Fear&Love [KN][Slice of Life][English, Spanish]

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xavimat
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Fear&Love [KN][Slice of Life][English, Spanish]

#1 Post by xavimat » Tue Oct 01, 2013 10:19 am

Image
Fear&Love
«Why can’t we simply express our feelings?
Why am I afraid to say ‘I love you’?»


STORY:
Fear&Love is a short Kinetic Novel (about 10000 words) about Kino, a boy who is afraid to confess, and Mae, a girl who struggles with her own heart. They try to help a couple of friends (Subare and Zira) with their relationship and have to face an unexpected question: ‘What are your feelings?’ A wave of doubt and fear overwhelms them: ‘What’s he thinking?’ ‘How is she going to react?’ ‘Can we be sure?’ ‘It can’t be so difficult!’

The VN is narrated from different character’s points of view (Kino, Mae, and more), and sometimes presents their thinkings and their words (that, curiously enough, don’t match), with text in different colors.

CHARACTERS:

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- Kino. 17. Athletic. Soccer player. Fair player in sports, very shy with girls. Loves Mae, and doesn’t know how to say it.

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- Mae. 17. Honey-colored eyes. Wants to help her friends. Usually confident, but doesn’t used to look at her feelings.

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- Subare. 17. Former Zira’s boyfriend; he still loves her.

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- Zira. 17. Former Subare’s girldfriend. She has known another boy...

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- Susan. 16. A friend’s cousin. Blonde. Long, long hair. Blue eyes. Cheerful. A little childish. Has a crush on Kino. 90% deaf.

FEATURES:
- Two languages: English, Español.
- Different points of view in narration. With internal thoughts of some characters.
- Text in ADV and NVL mode.
- Sprites from ComiPo!
- Animated Main Menu
- CG Gallery
- Bonus Art (by ug19, nero279 and 15385bic)
- Music room
- Flying puzzle pieces :)

PROGRESS:
- Script:
>> Spanish: 100%
>> English translation 100%
>> English proofreading: 100% (thanks to facadepapergirl, Haze and ferdokki)
>> Editing script: 30%
- BG: 100% (edited pictures)
- Sprites: 100% (from ComiPo!)
- CG: 100%
- Music: 100% (‘Disabled Emotions Suit’, by zero-project)
- Logo: 100% (by amazing iiStarCandy)

MUSIC:
‘Disabled Emotions Suit’, by zero-project: «"Disabled emotions" suite is an album which talks about the feelings that must be "disabled" sometimes in our life. It talks about emotions that have been disabled because it was our choice, or, because we were forced to disable them.» I think it fits well with the story.

WEBPAGE & DOWNLOADS:
http://pilgrim.vnovel.com/fearlove

SCREENSHOTS:

Main Menu:
Image

In game:
Image

Save/Load Screen:
Image

Chapter start:
Image

CG Gallery:
Image

This is my first project in this community. I'll welcome any feedback. Thanks!
Last edited by xavimat on Sat Jan 17, 2015 5:10 pm, edited 6 times in total.
Cops&Robbers A two-player experiment
Fear&Love Why can’t we simply express our feelings? Why am I afraid to say ‘I love you’?
unknown [Sci-Fi - mystery - computer]
Honest Critique (Avatar made with Chibi Maker by ~gen8)

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soraibi
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Re: Fear&Love [KN] [Romance] [Slice of Life] English + Spani

#2 Post by soraibi » Thu Nov 28, 2013 8:19 am

-Downloading game- (^^)

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Re: Fear&Love [KN] [Romance] [Slice of Life] English + Spani

#3 Post by xavimat » Thu Nov 28, 2013 3:49 pm

-Looking forward to hearing your comments! :D
Cops&Robbers A two-player experiment
Fear&Love Why can’t we simply express our feelings? Why am I afraid to say ‘I love you’?
unknown [Sci-Fi - mystery - computer]
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Re: Fear&Love [KN] [Romance] [Slice of Life] English + Spani

#4 Post by KanukoBlue1236 » Fri Nov 29, 2013 12:43 am

downloading! ;)
I love singing, acting, and writing! I love all sorts of games (I can only play windows games tho) even gore and smut (i know, big difference and kinda perverted, but dun judge) I LOVE NIGHTCORE

I don't have a dirty mind, I just have a sexy imagination. ~Linda (mah buddy) 20-something

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Re: Fear&Love [KN] [Romance] [Slice of Life] English + Spani

#5 Post by xavimat » Fri Nov 29, 2013 6:24 am

KanukoBlue1236 wrote:downloading! ;)
Enjoy it! :D
Cops&Robbers A two-player experiment
Fear&Love Why can’t we simply express our feelings? Why am I afraid to say ‘I love you’?
unknown [Sci-Fi - mystery - computer]
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Re: Fear&Love [KN] [Romance] [Slice of Life] English + Spani

#6 Post by soraibi » Tue Dec 03, 2013 6:26 am

So far, the game seems quite slow paced and sometimes I got confused with the relationships between characters (or maybe I'm not that good with small hints lol) but I really love the small animations you did with the sprites and the puzzles in the game, it looked really smooth and awesome in my eyes :D

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xavimat
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Re: Fear&Love [KN] [Romance] [Slice of Life] English + Spani

