to fill that one desire to make it
My own....Bop-Bop-a-Dop-Boop-Oop-a-Doop honey?

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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [New Dem

#99 Post by aslah » Mon Jun 23, 2014 9:54 am

Everything about this is awesome *O*

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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [New Dem

#100 Post by Hazel-Bun » Tue Jun 24, 2014 11:56 pm

@Starshine Thank you very much for all the support from the start <3 If you encounter any issues, do tell me 'k?

@aslah Much love and welcome to the forums! Glad you like what you see so far ^^

Just wanted to drop in and say I've updated the first post a bit. Also, revealed The Man's name, which is Melchior pronounced 'Mel-Key-Or'. This album has sparked my internal muse (https://soundcloud.com/anitek/anitek-cynical-beings also the credits song in-game) so, writing is going well. I'm still working on Nar8 jam with co but, I should be able to dedicate myself to this project again very soon! Jams have kicked me back into action but, they're too stressful to keep up long term haha.

After some careful consideration, I am going to pursue a full OST and voice acting (at least for the Child, Genesis, and Melchior for now) for AtPF. Melchior will have to be re-casted but all's well aside from that. Had to move some money around and pay for things, hence the delay in ordering the music. Plus, that big scam scare had me wary for a bit haha! I'll also be contacting euphorics to see if I can start commissioning the rest of the art. Staring at the same pics for so long has me going loco...

Other than that, I'm working hard to make this VN something enjoyable to be played ^^
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [New Dem

#101 Post by Starshine » Wed Jun 25, 2014 6:59 am

Well Hazel-Bun i like your art style and the backrounds (The character sprite looks like a part of the backround when he appears)
The world is like a fantasy world... and some kind of war is going on? Although there wasn’t any bombs going off, probably because it’s a fantasy world.

The music gives of a "Final Fantasy" feeling to it, and the voice acting is very little with "Emotions" which will probably save you MB, but does the full game feature more VA? (I actually like that it didn’t have much VA “Emotions seem to work too” it seems you have been playing a lot of RPG’s/VN type games Hazel!)

(Alright I wrote this up while playing yesterday and copied & pasted so i just read below and you are going to do full VA, well that answered my question)

Patch's voice is perfection, as such by Trina/RawkittyPanda aka "Stephanie Mo" who does justice to cute voices for "young" characters. I'm not sure who does the vocal for Melchior as i have no idea who did the role but his voice really suits the character role.
As i have heard Patch is genderless and can be either male and female? as i seen the character kissing Melchior on the forehead. (I presume)
Melchior must be first person view as there doesn't seem to be any sprites of him, although he seems to appear in the GC artwork and the menus are easy to maneuver back and 4th. I played through the demo a few times on Windows and i did not come across any errors just a white noise sound? or a waterfall? Which I think is part of the game itself.
Pretty Flowers Menu.PNG


Out of curiosity... what was the inspiration for Patch? He says such words as “Ya've Neva”, Bronx or London? Or is it just a child-like dialect.
Yav Neva.PNG
Yav Neva.PNG (2.78 KiB) Viewed 1161 times
While reading through the story, i came across the word (Death) which gives me a feeling that there might be quite a few endings as there is many choices to choose, it reminds me of your short story’s you write.

Also when you have finished are you going to list the game here?: http://vndb.org/
http://berry-melon.blogspot.com
I'm not resting until I find
What would make your eyes
Glisten like mine
With loves divine!

Boo-Boo I couldn't aspire....to anything...
Higher...than to fill that one desire to make it
My own....Bop-Bop-a-Dop-Boop-Oop-a-Doop honey?

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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [New Dem

#102 Post by fioricca » Sat Jun 28, 2014 6:02 am

I just played this and I have to say that I'm very impressed by the presentation! I love the simple and minimalistic title screen that leads you to focus on only the key points. It made transitioning into new screens awesome, too, and I love the different types of narrative screens you used -- regular ADV, and lots of pauses and transitions and sounds. Everything worked remarkable well and kept things interesting.

Admittedly, I'm not the brainiest kind of player out there, so Melchior's monologue was confusing to me. I finished the game and I still didn't know what the story was supposed to be about. OTL The narration was very vague and poetic and while I knew that the main theme of this story was war, I didn't understand what happened to Melchior or all of his exchanges with the kid. (I read that you intended for the kid to be a boy or a girl, hence your usage of the pronoun 'they', but I'm not sure why it's important that the child was gender neutral.)

I guess um... it was a pretty VN, but I couldn't follow it at all? I never had the habit of reading a lot though, so it's probably just me.

