Magicians of Delphine[GxB][BxB][Dating Sim]ALPHA(July 8)

[Rinima]

He's supposed to be fearsome, and aggressive, and intimidating, and... I'm afraid he's just turned into one of those cute little dogs that bark a lot? Hahaha.

He's certainly not that, if he was, I would not love him nearly as much as I do. And I really really love him. Sho and Aleo are my OTP now lolz

[akemicchi]

Really?! That's good! :'D Even though he's cute, he's still got his manliness intact then. Haha. omg OTP already sdkflsdsdlkf but it's only been the first 4 months out of 12

[Demetis]

I finall finished the alpha on all character routes * v * I must say, I like all characters a lot! They're all different but still very fun to aproach! >w< My favs at the moment are probably Tiberus and Ali'sakir XD

1. How were the introduction scenes?

I think they were good! ovo The history bits might be a bit boring to me (though I still read it) but I think they were neccessary to understand the story XD And I didn't mind reading them either! >w< (Seriously, I just personally think they are a bit boring cause I don't like history, but I didn't feel like they were out of place so >w<!)
As for Ali'sakir's services >w< I am not sure what you mean by making them required events, but I think leaving the reader the choice to read them if they want right now is best ovo Since I can just ignore them when replaying 8'D

2. Did everything also feel rushed to you?

Not at all! I like all the random events and interactions I get with the characters. And also the random events between the characters are amazing! Do not fear having too many events during one year period I think? Because those are the things that make stat raising games much more interesting too! (I like clicking around raising my stats but having events as breaks between all the training is amazing in my opinion.)

I also was wondering a bit about the stats and the "battle system" (you will probably work on that thing as the last one but I was still wondering 8D)
Will the magic stats also influence the battles? o.o And how often will the player have to fight? >w<

[Mad Harlequin]

That's a relief to hear!! I might reduce the amount of information in the beginning available, though. Some of it isn't necessary and could probably be postponed to a later point time in the game.

That's understandable. I'm sure you'll figure it out.

I'm also ecstatic that you like Sitri, and Reziel, too. I love all my babies, haha. Just don't tease Reziel too much; he's already proven he won't hold back on sticking his fingers up your nose. As for Sitri... well... >v>

Yeah, I won't bother Gramps too much if he's going to give me a deviated septum.

And I'm taking your silence as a yes as far as Sitri goes. Heh heh.

Actually, Ali'sakir's talking about the corruption of a person in the sense of 'dirtying' also. x_x If it changes to the saying, "But if you're offering yourself to me, how can I resist?" it misses the duality of 'tainting' someone. It makes better sense in context, ahaha! ;;; But I see what you mean! It does sound awkward and clunky and not natural. orz

Yes, I understood that. Perhaps you could use "But if you want me to taint you, how can I resist?" I just went for an option that sounded more natural---though Ali'sakir might just get away with speech like that since he's not a native of Delphine and so on.

I don't have any proofreaders except for the people that play the demos, so I have to rely on people speaking up when they find some weirdly constructed sentences. :'D I'll be sure to go over my writing as carefully as I can to avoid that, but I've always been a pretty poor writer, especially when it comes to dialogue... "orz

Well, if you'd ever like a hand with proofreading, feel free to drop me a line. I'd be happy to help.

[marshmello]

Whoa, really?! D: Which link did you use to download? I tried them, and the game and the saves worked fine for me. You loaded a previous save into a newly downloaded game, right? Let me try it out and see if that's just a problem from having a previous version loaded into an edited script.

I used the direct download on lemmasoft, yessirree

[Monochromatic]

1. How were the introduction scenes?

I think there was little bit too much exposition, most of it was fine, like Ali'sakir's services (The relationship thing was said to be implemented but I've no idea where to find it or how to see it. Am I missing something?) or Faeran talking about the other magicians, but when I got to Sitri and politics I was feeling a bit bored and wanting to just skip the politics. (Might of also been because out of all of the characters Sitri is my least favourite...).

2. Did everything also feel rushed to you? Like, too many events were happening? I'm actually afraid that I might actually have too many events for a year-long period, ahaha. o|-<

Not at all actually! I loved all the events, it broke up the tedium of just stat building and I was actually looking forward to all the events. They were all interesting and fun so that helps greatly.

[LliiraAnna]

All riiight, I've finished the demo, and... congratulations on successfully turning me into a Sho fangirl XD This said, I think that everyone is interesting in their own right. Great job on the characters!

