Hurricane Paisley VN on Kickstarter

A place for game announcements, and for people to discuss games being made.
Forum rules
Please read the sticky before creating a new topic. Linking to Kickstarter/Crowdfunded games requires a demo. Updates to Patreon-backed games may be posted once every 2 months. Adult content should not be posted in this forum.
Post Reply
Message
Author
User avatar
huntj09
Newbie
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2014 8:28 pm
Contact:

Hurricane Paisley VN on Kickstarter

#1 Post by huntj09 » Tue Apr 22, 2014 5:52 pm

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/21 ... sual-novel

A playable, clunky demo is available.

Story:
The player becomes Paisley, a young woman who is looking for her twin sister Reyna. Reyna was kidnapped by an evil villain called Zephyr and his buxom accomplice Rubis and is planning to use Reyna for sinister purposes. With energetic, ladies' man Zayes to aid in the rescue, Paisley has to find her sister, and discover things about herself and the land of Florana that she would never have dreamed of.
There are some mild sexual references within the game but no explicit content or scenes.

Characters:

Paisley:
Image
The strong-willed sister. Paisley is the more independent of the two sisters. Having trained in her home country in the art of the sword, she comes to the kingdom of Florana in search of her twin sister Reyna, who was kidnapped without any explanation.

Reyna:
Image
Reyna is quiet, kind, gentle and relies on her older sister for support and comfort. Reyna has always been talented with a gift for music and healing and has always attended to Paisley's wounds when she scuffles with the local boys. She was taken without warning and is frightened without her sister by her side.

Zayes:
Image
A ladies' man for all occasions, Zayes is Paisley's first encounter in Florana. When he realises his flirting is futile, and when he sees Paisley's skills with the sword he decides that he will accompany her on her quest, much to the dismay of Paisley who prefers to be alone. A skilled hand-to-hand fighter, he proves himself to be a wonderful ally to Paisley.

Rubis:
Image
The busty companion to Zephyr. At first she appears to be Zephyr's groupie, but beyond that it is clear that she's a very powerful woman. She uses strange powers, manipulating the flora around her to do her bidding. It's easy to see why Zephyr would make such an ally.

Zephyr:
Image
The kidnapper. It is unclear at first why Zephyr kidnaps Reyna, but as the events in Hurricane Paisley unfold, it is evident that there's a more sinister purpose behind his actions.

Features:
-Free-to-play
- An expansive storyline with twists and turns
- Custom menus and sprites
- Beautifully painted portrait images with each character having an expansive range of emotions and actions.
- An amazing fully animated intro video
Why RPG Maker? Why not Renp'y?
Unlike traditional visual novels, using rpg maker means that there can be more action on the screen. Instead of just telling the story through words, backdrops and portrait images, we can display actions happening on the screen and take storytelling to a whole new level. A player can better see the environments and actions can have more meaning.

Concept Art: Aim of this thread:
Giving the game a bit of promotion.

User avatar
Mad_Scientist
Regular
Posts: 57
Joined: Sun Sep 01, 2013 12:41 am
Completed: Bipedal Bunny From The Moon With A Machine Gun And Helicopter Backpack Dating Sim
Projects: Summer in Trigue, Darling Shoujo Imoutohotep, The Five Figures, Unseen
Contact:

Re: Hurricane Paisley VN on Kickstarter

#2 Post by Mad_Scientist » Tue Apr 22, 2014 10:22 pm

I'm afraid my comments here are going to come off a bit harsh, but I feel I am being fair. I think there are a lot of issues with the project. In my opinion it's not ready for kickstarter, and I'm not sure you should even include a link to the campaign here.

Let's start with the demo. The playable demo you included contained no choices and was over in a few minutes. It literally took me longer to download the demo than it did to play it. The demo revealed practically nothing about the characters or story, the summaries on the kickstarter page told me more. And considering you plan to change the art and backgrounds in the final game, and you have music posted on the kickstarter page, the demo really showed me nothing. It was meaningless.