I'm very fond of the audio in this game. The voice clips were a nice touch, you picked which parts to voice very cleverly and they really carried the mood well. However, they really need to be levelled and adjusted -- the first time they played since I booted up the game, they were really soft so I cranked up my volume, only to have the music blasting later. I turned the volume back down and the voice clips became soft, which made me sad because I would have loved to hear it with greater clarity );

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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [New Dem

#103 Post by Hazel-Bun » Sat Jun 28, 2014 7:04 am

@Starshine & Fioricca

Thank you for playing! I'm hecka tired right now as I'm trying to put a game jam out by Monday, but I'll try to answer in coherent sentences haha!

Yes, I'm planning to do full VA. So far, people seem to like the voices so I'll stick with it. Luce said she'll put in a bar so you can turn it up. Admittedly, I don't really know how to fix it myself without that. Is there a simple program that it can be done in? Glad that it's been well received and the VA's have been wonderful in helping mold my ideas into actual, well voices. Thank the interwebs (other than the original music) for all the nice sounds you heard ;v;

No errors, eh? Maybe Rinma is using Mac or Linux then? Yup, the waterfall/white noise is suppose to be in game and is not an error.

I put up a brief history of the world. It's an alt.Earth so fantasy in a sense but, not completely removed from what we could encounter here. Melchior does speak from first person view though you will see him a lot in CGs and so on if all is payed for goes as planned 'v'/

Patch is modeled after the speaking patterns I grew up around/a lot of embellishment. I guess you could call it some weird hybrid trying to be "country" and "city" at the same time? If it gets too annoying to read though, I can always write it normally/grammatically correct and have it voiced that way... :) Oh, and there's no huge reason Patch is referred to as 'They', etc. other than I wanted to leave it up to the reader. If that seems confusing, I can always just replace it with her?

I think I discussed it with Haze before but, the Republic is pretty egalitarian with it's views on gender roles (is that what you call it) so, it's not like Patch is forced to dress/speak/whatever for survival reasons other than pants are more flexible when you're on the run. I just originally intended for her to look much more femeinie, then people ended thinking Patch was a boy because of the design, and then I kinda switched it to 'they' from there.

Haha yes there will be many endings (well three main ones/one canon or true one) depending on your choices. AtPF's design can pretty much be summed up by the phrase "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Don't get me wrong, they're are good and evil people and forces... but the majority of what happens depends on Melchior's interactions.

Surprisingly enough, this was original a 3,000 short story I wanted to make a liner-ish VN called "The Rose and the Motor". Hence why it reads so similarly to my short story collections. Now it's like my magnum opus when it comes to VNs (I'm very new to developing VNs though xD) and I blame my undisciplined mind.

And, speaking about short story writing, your point is very valid fioricca :0 I'm glad the overall presentation kept you from dropping it (<3<3<3 this really warms my heart because all those comments are what keep me engaged in VNs, the tiny stuff and ease of navigation). I have a tendency to be either too purple or too plain when writing so, pairing Melchior pre-his transformation mid-game with Patch is kind of a... muddled drag to read. I don't want to info dump too much but, I think I'll be adding some changes to the next demo with your thoughts in mind.

As the game progresses and you meet people like Ben and so on, and things fall into place and Melchior starts interacting in a way that doesn't read like a failed Bronte novel. The biggest take aways you need to take from the demo so far (that'll be worked on for the next stab at this):

1). Patch is a refugee and very talkative
2). There is a vague sense of impending doom and outside forces in cho-hoots
3). Melchior doesn't trust either faction & has a lot more going on/for him than he lets on

At least it was pretty and lived up to it's name, I guess ;v;b? *jumps off a cliff*

Yeah. Once it's finished, I'll put it on vndb and the Ren'py game listing page ^^

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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [New Dem

#104 Post by Sayashiro » Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:43 am

I have yet to finish playing the demo (tight schedule these days xD) but I did play a little of it and I really enjoyed it so far. I'll be sure to give you a more detailed response when I'm done playing it, Hazel-bun.
/ Sayaka Mashiro / Voice-Over Artist / Casting Director /
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Re: All the Pretty Flowers [VN] [Friendship, Drama] [New Dem

#105 Post by Hazel-Bun » Sat Jul 19, 2014 12:22 am

@Sayashiro Thanks man! I hope you enjoy it ^^ Glad you're getting work in the mean time!

Just wanted to stop by and give a big thanks to y'all! Demo just hit 50 downloads not to long ago =)

Some small changes have been made so far programming wise. I shifted the ctc icon into the corner and enlarged the text size in general b/c eye strain haha. I've also fixed up text history so it looks nicer/the signature blue is what you see when you click on voiced lines or, hit return. Still trying to figure out how to change the name tags from lime green though...

Art wise, not much done here haha euphorics is busy with school so, when they get back that'll pick up steam.

Music wise, expect two new tracks pretty soon! Micheal Chait will be making the full OST now.

VA wise, still searching for new talent. Once I get a significant portion of the script down/full demo text finished, I'll try and officially recruit new peeps. New testers, idea bouncers, proofreaders, and so on will follow... or come before most likely so they're not voicing messed up lines.