1. How were the introduction scenes?

I really like the fact that you can skip most of the exposition just by not asking the questions, which is good if you've read it already or just want to be done with the introductions and get to the main part of the game. As for the introduction scenes themselves, I think they were alright (my favorite is Ali'sakir's, cause it's so funny ~)

2. Did everything also feel rushed to you? Like, too many events were happening? I'm actually afraid that I might actually have too many events for a year-long period, ahaha. o|-<

No, not at all! I don't think there were too many events, rather, I think that you've made just the right number of them - and they all were really nice and fun

[lalaluka]

Hi!

First off, I came expecting to try and get only one or two routes, but now I really wanna see them all! Your characters are really charming, though I must say I have an attachment to Faeran and Sitri in particular.

Pacing is really nice, thus far - I find it just about right. You have a compelling way of telling stories, and your music choice is very fitting. In short, I'm loving the gameplay so far!

Second of all, I'm not sure if anyone has already mentioned this, but:
a) There's a spelling error when Aleo and Rima go to town on the "super-important" mission - if I recall, it was "deperately" where it should be "desperately", I think?
b) After the scene where Tiberus shooes of the jeering soldiers and says something along the lines of "you should go back to training now", I assumed that he was supposed to leave - but his sprite remained in the background, even in the following scene where Yue and Ali'sakir are talking? Tiberus' sprite just ends up being behind Ali'sakir (or whoever you choose to talk to), so I thought that might have been an oversight.This occurs in the option "They would've stopped eventually." and "They weren't worth my time.", but not "I was waiting for a knight to save me.", so that's a heads up.

Well, I'm still in the middle of trying to pursue Tiberus (I think?), but that's all I could find so far. I thought you might want to know, if someone hadn't already pointed it out... Eep, this ended up a little longer than I expected.

Thanks for making this game (it's so great) and best of luck for the rest of it! I look forward to what will come.

edit: Also, towards the end of the demo where you can invite someone to the festival - there's an extra Sitri option. The first one leads to more dialogue, but the second one doesn't do anything.

[Vynuxys]

alright! i just finished one playthrough, gonna do a few more to check what else i've to see, but for now here are my thoughts!

firstly i'm really happy there's an option for the gender of the PC! it's a nice touch, we need more of that in the games round here methinks ;v;
secondly i have to say i really enjoyed the demo. it has a nice, easy-to-read writing style and there isn't a single character i dislike. i had a hard time picking just one to go after! from my impressions so far, i get a feeling i'll ship faeran/f!aleo and sho/m!aleo haha. i really can't wait for the rest of the game now ;o;

also, i noticed a few typos? idk if you want those pointed out or not but just in case, here's what i spotted:
first meeting with faeran, "ahaha, i can't even get get a word in edgewise".
asking the general about the city and he says there are beautiful women, aleo says "wome..?"

but yeah anyway, those didn't make the demo any less fun i can't wait for more updates!

[akemicchi]

Aaaahh, thank you so much for the feedback, guys. o|-< I really appreciate that you've taken the time to tell me your thoughts and opinions.

I finall finished the alpha on all character routes * v * I must say, I like all characters a lot! They're all different but still very fun to aproach! >w< My favs at the moment are probably Tiberus and Ali'sakir XD

1. How were the introduction scenes?

I think they were good! ovo The history bits might be a bit boring to me (though I still read it) but I think they were neccessary to understand the story XD And I didn't mind reading them either! >w< (Seriously, I just personally think they are a bit boring cause I don't like history, but I didn't feel like they were out of place so >w<!)
As for Ali'sakir's services >w< I am not sure what you mean by making them required events, but I think leaving the reader the choice to read them if they want right now is best ovo Since I can just ignore them when replaying 8'D

Thank you very much for the feedback! :) I'm glad the characters are all likable! Which history bits were boring-- the one about the Sansa, or all the info in the beginning? I'll be sure to redo the introduction so there's less much less exposition, and as for Sho and the Sansa history, I'll either cut it out, trim it down, or try to make it more interesting. :'D I don't want anyone to feel bored; as the game-maker, I should at least try to make things that aren't interesting interesting. o|-<

2. Did everything also feel rushed to you?

Not at all! I like all the random events and interactions I get with the characters. And also the random events between the characters are amazing! Do not fear having too many events during one year period I think? Because those are the things that make stat raising games much more interesting too! (I like clicking around raising my stats but having events as breaks between all the training is amazing in my opinion.)

Oh! I'm happy to hear that. I'm not sure what I'm going to do now; people seem to like the sheer volume of events, but I've also gotten complaints about the high frequency of the events occurring. I'll just play around more on frequency and find a better balance. Thank you! :)

I also was wondering a bit about the stats and the "battle system" (you will probably work on that thing as the last one but I was still wondering 8D)
Will the magic stats also influence the battles? o.o And how often will the player have to fight? >w<

Yes, the magic will influence the battles, but moreso in their properties (Attack, Defense, Special) than the specific magic (Fire, Wind, etc). Sho and Yue (who raise the Attack stat) are the units you use for taking down huge chunks of HP, for example, while Faeran and Ali'sakir (who raise the Special stat) have special properties like healing your units or giving a poison effect on your enemies.