Sorry if that's harsh, but it's the truth. And I can't help but feel that you probably threw the demo together just so that you'd be able to link to the kickstarter campaign without violating the forum rules, given that you ran afoul of that particular rule with your previous kickstarter that you put on hold to focus on this game. But the thing is, the rule on crowdfunding specifies a nontrivial playable demo, and I simply don't think what you provided fits that description.

There are some other things about the project that stood out to me as not good. You are using RPG Maker to create the game, and you say you're doing so that there can be "more action on the screen." But that is kind of a vague description. Are you talking about animations and stuff? Cause Ren'Py can do that. Are you talking about showing people walking around on a map or something?

The demo failed to really show what you were talking about. There was absolutely nothing in there that showed you taking "storytelling to a whole new level." What the demo did show was a 200+ megabyte file size for something that lasted maybe 4 minutes and a resolution far lower than even the default 800x600 of Ren'Py. The demo doesn't exactly do much to inspire confidence that your choice to use RPG Maker was a good idea. Quite the opposite actually.

I could understand more if you were adding RPG elements. When I first heard about your project, I assumed it was a VN/RPG hybrid. That can be done with Ren'Py, but it's more complicated than making a pure VN, so I could understand using RPG Maker. But reading the kickstarter, it doesn't look like there is actually going to be any RPG elements. Which really feels kind of off. In the demo when the wolves showed up, I kept expecting it to go to a battle, yet it didn't.

I said it earlier, but I just don't think your project is ready for kickstarter now. You're asking for 4,000 AUD and are an inexperienced developer, and the most substantial thing you have to show are 4 music tracks and some concept art.

Now, after all that harshness, some good stuff. I do like the concept art. I liked the art for your other project as well. I think that there might be some potential in the premise. I wasn't exactly blown away by the writing in the demo, but then again it was so short there wasn't much to go on. But regardless, I think your project has potential, especially as a full VN/RPG hybrid if you went that route. I just don't think it's at a point where you should really be asking for funding. Sorry, but those are my honest thoughts.
Check out the demo of Darling Shoujo Imoutohotep, my mummy VN. Cause haven't you always wanted to play a Pharaoh in love with his mummy little sister? Oh, you haven't always wanted that? Uh... well... if you check it out anyways, I'll be happy. (Cannot guarantee your happiness though).
You can follow me on twitter at:
@MadNovelist212 My "official" account, follow for updates.
@MadScientist212 My personal account. Beware, I tend to babble.

User avatar
Lesleigh63
Miko-Class Veteran
Posts: 559
Joined: Fri May 31, 2013 7:59 pm
Completed: House of Dolls; Lads in Distress - Nano'16; Delusion Gallery Nano'18
Projects: BL VN
Deviantart: Lesleigh63
Contact:

Re: Hurricane Paisley VN on Kickstarter

#3 Post by Lesleigh63 » Sat Apr 26, 2014 10:08 pm

The art looks nice. I don't have enough download to try the demo. Good luck with kickstarter.
Image

victorita9
Regular
Posts: 148
Joined: Fri May 04, 2007 4:57 pm
Contact:

Re: Hurricane Paisley VN on Kickstarter

#4 Post by victorita9 » Wed Apr 30, 2014 5:48 pm

Are you sure you want a clunky demo to showcase your future game? There are other kick starter games a great demo that have not reached their goal(disclosure, I know nothing of making games, this is the point of view of a game buyer).

The art looks amazing.
Last edited by victorita9 on Thu May 01, 2014 11:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Flu
Newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu May 01, 2014 6:36 am
Contact:

Re: Hurricane Paisley VN on Kickstarter

#5 Post by Flu » Thu May 01, 2014 7:12 am

I don't think you should be asking for $4k to produce this game. In fact, I don't think you should have made a thread to promote your game this early. The demo you provided is almost 200MB in size, and there isn't much content at all. The fact that you described it as a 'clunky' demo suggests that you didn't put much effort into it, and it reflects poorly on what you're trying to do. If you want more people to support your game, I suggest that you polish the demo so it showcases the best you have to offer thus far.