And, finally, here's a little excerpt of the second half of Murder; Intent; Intentions. You meet Lumeria among other things. Writing is progressing slowly but steadily. Move into my new dorm next month, gotta scrap money together, etc. so haven't had time to sit down and just GO! I've been drawing a lot more which is a plus but still.
<><><>
<><><>

Murder; Intent; Intentions

End of Act 1

<><><>

Act 2

Day 1: 2081
Complex 49, East of Paradigm City
Borderlands of the New Republic

<><><>
n "I am standing at the edge of a void, looking to the west. Soldiers are camped there, children really, with shaky palms armed with guns bigger than their heads."

n "Fire, a flare, a frenzy of motion, their bodies are now merely verbs in motion, running and kicking, shooting and clawing away from..."

n "What? Some unseen enemy lurks in the shadows. It is a beast that devours the marrow from the bones jutting out of open wounds."

n "Agony. They're crying out but there is no one left to tend to them."

n "A churning is beginning in the pit of my stomach and it makes me sick. Those children dressed up as soldiers at war are dying, and I cannot do anything for them."

? "Atta boy… atta boy… come here!"

n "A familiar face is before me. A young boy wearing a gas mask, with flesh eaten alive by invisible poison. He's smiling at me, I know, behind that mask so dreadful..."

n "And, that little boy is no more. He is consumed by the fires and burns into little more than ashes, scattered on the winds."

n "That little boy is dead."

n "He, a nameless innocent like all the others. The one I killed that day…"
~*~
p "Melchior? Melchior? Are ya okay!?"

m "Ahh…"

"Patch is shaking me quite roughly as I slowly come out of a nightmare. I hadn't seen it in a long time, hadn't dreamed much at all over the years."

"I fight the urge welling up inside me to just let go and drift back to sleep. It would be easier to do so but, easy solutions often prove to be the least effective in the end."

"Despite my urgent pleas, it, the fog that had consumed my mind and knocked me out, takes over again and my body won't respond to my command."

? "Pat, has he woken up yet?"

p "Not yet but, it looks like he's gonna soon."

? "Alright then, stay away from the windows and pull those curtains in once we get back. They say it's a raid, shootin' in the capitol by those fundamentalist lunatics!"

"I feel my body lifted into the surprisingly strong arms of a women. I don't know why I know it's a women, she doesn't have much of a… chest to speak of. But, I know somewhere deep down inside it is."

"Maybe it's the voice so sweet and dripping in venom all at once? Maybe I'm still dreaming... I don't know and can't summon the will to care."

? "Ups a daisy! Now come and... Pat! Grab his... yeah, that's it... move him. Bam!"

p "Man o'man, Mista yer heavier than ya look! Big Sis where we gonna put'em?"

"A hatch lifts and closes. My body is laid out on a mattress of sorts, lumpy and old, smelling of cheap booze."

"I must have been in the back of some sort of vehicle. If my theory is correct, Patch's Big Brother Ben and this... Big Sis must have some connections. Civilians don't just get their hands on them for free..."

"How else could they have dragged me clear across the desert by themselves…?"

? "They don't know what that black ash is made up of but, it killed a couple people last week-"

p "Killed!?"

? "Calm down! They think it made them sick is all. It's a good thing I showed up when I did… is this the flower man you've been yapping about for days?"

? "The one you don't want Ben knowing about?"

p "His name's Melchior! Mel as in-"

? "Ya, ya, ya. I'm not your teacher, Pat, you don't gotta sound it out for me."

p "Oh, okay. Wait, sssssh! I think he's waking up…!"

"When I open my eyes finally, pushing away the pain radiating throughout my entire body, I can't believe who's face is in front of me."

m "Genesis…!!?"

? "Genna who? What's he talking about Pat?"

p "I-It's his girlfriend."

? "Girlfriend?"

p "She's dead."

? "...Oh. W-Well damn. You think he's hallucinating- I mean seeing things? How much of that black stuff did he huff before I came?"

p "Not a whole lot! He started freakin out before that though, when the sirens went off."

? "Strange. Hey Melcherry or whatever your name is, WAKE UP!"

"She shakes me fairly roughly and I push away from her, staring into their bewildered faces."

m "..."

p "..."

? "..."

m ". . ."

p ". . ."

l ". . .This is awkward."

p "Tell me about it!"

m "Indeed."

l "Might as well get introductions outta the way I suppose... Hiya stranger! The name's Lumeria, and welcome to the gates of Paradise! We don't get to see the inside though."

l "Consider this purgatory, us your family from now on, it's a step up from hell and be glad we didn't leave you for dead out there in the wilderness to fend for yourself."
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Last edited by Hazel-Bun on Sat Jul 19, 2014 1:41 am, edited 2 times in total.

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