#7 Post by xavimat » Tue Dec 03, 2013 6:39 am

soraibi wrote:So far, the game seems quite slow paced
Thanks, soraibi!
- The story itself is really short, and mainly the text are thoughts and reflections of the characters, so it's slow.
soraibi wrote:and sometimes I got confused with the relationships between characters (or maybe I'm not that good with small hints lol)
- Yes, I'm afraid there are some plot-jumps that confuse the reader. Can you point out where?
soraibi wrote: but I really love the small animations you did with the sprites and the puzzles in the game, it looked really smooth and awesome in my eyes :D
- Considering that I'm mostly a writer-programmer and not an artist, that means a lot to me, thanks! :D
Cops&Robbers A two-player experiment
Fear&Love Why can’t we simply express our feelings? Why am I afraid to say ‘I love you’?
unknown [Sci-Fi - mystery - computer]
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Re: Fear&Love [KN] [Romance] [Slice of Life] English + Spani

#8 Post by Haze » Tue Dec 03, 2013 9:48 am

Played the whole thing a few days ago, and I like it! The way you had one character go out and on character go in to show who was narrating was quite clever. Also, I really liked how the puzzle filled up as the game went on.

However, everyone seemed to have a vocabulary and way of speaking that seemed too eloquent for high school students. It kinda felt like something out of a Shakespeare play, which...is not what high schoolers should sound like, in my opinion.

Overall, though, you did a pretty good job with this game. I hope you'll be able to find an artist that will take this on!
My first completed visual novel, which is at 1.3, it's final version(woo hoo!): Monster Uses CPU 2
Finally at version 1.0: White Fog
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I make one song every week, all for free download! This weeks song: Synthis- The Mirror(Eliana Remix)[Preview]

You might ask yourself: If I could only save one paragraph of the work I'm writing, which one would I save?
Which one would I let go first?

-from Understanding Rhetoric: A Graphic Guide to Writing by Elizabeth Losh, Johnathan Alexander, Kevin Cannon, and Zander Cannon

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Re: Fear&Love [KN] [Romance] [Slice of Life] English + Spani

#9 Post by xavimat » Tue Dec 03, 2013 2:05 pm

Thanks, Haze! Glad to hear you liked it.
I'm really proud of being compared to Shakespeare! :lol:
You are right about the way of speaking. The Spanish version is the original, and the English is a translation I did ... (I mean, g00gle and I did), partly revised by facadepapergirl. I've had more proofreaders but they went too busy and I decided to release it as a demo. (If you want to correct it, I'd be happy! :roll: ).
The good news are that an artist is interested in it. :D
Cops&Robbers A two-player experiment
Fear&Love Why can’t we simply express our feelings? Why am I afraid to say ‘I love you’?
unknown [Sci-Fi - mystery - computer]
Honest Critique (Avatar made with Chibi Maker by ~gen8)

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Re: Fear&Love [KN] [Romance] [Slice of Life] English + Spani

#10 Post by Ferdokki » Sat Dec 07, 2013 9:40 pm

The game seems very interesting! 8)
I am actually not much of a fan for kinetic novels (I prefer VN's with lots of decision-making), however, I know there is a large fanbase for kinetic novels, and I'm sure you'll get a lot of people interested. :)

LMAO, yeah, Google Translate doesn't translate Spanish correctly (I learned the hard way when I tried cheating on my Spanish class worksheets using Google Translate, and then got some red marks for errors >.<).

Hey, if you need proofreaders, I'd be glad to help out! Although I unsuccessfully tried to cheat in Spanish class, I did manage to learn the language the right way, so I can translate too. :)
But in that case, do you have a written script for the game as a Word or Notepad document?

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Re: Fear&Love [KN] [Romance] [Slice of Life] English + Spani

#11 Post by Haze » Sun Dec 08, 2013 5:48 pm

xavimat wrote:If you want to correct it, I'd be happy! :roll:
Sent you a PM! :D
My first completed visual novel, which is at 1.3, it's final version(woo hoo!): Monster Uses CPU 2
Finally at version 1.0: White Fog
Image

Image

I make one song every week, all for free download! This weeks song: Synthis- The Mirror(Eliana Remix)[Preview]

You might ask yourself: If I could only save one paragraph of the work I'm writing, which one would I save?
Which one would I let go first?

-from Understanding Rhetoric: A Graphic Guide to Writing by Elizabeth Losh, Johnathan Alexander, Kevin Cannon, and Zander Cannon

User avatar
xavimat
Eileen-Class Veteran
Posts: 1336
Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2012 8:45 pm
Completed: Yeshua, Jesus Life, Cops&Robbers
Projects: Fear&Love, unknown
Organization: Pilgrim Creations
Github: xavi-mat
itch: xavimat
Location: Italy
Contact:

Re: Fear&Love [KN] [Romance] [Slice of Life] English + Spani

#12 Post by xavimat » Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:19 pm

Thanks, Ferdokki and Haze. PM sent.

@Ferdokki. I like both, KN and option-based VN. I've enjoyed a lot Ripples, Songs of Araiah and Juniper's Knot. I've chosen to do a Kn because I'm using a text I wrote some years ago as a text story. This is my first VN and I'm using it also to learn (a lot!). I'm making at the same time 'unknown' (an interactive fiction) and more (secret) projects.

The translation with Google was only a base, I've worked a lot over it. But my knowledge of the way of speaking of different kind of characters is inexistent limited (I'm used to read academic texts). So your help is very appreciated.
Cops&Robbers A two-player experiment
Fear&Love Why can’t we simply express our feelings? Why am I afraid to say ‘I love you’?
unknown [Sci-Fi - mystery - computer]
Honest Critique (Avatar made with Chibi Maker by ~gen8)

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