Regarding the characters... They sound very two dimensional and, plainly put, a little clichéd. The plot itself is does not deviate from the generic 'defeat bad guy and rescue girl' storyline. I may be somewhat quick in this judgement, however, as this is still in production. Still, I expected a little more considering you're asking for $4k to produce this. You claim that it has an "expansive storyline with twists and turns," but you don't show this here or on your Kickstarter.

The art is very nice and is of a good decent quality. I think it's the best thing out of this entire thread. However, I personally believe they aren't very interesting character designs. As I said, the more I analyze them (at least, what there is to analyze), the more I begin to see the clichés coming through. In the demo, the opening line is: "Hey, it's a female I haven't had the pleasure of knowing yet..." And the entire dialogue made by Zayes screams CLICHÉ. If this was a satire, I would laugh and think it amusing. However, if he is meant to be taken seriously, I think he could be written in a way that doesn't make me want to exit the game immediately and/or condemn him to the pit of Gary Stus. The characters also fluctuate between using formal and very casual language, when it should be as consistent as possible. "...that's not a barracks." Doesn't read very well, either. I may be mistaken in saying that it sounds like a grammatical error... but I digress.

In regards to the look of the game itself. I hope that the final product is different. Because, if I were to buy this game after it being funded for $4k, I would expect a lot more than what you've offered in your demo. The window itself is so small, and I would imagine it would get irritating if you were to play for a long time. I noticed that Paisley's sprite was several pixels above the text box, as well. And I question why you're using RPG Maker and not Ren'Py? I don't see what RPG Maker has to offer that Ren'Py doesn't, and if it actually does it better. "A player can better see the environments and actions can have more meaning." While this sounds good on paper, when you realize how small the screen is and that everything is rather poorly pixelled, I don't think it really matters if the player sees it or not.

I think that with fine-tuning, you could make an interesting game. But what you have offered doesn't really seem like a $4k worthy project, especially since you haven't made any other games.

User avatar
huntj09
Newbie
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2014 8:28 pm
Contact:

Re: Hurricane Paisley VN on Kickstarter

#6 Post by huntj09 » Sun Jun 01, 2014 7:10 pm

New link. We've created a new demo and lowered the goal.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/21 ... tive-story

User avatar
Marionette
Regular
Posts: 126
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2011 12:04 pm
Completed: https://marionette.itch.io/
Projects: Get Meowt of Here
Deviantart: rexx9224
itch: marionette
Location: Ireland
Contact:

Re: Hurricane Paisley VN on Kickstarter

#7 Post by Marionette » Sun Jun 01, 2014 7:41 pm

When i tried to download the new demo, chrome decided it was malicious and blocked it. D:
(Also is it supposed to be 8mb? Thats a big difference from the 200mb people mentioned for the old demo.)

User avatar
Asceai
Eileen-Class Veteran
Posts: 1258
Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2007 7:13 am
Projects: a battle engine
Contact:

Re: Hurricane Paisley VN on Kickstarter

#8 Post by Asceai » Sun Jun 01, 2014 8:44 pm

Marionette wrote:When i tried to download the new demo, chrome decided it was malicious and blocked it. D:
(Also is it supposed to be 8mb? Thats a big difference from the 200mb people mentioned for the old demo.)
Detection ratio 0/52 on virustotal, seems to be fine.

gekiganwing
Lemma-Class Veteran
Posts: 2467
Joined: Wed Sep 29, 2004 1:38 pm
Contact:

Re: Hurricane Paisley VN on Kickstarter

#9 Post by gekiganwing » Sun Jun 01, 2014 8:53 pm

Huntj09: I just looked at r/vndevs, and saw that you asked how to make your character descriptions more interesting without giving away major spoilers. That's a good question, and I'm not sure what to say. Every story is different, and there's no single way to create great character profiles or demos. Right now, I'd say that the info about Forever Alone: Nerds the Gathering is clever, and helps me stay interested in the premise even though its updates are not frequent.
Marionette wrote:When i tried to download the new demo, chrome decided it was malicious and blocked it. D:
(Also is it supposed to be 8mb? Thats a big difference from the 200mb people mentioned for the old demo.)
The file is just 8 MB. That said...