There will only be a handful of battles (4-5) and they'll be completely optional so people can just not do it if they don't want to. I haven't decided yet what the rewards of participating in battle will be-- items, affection points, or maybe an extra event you can see?-- but you're sure to get something out of participating. :)

Yes, I understood that. Perhaps you could use "But if you want me to taint you, how can I resist?" I just went for an option that sounded more natural---though Ali'sakir might just get away with speech like that since he's not a native of Delphine and so on.

THAT MAKES MUCH MORE SENSE. I'll change the line in my script right away (and eventually clean up my first page... one day...) Thank you!

Well, if you'd ever like a hand with proofreading, feel free to drop me a line. I'd be happy to help. :)

Wow!! Really?! Thank you so much for the help! I'll put together a list of some of the more awkward lines that I can't seem to fix and I'll be sure to ask your opinion! Thank you so much again! It'd be a huge help. o|-<

1. How were the introduction scenes?

I think there was little bit too much exposition, most of it was fine, like Ali'sakir's services (The relationship thing was said to be implemented but I've no idea where to find it or how to see it. Am I missing something?) or Faeran talking about the other magicians, but when I got to Sitri and politics I was feeling a bit bored and wanting to just skip the politics. (Might of also been because out of all of the characters Sitri is my least favourite...).

Ahhh, I was worried about that. I'll lessen all that information and find more interesting ways to introduce it. Thank you very much! :) I'm also glad to hear the amount of events and the fact that they weren't boring to you isn't a problem. I feel more confident about the events I have-- I'll write more, but tweak their frequency a little. Thank you again!

Ah! On the relationship thing: it's the Fortune button at the top of the screen. Originally it was supposed to be a series of buttons where you can choose the two characters to determine their relationship, but I forgot I cut that out. Now that you've mentioned it, Ali'sakir's Relationship Chart is misleading. ;;; I'll try to fix that.

All riiight, I've finished the demo, and... congratulations on successfully turning me into a Sho fangirl XD This said, I think that everyone is interesting in their own right. Great job on the characters!

1. How were the introduction scenes?

I really like the fact that you can skip most of the exposition just by not asking the questions, which is good if you've read it already or just want to be done with the introductions and get to the main part of the game. As for the introduction scenes themselves, I think they were alright (my favorite is Ali'sakir's, cause it's so funny ~)

2. Did everything also feel rushed to you? Like, too many events were happening? I'm actually afraid that I might actually have too many events for a year-long period, ahaha. o|-<

No, not at all! I don't think there were too many events, rather, I think that you've made just the right number of them - and they all were really nice and fun :)

Thank you very much for the feedback! I'm so glad you liked Sho so much, haha. I'll be implementing a 'Skip to DayPlanner' button after choosing your gender so people will have to option to skip the intro. I'll probably have the game randomize which of the choices you've chosen. That way, if you want complete control of the bonus stats you get at the beginning, you'll have to go through the intro... Yeah, I think that's a good idea for now.

Hi!

First off, I came expecting to try and get only one or two routes, but now I really wanna see them all! Your characters are really charming, though I must say I have an attachment to Faeran and Sitri in particular.

Pacing is really nice, thus far - I find it just about right. You have a compelling way of telling stories, and your music choice is very fitting. In short, I'm loving the gameplay so far!

Second of all, I'm not sure if anyone has already mentioned this, but:
a) There's a spelling error when Aleo and Rima go to town on the "super-important" mission - if I recall, it was "deperately" where it should be "desperately", I think?
b) After the scene where Tiberus shooes of the jeering soldiers and says something along the lines of "you should go back to training now", I assumed that he was supposed to leave - but his sprite remained in the background, even in the following scene where Yue and Ali'sakir are talking? Tiberus' sprite just ends up being behind Ali'sakir (or whoever you choose to talk to), so I thought that might have been an oversight.This occurs in the option "They would've stopped eventually." and "They weren't worth my time.", but not "I was waiting for a knight to save me.", so that's a heads up.

Well, I'm still in the middle of trying to pursue Tiberus (I think?), but that's all I could find so far. I thought you might want to know, if someone hadn't already pointed it out... Eep, this ended up a little longer than I expected.

Thanks for making this game (it's so great) and best of luck for the rest of it! I look forward to what will come. :)

edit: Also, towards the end of the demo where you can invite someone to the festival - there's an extra Sitri option. The first one leads to more dialogue, but the second one doesn't do anything.

Ahh, you're too nice. ;_; Thank you so much for the feedback and the list of issues! I won't be releasing another demo for the fixes unless there's a game-breaking problem, but I'll definitely work on getting all of those fixed. :) Thank you very much again! I'm really glad you enjoyed the game! I hope I can continue to meet your expectations!

alright! i just finished one playthrough, gonna do a few more to check what else i've to see, but for now here are my thoughts!

firstly i'm really happy there's an option for the gender of the PC! it's a nice touch, we need more of that in the games round here methinks ;v;
secondly i have to say i really enjoyed the demo. it has a nice, easy-to-read writing style and there isn't a single character i dislike. i had a hard time picking just one to go after! from my impressions so far, i get a feeling i'll ship faeran/f!aleo and sho/m!aleo haha. i really can't wait for the rest of the game now ;o;

also, i noticed a few typos? idk if you want those pointed out or not but just in case, here's what i spotted:
first meeting with faeran, "ahaha, i can't even get get a word in edgewise".
asking the general about the city and he says there are beautiful women, aleo says "wome..?"

but yeah anyway, those didn't make the demo any less fun :D i can't wait for more updates!

Ahh, thank you so much! You don't know how happy I am to hear all that. o|-< I'm feeling a little more confident about my project, eheh. And no no no! I definitely do want things like typos pointed out! :) Thank you so much for taking the time!

I have a huge problem with doubling words for some reason. I've had, like, ten instances of 'the the', four instances of 'while while', and now two instances of 'get get'. :'D I can only imagine what other words I've doubled. ;;; Anyway, I've fixed the Aleo/Faeran line! Thank you so much for pointing it out! As for the line with Tiberus and Aleo, Aleo was supposed to be tapering off there, but it definitely looks like a misspelling, huh? Would it be better to have ''Wo'...?' in the game? Though I guess I could just go ahead and have Aleo just say the whole thing; it's not really important to have Aleo tapering off at that point.

Thanks again!! :)

UPDATE
I haven't been writing at all, but I have been drawing a lot. I've been drawing rough drafts of the other poses for the main characters and working on thumbnails for backgrounds. I have a few designs for Delphine soldier outfits, too. I think I'll make this week's goal: try to get as many sprites of the Delphine soldiers done! >v<9 It'll definitely boost my passion for this game to see some completed sprites instead of the grey ones I have now.

Anyway, here are some concept sketches of some characters in Part II. The cast of Magicians of Delphine gets much larger when Part II rolls around... I have maybe 10 more important people to do, too. Only 2-4 of them will appear in any one character route, so hopefully people won't be overwhelmed by the amount of characters.

Kidja, Yowan, Princess Lulu of Leveaux, and Jumar

Volgarand, Mizar, and Lady Juliettenne

King Deidric of Delphine, Emperor Dunali Rahjurr of the Narra Realms, and Yssid

[Mad Harlequin]

THAT MAKES MUCH MORE SENSE. I'll change the line in my script right away (and eventually clean up my first page... one day...) Thank you!

Oh, it's no trouble! I live for this kind of thing.

Wow!! Really?! Thank you so much for the help! I'll put together a list of some of the more awkward lines that I can't seem to fix and I'll be sure to ask your opinion! Thank you so much again! It'd be a huge help. o|-<

You're welcome! It always helps to have someone who's detached from a work look it over. That's why editors exist. And I'd be glad to help you out with general proofreading too, if you like.

[akemicchi]

Ahh, thank you! o|-< The writing is pretty embarrassing at this point (just letting my fingers regurgitate everything I'm thinking no matter how stupid, haha) but when I do get it to a more decent quality, I'll drop you a PM! :) Really, thank you so much. I really, really appreciate it!

[Ran08]

Oh my gosh! I remember this game. I checked it out last December. Hahaha. Yep, I definitely see my comment on the page. Haha, awesome! And oh myyyy, there's a demo now?! Yay! Hahahaha.

I'm gonna download the demo and give you my thoughts when I'm done playing! Hahaha, so excited to play this. :3

[Akitsuki]

MORE CHARACTERS!! Oh my god, you don't know how eager I am to play the second demo!
Don't worry, more characters only makes me feel more curious about how the game would be when it's finished. And I know, making stories and the arts when many characters are involved is not easy. I hope you keep on your spirit to complete the demo, and the game too! Good luck!!

[Hazel-Bun]

...All those new hot men. *faints* I know my hearts not in the right place oh good God ;o; I really liked the demo! Especially the opening bit with the history, because I love world building. Keep up the amazing work!