1. What security program are you using? When I used Norton Antivirus in the recent past, I had problems downloading genuine freeware and demos... it would automatically delete the files without asking.
2. Can you change the settings of Chrome? If not, can you use another browser?

User avatar
Marionette
Regular
Posts: 126
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2011 12:04 pm
Completed: https://marionette.itch.io/
Projects: Get Meowt of Here
Deviantart: rexx9224
itch: marionette
Location: Ireland
Contact:

Re: Hurricane Paisley VN on Kickstarter

#10 Post by Marionette » Mon Jun 02, 2014 12:51 pm

gekiganwing wrote:Huntj09: I just looked at r/vndevs, and saw that you asked how to make your character descriptions more interesting without giving away major spoilers. That's a good question, and I'm not sure what to say. Every story is different, and there's no single way to create great character profiles or demos. Right now, I'd say that the info about Forever Alone: Nerds the Gathering is clever, and helps me stay interested in the premise even though its updates are not frequent.
Marionette wrote:When i tried to download the new demo, chrome decided it was malicious and blocked it. D:
(Also is it supposed to be 8mb? Thats a big difference from the 200mb people mentioned for the old demo.)
The file is just 8 MB. That said...

1. What security program are you using? When I used Norton Antivirus in the recent past, I had problems downloading genuine freeware and demos... it would automatically delete the files without asking.
2. Can you change the settings of Chrome? If not, can you use another browser?
I have avast installed but it just seemed to be chrome that stopped it, and i had the option of releasing it if i wanted to, but i wasn't sure, since the filesize was considerably different than previously mentioned, so i didn't.
If everyone else says its ok then it probably is.
(but now for some reason i'm not able to click on the images to download it again. Ever the unlucky one. ;-;)

User avatar
Mad_Scientist
Regular
Posts: 57
Joined: Sun Sep 01, 2013 12:41 am
Completed: Bipedal Bunny From The Moon With A Machine Gun And Helicopter Backpack Dating Sim
Projects: Summer in Trigue, Darling Shoujo Imoutohotep, The Five Figures, Unseen
Contact:

Re: Hurricane Paisley VN on Kickstarter

#11 Post by Mad_Scientist » Tue Jun 03, 2014 2:03 am

Marionette wrote:When i tried to download the new demo, chrome decided it was malicious and blocked it. D:
(Also is it supposed to be 8mb? Thats a big difference from the 200mb people mentioned for the old demo.)
The old demo used RPG Maker, which I imagine is the reason for the file size, because of all the extra framework and stuff there.
Marionette wrote:
If everyone else says its ok then it probably is.
(but now for some reason i'm not able to click on the images to download it again. Ever the unlucky one. ;-;)
Same issue here, wonder if a link got screwed up after one of the updates.



Putting that aside, I'd like to address the topic creator and talk about the kickstarter now. Specifically, some issues with it. While I cannot download the demo, so I cannot see if it is much more than the old demo, I have a problem with the kickstarter.
Kickstarter Page wrote:Time is the factor that will prove to be the biggest challenge. Although the programming is mostly complete, the creation of quality art assets takes time. The aim is to have the game released by the end of the year, however allowing for hiccups it is most likely to be released by Q1 2015.

You posted this on the last kickstarter, the one that used RPG Maker and claimed that doing so would let you "bring storytelling to a new level." This new kickstarter, you made the same claim about the programming being mostly done, but released a demo in Novelty instead, apparently having abandoned RPG Maker. And then you announced in an update you'd actually be using Belle for the game. (I question the wisdom of using an engine that is still in alpha and whose own creators don't recommend for long and complex games yet, but that's a slight issue compared with the rest.)

In a post on reddit, you mentioned that you had not yet decided whether you'd be using Novelty or Belle. This was made after the second kickstarter had been launched, a bit before the latest update.


So, can you explain to me why you created a kickstarter for a game when you were so early in production you hadn't even decided on an engine? Can you explain how it is possible for the programming to be mostly complete when you switched the engine super recently, and hadn't even decided what to use for certain a couple days after the kickstarter launched?

I'll be frank. I think you are outright lying on your kickstarter page, claiming you have made more progress than you actually have.

If you have an answer to this, some explanation about how you can be nearly done programming a game at the same time you don't even know what engine you're using, I'd love to hear it.
Check out the demo of Darling Shoujo Imoutohotep, my mummy VN. Cause haven't you always wanted to play a Pharaoh in love with his mummy little sister? Oh, you haven't always wanted that? Uh... well... if you check it out anyways, I'll be happy. (Cannot guarantee your happiness though).
You can follow me on twitter at:
@MadNovelist212 My "official" account, follow for updates.
@MadScientist212 My personal account. Beware, I tend to babble.

User avatar
Omniknight
Veteran
Posts: 201
Joined: Wed Dec 25, 2013 10:08 pm

Re: Hurricane Paisley VN on Kickstarter

#12 Post by Omniknight » Tue Jun 03, 2014 10:52 pm

THIS STATEMENT IS PURELY HYPOTHETICAL AND SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED OFFICIAL; rather, I am just suggesting a possibility because Pheonix Wright is going to win the case at this rate. (So I'm Miles Edgeworth now? Haha...)

Compare belle to novelty. Anyone notice anything similar between the two links?

...that's right, those two programs use almost the same layout. In the most polite way possible, Belle is actually Novelty + Python Libraries...

So rushing to the defense of Hurricane Paisley, it might be that the programming is indeed mostly complete but is flexible due to the similarity between the 2 engines.
Nevertheless, I must agree with Pheonix Wright on the point that Novelty is probably the way to go.

Miles Edgeworth Out!

User avatar
Mad_Scientist
Regular
Posts: 57
Joined: Sun Sep 01, 2013 12:41 am
Completed: Bipedal Bunny From The Moon With A Machine Gun And Helicopter Backpack Dating Sim
Projects: Summer in Trigue, Darling Shoujo Imoutohotep, The Five Figures, Unseen
Contact:

Re: Hurricane Paisley VN on Kickstarter

#13 Post by Mad_Scientist » Thu Jun 05, 2014 1:19 am

It is true that both programs use a GUI and they have some similarities. But that doesn't mean that there is any way to import something you've created with Novelty into Belle, or vice-versa. The editors are similar, but are the actual engines and scripting languages underneath those editors at all alike? If not, than it doesn't matter how similar the visual editors are, just like it wouldn't matter if they were both programs that used text editors.

In addition, the claim about the programming being mostly done was made for the previous kickstarter as well, the one that used RPG Maker.

Perhaps I am being too cynical, but I find the whole thing highly dubious. But I was curious about Belle anyways, so perhaps I play around with it and Novelty a bit and find out for myself, if I have the time.
Check out the demo of Darling Shoujo Imoutohotep, my mummy VN. Cause haven't you always wanted to play a Pharaoh in love with his mummy little sister? Oh, you haven't always wanted that? Uh... well... if you check it out anyways, I'll be happy. (Cannot guarantee your happiness though).
You can follow me on twitter at:
@MadNovelist212 My "official" account, follow for updates.
@MadScientist212 My personal account. Beware, I tend to babble.

freemind
Regular
Posts: 63
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2012 8:53 am
Contact:

Re: Hurricane Paisley VN on Kickstarter

#14 Post by freemind » Fri Jul 11, 2014 7:43 am

Hey,

I'm the developer of Belle and just found out this topic and wanted to clear some misconceptions.
Like Mad_Scientist pointed out, although Belle and Novelty share a similar layout, they have pratically nothing else in common. As far as i know, Novelty uses DirectX for everything, while Belle uses software rendering (and OpenGL in the future, probably) for the editor and HTML5 for the engine itself. Also for scripting Novelty uses AngelScript whereas Belle uses Javascript. Not even to mention the engines' API is different, so even if the languages were the same, it wouldn't be of much help.
And, by the way, Belle doesn't use any Python libraries or Python itself, it's written in C++ and Javascript. (nothing against Python, though :mrgreen:)

About the project being done with Belle, as much as it hurts for me to say, i would be careful about making such a choice, because i don't want people to get fustrated with a version that i know that might have problems. Of course testing and feedback is always welcome and helpful.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot]